Disclaimer: See default chapter

A/N: Many thanks to Elwen the Insane Elf for beta reading.

Chapter 16

Whisper

Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drive me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away

[CHORUS:]

Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light

I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away

[Chorus]

Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me
Shall I give in?
Upon my end shall I begin?
Forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet my end

(Whisper by Evanescence)

*~*

The wind gently blew through the forest, blowing snowflakes every which way. All the elves had their hoods up from the cold wind; many of them had gloves on and nearly all were half-asleep. It was true that elves did not need as much rest as a mortal would, but nearly all of the elves had had a hard two day ride to rescue the prince, a quick hard battle, a quick pause and then they were on their horses again.

Many had not even eaten anything. They were all weary and in danger. If attacked, they would be overpowered.

"Thranduil!" Galion called out, ignoring the formal title. He had known Thranduil ever since the king was a prince. In fact, he had been secondary to the main healer who had delivered the former prince. Such titles meant very little to the healer.

"Yes Galion?"

Galion quickly kneed his horse forward to Thranduil's side. "We all need to take a break, Thranduil. Many of your elves are about ready to drop." His voice lowered. "You need your rest as much as they do."

Thranduil looked down at his youngest son in his arms. They had decided that the best way for Legolas to get back was for someone to hold him. Thranduil, of course, had decided that that someone would be him. No one objected. Not even Galion. Of course, then again, very few had ever objected when Thranduil glared at them.

"There is a shelter not too far ahead." Thranduil informed the healer. "We will stop for the night there and continue on in the morning."

Galion nodded. "Good."

Thranduil gently squeezed Legolas' hand. Though he was still supposed to be unconscious, he had started stirring hours ago. He was completely awake now, and Thranduil knew that he must be in horrible pain, yet had not made a single sound.

"Legolas?" Though Thranduil's voice was very soft, he knew that with the close proximity, Legolas could very clearly hear him.

"Yes Ada?" Legolas' voice was equally soft.

"How do you fare?"

"My leg hurts as does my back, but I am doing better." Came the young prince's soft admission.

"We will be stopping in a little bit, and I expect you to tell Galion whatever pains you have." Thranduil ordered.

"Yes Ada." Legolas replied quietly.

A few moments of silence went by, while Thranduil digested the fact that his stubborn, prideful son was actually agreeing to all he said.

"Legolas?"

"Yes Ada?"

"What is the matter?"

"Just thinking." Came Legolas' soft reply.))

"About what?" Thranduil prodded.

"My captivity." Legolas answered.))

"What about it?"

"What he was actually going to do, had you not rescued me." Legolas said slowly. "The things that he said to me. The places he touched me. The things he used to hurt me."

The king was startled at the sheer, brutal honesty in Legolas' words

Legolas twisted around, looking up at his ada. "He hurt me Ada." He said simply. "I did not realize how much he was going to hurt me until now." His voice broke.

Thranduil gently squeezed Legolas even tighter to his chest. "Oh my little 'Las. I would have burned the world down, if that was the price to keep you innocent."

Legolas smiled in spite of himself. "I know Ada." He sighed, letting his fingers twist the horse's mane. "I know, but you could never keep me as innocent as I was."

Thranduil felt his heart sink at Legolas' words. 'Innocent as I was' kept echoing through his mind.

It was at that moment that Thranduil knew that he would never hold the same Legolas in his arms again.

"There are many things that I never knew before Ada." Legolas continued, not realizing the impact of his words. "Things that I didn't know, and shouldn't have ever known." He bit his lip. "Aragorn taught me many things, of other realms, other lands, other people. But nothing could have prepared me for this, Ada."

Thranduil kept silent, knowing his child needed to get the horrible burden off of his chest.

"There was only one thing that kept me going, Ada." Legolas admitted. "Only one thing." He twisted around, looking up into his beloved Adar's face. "It was you. It was your love that kept me from quitting." He smiled. "I knew you'd save me."

Thranduil's throat tightened.

"He said you'd never come. But I knew differently." Legolas continued confidently. "I knew you would come."

Thranduil's grip on Legolas' hand tightened, but still he said nothing.

"There were times when I didn't know." Legolas said hesitantly. "But I always knew in my heart you would come."

Thranduil closed his eyes, trying to stop the pain in his own heart. The pain of hearing such an open, calm honesty from his beaten, battered child was heart-rending.

"What are you going to do with Siovan, Ada?" Legolas questioned suddenly, surprising the older elf.

"He will be tried, and we shall see if he knows anything that we need to know." Thranduil replied.

"When Govi, the first Easterling who had me, gave me to Siovan, Siovan said something that stuck in my memory." Legolas said, biting his lip as he remembered the sad smile that Siovan had given him.

"And what was that?" Thranduil prodded.

"He said that we are all slaves to something." Legolas reflected. "Do you think that is true?"

"There are some who would say that one would be a slave to something, but yet there are others who would say that they are dedicated to something." Thranduil said quietly. "Such as the sons of Elrond. Their thirst for orc blood has been known though out elven realms, and undoubtedly beyond them. But would you consider them slaves to that?"

"No." Legolas replied firmly.

"No, but they are dedicated and steadfast to what they do." Thranduil said. "Their mother was tormented by orcs, something that ever every elf fears." He smiled, knowing Legolas' silent question. "Yes, even I fear being taken by orcs." He sobered. "Yet, even while I can realize the pain of losing a loved one, I cannot help but feel as though Elrond is letting them do as they wish a little too freely."

Legolas nodded. He too had thought that though Elrond loved his sons with all his worth, he allowed, and perhaps even blessed his twin sons' thirst for blood.))

"I would not allow my sons on such a quest." Thranduil said quietly. "No matter what their mother suffered."

"Isn't that a little harsh though, Ada?" Legolas asked, thinking of his own mother.

"Perhaps to some, it is." Thranduil admitted. "But there are other things to do, besides kill orcs."

He was hoping that Legolas would rise to the occasion and blurt out. "Like what?" But when only silence met his ears, Thranduil gave a little sigh. "There has been many an argument between Lord Elrond and I."

Legolas stirred slightly. "Of what?"

"How he raises children and how I raise my children." Thranduil teased lightly.

Legolas blinked, confused. His mind was still in turmoil from all the previous metal battles as well as the physical ones. His body and mind ached, and it was hard for him to truly concentrate on what his Ada was saying, or rather, trying to say.

Thranduil noticed the confusion and his worry went up a notch. Legolas had always been able to follow and understand even the most vague conversation. But yet, here he was, struggling to understand a simple sentence.

"We stop here!" Thranduil raised his voice slightly above the now howling winds from the north. It was bitterly cold out, even for an elf, but even worse for Legolas, whose elven healing traits had been severely weakened.

He was cold. Colder than he ever thought possible for an elf. He had often heard of Aragorn complaining of the cold, but had never realized what the human had really gone through until now.

He winced as his father slid off behind him, then as gently as possible, slid him off as well. Though he made no sound, Thranduil would easily see that Legolas was in severe pain.

"Galion!" He called to the healer. "Legolas is awake." He turned to look at his eldest. "Lomion, get the map, we need to make sure our way back is the easiest."

Lomion nodded, as he slid off of his own horse. The spot that Thranduil had chosen to spend the night had a large almost cave like quality, though one could only go about forty yards back. It was an ideal place to hole up if necessary. The trees provided enough cover around the entrance, to block most of the wind, and thus letting the elves start fires easily. At the same time, the cave and trees provided enough cover so that the light from the fire wouldn't show very far.

Pulling out a map from his pack, he strode the nearest fire and placed it on the ground, setting rocks on the corners. He gestured for his father to come over as he peered at the map. "We are about half way back to the realm." He said quietly. "The path we are on is the quickest and easiest way to get back." He pointed to several of the other paths. "That last storm we had knocked down several trees. I was awaiting word from some of the settlements around there if the paths were cleaned off or not." He shook his head. "Unfortunately, I had not the time to open any of the messages before we left."

Thranduil nodded understandingly.

"If we continued to go on this same path." Lomion continued. "We should be able to reach the palace by tomorrow afternoon."

Thranduil nodded, then placed a hand on Lomion's shoulder. "Thank you Lomion."

Lomion looked startled. "For what?"

"Everything." Thranduil said simply. "Everything."

*~*~*

Thalion groaned as Aragorn gently tied off the bandage.

"There." Aragorn said, satisfied. "That should hold until we get back to Rivendell."

Thalion rolled his eyes. "Help me up, ranger."

Thalion's bandage had somehow slipped out of the knot holding it together, and it had caused quite an alarm when Haldir had felt something wet on his hand. They had quickly dismounted and Aragorn hurriedly found a new bandage and then packing more herbs in the freely bleeding wound, knotted the bandage once again.

Helping the prince up, Aragorn teased him. "I didn't know that princes' asked for help."

Thalion grinned before hiding it quickly. "I didn't ask for help." He stated haughtily. "I ordered you to help me." In truth, he had come to like the young dark haired man. He had only met Aragorn once before, and whenever Aragorn had been at Mirkwood, he had been off on patrols.

"How far are we from Rivendell now, Haldir?" Thalion asked, as he was once more placed in front of the Lothlorien guard.

Haldir looked up at the darkening sky. "We should be there within a half- hour, my Lord." He said quietly.

Thalion winced. "Good." He shifted slightly. "I am getting quite sick of your horse, Haldir." He teased, while his hand ruffled the mane of the brown horse.

The horse snorted as she shook her head. Haldir chuckled. "It appears she is getting sick of you as well."

With a laugh, the company of rangers and elves rode off into the night.

*~*~*

Thorinell drew a deep breath. The battle with the orcs had been long and hard. Though no elves had been killed, several had been wounded. He shook his head; the woods were getting more and more dangerous. King Thranduil would need to be told of this new intrusion.

A knot settled within Thorinell's stomach at the thought of seeing Lothgil. Biting his lip, he pulled out a sheet of paper and quill. He had found that it was necessary to always bring paper and quill along for any emergency.

"Naneth," He wrote.

"I will be back in a few days.

Your loving son,

Thorinell"

Signing it, folding and sealing it, Thorinell gave the parchment to a nearby elf with instructions to give it to his Naneth. He ordered all but two of them to go back to the settlement. Shaking his head, he pulled himself up on his horse, waited for the other two to do likewise. Hoping and praying that he and Lothgil would not see each other, he shook his head and kneed his horse toward the palace.

*~*~*

Miriwen held a shaking hand to her lips. She had known that many elven women did not get sick when during their pregnancy, yet she was fated with such ill luck. Because of her job, she had found that she could easily conceal the fact that she very rarely broke fast until tea approached.

Her stomach already formed a small, little, round bulge. Smiling, she gently caressed the tiny bulge. She had found that wearing a bit looser than normal dresses had help conceal her growing waist. But she was rather puzzled. She had examined several pregnancies before; and she seemed to be rather, well, larger than any other she had known.

She bit the inside of her lip, studying her stomach. It was so strange to think that a new life was growing within her.

"Hello little one." She whispered. "In about nine months I will be able to actually met you, but for now, you will remain my little one. Your Ada hasn't come home yet and doesn't know for sure." She sighed. "We wanted to make absolute sure that you were coming before we would tell anyone."

She chuckled. "Your Ada wanted to tell everyone right away." She shook her head smiling. "Your silly Ada."

She smiled again, but this time fighting back the tears. "Oh, but I miss him." She wiped away a stray tear. "My nights are lonely and cold."

A knock on her door roused her from her thoughts.

"Yes, come in." She hastily covered herself.

"Mir?" Lothgil's soft voice called from the doorway. "Can I talk to you?"

Miriwen smiled. "Of course, Lothgil, come in."

Lothgil sat down on the edge of the bed. Wordlessly she handed a parchment of paper out to her.

Frowning, Miriwen took it. "What's this?"

"A letter from Thorinell." Lothgil rushed. "I want you to read it and tell me if you think his heart is where my heart is."

Miriwen laughed softly, then leaned back and commenced to read it.

The few minutes it took for Miriwen to read it, seemed like hours to Lothgil. Once she was finished and had folded up, Lothgil was pacing back and forth. "What should I do?" Lothgil cried out. "Should I write back? What should I write? What if he's just writing it?" She wailed. "I don't know what to do!"

Hiding her smile, Miriwen stood up. "Now Lothgil, the best thing right now is to do as he wrote in the letter."

Lothgil quickly snatched the letter back, quickly reading it again, for the thousandth time. Her eyes rested, as usual, on the second to the last paragraph.

"The very moment I saw you, I knew that you were meant for me. The Valar handcrafted you for me. Your hands fit mine perfectly. You say your heart is mine. My heart is yours. But the reality of life is too harsh. I cannot rip you away from your family, Lothgil. No matter how much I love you. I love you heart and soul."

Lothgil sighed, her gaze dreamy. "How could I have ever doubted?"

Miriwen chuckled dryly. "I don't know."

Lothgil whirled around. "What should I do Mir?" She pleaded. "Should I write back to him?"

Miriwen shook her head. "No, not yet. I would first go to your Ada."

Lothgil's face fell. "What if he refuses?"

Miriwen laughed. "You are his little princess, you have him wrapped around you little pinkie. I doubt he will say no, especially when he reads Thorinell's letter."

Lothgil's face brightened. "You think so?"

Miriwen shook her head. "I know so." She gently pushed the younger elf toward the door. "Now, I have a long day tomorrow, and I don't doubt that you do as well."

Lothgil smiled. "Ok." She impulsively embraced the smaller elf. "Thanks Miriwen." She whispered, then quickly rushed out, holding the precious letter to her breast.

Miriwen laughed, then sobered and closing the door, let herself slid against it to the floor. How easily she remembered the first letter she had received from Thalion. She sighed, then with a soft smile, stood back up, and walked over to the closet. Kneeling next to a small hidden chest, she pulled out a key from a nearby drawer and slid the key in the lock. Twisting it, she unlocked it, and then opened the lid to reveal a large packet of letters. Pulling the knot out, she slid open the first letter in the packet.

"Dear Miriwen." She smiled and read on.

*~*~*

The winds howled eerily through the trees. Legolas shivered at the sound. He was supposed to be unconscious, but had decided when Galion had turned around to carefully spit out the liquid. He was rather sick of being unconscious, truth is told. He would rather be awake, despite the pain.

He knew very well that Galion was very worried about his leg. He wasn't allowed to see his own leg, which though it worried him, didn't really bother him. He was past caring anymore.

"You are awake."

Legolas turned at the sudden voice. It was Lomion. He tried to smile, but found that the lump in his throat wouldn't let him. He simply nodded.

"What is a matter?" Lomion asked softly.

"When 'he' took me to the into the tent, he gave me two choices." Legolas said softly. "He said that I could take all the pain away." His voice wavered. "He said that I could either tell them the location of the palace, or that I could rise to meet my end."

Lomion frowned. "What?"

"He gave me a knife, and said that that would be the easiest way out. Then he left me." Legolas voice cracked.

Lomion took a deep breath as he began to realize what mental torture had been worked on Legolas as well as physical.

"I put the blade to my wrist." Legolas whispered, closing his eyes. "I wanted to leave, I wanted to escape." A tear trickled down his cheek. "How can I ever deal with that? I almost took my own life." He turned tortured eyes upon his oldest brother. "I almost took my own life."