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My Heart Lies Where My Eyes Alight  by Eärillë

 Varda was humning idly to herself. Her mind was not intent on her singing. She was busy fitting the three small stars she had just created into a constellation of several other stars from the last batch. Afterwards, when she and her Maiar were not otherwise engaged in other activities, she would transport the new stars to their designated places somewhere in the universe with help from her faithful people. There the stars would be encouraged to grow into their proportional size, thus enlarging her collection in the vast regions of Eä.

 She was in her favourite ‘nook’ in her and Manwë’s mansion, Ilmarin; her workshop, her star seedbed. The space there was created to match that in Eä, empty of any substance. This little airless chamber was more secure than out there, though, befitting the general concept of a seedbed. There were no asteroids hurtling around or irritating gas clouds, for instance. Another advantage of this place was its close proximity to her other duties, which included working together with her fellow Valar and their Maiar to chaperone the younger Children of their Father

 Here she came when her days were idle or when she needed a break from the latter duties. Sometimes simply drinking in the view of her slowly-spinning-and-pulsating fist-sized, colourful young stars could balm her soul. Here she sang new stars into existence and gave them light. Here she was content with what she did, even though this tiny seedbed was pathetic compared to the much-larger one in the galaxy where Arda was located.

 There was no door leading inside the seedbed. For safety reason, the incarnate beings, Eru’s other Children, must not be tempted to enter. When she or her servants and helpers wished to come in, they simply thought themselves inside while in their true forms. It was the same when they were transporting the ‘ripe’ stars out to the ranges of Eä to be placed among their older brethren.

 The privacy of this place often attracted her, as did its silence and the simple beauty in it in the form of the little balls of light amidst the total darkness. Her Maiar seemed to think similarly. She never forbade any of the Ainur to enter, save when in dire situations or when she needed a time to be alone.

 There were times, too, when the seedbed became a place of family gathering…

 …Like now.

 `My lady, Lord Manwë and my triplet brothers are coming.` Ilmarë appeared suddenly beside her, bowing while she was announcing the news.

 Varda, her peace and contemplation disturbed, was miffed. But she instructed the chief Maia of hers to bid the four Ainur into the room anyway.

`Be ready, Ilmarë,` she said as an afterthought. `Many stars are to be transported to their proper places soon. When you hear my summons, come quickly. I would not like to linger on this particular task.` She paused, her aura shimmering in amusement, then added, `Or would you rather be here with your siblings?`

 `I have already promised Arien to see her before her vessel leaves the vicinity of this half of Arda, my lady.` The Maia, similarly amused, replied. But then she added, a little ruefully, `I trust the three of them to behave properly. If not, I would not think to go. They would not appreciate my presence here, anyway, since they are always complaining about my acting like a mother hen trailing after them all the time. Now, if you would excuse me, my lady? Evening is only some hours away and Arien would not speak to me for the next decade if I only spent a short while with her.`

 Varda nodded, chuckling. `Do not be too hard on your siblings, child,` she said gently. `And I suppose Arien would understand and accept the reason of your tardiness if you explained it to her. This feeling might stem from her loneliness only, not her own nature.`

 Shaking her head with the same rueful expression on her face, Ilmarë bowed again before departing. Varda was alone once more for the next some minutes.

 Then Manwë, being cheerful and rather excited as he had been in his youth in the Timeless Halls, came into the room, three Maiar trailing after him. Varda greeted her spouse by blending herself with him. The mixture of their auri was pleasing to the eyes.

`What do you wish to do here?` she asked afterwards, addressing him, although her attention was with the three Maiar.

 `A small holiday for me, Eönwë, Fiönwë and Lúnwë. Could we not hold it here?` Manwë asked back. A cheeky note was hinted in his light, loud voice which the Children usually associated with the winds.

 Varda snorted, but she accepted the obeisance offered by the three brothers with sincerity and grace. `What do you wish to do while you are here?` she queried. `What kind of holiday is it, in a small space full of darkness and young stars?`

 None of the triplets answered. The task fell to Manwë once again. `We would like to see you sing new stars and string them. It has been a long time since any of us witnessed your… performance.`

 `You are going to pay for your boldness, my lord,` the Queen of Stars growled in mock anger. Manwë’s aura brightened and turned into an indigo hue with amusement and playful challenge.

Out of the three Maiar, Lúnwë was the only one that seemed to take the false threat seriously. His aura dimmed with anguish and a slight fear.

 Sighing, Varda plucked said Maia from the safety of his place between his brothers and began to sing before anyone could remark on her unladylike gesture. Lúnwë was secure in her hold, unable to flee.

Gradually, the damaged Maia relaxed and grew more interested in the new star forming before him and his mistress. He even suggested timidly new colours for the other stars and what patterns they could be stringed into. Afterwards, all five of the Valar and Maiar happily put the three hundred new living balls of light into the suggested constellations, and all prior discontentment or uncertainty left their souls.





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