Healing Hope

Chapter 26

Such Sweet Sorrow

“I often find myself thinking about the good times we’ve spent together…and it always gives me a happy feeling.  Because no matter how long we’re apart, or how far away you are, a very special part of you goes with me everywhere…So, instead of feeling sad about being apart, I’ll say I’m thinking of you and holding you in my heart where you belong.”  Ellen Brennaman

Elrond allowed the storm of protest to continue for some moments before raising his hands for quiet.  When the dissent did not die down, he silenced the gathering with a freezing look of disapproval. Even Glorfindel’s normally enigmatic countenance betrayed astonishment verging on awe.  “I have not made this decision lightly, but I have made it.”

There, he thought to himself, I have made myself clear to them.  This proved to be a somewhat optimistic assessment.  The chastened elves remained subdued for only a moment before the dam burst once more.

“But Ada, he’s never been away from home,” implored Elrohir.

“What if he has another night terror?” appealed Elladan.

“I would protect him with my life,” vowed Glorfindel.

Erestor looked downright pitiful.  “He will miss us!”  

Elrond listened to one and all, his heart echoing their pleas.  His soft grey eyes were warm with affection.  “I am not unsympathetic to your fears, but I believe I am acting in Estel’s best interest.” 

Erestor’s brow knotted as his mind raced. “A growing edain has specific nutritional requirements. They won’t know what to feed him!”  The seneschal was all but wringing his hands.  “I must prepare enough food to last him the entire …” he broke off, his questioning gaze seeking Elrond’s.  “How long will he be gone from us?”  He suddenly paled as a horrible thought struck him.  “What if he gets sick?”

At another time Elrond would have found humor in Erestor’s desperation, but as it was, his own heart was too careworn to find humor in anything just now.  He took a deep breath.  “Calm yourself, Erestor.  You and Sariboril are going with Estel.” 

Elrond stopped once more as the expected storm of objections broke upon his shoulders like a tempest driven tide breaks upon the shore.

“Ada, I am well enough to go with Estel,” claimed Elrohir, sitting up too quickly and promptly becoming so dizzy that he had to seek his pillow.  He was unable to stifle the slight groan the action elicited.

“I should be the one to protect Estel,” protested Glorfindel.  “After all, it is my failure that has allowed this impossible scenario to be necessary.”

“No, Glorfindel,” objected Elladan, “this is not your fault.  And besides, I am Estel’s eldest brother. I should be with him.” 

The twin was attempting to swing his legs out of the bed as Elrond’s hand landed firmly on his shoulder.   “Elladan, you will not leave that bed!  Enough of this!”

The elf lord’s patience had clearly reached its limits.  The others were still too shocked by the thought of Estel leaving to see the toll the decision was taking on Elrond.  “Erestor, make haste.  You must be well away by the west passage before Mithrandir approaches the Bruinen.”

Wide eyed, Erestor immediately started towards the door, murmuring to himself the entire way. “I will see that Estel’s things are packed as well.”

“The west passage, you say…”  Glorfindel’s attention was certainly gained by that pronouncement.

“Mithrandir?” questioned the twins as one.

“Yes, my friend, the west passage,” Elrond answered, turning first to Glorfindel.  “Since all of Thranduil’s warriors will not have had time to return from their guard duties, I would like for you and a company of riders to escort the Mirkwood contingent past the borders. I would have them well protected from any unseen enemy that might be lurking.”

“I will make preparations,” Glorfindel immediately responded, relieved to have some action he could take.  The mystery of the past few days was taking a toll on all of them as they grappled with the few facts they had concerning this new and unknown threat.

Now that he was alone with his sons, Elrond found himself very fatigued.  Picking up the green blanket, he sat down in Estel’s specially made rock-ing chair and found his heart seared anew as he breathed in the scent of his youngest still present in the soft cloth.  Forcing down his feelings, for much still remained to be done, Elrond graced his son’s with a tender look.  He turned from one son to the other.

“Elrohir, how is your head?”  He stood up and placed the palm of his hand against the scratched cheek, gauging for himself the amount of pain within Elrohir’s head.  “You should not have tried to rise,” he scolded gently.  He surrounded his son’s feä with his own, imparting healing and strength to the younger twin.  He would have preferred to send them both into a restful sleep but he knew that their hearts desired answers.

“Elladan,” he said, turning towards the troubled older twin.  “You must remain in bed with your shoulder immobile.  There was much damage done internally and undue movement will only delay your recovery.”  Again, he placed his palm to the side of a son’s cheek, sending as much comfort as he could, accepting into himself the myriad of conflicting emotions boiling within his oldest.

Elladan relaxed under the touch of his father, content for just a brief moment, to lay aside the worries and pains of the last few days and relish the feelings of love and comfort washing over him.  Quick hot tears burned his eyes, and he felt like an elfling who wanted only to run to his father and have it all made better.  Sensing the struggle within his son, Elrond withdrew his feä and bestowed a kiss to Elladan’s forehead before sitting back down in the rocker.

Giving his oldest time to recover himself, Elrond turned the rocker so that he could see both twins at once.  Elrohir shivered slightly, bringing a frown to the elf lord’s face.  He rose gracefully and tucked Estel’s blanket around the twin’s shoulders.  “After we have spoken, I will prepare tea for you both.”

For once, neither twin pretended to gag at the thought of their Ada’s tea, which would be liberally laced with a sleeping herb.  Elrohir’s large grey eyes blinked questioningly.  “Ada?  You said Mithrandir was coming?”

Elrond sat down and rocked for a moment, nodding his head - seemingly lost in thought.  Finally he roused himself.  “Mithrandir will be here before nightfall.” 

Neither twin said a word, but Elrond could easily sense their confusion, and he could not blame them.  Mithrandir was always received as an honored and welcomed guest at Imladris.  Bearer of Narya, the Ring of Fire, the beloved Maia was ever a friend and ally to the Eldar.  How could Elrond explain something that he himself did not fully understand? 

The silence grew tense as the twins eyes met.  They were beginning to see the strain etched in their father’s face.  Elrohir spoke first.

“There is no need to explain, Ada.”

“We failed to protect the valley, and Estel will be safer in Mirkwood,” choked Elladan.

Elrond smiled gently at his sons…Elrohir the peacemaker and Elladan the protector.  “Estel is not leaving because of any failure of yours or of Glorfindel’s,” he said firmly.  “Until I better understand this new threat, I feel it best to have Estel away.  For many lives of men we have protected and succored the line of kings in Imladris,” he finished, almost to himself.

“Estel is more than just a king,” whispered Elladan.

“Yes, he is,” responded Elrond.  “He is my son in every sense of the word.”

Elrohir looked from one to the other.  Concern marred his countenance. “Is it because Mithrandir has not been here since before Estel was born?” asked Elrohir.

Elrond hesitated.  “The timing of Mithrandir’s visit did raise a question in my mind, I will admit.  Coming, as it does, just after the realization that our enemy is being aided by a wizard’s power, it seems only prudent to remove Estel until I know for sure that this is truly Mithrandir and that he has not fallen into darkness.”

The twins were clearly shocked.

“Could Mithrandir be seduced by the evil one?” asked Elrohir incredulously.

Realizing how ridiculous it must sound, Elrond could only shake his head.  “It is not something that I have foreseen,” he said simply.  Yet some doubt lingered in his mind…a shadow that would not be dispelled.  He had to speak directly with Mithrandir himself to be sure.

O-o-O-o-O

 In King Thranduil’s sitting room, one floor below the healing room, Estel sat with the king and Legolas.   Cook had sent up tea, milk, strawberries and the delicate seed cakes of which Estel was so fond for the trio to share.  While Estel munched contentedly, Thranduil met his son’s eyes.

Legolas cleared his throat slightly.  “Estel, how would you like to come to Mirkwood with me?  I can show you many wonderful things in our home.”

Estel stopped chewing, not sure he had heard correctly.  Go to Mirkwood with Legolas?  It sounded like a great adventure. 

Legolas could have kicked himself.  Surely he was going about this all wrong, but he simply lacked experience with one so young.  He could not know that Estel was beside himself with excitement at the prospect of going on a real trip like his brothers.  “You would have a very good time with us, Estel,” he said hesitantly.

Estel beamed, his eyes dancing with excitement.  “I can really come…all the way to Mirkwood?  Where is Mirkwood?  Is it out of the valley?”

“It is across the mountains, young one,” said Thranduil gently.

Estel’s mouth hung open for a moment.  He had never even been out of the valley that he could remember and here he was about to go ‘across the mountains,’ wherever that was.

“Close your mouth, young one, or you might find it home to an insect,” chuckled Thranduil.

Estel quickly closed his mouth and gulped and then giggled his excitement.  “When are we going?”

“Immediately,” responded Legolas, relieved to see the child excited. 

A soft knock on the door interrupted further conversation. 

“Enter,” said Thranduil, and Erestor came into the room.  “All preparations are complete, my lord, with the exception of your things in this room.”

“Restor,” Estel exclaimed.  “We’re going to Mirkwood!” 

“I know, tithen pen,” smiled the seneschal.  “I have packed all your things.  Now we must hurry to get you changed and ready.”

A short while later all were gathered in the front hallway.  Emitting little yelps of excitement like a dog nosing out a rabbit burrow, Estel was practically dancing with anticipation as Elrond descended the stairs.  Seeing his Ada coming down the stairs in his robes brought Estel to a halt.   In his exhilaration over the proposed trip, he had not even considered that his Ada would not be coming with him. He began to realize that his brothers must surely be unable to accompany them as well.  His face fell as anxiety gripped his heart and suddenly this “adventure” did not seem quite so enticing.

Elrond, of course, noticed the change in his son’s demeanor.  Steeling himself to soothe and encourage the child, he smiled softly into the overly large, solemn eyes now looking at him.

“Ada,” Estel hesitated. “Are you not coming with me?” 

“I cannot accompany you on this adventure, Estel.”  Elrond kneeled by the boy, ostensibly straightening his travel jacket, but in reality allowing himself the joy of a few tactile moments with his youngest. “However Erestor and Sariboril are coming with you.  You will have many wonderful stories to tell us when you return.”  He continued to fuss over Estel’s clothes and hair until the boy began to squirm, as the elf lord knew he would and had counted on.  Estel hated being fussed over and this distracted him from his welling emotions, at least momentarily.

“Can I say good bye to Dan and Ro?”  A slight quiver shook his voice.

Elrond rose and took Estel’s hand.  “We must hurry, but yes, you may certainly say goodbye to your brothers.”

In the healing room on the third floor the atmosphere was somber.  Glorfindel would have said it was downright morbid as the twins lay waiting for Estel’s goodbye.  Elrond had warned them to be upbeat so as not to make the child’s departure any harder on him than it was likely to be once the fact that his father and brothers would not be with him became reality.

Legolas had already been up to assure the twins that he would remain with Estel at all times.  He had received long and detailed instructions from them on everything from Estel’s favorite games to the bedtime ritual they had with him.  Legolas would have laughed at the over-protectiveness of the pair had they not looked so pitiful. 

As Estel and Elrond entered the room, both twins forced bright smiles.  Elrond held his son’s hand a bit tighter when the child would have let loose and thrown himself into the arms of the nearest twin, in this case Elrohir.  “Remember you must be gentle, Estel.  The twins are still injured,” Elrond admonished softly.

Estel nodded gravely.  When Elrond released his hand, Estel walked slowly over to Elrohir’s bed.

“Here, pen-nîn tithen,” said Elrohir, holding out the yellow blanket, “you may need your sunshine blankey.”

Estel shook his head and eased the blanket back onto Elrohir’s chest.  “No Ro, you keep it.  It will keep you warm while I’m gone.”

“Thank you, Estel,” Elrohir managed to say.  “I will keep it with me until you return.”

Estel smiled sadly at Elrohir and then walked around his bed to reach Elladan’s.  Elladan held out the stuffed Fluffy.  “Surely you will want Fluffy to sleep with while you are away.”

Again, Estel shook his head.  “No Dan, Flu-luh-fee will sleep with you and keep you company while I’m gone.”

Elladan couldn’t take much more.  With his good arm he pulled Estel into a hug.  “Good bye, little love!”   The twin kissed the soft curls and hurriedly blinked back the tears threatening to fall.  Forcing himself to let go, he manipulated a lightness into his voice.  “You must remember everything you see and do, for El and I will want to hear it all.”

Estel smiled.  “I will.”  He brightened slightly as a thought came into his mind.   “Legolas said that they have giant spiders in Mirkwood.  Do you want me to catch one for you?”

“No!”  The room echoed as the three elves answered at once.

When he was able to gather his aplomb, Elrond cleared his throat.  “Come Estel, your brothers have some of my special tea to drink, and it is time for you to be away.”

“Have fun, Estel,” Elrohir smiled.

“Promise me you won’t go near any spiders,” Elladan called.

“I won’t” said Estel, as Elrond was leading him towards the door.  His little hand grabbed the door jam as they went out and his head popped back into the doorway.  “I love you!”

The twins lay there staring at the empty door for some moments before Elrohir turned back to Elladan.  “Have you noticed that Estel never trips over Legolas’ name?”

Elladan frowned.  “I think I’m going to kill that elf.”

Elrohir smiled to himself.  At least he still knew how to get under El’s skin.  “Don’t worry brother.  Legolas could never replace you in Estel’s affections.”

“Hrumph,” was the unintelligible sound from Elladan’s bed.  After a few moments Elladan looked over at Elrohir.  “Or you either, El.”

“Drink you tea, El.”

“I will if you will,” Elladan responded.  “At least when we’re asleep we won’t feel like this.”

Downstairs the troop was mounted and ready when Elrond led Estel outside. The afternoon shadows were reaching from the mountains towards them with lazy fingers. Thranduil, Legolas, and Erestor all offered Estel a hand up, and then eyed each other warily.  Elrond cleared his throat and moved towards Erestor.  Estel would better weather the immediate separation in the arms of one he already considered family. 

After lifting Estel to sit in front of Erestor, Elrond held his hand on the boy’s leg.  “By the time you come home, you will have been able to remove the cast.  Sariboril will tell you when the time has come.”  He paused, unconsciously delaying the dreaded parting.  “Have a wonderful time Estel, and be a good boy for me.”

“I will, Ada.”  Estel’s red rimmed eyes blinked furiously as he tried to be his Ada’s big boy.

Understanding and sharing the difficulty of the moment, Glorfindel took matters into his own hands.  “Come, Estel, ride Asfaloth for a while.”  Before Erestor could protest, Glorfindel had ridden up, swept the child into his lap, and kept going.  Better to make the break quickly and cleanly he figured.  The situation was hard enough for Estel and Elrond without prolonging the moment.  The golden elf laughed when he heard Erestor sputtering his indignation.  The merry tinkling of the bells on Asfaloth’s bridle also lightened the child’s mood.  Glorfindel could hear the rest of the troop fall into formation behind him.

When Estel tried to look back at his Ada, Glorfindel tightened his hold and prevented the motion.      The golden warrior had made the mistake of glancing back, and the look of naked misery on Elrond’s face had nearly been his undoing.  “No, little one, a warrior never looks back.”

 TBC