Chapter Eight: Evening Songs

After elvenses, Sam cleaned up the dishes and then went back briefly into the garden. Frodo stayed out with him and took his afternoon nap there. The elder hobbit very docilely allowed Sam to prepare tea and dinner and in between there was another lesson in Quenya. Frodo went back inside when it was nearly sunset and Sam was tempted to follow to what mischief his brother was now up to, but the elder hobbit soon returned with a two small lit candles. Frodo handed one of them to his brother.

"The audune arcande, the evening prayer, to Iluvatar is going to be sung soon," he said. "and then I’m going to take you to the Hall of Fire. I am set to sing tonight. My friends let me indulge myself occasionally there and I hope you like what you hear, though it’s not as good as what you are about to hear. Sit down on the sara, the grass, my Sam and listen."

The two sat down together. Frodo took Sam’s hand and closed his eyes as they both listened to the Elven voice raised in petition to the Creator. After it was over, Frodo’s eyes remained closed for a few moments longer as his lips moved in silent prayer, then he turned to smile at Sam.

"That was Mr. Galian again?" the younger hobbit asked.

Frodo nodded. "He has one of the loveliest voices here, I think. He said, ‘Eru, the One, who delivers us from all things that walk in darkness, receive our prayer. Accept the lifting up of our hands as an evening sacrifice. Deem us worthy to pass blamelessly through the course of the night, untempted by evil things, and deliver us from every disturbance and apprehension that comes to us. Remove from us every unseemly dream so that during the quietness of sleep we may be enlightened with the vision of Your judgements. Then raise us up again at the time for prayer, fortified in faith and advancing in your commandments. Amen.’"

Frodo was silent for a moment, then said softly, "That prayer helped me greatly when the call of the Ring was still with me and the pull of it would disturb my sleep. It was one of the first things I learned to pray here and the most effective. Sometimes I would repeat it over and over again when I couldn’t sleep. Love does indeed heal all wounds, though sometimes only Divine Love can heal the deepest ones. I have been very blessed to have been able to come here to know of such love and mercy and forgiveness."

"Couldn’t all that have reached you in the Shire?" Sam asked very quietly.

Frodo squeezed his brother’s hand. "It did, but so did the Ring. I had to go somewhere away from all that. I had to learn how to forgive too. I couldn’t do that, with all the pain and longing and hatred for the thing that had ruined me still filling me. I had to go somewhere where its voice wasn’t so loud, so I could hear another Voice, so I could forgive all the hurt done to me and let it go and become myself again, still changed, but more myself than before. Once I did that and let go of all the rage at the hurt it had caused me, I began to heal and hear its voice less and then it stopped all together and I could only hear Iluvatar’s Voice inside me."

"I don’t think I forgave until I knew you were well and then I was still mad and sad that you had to leave. But I couldn’t hold onto that anger when I knew you were all right."

Frodo smiled. "So we are both longed healed from the wounds of that terrible thing. And Middle-earth is healed. And that makes it all worth it, doesn’t it, every last bit of sweat and blood and torment that was poured out in us so we could be the vessels through which all of the land could heal."

"Except the Elven ones," Sam said softly. "They faded. That always made me sad."

"They accepted that sacrifice, just like Iluvatar accepted the sacrifice of our wills when we chose to do not what we wished to do, but what He wished us to do. We were manaquenta, blessed, my Sam, for being chosen for such a alcarinqua, glorious, task. It took me a very long time to realize that fully. I healed when I did, when I accepted that Iluvatar had fashioned me in a particular way for a particular task and I had not failed Him as I thought I had and He still loved and forgave me for the times I had not served Him as well as I could have."

"I still don’t understand why He allowed you to suffer so much. Couldn’t you have done everything without being hurt so?"

"Evil has been woven into the Song from the beginning, Sam. It was part of the fabric of Middle-earth from the time of its creation. Iluvatar could have changed that, but He allowed to continue instead so He could use even that to show that it had no power over Him and His designs. We suffered because of that evil, but Iluvatar did not allow it to claim us utterly. We kept going through His eruanna, His grace. It sustained us through all we endured. We were under His ortirie, His protection, watching over from above. Sauron was but a servant himself, serving a greater evil just as we were serving a greater Good. Iluvatar wanted to show that He could overcome Sauron’s might in our weakness. The weaker we got, the more He strengthened us and the stronger we got, the weaker Sauron got. Evil collapsed under its own weight. The Ring played a part in its own destruction. We were merely the vessels to get it there."

"What’s the song you were talking about? You mean the song of the elves like we heard in the Shire and in Rivendell and Lothlorien?"

"No, the Song is the mighty work of creation from the very beginning. It is playing now and will continue to play until the uttermost end of time and all things." Frodo turned to smile at his brother. "You are indeed inside a Song, ammelda. That is how I knew each time one of my nieces or nephews were conceived and then born. It’s how I knew Rose died and the Gaffer. Listen for it in your heart, in the quietest part of yourself and the quietest part of the day or the night. You will hear it then and know you are part of a greater Story than you could ever imagine. You are one of many children. It is the most beautiful thing you ever heard and it’s always growing and deepening. I felt so close to you and to Merry and Pippin and Aragorn and all those marvelous children you all had because I could hear you all and I could celebrate each new life as it began. Soon you will always be hearing it. Listen for it tonight as we walk along. Bring your candle. The path is not hard, but you will need some light to see by."

Sam smiled at his brother. "I don’t need a light, melanya. You’re shining enough for me."

Frodo returned the smile then took Sam’s hand and held his candle in his other hand. They walked silently along the path leading to the Hall. Elves, all illuminated from within, came from other paths, all carrying candles, in a solemn procession to the Hall.

"This reminds me when we saw the wood elves," Sam said quietly, "but it’s even more...What’s the word for ‘beautiful’?"

"There are four actually - vanya, linda, calwa or vanima."

"I don’t know if even four are enough to describe this. It’s like when we saw the Lady - all these Elves lit from within."

Frodo squeezed his brother’s hand. "That is what they are, my Sam. The light of Iluvatar shines through them...and through you."

"And you, brighter than you ever did." He was silent for a while, then said, "I think I do hear your Song, ammelda. I heard it faintly back in the Shire and a bit louder on the Quest. I never knew what it was."

Frodo looked a little surprised. "You heard it even then? What does it sound like to you? The one melody I could never hear was myself."

Sam thought hard for a bit, then shook his head. "I can’t rightly describe it I don’t think. Like sunshine, like the smell of grass after rain, like the most beautiful, ethereal, tune you ever heard that you want to hold onto forever, but you don’t want to crush it or even listen too hard for fear of breaking it.  At least that's the way it sounded in the Shire, but on the Quest, it got a lot stronger and I knew I could listen with all my might and it would still be just as beautiful."

"You sound almost exactly like that to me, orotonya, feanya," Frodo said softly. 

Galian nodded to them as they entered the Hall and took their places beside him, Frodo by his friend and Sam by Frodo. "Aiya, calmar," the Elf said with a smile to the elder hobbit.

"Calmar is his epesse, his nickname, for me," Frodo explained to Sam. "It means ‘child of light.’"

"Tecindo! Tecindo!" cried three golden-haired Elven children nearly the same size of hobbits. Frodo’s face burst into an even larger smile as he gathered one, then two of them up into a hug, then broke away and embraced a third.

They all spoke to him at once so quickly that Sam could understand nothing of what they said. He simply enjoyed how brightly his brother shone in his friends’ presence. Frodo replied back, then turned and beamed at Sam. "Sam, these are more of my friends. This is Eruanna, Halarin, and Auna. Dear ones, this is Panthael Nerae, otornonya."

Two young female eyes and one male lit up and they bowed. "Ma quetil il lambe Eldaiva?" one of them asked.

Frodo smiled as he looked at Sam. "He’s asking you if you speak Elvish." He looked back at his friends. "He is learning, but he can’t speak it just yet. He just got here!"

"Ma nar elye lelyuva lira sina lona, Tecindo?" Eruanna asked.

Frodo touched her blond hair and smiled lovingly at her. "Yes, melda, I will be singing tonight."

The three cheered. "Mama said we could stay up if you were," Auna, the youngest, confided. She hugged Frodo once more and then the three settled down near their parents.

"How many names do you have here?" Sam asked.

Frodo grinned. "Tecindo means scribe. Those three were in the library with their teacher, working on their tencele, their spelling, when I first met them. I was deep into my research for your gift and didn’t even notice them at first, but then I become aware that I was being stared at and whispered about. Once they got over their shock of seeing a non-Elf, they became a joy to be around. Eruanna and Halarin are twins, 800 years old, and Auna is 600."

"And what did you call me? Nerae?"

Frodo’s smile widened. "The Brave."

Elrond approached now from the front of the Hall and nodded to Sam. "Well met, Panthael. We are glad to welcome you at last to Tol Eressea and back to your master’s side."

Sam bowed deeply. "Thank you, my lord. I am very glad to be here."

Elrond nodded again, smiled at Frodo who bowed and smiled back and then glided away back to the front. Gandalf come in as well and sat down near them.

"Are you getting your fill of Elves, Sam?" the wizard asked with a smile.

"I don’t think I’ll ever be filled, Mr. Gandalf. This is a wonder to behold and no mistake."

"That it is. Iluvatar’s glory shines through everywhere here, not the least of all in His children. You are right at home here, Sam."

"It feels like it too," the gardener said. "But I suppose that’s because my Frodo’s here. I don’t think it would be the same otherwise."

Frodo smiled softly and took his Sam’s hand. The gardener’s fingers curled around his brother’s and then all conversation stilled Galian moved to the center of the Hall and began to sing. Sam didn’t understand a word, but he didn’t ask. He just listened as the melodious voice washed over him and through him and he was very content. Others came forward, both male and female.

Frodo looked as rapt and luminously shining as any Elf there. "They were singing airelinna, hymns, holy songs, to Elbereth and the other Valar and to Iluvatar," he said softly.

"A lira, Tecindo! A lira! A lira!" the three elflings chanted after the last bit of the last voice faded away into the silence.

Frodo smiled at Sam. "I am being asked to sing."

He stood up, smiled at three children, then began to sing in Westron. His eyes did not leave Sam’s the whole time and the light and love inside him flared up.

"Sail on, fair ship, fast o’er the ocean,

And through the darkness hasten west,

While soothed by your unceasing motion,

My loved one takes his rest.

"Ah! I cannot see the morning,

Yet e’en in the night there is hope for the dawn;

And while that hope, though faint, is burning,

Sail on, fair ship, sail on.

"My love has done no deed in battle;

A greater sacrifice was made;

‘Twas not by might or clashing mettle

The Dark One low was laid.

"Ah! I cannot see the morning,

Yet e’en in the night there is hope for the dawn;

And while that hope, though faint, is burning,

Sail on, fair ship, sail on.

"Vigil o’er you I am keeping,

While you are rocked upon the seas.

Sweet and blessed be your sleeping;

Rest now, be at peace.

"Ah! I cannot see the morning,

Yet e’en in the night there is hope for the dawn;

And while that hope, though faint, is burning,

Sail on, fair ship, sail on."

Frodo came back to Sam and wiped at the tears his brother hadn’t even been aware had been tracking down his cheeks. Then he held him very tightly. "I heard you sing me that song all the nights I was abroad. I couldn’t thank you until now."

Sam returned the embrace, not wanting to ever let go, but Frodo did at last, smiled at his brother and then returned to sing once more, this time in Quenya.

Sam listened with rapt attention to that beloved voice, but finally after some other Elves had also sung, he lost his battle with his fatigue and his eyes closed, joining the three elfling friends of his brother who were leaning against each other or a parent’s side, all wrapped in slumber themselves.

Frodo brushed each fair head with a kiss and a murmured goodnight. Auna roused enough to hug him and whisper ‘Goodnight,’ before falling back to sleep again. The hobbit then lifted Sam into his arms to take him home. Galian offered his assistance.

"He’s not heavy," Frodo assured. "He’s nothing but love and light. And he’s carried me more than once. I am happy to at last return the favor."

The elven hobbit smiled his goodnight to Gandalf then left with his two brothers. Once he had Sam settled into bed, he looked tenderly at his slumbering dear one. "He’s been taking care of me since he was nine years old and not one day has passed in all that time that I have not felt that care. Not one day. I wish I could think of some way to properly thank him, but I know I could never do it well enough. He has ever been my light in darkness, my own heart and soul, even more than my cousins have been."

"He has served all that time out of love, melda mine," Galian said. "That type of service desires no thanks."

Frodo looked at his friend. "I still want to do it. I want to serve him, but he won’t let me."

Galian smiled. "He takes his joy out of serving and loving you. Let him continue to do that."

The Elf then lifted his beloved friend into his arms. Frodo wrapped his legs around his friend’s waist and embraced him tightly. "Fume vande, titta calmar," Galian murmured.

"Fume vande, halla calmar," the hobbit said softly back.

They broke apart and Galian left. Frodo turned back to Sam, very gently got him into his nightshirt, then curled up beside him. "I can never thank you enough, but hantanyel, ammelda, hantanyel." he said softly and kissed his brother’s brow. The last thing he felt was Sam’s arms wrapping around him as he settled his head against his beloved guardian’s heart.

A/N: Melda mine is dear one, titta is little, halla is tall. Fume vande is another way to say Sleep well. The song to Iluvatar is adapted from the much larger Second Kneeling Prayer said at Pentecost in Catholic churches of the Byzantine Rite. Frodo’s song is, of course, from the queen.