47: The Will of the Valar

Glorfindel and Ingwion woke the next morning, both feeling refreshed. Námo was not there to greet them but one of the Maiar serving him offered to show them the way out once they had dressed and broken their fast. Glorfindel’s fear that they would have to walk another spiral to leave proved groundless when the Maia showed them to a plain wooden door that led down a set of stairs on the west side of the mansion. Glorfindel stopped at the top of the stairs and stared over the high walls surrounding Námo’s residence to where the Ezellohar and the Máhanaxar stood beyond the western gate of Valmar.

"Many visitors to Valmar take the opportunity to visit the Trees and the Ring of Doom," the Maia said, pretending not to notice how white Glorfindel suddenly looked.

Ingwion, however, took Glorfindel by the shoulders and turned him away from the sight, his expression one of gentle concern. "I know the others will want to go there, but you do not have to, otornya. We will go and visit Lord Ulmo as he requested instead."

Glorfindel glanced at the Maia, a questioning look on his face. The Maia, in turn, merely nodded. "No one will force you to go there, child. Indeed, I think I can safely say that Lord Námo would strongly counsel against it in your present state." The Maia suddenly smiled and a small chuckle escaped his lips.

"What?" Glorfindel asked, struggling not to smile in turn, for the sound of the Maia’s laughter was infectious.

"Only that when my Lord Námo said as much to me earlier he sighed and opined that you would consider such advice as an open invitation to do just the opposite."

Now Ingwion sniggered and Glorfindel laughed outright. "And my Lord Námo would be correct, but not, I think, today. Today, I just want to enjoy myself."

"Then that is what you should do," the Maia said approvingly. "Come, your companions are waiting for you."

With that they went down the stairs and found themselves in a small rose garden. The Maia led them along a series of paths that took them to the front of the mansion and out the main gate to where Alassiel, Elessairon and Lómion were waiting.

"The others have decided to remain in Eldamas this morning, so it’s just us," Alassiel explained.

Glorfindel and Ingwion gave the Maia a respectful farewell, then the five of them wandered up the avenue towards the Mindon Nyellion where they sat on the edge of the fountain and watched the play of water and listened to the gentle tolling of the bells.

"What do you want to do?" Lómion finally asked. "We spent yesterday wandering the city and seeing what there is to see, but neither of you had that opportunity. We do not mind joining you if you want to explore Valmar or Eldamas."

Ingwion shrugged. "I have been here many times, but I know Glorfindel has not, so it is for him to say."

"Thanks," Glorfindel said with a quirk of an eyebrow, then he shook his head. "I have no specific plans. I would just like to wander and visit the gardens and such."

"We didn’t go out to the Ezellohar, yet," Alassiel said.

Ingwion scowled slightly at the elleth’s words and everyone saw Glorfindel pale. Alassiel looked at them in confusion.

"But everyone wants to see the Trees," she said plaintively.

"I do not need to see the Trees, child," Glorfindel said quietly, feeling suddenly old. "I remember the mingling of their Lights." He sighed and the younger Noldor gave him looks that bordered on awe.

For all that he seemed younger than they in many respects, they were suddenly reminded that this was an elf who had witnessed the Darkening of Valinor and had joined in the Rebellion against the Valar. Elessairon found himself staring at the gems glittering in Glorfindel’s braids and began to realize just what the ellon had meant about their cost. He shivered slightly at the thought and noticed that Ingwion seemed unaffected by Glorfindel’s words. Belatedly he realized that the prince was even older than Glorfindel.

"Then we need not go there," Elessairon said decisively. "There will be other opportunities. For now, let us just wander and enjoy ourselves."

So that is what they did. Ingwion told them that he and Glorfindel were expected at Ulmo’s mansion in the afternoon and Lómion suggested that they have lunch at the inn so Ingwion and Glorfindel could freshen up for their meeting with the Lord of Waters. In the meantime, the five friends wandered up and down the avenue admiring the various mansions and gardens. All the gates were open and they were encouraged by the few Maiar they saw to visit any and all of them to their hearts’ content.

Each of the mansions was different in architecture and design, reflecting the personality of their owners. Tulkas’ mansion was many-storied and a great courtyard in front was used for physical contests. Oromë’s was low and surrounded by great trees that supported the roof of the building. Ingwion informed them that beyond Aulë’s mansion, bordering the plain, was a great court which held some of each of the trees of Arda.

Eventually, they made their way back to the North Road and wended their way through the narrow side streets to the inn where they met the others and enjoyed a quiet meal before Glorfindel and Ingwion excused themselves to get ready for their meeting with Lord Ulmo.

Glorfindel fished out his second best tunic from the wardrobe, a blue-green brocade with wide sleeves and trimmed with red fox fur under which he wore a shirt of heavy muslin dyed a royal blue. His breeches were made of fine wool also dyed a royal blue. The only jewelry he wore was the sword pendant and the peridot ring. He tucked the beryl in its bag under his clothes. His new knife he left behind, knowing that to go so armed before one of the Powers was not considered polite. He decided not to wear anything on his head, but stopped before the mirror to check that his hair was still properly braided before joining Ingwion in the common room.

This time, there was no escort for them and they simply made their own way to Ulmo’s residence. The front gate was a single carved marilla and when they entered the courtyard they saw that the mansion, smaller than many of the others, sat in the middle of a lake. Its foundation was made of nenairë and was submerged in the crystal blue water. They could not see any way to cross over to the mansion until they came closer and discovered that a causeway of half-submerged stepping stones led to the front portico.

With a shrug Glorfindel stepped lightly upon what appeared to be the cast-off shells of giant sea turtles. It was necessary to cross carefully, but Glorfindel had no fear of slipping and soon he and Ingwion were walking up the pearlescent steps to the front entrance carved from living sea rock. A Maia stood in the entrance, obviously expecting them. He bowed.

"Greetings, Prince Ingwion, Lord Glorfindel. I am Salmar of the People of Ulmo and bid you welcome to my Master’s abode. He is expecting you. Please, come this way."

The Maia turned and the two elves followed him through a number of small courtyards each with its own fountain, no two the same in shape or size. Salmar eventually brought them to one such courtyard where a fountain in the shape of dolphins graced the center of the court. Ulmo was waiting for them there, looking much the same as he had appeared the previous day. He smiled as Salmar ushered them into his presence.

"Thank you Salmar," Ulmo said to the Maia. "See that none disturb us." Salmar bowed and left. Ulmo gestured to the elves and they joined him by the fountain where they saw some chairs were set around a table laden with fruit and drinks. "Come, sit and we will talk."

They sat and Ulmo took a moment to pour them some drinks which turned out to be a mild fruit beverage reminiscent of pears. It went down smoothly and quenched their thirst. As they sipped their drink, Ulmo spoke.

"My brother Valar have other concerns that require their attention, so I agreed to speak to you about your thoughts concerning how we may help ease the tension between the Reborn and the... Once-born."

The Vala gave Glorfindel an amused look and the ellon blushed. Ingwion looked at him in surprise. "Is that what you call us?"

Ulmo, however, answered. "An apt enough description, young prince. It is not meant as an insult... well, at least, not all of the time." Ulmo gave a short laugh and Glorfindel blushed even further, though he did not contradict the Vala.

Ingwion gave Glorfindel an appraising look and nodded, turning to Ulmo. "You were saying, my lord?"

"We are aware of the resentment many of the Amaneldi have towards those whom they see as having rebelled against us and are therefore not deserving of our forgiveness." Ulmo’s expression was grave and there was no levity in his eyes. "We Valar will not, indeed cannot, interfere with what happens between the various factions of elves. That is something you will have to work out for yourselves. We will, however, lend whatever aid and advice you may seek from us, save for direct intervention."

"Why?" Glorfindel suddenly asked.

"A fair enough question," Ulmo said. He looked at the two ellyn sitting before him and his face became graver. "To be blunt, Aman and her people were raped."

The two elves sucked in their breaths at that but did not interrupt.

Ulmo nodded at their reaction. "Yes, raped. A nasty word, but appropriate. Melkor raped us and then Fëanáro...." He shook his head, as if to clear it of such dark thoughts. "At any rate, the healing has been slow and painful. We Valar have done what we could to heal the wounds but much work needs to be done among the Eldar. They must want healing for healing to occur."

"And some there are who prefer to suffer an open sore spilling out the pus of their anger upon their fellow elves than to seek healing," Glorfindel remarked without emotion, as if speaking of the weather.

"Yes," was Ulmo’s only comment.

For a time none moved or spoke. Ingwion pondered the Vala’s words. His initial reaction to Glorfindel had been less than sterling and he regretted it, for he found much to admire in the Reborn Noldo and welcomed him as a friend. He understood better than most of the Amaneldi what the rebellion had cost them all and agreed with Ulmo about the need for healing. He was at a loss, though, to know what any of them could do about it.

"Why have none of the Vanyar been released from Mandos?" Glorfindel asked, breaking the silence that had come between them.

"For that, child," Ulmo said, his sea-green eyes becoming a darker shade of purple-green, reminding the elves of a storm gathering upon the ocean, "you will have to ask my brother Vala. Lord Námo has the care of the Dead and only he can answer your question. I will say this, though: nothing is as it seems and all is done in accordance with the Indómë Eruva."

"Valar valuvar," Glorfindel muttered.

Ulmo smiled thinly. "Only in so far as our rule conforms to the Will of Eru, Glorfindel. As are you, we Valar are free to make our own decisions, but always we strive to make them in light of Eru’s Will for Arda. We do not always succeed, but we never stop trying."

"I think the greatest resentment lies among the Vanyar," Ingwion commented. Ulmo nodded in encouragement.

"They do not understand why Rebel Noldor are being released before their own people who remained loyal to the Valar," Ingwion continued.

"Many of the Noldor who remained behind wonder as well," Glorfindel added. "Only the Teleri do not seem overly upset by any of it."

"Most of their people have already been released, though admittedly not all," Ingwion opined.

"Is there a pattern?" Glorfindel asked the Vanya, almost forgetting Ulmo’s presence, much to the Vala’s amusement.

Ingwion shrugged. "If there is, I don’t see it."

Glorfindel shook his head and sighed, closing his eyes. His tone, when he spoke, was bitter. "I do not see what we can do to alter people’s opinions. I cannot speak for others, but personally, I’m tired of apologizing for my life, for either life. I did what I did, no less than they, and suffered the consequences, no less than they. If they have a complaint, they are looking at the wrong person. They should be importuning Lord Námo, not me. I didn’t decide that I would die as I did and I didn’t decide that I would be Reborn when I was, either."

Ulmo put a hand on Glorfindel’s arm. "Sérë, hinya. Á lery’ ahatya. Á nuhta sárë sanwer herien óretya."

Glorfindel opened his eyes and saw the love and concern in the Vala’s eyes and taking a deep breath, let the bitterness go, knowing that it would be of no real use to him. "Ávartyara nillo, herunya. Sometimes the grief overwhelms me."

"Grief, child?" the Vala enquired gently.

Glorfindel nodded. "Grief. Grief that all that we built was ultimately destroyed. Grief that all that we loved was ultimately lost. Grief that I and others like me will seemingly spend the rest of the Ages of Arda apologizing for our lives and our deaths and..."

Ulmo stood up then and gathered the ellon in his arms and held him as he started weeping, silently alerting Manwë and Námo in case the emotions the elf was experiencing proved too much for him. Unknown to Glorfindel or Ingwion or any of the Eldar strolling along the Landamallë Valion, two hundred warrior Maiar descended upon Ulmo’s mansion, ringing it with ethereal swords of light, ready to stop one golden-haired Noldo’s fëa from running away. Their presence proved unnecessary, but none of them minded. They were there for their lords’ bidding and performed whatever task given them with joy and gratitude for the opportunity to serve.

Glorfindel eventually calmed and apologized again for his breakdown, but both Ulmo and Ingwion assured the ellon that apologies were unnecessary.

"You have a right to feel distraught, Glorfindel," Ingwion said, giving the Noldo a pat on the shoulder. "I regret that I ever did or said anything to make things worse for you."

"At least you were willing to be corrected in your misconceptions, young prince," Ulmo said. "That speaks well of your character. Others are not so willing to learn the error of their ways."

"I can be naught but who I am," Glorfindel said as he resumed his seat, staring at his feet. "I can do naught than what I have done already. If the Amaneldi do not want to understand, I cannot force them to do otherwise. Maybe it would be best if all the Reborn settled elsewhere away from the Amaneldi. No doubt the elves of Tol Eressëa will welcome us."

"Is that what you truly want, Glorfindel?" Ulmo asked.

Glorfindel looked up at the Vala, his expression grim. "What I want, my lord, is to return to Endórë. What I want is to serve my king again. What I want is my life back!"

He stood up suddenly and moved away from the other two, stopping only when he found himself inexplicably blocked, not realizing that at that moment twenty of the two hundred Maiar surrounding the mansion now ringed Glorfindel, preventing him from leaving the courtyard. Ulmo stood up and followed the ellon, pulling him backward into his embrace. Glorfindel did not resist. For a moment they stood there, neither looking at anything in particular.

"What you want, you cannot have," Ulmo finally said in a whisper. Glorfindel sobbed, nodding. "What you have, you do not want, though it is what you need."

"What do I have?" Glorfindel asked, unconvinced.

"What you have is the friendship and respect of some of the most powerful elves of Aman. What you have are two brothers who love you."

"Three brothers," Ingwion said, coming to stand beside the Vala, giving Glorfindel a brief kiss on the forehead. "Three brothers who love you."

Glorfindel started sobbing harder as Ulmo nodded, smiling warmly at the Vanyarin prince.

"What you have," Ulmo continued, turning his attention back to Glorfindel, "is the love and forgiveness of the Valar, and more importantly, Eru. What you have, child, is an opportunity to live as Eru always meant for you to live if you will just accept it."

"Perhaps if you and the other Reborn just continue to live your lives under the grace of the Valar," Ingwion said hesitantly, feeling his way, "those who resent the Reborn will see they have nothing to fear from you."

"Why would they fear us?" Glorfindel asked, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hands.

"You represent the unknown to them," Ulmo answered. "You have done something they will never experience or understand and that frightens them."

"Frightened people oft are a danger to themselves and others," Glorfindel said with great confidence, speaking from painful experience.

"Then you must show them that there is nothing to fear from the Reborn," Ulmo replied. He turned Glorfindel around to face him and put his hands on the ellon’s shoulders. "Go now. No decision need be made at the present moment. It is enough that we have talked. Spend the rest of your stay in Valmar among your friends. My brother Manwë will wish to speak with you all before you return to Vanyamar. Until then, I’m ordering you to have a good time."

The Vala feigned a stern look and Glorfindel found himself grinning in spite of himself. "Valar valuvar," he said softly and Ulmo chuckled.

"Indeed."

****

Marilla: Pearl. A symbol of purity and innocence.

Nenairë: Water-sea, from nén "water" + airë "sea"; what we would call aquamarine with the same meaning. It is believed that when submerged in water this gemstone becomes particularly powerful as a healing stone as well as a protective talisman against dangers at sea and against poisoning.

Indómë Eruva: The Will of Eru.

Valar valuvar: "The will of the Valar will be done." This is an attested phrase and translation found in The War of the Jewels, p. 404.

Sérë, hinya. Á lery’ ahatya. Á nuhta sárë sanwer herien óretya: "Peace, my child. Let go thy rage. Do not allow bitter thoughts to continue to rule thy heart."

Ávartyara nillo, herunya: "Forgive me, my lord".

Note: I adapted some of the descriptions of the various mansions from Karen Wynn Fonstad’s Atlas of Middle-earth.