APRON: Ambiguities of a Lexical Kind

SUMMARY: When Aragorn and Legolas visit Gimli at Aglarond, they all receive a language lesson. Takes place early in the Fourth Age.

WARNING: Linguistic humor here.

****

"Mind the apron," Gimli said.

Legolas glanced around in confusion, looking for a piece of cloth with strings. Aragorn hid a smile at the Elf’s expression, saying nothing. "Why do you need an apron, Gimli?" the Prince of Ithilien-en-Edhil asked.

Gimli snorted good-naturedly as he pointed to a scree of gravel and sand spread before the entrance to Aglarond, the Glittering Caves, where Gimli and a small colony of Dwarves now dwelt.

"That’s called the apron, you daft elfling, where all that sand and gravel lie."

"Whatever for?" Legolas couldn’t help asking, in spite of the fact that he knew he was in for a terrible ribbing from Aragorn, never mind the Dwarf. "Aprons are what you put on over your clothes to protect them from harm. I don’t see why you would call this pile of dirt an apron."

Gimli scowled, though both Man and Elf could see a glitter of amusement deep in his eyes. "I don’t know why it’s called an apron, either, it just is. Why do you call yourself an Elf?"

Legolas raised a surprised eyebrow at the unexpected question. "Because that’s what I am."

Gimli nodded. "Just so. We call you ‘Elf’...."

"Among other things," Aragorn couldn’t help muttering and had the pleasure of seeing Legolas frown at him while Gimli chuckled.

"We call you ‘Elf’ because that is what you are," Gimli repeated. "We call this an apron because that is what it is."

"Why didn’t you call it something else?" Legolas insisted. "‘Apron’... that has too many domestic connotations."

"I didn’t decide to call it that, you pointy-eared menace," Gimli nearly shouted. "It’s what it’s always been called."

"Hmm...." Legolas said, his eyes darkening with mischief. "Elves began the making of words. I don’t recall any of the loremasters deciding to use ‘apron’ to indicate this," he said, pointing to the moraine.

Now Aragorn couldn’t resist entering into the discussion. "As if you were there in the beginning," he said with a sniff.

Legolas rewarded him with a cool, elvish stare. "I know those who were," was his only comment and both Aragorn and Gimli blanched at the implications of those words, giving each other uneasy looks. Suddenly, they saw their friend and long-time companion as something utterly other and both Man and Dwarf felt a frisson of awe course up their spines.

"Still," Aragorn said after a tense moment of silence, swallowing a bit nervously as he pushed certain thoughts to the back of his mind to examine later, "Elves are not the only people to create new words or new uses for words."

"Yet, unlike the Mortal races," Legolas retorted, "Elves use words precisely. Mortals, I notice, are rather lazy with their words, using ‘apron’, for instance, for more than one thing, neither having any bearing on the other, so far as I can tell."

"Oh? So tell me, Elf," Aragorn said with a wicked smile, "if my cousin Gilhael suddenly announces to the court ‘iAran gwann’ am I dead or have I simply left the room?"

Legolas gave him a smirk. "Knowing Gilhael as I do, he probably would mean both at the same time."

Aragorn laughed, conceding the point. "Well, how about this? If we’re in a cave," here he winked at Gimli, "and the Dwarf says ‘Mabo ylf’ does he want you to seize a torch or a goblet?"

Gimli snorted, "It’d better be a torch," he muttered, then his eyes twinkled with merriment, "so he can then hand me the goblet."

Legolas rolled his eyes while Gimli laughed. Aragorn just smiled. Then he resumed his ‘lesson’. "Or what if I were to travel to the Woodland Realm and told your father, ‘Éomer ’ar higil na lanc Legolas’. Is he holding a dagger at your throat or a necklace?"

"Oh, really Aragorn," Legolas protested.

But Aragorrn ignored him and turned to Gimli with a smirk. "Of course, one has to be careful how one says things in Sindarin," he said pedantically. "If I told Thranduil that ‘’Éomer ’ar higil na Legolas lanc’, it might leave him with the wrong impression."

"Estel!" the elven prince nearly screamed while Aragorn laughed.

Gimli, not getting the joke, gave them a put-upon expression. "Would either one of you care to enlighten me?"

"No!" Legolas shouted, glaring at the two Mortals.

Aragorn, ignoring the fuming Elf, leaned over and whispered into Gimli’s ear. The Dwarf’s expression was priceless as he stared at the Elf, who attempted to appear unaffected by it all... and failed miserably. The Adan straightened, giving the elven prince a cool stare of his own. "So, Legolas, will you admit that even Elves aren’t always precise in their language?"

For a moment Legolas stood there in high dudgeon, but at the insistent stares of his two closest friends, he finally sighed and gave them a terse nod. "But I still don’t understand why this area is called an apron," he said, sounding somewhat petulant, as if those who had decided on the word had done so just to irritate him.

"Ah, well," Gimli answered. "It’s because it’s like a blanket covering the ground the way an apron covers you."

"Hmmm...." Legolas replied, his brow furrowed in a frown, clearly unconvinced.

"Well, what would you call it, you fool of an Elf?" Gimli demanded in a huff, borrowing Gandalf’s favorite phrase for a certain young hobbit.

For a moment, the Elf didn’t answer, then a glimmer of mischief lit his eyes. "I’m inclined to call it ‘Gimli’s Blankie’."

"WHAT!?" the Dwarf roared in fury as Legolas leapt away with a laugh.

The Dwarves of Aglarond were soon treated to the sight of the elven Prince of Ithilien being chased about by their own lord — the Elf laughing and taunting, the Dwarf yelling and cursing — while the King of Men rolled on the ground in helpless laughter. They watched the shenanigans for a moment or two, then shrugged and went back to work, ignoring the three friends.

After all, it wasn’t anything they hadn’t seen before.

****

All words are Sindarin:

Ithilien-en-Edhil: Ithilien of the Elves, to differentiate Legolas’ demesne from Faramir’s.

Gwann: departed, dead: iAran gwann (The king is dead; The king has departed).

Ylf: drinking vessel, (fire)brand: Mabo ylf (Take/seize the drinking vessel/brand).

Sigil: dagger, necklace: Éomer ’ar higil na lanc Legolas (Éomer holds a dagger/necklace at Legolas’ throat).

Éomer ’ar higil na Legolas lanc: 'Éomer holds a dagger/necklace at a naked Legolas'.

Adan: Man.

Note: Apron:(Geology) An area covered by a blanket-like deposit of glacial, eolian, marine or alluvial sediments, especially at the foot of a mountain or in front of a glacier.