“Mother,” said Pearl, “we have a Situation.”

Eglantine looked up from her cup of tea. “Oh, really? And what sort of situation may that be?”

“It’s Pippin. He’s begun—”

“If you were going to finish your sentence with ‘to notice the lasses,’ let me assure you the situation is wholly under control. He’s had a good many talks with his father, and his older cousins on the matter, and it’s nothing to be concerned over.”

“It’s not the noticing I’m concerned about, Mother. It’s more of the flirting, and the fretting at the fact that he’s not actually allowed to do anything—especially since he knows lasses can court a full three years before lads can.”

“Hum,” said Eglantine. She knew full well the effects of a young Took lad’s charm. If Pippin was using it with abandon the consequences could be devastating. “Thank you for alerting me, Pearl.”

The next day she managed to contrive a private meeting between herself and her youngest child and only son.

“So,” she began, “how have you been doing, Pippin?”

Pippin immediately shot her a look of distrust, mingled with hurt. “If this is going to be another one of those long blushing talks, I’d rather not have it, especially not now.”

“Well, if we don’t want to have a nice chat I suppose we don’t have to. I was only going to ask you if there was anything you wanted to ask me about in private.”

Pippin mumbled something.

“Yes?”

Pippin looked up. “I’m sorry, Mum. It’s nothing that bears repeating.”

“I’d like to hear it anyway, if you please.”

“I said,” he said with a sigh, “that I thought there was nothing more embarrassing than talking about such things with your father.”

“I know,” said Eglantine. “That’s why I just thought I’d let you know that if there was anything you wanted to ask me—”

“There isn’t.”

“Well, good, then. Off you go.”

“Except—well—” He looked behind him, checking that the door was closed. “How is it for lasses? I guess I’d thought before that things would be more or less the same, but now…”

“I suppose you could say they’re the same, at least eventually, but it takes time to get there and lads and lasses take different paths. You’ve noticed,” she said, “the way a lass’s dress is cut, especially when she’s come out in the full bodice.”

Pippin blushed.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, dear. But most lasses don’t notice that sort of things in lads. It’s something smaller—the look in his eyes, the crook of his smile, the way he talks about certain things. Pippin, I must warn you: if you ever talk to a lass kindly and take a deep interest in her feelings, she might take that as a sign of interest in her. And I’m not so certain that you’re ready for that sort of thing.”

“Why not?”

“Tell me, Pippin, what do you think is the greatest expression of love between a lad and a lass?”

Pippin looked down at his toes. “I’d imagine—I imagine… well, it’s something I’d rather not talk to you about.”

Eglantine nodded. “That is a very great, and a very beautiful expression of love. But it’s not the greatest. Pippin, the greatest form of love is starting a new family with someone, creating new life and then raising it in a loving home. It takes lasses a little shorter time to realise that than lads, which is why they’re allowed to court before lads are. You shouldn’t start seeking any young lady’s affection until you’re willing to pursue it to its natural end.”

“That far?” Pippin grimaced.

“It’s all right,” said Eglantine. “You have plenty of time before you’re even allowed to do anything. Just remember that to a lass a casual smile could mean the world—especially coming from a dashing young hobbit such as yourself. I don’t want to have to deal with any cases of heartbreak because of you.”

“But… but no one’s even looked at me twice yet.”

“And that’s because you’re seeking their attention in entirely the wrong way. Lasses prefer someone who acts a little more grown-up than you currently do, Pippin. I know it’s all a little too much for you to take in at the moment, but it’ll all come in time.”

“Hmph,” said Pippin. “That’s what everyone’s been saying. I’m sick of waiting.”

“If you’d like to get a look ahead, I’m sure any number of mothers would let you mind their babies for them.”

“All right! All right! I see your point!”

Eglantine smiled. “Good lad. I’m not asking you to deny nature; just think a little bit over how things are for the lasses and I guarantee you’ll be five steps ahead of the rest when the time comes. Were there any other questions you had for me?”

“Yes, actually. What exactly are those rags used for?”

Eglantine raised her brows. Well, they weren’t called blushing talks for nothing, she supposed.