Healing Hope

Chapter Sixty-Two

You Are Not Alone

“Think where a man’s glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends.” William Butler Yeats

Helcar was waiting on the steps of the Last Homely House when the Maia's wagon rattled into view. He alerted Aradol to the approach of Mithrandir, and the Stable Master now came forward to take charge of the horse and cart.

“Welcome back, Mithrandir,” bowed Helcar. “Lord Elrond has asked me to bring you to him.

Mithrandir snorted. He was still prickly from the heated words he and Elrond had exchanged, and though the Maia was above anything so mundane as holding a grudge, he was not above nursing his ill humor for effect. “Is it too much to expect the Lord of Imladris meet me himself?”

Aradol held the reins and offered his other arm to the Grey Pilgrim as he dismounted from the cart.

“Thank you, Aradol,” grumbled Mithrandir, looking pointedly at Helcar. “It is nice to see that some of this house retain their courtesy.”

Aradol blushed, uncertain how to respond. He threw a quick look at Helcar as though relieved to pass the problem off to him, and quickly began leading the horse and cart towards the stables.

When Mithrandir saw that he was not going to get a rise out of Aradol, he decided to turn his attention to the Commander of Inner Defenses. He did so love to bait the young ones! “Do I not even rate a greeting from the Seneschal of the house?”

Helcar bristled at the insult to Imladris. “Imladris is, and ever has been, a sanctuary open to all, even the least appreciative.”

'Oh, this was proving fun,’ thought Mithrandir. His bushy eyebrows waggled, but he managed to keep his frown firmly in place. If Helcar had looked closely, however, he would have noticed the twinkle in Mithrandir’s eye.

Helcar hesitated. Dealing with a cantankerous wizard was not in his regular job description. Normally Lord Elrond, Erestor or Glorfindel would be here to greet guests. At the very least one of the twins would be available for the duty.

“Well?” blustered Mithrandir, interrupting the thoughts of the commander.

“Your pardon,” Helcar stammered. “Lord Elrond attends his elder twin in the Family Healing Rooms; I am to take you there.”

“What has happened,” Mithrandir frowned. “When I left here Elladan was on the mend?”

Helcar sighed. “Poison on the arrow that did not manifest itself immediately.”

“Show me to him…quickly now!” the Wizard urged, his cranky facade forgotten. Mithrandir truly held affection for all here, especially the sons of Elrond.

For a being that seemed, to the eye, to be an old man, Mithrandir moved exceptionally well. His steps never slowed or faltered as he followed the elf up the stairs at a less than formal pace. It was the kind of pace that would have elicited a rebuke from Erestor for “running in the hallways”.

Helcar paused outside the doorway to the healing rooms and motioned for the Maia to enter. His duty complete, he gratefully left the Mithrandir to his Lord.

Elrond and Sariboril were applying a poultice to Elladan’s shoulder when Mithrandir entered.

“Wait,” called the Maia. “Let me see the wound.”

Sariboril hesitated, looked at Elrond for approval, and then backed away to allow Mithrandir access.

Mithrandir stepped into Sariboril’s spot and closely examined the wound. It was still blistered looking even with the application of the poultices. The Maia cupped the side of Elladan’s face and closed his eyes, delving deeply into the twin’s being.

Sariboril and Elrond were absolutely still, watching and waiting for the Maia’s reaction. While Elrond kept his eyes fixed on Mithrandir, Sariboril took the opportunity to observe Elrond. The Elf Lord had barely left this room in days and the strain was beginning to show. She noted a certain dullness to his eyes and a tightening around his mouth that bore witness to his fatigue, mental strain and the lack of proper nutrition. In short, the Lord of Imladris – as usual she thought to herself – was not taking proper care of himself. Well, she allowed, this was his son after all, but always he put the care of others before himself.

“Sariboril?’

The healer’s reverie was broken as she noticed, with some embarrassment, that Lord Elrond and Mithrandir were staring at her with anticipation.

“Welcome back,” chuckled Mithrandir, his eyes dancing merrily as though he had read her thoughts.

The healer cleared her throat self consciously.

“I fear I have allowed our healer to overtax herself so soon after her own injuries,” interjected Elrond, smoothly allowing Sariboril to gather her thoughts.

“Yes,” drawled Mithrandir, still watching Sariboril with a keen eye, “perhaps so.”

“What of Elladan,” asked Sariboril, deflecting the Wizard’s attention away from herself.

“Ah yes, Elladan,” sighed Mithrandir, fixing his gaze on Elrond. “Your son is suffering from more than poison.”

Elrond and Sariboril both reacted as though cold water had been thrown into their faces.

“There was a spell on the arrow as well,” continued the Maia. “These orcs must have been sent by one of the Nazgûl...or worse.”

Sariboril was first to recover from the shock. “Úlairi...so close to the valley?” She visibly shuddered.

Elrond sat down on the edge of the rock-ing chair, his face grave, as he contemplated the ramifications of this information. “Whatever or whomever was being sought drew the attention of him whose name we do not speak.”

“Yes,” agreed the Maia. “which should eliminate any suspicion from Saruman.”

“Mithrandir, I will not repeat our last conversation,” warned Elrond. Elladan was still gravely injured, and the Elf Lord was in no mood to reiterate the same old argument.

“Yes, yes, I know,” agreed Mithrandir, waving his hand in dismissal.

“Then you did keep your word?” prodded the Elf Lord.

“When have I not?” thundered Mithrandir, the very air around him growing dark with his displeasure.

A wry smile touched Elrond’s lips. “I have known you too long to be intimidated.”

Mithrandir’s ire seemed to dissipate immediately. “Ah, so you have,” he sighed. “I see I shall have to find Helcar and ruffle his feathers if I am to have any entertainment here this eve.”

Elrond smiled tiredly. “I must ask you not to further antagonize my Commander; he is carrying a double load until Glorfindel returns from Mithlond.”

Mithrandir seemed to be puzzled for a moment and then brightened. “Would the esteemed Slayer of Balrogs be arriving with the aid of my old friend, the Wind Lord?”

“Yes,” answered Elrond, “as a matter of fact he is.”

“Then I suggest that we go downstairs to meet them, for I hear Lord Gwaihir’s approach.”

O-o-O-o-O

Beling sat up, yawned, and stretched himself awake. He jumped to his feet when he realized that the first nebulous twinge of light was infusing the eastern sky. He should have been on watch! The guard quickly scanned the camp site. All appeared normal and quiet. Assured that the rest of their party was safe, he walked over to sit on a rock beside Elrohir. “You did not wake me.”

“I could not rest,” Elrohir answered, without pulling his eyes from the heavens. “There was no need for both of us to be awake.” He continued looking up, and Beling followed his gaze. The stars were still twinkling, not yet masked by the dawn. “I was talking to my daeradar,” whispered the twin, still gazing at Eärendil’s light.

Beling nodded and gave Elrohir’s shoulder a quick squeeze. It was not much, but he wanted the twin to feel his support.

Elrohir did feel that touch and turned to Beling with tearful eyes. “I feel so alone.”

“You are not alone,’ declared Beling.

“No, you are not,” confirmed Erestor, sitting down on the other side of Elrohir. The Seneschal had been awake for some time watching over the twin as he struggled with his thoughts, but now that Beling was up, Erestor decided that he, too, would join the twin to lend his support.

Elrohir looked at him with all the vulnerability of an elfling reflected in his expressive eyes. “Do you think he heard?”

Erestor smiled softly. “Eärendil shines on you every night, Elrohir.”

“If he loves us so much then why did he leave Ada and Uncle Elros?” Elrohir asked, sadly shaking his head.

“You know why, young one,” admonished Erestor gently.

Elrohir sighed, embarrassed and ashamed to have spoken thus. “Please do not tell Ada I asked that question.”

Erestor put his arm around Elrohir’s shoulder and pulled the twin’s head against this shoulder. “It will remain our secret.” The Seneschal caught Beling’s eye and nodded back towards the camp.

Beling recognized the request for privacy and nodded. “I will begin preparations for travel.”

When they were alone Erestor began to speak softly to the younger twin. “It is at times like this, when we are most under stress that we question the foundations of our lives. When I came to the valley I was broken and in need. I had seen so many horrors during the war that I believed myself immune to any more. My heart had become a stone within my chest, and I wondered at times if I had the right to even remain on Arda, so much death had I wrought.”

“But they were orcs,” countered Elrohir, genuinely puzzled.

The Seneschal smiled and nodded his head. “I know it is bewildering. It took me millennia to understand my own feelings. When Eru Ilúvatar created us, we were each endowed with different gifts and strengths. It is within each of us to rise to our full potential or even to choose a path away from what we were truly intended to be. I chose to be a warrior, to perfect the craft of warfare, from hatred and fear, not just from need.

Elrohir started to question again, but Erestor anticipated him. “Before you ask, no, it is not wrong to be a warrior. How could it be when they protect us and many times offer their lives as forfeit for us? But it was not the path for which I was intended, and that is why I could never find peace while on it.”

Erestor paused for several moments, and Elrohir began to wonder whether or not the Seneschal would continue. They sat together watching the stars for several more moments until Erestor once again began to talk.

“During the siege I watched your father day in and day out holding us all together while he fought to forge the valley as a refuge, and I admired him more than anyone before or since. He gave me hope when I had lost all…when I doubted everything. During the darkest days, the hall of fire was full of the dead and dying...so much so that I began to feel choked by it. But in the midst of it all a miracle happened…the first elfling was born in Imladris.”

Elrohir listened in fascination, for never had Erestor spoken to the twins of his earliest days in Imladris.

Erestor continued, lost in the memory. “The elfling’s father was dead, lost in the fight to hold our valley, and Elrond asked for me to be the one to aid the new life into the world.” The Seneschal smiled wistfully at the memory. “Until the day you and your brother were born, I had never seen anything more wondrous. When I held that tiny, newborn life in my hands I felt as though I had been reborn as well, and I knew that my destiny lay beside your father in the valley of sanctuary...in helping others to find the peace I had been granted.”

“Do I know him?” asked Elrohir, enchanted by the Erestor’s words.

“Yes,” nodded Erestor. “It is Helcar.”

Elrohir thought about how Helcar was raised without a father or siblings, and yet he was one of the happiest elves he knew. “Though I am sad that she is gone, I was blessed to have had my mother for the many years that I did. Is that what you wish me to understand?”

Erestor smiled. “It is a good start, but more than that, I tell you all these things so that you will understand that doubts are not what harm us. It is the loss of hope to steals away our peace. You must hold on to hope, Elrohir. Elladan shall be cured and we shall bear Estel back to where he belongs.”

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” Elrohir said after a moment. “I would wish that one day I will inspire such loyalty as Ada does.”

Erestor elegantly arched an eyebrow, much like the Lord in question. “Who is to say that you have not?”

His moment of doubt passed, Elrohir squared his shoulders and straightened up, once more the seasoned warrior. “Let us be off…I have a little brother to bring home!”

TBC