Chapter Nineteen: Going Home

During one night, Frodo had a dream that left him filled with sudden joy and anticipation. It woke him as much as the soft moaning of “No” he heard from Sam. Somehow he knew his brother was having the same dream and was instead frightened by it. The elder hobbit drew Sam’s head to rest against his heart and slowly stroked his curls as he held him and softly sang in Quenya a song that had often been sung to him, starting with his mother and then his Aunt Esme and even Bilbo, whenever he had had nightmares about his parents’ deaths.

“Little flowerlets, sweet and rosy,

Fold their petals now for rest.

Little birdies, warm and cosy,

Slumber safely in the nest.

Like the blossoms and the birdies,

Close your weary eyes and rest.

All the night through, I'll watch o'er you.

Sleep, and may your dreams be blest.

“Fields and forests, hills and meadows,

Leaping fountains, flowing streams

All are clad now in night's shadows,

Drowned deep in peaceful dreams.

Hush ye, hush ye, rest in quiet,

Till the morning brings its light

Sleep, my joy, my dear, my treasure,

Sleep in peace all through the night.

“Heed no sound of wind in willow,

Sighing sadly in the dark.

Rest your head upon the pillow,

the soft pillow of my heart.

Fear ye not the shifting shadows,

Close your eyes and lie ye still.

While I'm by you, none shall harm you,

Fear no darkness, fear no ill.

"Rest, my beloved, may nothing grieve you,

Sleep until the shadows flee.

I will never, never leave you,

By your side I'll ever be.

Love is higher than the mountains,

Deeper than the ocean blue.

Know that whate’er may befall us,

I will ne'er cease loving you.”

Frodo kept singing and stroking until he knew Sam had fallen back to sleep, then he kissed that dear head and slept again as well.

The next morning, Sam was frightened to wake alone, but then he heard his brother’s voice, raised in the morning praise to Iluvatar. His voice sounded lovelier and more joyful than the younger hobbit had ever heard it. He moved to the window and couldn’t even see Frodo’s features, so lost he was in brilliant light. When the song ended, the light faded enough for him to be seen again, but he was still more brightly lit than Sam had ever seen him, as though he was made of nothing but light that was barely held in by his body’s shell.

“I thought you were gone when I woke and you weren’t here,” he said when Frodo re-entered the smial. “I had the most terrible dream last night and it gave me a fright to not see you at first.”

Frodo smiled at his brother and touched his shoulder. “I had the same dream, ammelda. But it is not to be feared. Instead it’s a gift from Lord Irmo.”

Sam looked aghast. “But I dreamed you died! That is no gift. Not unless I can come with you. Because I’m not going to let you go again. I couldn’t bear it.”

Frodo’s smile grew. “No more than I could bear to lose you again. No, Sam, we are going together, as we should. We have this last day to spend here and when night comes...”

Sam let out a loud sigh in relief. “That won’t be so bad then. I’ve loved every moment here, but if we are going together, then I would be willing to leave. I wonder what waits beyond?”

Frodo squeezed his brother’s hand. “We will find out. Our last adventure...Oh, Sam, I can’t wait...”

Sam looked into his brother’s shining, loving eyes and smiled back. Then he looked out toward the garden. “I think I will miss the garden, though. I wonder if the Elves will take care of it.”

“I’m sure they will. Now let’s get going to gave our praise and thanks to Iluvatar for this gift He will accept from us and we will accept from Him.”

They traveled down the familiar path to the dark room, hand-in-hand, Frodo softly singing a hymn to Elbereth. They spent much extra time in that room afterwards, preparing themselves the best they could for what was to come. Frodo made first breakfast, Sam second and elvenses, and Frodo a picnic lunch and tea, Sam dinner. “See, that’s evenly split between us as it always should have been,” the elder hobbit commented.

They spent the time between meals at their favorite spots, traveling through meadows, touching trees, breathing the air, raising their heads to the sun. They felt vividly alive and in touch with all around them. Their hands never left each other’s clasp. Frodo had a smile on his face the entire day, glowing so bright, just glad to be with his Sam and Sam was just as happy to watch his treasure, love and joy flowing so strongly from his eyes and heart that he shone brighter than ever.

They spent some time at the beach as well. Frodo waded out as far as he could without letting go of his beloved guardian’s hand while Sam stayed outside of the water as best he could manage, filled with joy just to watch his dear one splash about and see how happy he was. They visited Bilbo’s grave at lunch and afterwards spent some hours in the garden, getting it ready for its new owner as much as they could. When they were done, they were dirty but satisfied. Sam was convinced his heart would burst from how beautiful his brother looked when he smiled at him.

After a quick wash, they went to the library. Frodo placed with Sam’s blessing the books he had written just for his brother and they also placed the journals they had kept for each other and their lessons in Quenya. Frodo hugged his primary instructor goodbye and other of the scribes and historians who had been his friends. After dinner with Gandalf, Galian, Auna, Halarin and Eruanna, the seven of them went to the Hall of Fire and listened to the songs and tales the two hobbits loved so much. Then they returned to their smial, dressed in their very finest and returned to Bilbo’s grave with their friends. Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond were expected later, but right now it was just the seven of them.

“But why do you have to go, Tecindo?” Auna asked. “I thought you liked it here.”

Frodo smiled tenderly at his beloved friend. “I love it, ammelda. But Sam and I are mortals. We cannot stay here forever. I’ve been here very nearly a full century or so Gandalf tells me and though that’s not very long at all in the span of an Elf, it’s very long for a mortal! Iluvatar wants us to go home and I want to, too. But don’t think that means I will stop loving you or thinking of you. You may not be able to see me anymore, but I will always be with you.”

“But I don’t understand!” Eruanna said and her sister and brother shook their heads. “Can we go with you?”

Frodo smiled now at his other dear friend and touched her cheek. “No, melmenya, not until Iluvatar calls you home also and I don’t know when that will be.” He gathered the other elflings into his loving gaze. “You have so much living more to do, all of you, so much to do and be. I hope I can see it all.”

Sam smiled at his brother with such love. Frodo’s words sounded so much like those he had spoken to Sam himself.

The three elflings burst into tears and threw themselves collectively into Frodo’s arms. The ancient hobbit was hard pressed to hold them all, but he did and kissed them each on the head. He let go after a long while, wiped at all their tears, then kissed each of their palms individually and pressed them to their cheeks. “Melinyel. Illume.”

Each of them returned the gesture. “I will always love you,” they said back. Frodo smiled at them all and held them once more. Auna squeezed him the tightest, but not much less were her brother and sister.

When he saw that though they were grieving, they would heal, he turned to Galian who gathered him up into his arms. Frodo wrapped his legs tight around his beloved friend’s waist and held him close. “Hantanyel, halla calmar, otornonya. Melinyel. Illume.”

The Elf hugged his dear brother. “Thank you, little child of light, my brother. I love you always,” he said and Frodo smiled as he followed the pattern of the elflings in speaking in the language the other had taught.

Frodo kissed Galian’s palm and then the Elf let him go. Sam hugged him also and then they both looked up at Gandalf.

The Maia smiled down at them with tears in his eyes. “You are taking special care to say goodbye this time, Frodo.”

“I’ve learned my lesson,” the hobbit replied.

“You have learned very much,” the Maia agreed, then he knelt and gathered Sam into his gaze also, “and you have taught us even more. Oh, my stubborn, lovely, loving hobbits, how much less the world will now be without you in it, but how much grander will be the Halls of Iluvatar.”
He gathered his friends into his arms and kissed both their heads. The hobbits pressed themselves tight against their friend and then looked into Gandalf’s eyes that twinkled with love and mirth and tears and something much deeper and more beautiful than they ever conceived. Frodo’s eyes widened a bit and he began to cry at last, knowing he had just received a tremendous blessing. Sam’s eyes filled also. Gandalf, Olorin of old, merely smiled and hugged them tight against him once more. “Namarie, aman Eruhini. Tenn’ omentielva enta.”

“Tenn’ omentielva enta,” Frodo murmured.

The wizard was the hardest of their friends to let go, but they did. Both of them kissed those aged palms and pressed them against weathered cheeks and received a beatific smile in thanks.

The Lady Galadriel arrived next and Frodo held her long. She kissed his head softly. “Hantanyel, Cormacolindo. Nai i Iluvatar ar Valar nauar as elye ar nai anar caluva tielyanna,” she murmured.

“Hantanyel, herinya,” Frodo murmured. “Nai i Iluvatar ar Valar nauar as elye ar nai anar caluva tielyanna.”

Frodo embraced Elrond next. “Hantanyel,” the Elf lord said. “May Elbereth guide your way.”

“Hantanyel, herunya. May she guide you as well.”

Sam was too shy to hug either of the Elves and blushed straight down to his toes when Galadriel smiled at him and kissed his head. “Namarie, Panthael Nerae. Hantanyel.”

Auna, Eruanna and Halarin gave Frodo one last quick, tight hug and then the two hobbits watched their friends leave. Once they were gone, Frodo looked up at the stars. They seemed particularly bright and beautiful tonight. The wind gently tugged at his clothes and curls, the ground soft and warm under his feet, the air sweet with the smell of flowers and life itself. He had never felt so alive, so filled with joy. He looked at Sam and smiled brightly and knew from the look of wonder on his beloved’s face, he was feeling the same thing.

They lay down on the ground and gathered each other into their arms. Frodo sought his favorite position, though he feared Sam would go first and he would hear that beloved beat fail, but still there was no other place he would rather be in his last moments than with his brother. He felt Sam trembling slightly and he too wondered what awaited them.

"It’s all right, my Sam. Don’t be afraid. This is not the end.”

Sam held his brother tighter. “I know. Besides, you know there’s nowhere I wouldn’t go with you, melmenya.”

Frodo smiled and tightened his own embrace. “I know, ammelda,” he murmured. “I’m glad you’re with me.”

Peace filled them as they closed their eyes and silently waited for Iluvatar to accept their offering and themselves to accept His gift. Then Frodo said in a soft, dream-like voice filled with awe, “Oh, Sam...do you see it? So bright and beautiful. Bilbo and Rose and...Merry and Pippin...and....” His voice trailed off as he got lost in looking at two figures whose features he had long forgotten, but his heart immediately recognized. “Mama....Papa....”

The curtain began to part for Sam as well. “I do see, my dear, I do....Rose and my old Gaffer...” His voice caught as he stared enraptured.

Their breath quickened in anticipation. Frodo held his brother even tighter. “Hold on, my Sam. We are almost there.”

Peace deepened. “Melinyel, otornonya,” Frodo said with his last breath.

Sam kissed his head. “Melinyel, Iorhaelnya, ammelda otorno,” he murmured, then faithful to the end, followed his beloved into the Light, at last, no longer torn in two, but whole and complete with both halves of his heart and soul with him.

The next morning, just as dawn was breaking, Galian and Gandalf came to bury them just as they found them, still wrapped in each other’s arms. A faint glow seemed to linger around them both. The Maia kissed their brows and murmured prayers of thanksgiving and sorrow and then repeated what he had said the previous night. “Namarie, aman Eruhini. Tenn’ omentielva enta.”

The two buried their friends on the hill next to Bilbo, facing east. It was a sad day but it was also beautiful, glad day with as much to celebrate as to mourn. Flowers grew up over the grave, an immense variety and it was considered the most beautiful part of the island, save the dark room only.

A/N: Illume is always. Frodo addresses Galadriel and Elrond as my lady and my lord. Namarie, aman Eruhini. Tenn’ omentielva enta is Farwell, blessed children of Eru. Until our next meeting. Aman is literally freed from evil and usually only refers to the land of the Valar, but I like the idea of Frodo being freed from evil too and take the liberty of using the word for him too. Cormacolindo is Ring-bearer. Nai i Iluvatar ar Valar nauar as elye ar nai anar caluva tielyanna is May Iluvatar and the Valar be with you and may the sun shine on your path. I don’t need to tell you where the song came from, do I? :)