Disclaimer: All hobbits and Middle-earth belong to JRR Tolkien, but in my dreams, they belong to me.

Beta: Marigold

This story takes place in Afteryule, 1428

The Unexpected Guest

Pippin rushed by many servants and relations in his haste toward his and Diamond’s apartment. For the servants he was well acquainted with, Pippin mumbled a greeting in return to their salutation, although for most folk he met Pippin merely nodded his acknowledgment. There would be less chance of someone wanting to stop and talk with him. Pippin trembled with cold as he continued on his way to his and Diamond’s quarters. Pippin had been out riding in the winter rain on an errand for his father and was now soaked to the skin...and oh, so cold! The chill, tunnel air brushed against his damp skin making his cold, wet raiment cling to him, making him shiver to the bone.

Upon entering their quarters, Pippin barely paused long enough to give Diamond a brief kiss before marching into the parlour to face the warm blaze in the hearth. He stood there trembling, hands outstretched to get warm.

“You’re nearly frozen, love!” said Diamond, following her husband into the sitting room. “Didn’t you take the carriage?”

“No, I didn’t,” Pippin replied tersely. He stood before the hearth dripping water from his hair. “I thought my father mad for sending me on such an errand while you are in your condition, so I took Shadow--hoping to cut the time I’d be away in half.”

“But what happened?” Diamond asked. She handed him a towel she grabbed from off the tea table.

“I hadn’t even got as far as Whitwell when it started raining, and then Shadow threw a shoe while taking one of my short-cuts,” came his brusque reply. “I had to walk him all the way back to the blacksmith in Tuckborough and then walk to the Smials by myself.”

“Didn’t anyone offer to ride you?”

“I was the only cracked hobbit out in this weather,” said Pippin. “There was no one else out and about to give me that offer.”

“Off with your things - now, or you’re going to catch your death,” Diamond commanded, unbuttoning his waistcoat and peeling if off her husband. “And we can’t have that now, can we?”

At first, Pippin looked at Diamond with great surprise. “Disrobe--right here?”

Diamond smirked. “It isn’t as if there is crowd in here to watch you, Peregrin. It’s just you and me...my love,” she said using a very sensual voice...then giggled, caressing her very swollen tummy. “And the baby.” Diamond leaned toward her husband with a twinkle in her eye, “Besides, I don’t recall you being this bashful on our honeymoon!”

His annoyance gone, growing aroused, Pippin happily complied, starting with his shirt. He smiled as his eyes met his wife’s round belly. “You look beautiful, Diamond,” he said softly, taking her into his arms.

“You always know just what to say,” Diamond replied with a whisper, snuggling up to her husband. She and Pippin, who was as bare as the day he was born, stood amid the rain-drenched garments at their feet while embraced in a very, very passionate kiss that deepened with every passing second.

When the couple broke for air, Diamond softly sighed, “I suppose I ought to fetch your dressing gown so that you don’t become ill.”

Pippin lightly touched his forehead to hers, sighing in reply. “Aye...I suppose. I passed Reggie in the north wing on my way here and he said I should report to my father immediately, otherwise...,” Pippin smile, “we’d continue this in the bedroom, my love.”

Reluctantly Diamond went to get Pippin’s dressing gown while he stood before the hearth warming himself. She was in the entryway between the parlour and the hall that led to the back bedrooms in their spacious apartment when a knock was heard at their front door.

Now, seldom does Pippin stand in the parlour without a stitch of clothing on...in fact, its pretty rare. After the baby is born, it will probably never happen again. Yet, on this day, there he stood as brazen as can be, getting comfortable and toasty in front of the fire.

Pippin jumped at the sound of company at the door; he froze in alarm. “Diamond! No!” he hissed, but to no avail.

Diamond did not hear him...and while she is a very loving and attentive wife, the young lass sometimes forgets important things. For example, like re-locking a certain door in Buckland while on their honeymoon...or...answering the door while her husband is completely naked in the parlour. Tweens are like that occasionally.

“Surprise!!” There, in the entrance stood a good-sized crowd of matrons, maidens, and gammers.

“What--?” Diamond was tongue-tied. “Hullo, Viola,” she greeted the first familiar face she saw, “I am quite surprised--might I ask what occasion this is? My birthday was at Yule, and Pippin’s isn’t until--oh, my! Wait--don’t go any further--please!”

Unfortunately, Diamond was a bit too late with her request; the crowd slowly, but surely, made their way inside--growing from a small group to a very large one and all bearing a gift of some sort.

Diamond, love--it’s yer Baby Tea!” Viola said in reply.

“Excuse me,” Diamond said while none-too-gently pressing her way to the front of the party. Quickly she hastened into the parlour ahead of the ladies. A few of the curious followed the mad and extremely pregnant lass.

“Diamond, I believe it is on the left of the hallway, just before you get to the nursery, isn’t it?” Cousin Laurel, who by now had three children of her own, thought surely Diamond had lost her bearings while in a frenzied search for the privy.

Glancing about inside the parlour, Diamond was indeed relieved--but not in that way. “Where did he go?” she muttered to herself.

“Where did whom go, my dear?” asked Eglantine. “Pippin isn’t here, is he? Paladin purposely sent him on errand today so that we could surprise you with your Baby Tea.”

“He...” Diamond began, and then stopped. The mound of drenched clothing was gone. She noticed a trail of footprints and water droplets leading into the...wardrobe! Time slowed to nearly a stop as Diamond saw her mother-in-law turn the handle to hang up her shawl.

“No!” Diamond threw herself against the door. Fortunately, at that moment, the attention of the other ladies was given to the teacart that one of the servants had brought in.

Eglantine gave the tween a quizzical look. “Diamond, lass, have you cracked?”

“I...I...it’s full of clutter inside!” she stammered, “I don’t want anyone to see it. It would embarrass me so.”

“How much of a clutter can one lad and one lass make, hmm?” replied Eglantine, while turning the door handle. She pulled on the door, paused at something she gazed at, and then quickly shut it. Slowly, Eglantine turned in wide-eyed shock to her daughter-in-law. “I haven’t seen that much of my son since I last gave him a bath when he was child. How long has he been home?”

Diamond explained everything to Eglantine while the other guests busied themselves with filling their teacups and plates and then finding somewhere to sit.

Cousin Teasel, a Banks cousin, spoke over the volume of chattering ladies. “We’ll need more chairs, Auntie Tina!”

“It is our fortune that most of the ladies coming from outside the Smials left their wraps with other relatives or in their guest rooms. We have got to find a way to get Pippin out of there,” said Eglantine.

Diamond was growing worried. “But how--and without everyone seeing him?”

Cousin Merta, Ferdibrand’s wife, approached to put her jumper inside the wardrobe. Diamond stealthily blocked the lass’s path, almost yanking the garment from her.

“You are an eager hostess!” said Merta, however, she let Diamond have the item. “The mother-to-be ought to be sitting down in her seat of honour letting everyone else wait on her hand and foot.”

“I’ll be there momentarily,” Diamond answered, “I’m having a word with my mum-in-law, if you please.”

“Very well,” said Merta, looking curiously at the pair, but then returned to her friends by the tea table.

For a moment, Diamond and Eglantine stood there looking at one another dumbfounded, unable to figure out what to do.

“Diamond!” Pippin hissed, opening the door a crack. “I can’t stay in here much longer--I have to use the privy! Why are all of these ladies here?” He sheepishly smiled, “Hullo, Mother.”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Diamond whispered back, pushing him back in with the door. “They’re giving me a Baby Tea.”

“That was supposed to be next Trewsday!”

“It appears to be happening today, Pippin,” answered Diamond, then nudged the door shut.

“What is going on?” asked Pimpernel, coming up to her mother while sipping on her tea. “I thought we were having a tea party for Diamond and her baby.” Without waiting for an answer, Pim casually took the jumper out of Diamond’s grasp then opened the door to the wardrobe. She froze in wide-eyed surprise...and then snorted a laugh.

Offended, Pippin reached out, took the jumper from his sister and then closed the door on himself.

“This isn’t funny!” Diamond protested.

“Yes, it is!” laughed Pimpernel. “This is absolutely delicious! I haven’t had the pleasure of watching Pippin embarrass himself since before he left the Shire.”

Diamond turned to Eglantine, “What am I going to do, Mum?”

“We’re going to behave like normal Tooks,” said Eglantine, guiding Diamond forward. “Pimpernel, you stay here and watch for my signal. Pippin, when your sister opens the door use Merta’s jumper to cover yourself and then quickly exit the parlour. And I mean quickly, son.”

“Yes, Mother,” came a muffled voice from within the wardrobe.

Eglantine casually escorted her daughter-in-law to her chair of honour decorated with colourful ribbons and a host of gifts lying beside it.

“Ladies,” she addressed the group, “May I have your attention, please?” When all eyes and ears were on her, Eglantine proceeded with her plan. “As we all know, this is Diamond and Pippin’s first baby...”

In the back of the room, Pimpernel caught the near imperceptible nod from her mother then cautiously opened the wardrobe door. She bit her tongue hard in order to keep from laughing out loud.

Out stepped Pippin, quiet as can be....however....Merta’s jumper caught onto an errant nail in the side of the door and slipped out of his grasp. The door snapped back and slammed shut. Completely taken by surprise, Pippin stood there frozen in his tracks.

The noise from the back of the room took the attention of Eglantine’s listeners. All eyes turned to the scene going on behind them.

Thinking quickly, Pimpernel gave her tea saucer to Pippin.

Pippin gratefully took it, placing it where the jumper had been, although he felt a larger tea plate would be more ample to cover everything. He blushed a deep crimson from the tip of his toes to the top of his curly head. “Good afternoon, Ladies,” he said with an awkward grin, trying to salvage what dignity he had left. “Enjoy your party, Diamond.” He then made a hasty exit.

“My, my,” whispered old Mrs. Dingle of Whitwell disapprovingly to her friend, Miss Goldlocket. “I’ve heard tell of these eccentric Tooks and their behaviour before. Naked lads running amok at tea parties!”

Miss Goldlocket, an old spinster, merely grinned. “Yes...so have I.”

The End