Chapter 47. Half a Dozen of Another

Not long after Merry’s arrival came Haldi, followed by servitors bearing trays of eventides. Though Merry quickly pulled the hood of his cloak up to hide his face and scrambled back into a shadowy corner, it is possible the hobbit of escort recognised the Master of Buckland. If so, he was wise enough to scent a conspiracy, and to know that gossip would not be productive, but likely harmful. Thus he only nodded to the two cloaked and hooded figures, large and small, and turned his attentions to the Thain as the servitors laid down their trays on a bench that had been brought to the stall for just such a contingency. At a gesture from the Thain, the servers withdrew, not without a curious glance for the anonymous lurkers in the shadows.

‘Tolly’s awake again, if you’d like to speak with him,’ the escort said.

‘How is he?’ Pippin wanted to know.

Haldi shrugged. ‘Seems himself again, only much thinner than he was, of course. He’ll soon make up lost ground, the way Mardi and Meadowsweet keep thrusting food upon him.’

‘But he’s eating with good appetite?’ Pippin asked. ‘They don’t have to force him to eat?’

Haldi shuddered at the thought of having to force anyone to eat. ‘Not at all – but let the same not be said for yourself, and your… guests,’ he said, gesturing to the trays.

‘Quite right. Wouldn’t want this good food to go cold,’ Pippin said, sniffing in appreciation at the lovely aromas of hot, hearty soup and fresh-baked bread, rising from under the coverings. ‘You go on back to the common room, Haldi, but send Hilly to me once you’ve finished your meal, and he’s finished his.’

‘Aye, sir,’ Haldi answered, and with a nod for the Thain, and one for each of the Thain’s companions, he took his leave.

‘Plenty enough for an army!’ Pippin said, removing the covering from one tray. ‘Strider?’

‘Merry may have my share, and welcome,’ the King said, remaining comfortably seated in his shadowy corner, leaning back against a pile of hay. He stretched his long legs out before him and sighed. ‘All the comforts of home.’

‘Were you born in a barn?’ Pippin inquired, and followed with, ‘No matter. Merry, come and eat while it’s still hot!’

‘Ah, hot food,’ Merry said, his strength evidently restored by the cold tea, or perhaps the good smells filling the stall. ‘You won’t have to ask me twice.’ He moved forward, stopping to peer into the corridor.

‘You needn’t worry about being seen and recognised by the workers here,’ Pippin said. ‘They’ll all be off at their own eventides. There’s a watcher in the doorway to the courtyard, in case any traveller should arrive, but we ought to remain undisturbed here.’ He waved in Elessar’s direction. ‘They’re of the opinion that our companion here is the shy and retiring type.’

‘Ah,’ Merry repeated, turning to the food. He pushed back his hood, though he retained his cloak (the stables were a bit chilly, in truth, and the finer ponies, whose coats had been clipped for show, wore blankets). He removed the covering from the other tray. ‘Wonderful!’

Piling half a dozen breadrolls atop a steaming tureen of soup, he took up tureen in one hand and spoon in the other and said, ‘This will just suit.’

‘Help yourself, cousin,’ Pippin said. ‘Did you, perhaps, not see the bowl they provided?’

‘There’s plenty more where that came from,’ Merry said. ‘Another tureen awaits your pleasure on the second tray, and another basket of bread into the bargain, and look – crocks of butter, jam, and marmalade! They know how to do things properly here. And Strider, if he wishes, may use my bowl to sup on a little of your soup, cousin.’

‘Very generous of you,’ Pippin said. ‘Strider?’

Elessar held up a staying hand. ‘Truly,’ he said. ‘Tea was sufficient. I shall not feel a need for sustenance until the dawning, at the very earliest.’

Pippin shook his head. ‘These Men of Gondor and Arnor,’ he said. ‘Eat like birds.’

‘Hah,’ the King answered. ‘That is a better description of hobbits, I should say, considering how quickly the birds empty the feeders in the royal gardens, and the cost in the household budget for bird seed…’

With hot food, and plenty of it, Merry was soon restored.

Pippin managed half the contents of his tureen, and persuaded the Man to take a bowl or two, simply to taste the cookery to be had in a Shirish inn, ‘for your royal cooks could take a page out of this inn’s cookbook, they could – now this is what I call soup!’

‘I’ll make a note of it,’ Elessar said, and Pippin eyed him closely.

‘Be sure that you do,’ he said. ‘’Twill make visits so much pleasanter, not to anticipate starving at royal banquets.’

‘You always eat a full meal before a banquet as it is,’ the King pointed out.

‘Ah yes, but think of all your other guests!’ Pippin said.

The King inclined his head, in a nod to show he would consider the matter.

Merry sighed, a satisfied sigh, and rose to replace his tureen on the tray. ‘And now,’ he said, ‘to discuss how to spirit you out of here, and myself as well, and no one the wiser.’ He moved back into the shadows and tugged his hood into place once more, in case a stable worker returning from the eventide meal should look in.

‘I have an idea,’ Pippin said.

‘That’s what I appreciate about you, cousin, your wealth of ideas…’ Merry said with a grin that the others heard, rather than saw.

‘We have that fine messenger horse, as you recall,’ Pippin said. Elessar nodded. ‘And you, Merry, must have brought the Ferry over to the Stock landing, in coming here.’ Merry nodded. ‘And what about the Ferry hobbits?’

‘I told them I’d be taking it back again to the Hall myself, and no need to stir themselves,’ Merry said. ‘They are labouring under the impression that I am one of my Brandybuck cousins, on an errand for the Master, and besides, no one but a Brandybuck would take the Ferry into the River at this time of year.’

‘Ah,’ Pippin said. ‘No one is so daft as a Brandybuck, when it comes to water.’

‘Hah,’ Merry barked. ‘I resemble that remark… Unless you might be talking about a certain mad Took of my acquaintance, whose Brandybuck relations taught him how to swim, and how to manage a boat.’

‘Perhaps an error on their part,’ Pippin said.

‘Perhaps, or perhaps not. I do believe they took on the task as a matter of self-preservation, in order to cut down on the numbers of rescues of impetuous hobbits that would otherwise be necessary…’

‘You had a plan,’ Elessar interjected at this point, perceiving that the cousins’ chaffing might go on for some time otherwise.

‘Yes. What if I happened to wager you, Strider, that I could sneak one of your messenger horses from the picket line, without your guards noticing, and ride the beast as my illustrious relation Bandobras is said to have done?’

‘How much are we wagering?’ the King wanted to know.

‘The price of a mug,’ Pippin said with a shrug. ‘It’s all my dear wife will allow me to risk.’

Elessar nodded. ‘Wagering can be thirsty work,’ he said. ‘I accept.’

‘And if he falls on his head?’ Merry demanded.

‘I’m so tall as Bandobras was,’ Pippin insisted, ‘which gives me a good chance, if I do say so myself, and I do. But if I fall on my head, well, Strider wins his wager.’

‘Thirsty work,’ the King repeated. ‘Healing is thirsty work, as well, as I recall. Two mugs might be necessary.’

‘One mug is all my dear wife will allow,’ Pippin maintained. ‘In any event, if I am successful, you shall be providing me the mug, remember?’

‘And I shall have to have one myself, to keep you company,’ Elessar said.

‘Very good,’ Pippin said with a nod. ‘I can see why they made you King. So, I shall have wagered you that I could sneak a fine messenger horse from the picket line, lead the beast across the Bridge – last night’s fog was quite a boon for such an endeavour! – fetch my escort back to the Bridge (for it was quite a scandal, for me to have ridden off without an escort to seek you, er, a son of Elrond, and I should hate to cut Hilly’s celebrating short by imposing three days of water rations on him, Tolly, and Haldi…)’

‘You wouldn’t,’ Merry said.

Pippin shrugged. ‘I’d have to!’ he said. ‘It’s the penalty for neglecting one’s duty, and I certainly slipped the escort, riding all the way to the Bridge as I did, and leaving Hilly in the courtyard, poor fellow.’

‘Pippin…’ Merry said in warning.

Pippin held up a staying hand. ‘However,’ he said, ‘with my wager and its consequences, I am redressing my wrongs to my hobbits of escort,’ he said. ‘I have returned for Hilly, and we shall return to the Bridge and make a great deal of commotion in our arrival. And Strider,’ he peered sternly into the shadowy face hidden in the hood, ‘I do hope you can arrange some appropriate consequences for the guardsman in charge of the picket line.’

‘Not quite fair, with the Queen and King, Thain, Master, and Mayor all participating in the conspiracy,’ Merry muttered.

‘Have no fear, my friend,’ Elessar said. ‘I am allowed to be wise and merciful, after all, and this is his first offence, if I am not mistaken.’

‘As I doubt you are,’ Pippin said. ‘Mistaken, that is.’ He rose and stretched. ‘So, as soon as Hilly comes, he’ll saddle his pony, and you’ll boost me onto the horse’s back, and we’ll set off at an easy pace to the Bridge. It should take us some four or five hours at the walk – six or seven, perhaps, if we manage things properly, and that will give you time to reach the Ferry, cross over to Buckland, hide yourself away amidst the barrels of brandy that Merry’s relations have loaded onto a waggon, if they have proceeded with their usual Brandybuck efficiency…’

‘They are nothing if not efficient,’ Merry agreed.

‘Thanks in great part to your wife’s efforts, I should think,’ Pippin said, and smiled at his cousin’s feigned splutters. ‘In any event, you ought to reach the King’s encampment an hour or two before I arrive to claim my wager, and in my generosity I shall insist on a mug of fine ale for everyone, Hilly included (so you see, being a hobbit of the Thain’s escort has its good points as well as its trials), and we’ll drink a toast to the sons of Elrond, and the Queen’s beauty, and anything else we can think of.’

‘I cannot imagine a better plan,’ Elessar said, inclining his head in agreement.

‘Ah,’ Pippin said, seeing movement in the corridor outside their secluded stall. ‘Here’s Hilly now. Shall we explain the plan to him, and put it into motion?’

‘Let us, do,’ Merry said, ‘before Samwise loses his voice from doing all the talking at our expense. He’s been holding forth for hours, I imagine!’

‘That’s why we made him Mayor,’ Pippin said. ‘We ought to expect no less.’