Chapter 19

The next evening at the feast, I was shown to a table set for two as far away from Finarfin as possible. I was not surprised when Celebrimbor sat down in the other chair, wearing a wry smile on his face.

"I suppose that since there are two of us disgraced ones, they may as well have a separate table for us."

I raised an eyebrow. "Where did you used to sit?"

"With those who would not speak to me of anything of consequence. Namely, those who Finarfin bribed to ignore me."

"Bribed?"

He chuckled and spread his napkin on his lap. "I am sure a few of them were, but most were not. After all, who can say what knowledge I gained from Sauron and what I gained from my own research?" He bitterly stabbed a potato with a fork. "Anyway, now I will have someone to talk to."

I grinned. "I think he's caused more trouble than he thinks. Yes, we may be separated from the rest of the family, but the two of us together? Half the people here will think we're plotting something."

"I know Celeborn will."

I rolled my eyes. "There are others, Finarfin when he sees that we aren't going to let our separation bother us."

Celebrimbor raised his wine glass in a toast. "The best revenge."

I lifted mine as well, took a sip, grimaced, and put it back down. I'd never liked dry wines. We spent the feast itself catching up from where we had left off in our previous conversation. Both of us skipped over certain things, knowing this was not the time to talk about them. When I caught Finarfin's eyes in the middle of it, I simply grinned and looked back at my nephew. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him pale and take a rather large gulp of his wine.

After the feast, Finarfin and his family, in order of rank, left the hall, proceed to the square to join in the large celebration taking place there. Both of us trailed behind, and we were quite happy to be there. We would attract the least amount of attention, and neither of us wanted to stared at.

I found a place by a low wall, next to a large planter. I leaned against it, putting my water glass on the wall next to my elbow, and listened to the music, none of which I had heard before. Celebrimbor settled on the edge of the planter and let me listen in silence. He watched the dancers, their brilliant outfits, encrusted with embroidery and gems, flashing in the light of the Fëanorian lamps scattered here and there, but with the light of Mindon high above all.

After a while, Celebrimbor excused himself. He finished his wine and placed the glass on a nearby table crowded with goblets. I watched him make his way through the edges of the crowd until he disappeared into the mass of people. I decided to return to the guest house. There was no need for me to be here. I made it halfway to the doorway of Finarfin's house, having chosen to take the quickest route, when I heard Celebrían call out my name. I sighed and turned around. I would give her one dance.

The words froze on my tongue when I saw who was standing next to her, wearing a replica- for I knew fabric could not last this long- of the dress she had worn to our first new year's celebration after our marriage, the dress that had been my favorite. The wine-colored fabric was shaped to her lithe torso, flaring out to a full skirt at her hips, hinting at more than could be politely revealed in public at a formal setting. The gold embroidery at the hem and neckline brought out the highlights in her blond hair. Her eyes… her eyes danced with suppressed laughter as she sauntered toward me. I whispered, "Narmincë."

I couldn't help myself- I rushed forward and drew her into my embrace, unsure if she would let me kiss her at this point. But she tilted her head slightly and gently pressed her lips to mine. I deepened the kiss, running my hands over the soft fabric covering her back and pulling her closer. She eventually stepped back and grabbed one of my hands, tugging me in the direction I had come from.

"So, where were you going?" she said, twitching her skirt out of the way of the planter when we reached where I had been standing earlier.

"The guesthouse. I saw no reason to stay here. Now I do." I studied her face, wondering how she'd take the next bit. "I'd still rather not be the focus of much attention, even to dance.

"Would you be willing to at least once?" she asked, keeping her face composed.

"Not with this music. I don't even know the steps. Otherwise, yes- just one."

She laughed. "The musicians will play traditional songs occasionally, especially on request. So, when would you like to do so?"

"You decide. I'm not going to approach the musicians- I'd rather not play or sing tonight."

Narmincë chuckled. "As if they will let you get away with dancing but not anything else. How about just before you need to let Tirn out for a bit? Elrond told me there aren't many servants working tonight."

"As my lady wishes," I said, taking one of her hands and kissed her hand.

True to her promise, she didn't pressure me to dance before then. Instead, we traded stories about our lives and experiences, though we avoided the heavier subjects. We constantly brushed against each other, reveling in being near each other once again. I lost my breath when she threw back her head and laughed, or when she turned, the light shining on her hair and skin. How could I have left her? But I didn't ask that aloud, for a celebration was no place to discuss regrets. Better that we remember the happier times. Eventually, though, she left for a few minutes to ask the musicians to play something I was able to dance to.

When she returned with a smile on her beautiful face, I led her near the area set aside for dancing, which was nearly the entire square, and waited until the set was over and the lead singer said that they had a request for one of the ancient Telerin dances. Most of the crowd shook their heads and I realized exactly what Narmincë had done.

I hissed in her ear, "Why?"

"Why not? It was one of your favorites."

I let her pull me onto the dance floor, spotting only a few other couples out of the corner of my eyes. This was not what I had in mind- I'd hoped for a dance where I would be safely anonymous in a crowd numbering hundreds, not one where the participants numbered less than fifty, all of whom were Noldor born before the Darkening. Just as I moved into position, I noticed Finarfin's stony face. Fine, if this annoyed him, I could live with being humiliated before the whole of Tirion.

The light strains of a Telerin flute rose above the crowds' murmuring, and the dance started. Narmincë and I slowly glided through the steps, picking up the pace when the music did. That was one of the reasons this had never been a truly popular dance save in some circles: few people had liked the exertion required. But it was flashy, and as I concentrated on keeping both of us from tripping, I realized I had missed this more than I had suspected. It had been far too long since I held her in my arms, moving in tandem with her.

When the dance was over, I escorted her out of the dance area, ignoring the expressions of disbelief and shock on most faces, though they were preferable to the looks of hatred I saw on some. Someone in the king's livery handed Narmincë and me glasses of water, which we desperately needed. He waited until we caught our breath and informed us that King Finarfin requested my presence. I glanced at Narmincë, who smirked and refused to leave my side until I reached him. I bowed as shallow as protocol allowed and waited with a raised eyebrow.

"Come to me after breakfast on the first of tuilë. I think we need to have another conversation."

I barely hid a smirk when I took my leave of the king, and headed off to the guesthouse with Narmincë on my arm. Tirn behaved impeccably with her, which I was silently thankful for. After only a few minutes, though, I put him back in my room and we returned to the celebration, something that until our reunion, I had not expected to do.

Of course, the instant we stepped into the courtyard, one of the musicians who had been playing earlier that evening accosted me.

"I'm not going to play or sing. This is the first evening I have had with my wife since I left Valinor. I would appreciate if you would inform those who wish for me to perform."

He nodded, a little pale, and disappeared into the crowd. I firmly kissed my wife, and led her back to our spot by the low wall. After several more hours of both talking and comfortable silences, we returned to my room, not to have sex, but to sleep. I wasn't ready for the former, but the latter… It was wonderful to have her next to me, pillowing her head on my left arm.

* * * * *

I knocked on Finarfin's study promptly after breakfast with Narmincë. He opened the door and ushered me in. Both guards- Glorfindel was spending the day with his wife and youngest daughter- waited outside. I sat down in the same seat as before without being ordered, breaking protocol, but I didn't care. My uncle said nothing, but simply sat behind his desk, folding his hands together.

"I fear that our argument the other day-"

I raised my eyebrows. "Argument? Finarfin, you insulted me and prejudged me. I had no reason to stay here."

"Then let us get one thing straight, Fëanorion: I blame you for the deaths of many. The Valar have forgiven you, but they have not pardoned you. I still say you are an unwilling thrall of Morgoth, bringing divisions once thought healed out in the open once more. However, the Valar have made it perfectly clear that you wish to be an ordinary citizen and that you do not want the power that you once held."

"I am a son of Fëanor, Finarfin. I was raised to lead, though that was put behind my musical studies. Father is no longer here to suggest my focus or my activities, and I choose to focus on my music. There is much I have to learn and much to teach. I meant it when I said I was not interested in politics, Uncle. My House is Dispossessed, and I am glad of it."

"Then I withhold my judgement. Do not disappoint me."

I half-smiled. "I have no plans to do something stupid. I rather like my freedoms."

Finarfin chortled for a couple seconds and then dismissed me. The guards and I returned to the guesthouse, where I spent the morning studying the two books of violin music in the library, my dog napping at my feet, and Narmincë reading at my side. She left the next day, having to return to her home and work, though she made it quite clear that she would visit me as often as possible. Two days later, Elrond's household rode out of Tirion, me mounted on Glorfindel's horse. I refused to look back at the city, having privately decided to never return unless I was ordered to. The memories were not worth it.