26 ~ Engagement

Mr. Cotton, Mrs. Cotton and I are standing to one side, watching as Sam stands in front of Rosie, looking at her shyly. I smile at him when he glances over at me for support. He talked with Mr. Cotton nearly all day yesterday, explaining how he would provide for Rosie, and how I have offered them a home at Bag End. At first Mr. Cotton was a little concerned about me thinking they had taken advantage of me, but Sam explained to him that he was needed by my side. Mr. Cotton has always liked Sam and knows how much he and Rosie love each other, and he whole-heartedly agreed after that. Sam looks a bit nervous, but he quickly swallows his fear. Then he takes a deep breath and says it.

“Rosie, would you marry me?” he asks, searching her face for a sign of her answer.

She smiles and squeals happily, throwing her arms around Sam’s neck and kisses him. He seems surprised, but is smiling radiantly when she pulls away.

“I thought you’d never ask, Sam Gamgee!” she cries. “I haven’t been waiting all this time for nothing. Of course I’ll marry you!”

Sam smiles, and for a moment I see in him a brilliant light, shining like the phial of Galadriel. I smile a little to see if, remembering the times it shone for me on the Quest and how Sam’s light kept me going.

But after a moment it fades and he is once again just my Sam.

Mr. Cotton turns to me and says, “They’re so happy they’re glowin’!” He looks shocked.

I only smile back.

* * *

Sam’s belongings were all brought up to Bag End yesterday, only a week after I moved in. I wanted to give him Bilbo’s old room, the master bedroom, but he settled for one of the larger guest rooms close to my room, saying it didn’t feel right taking Mr. Bilbo’s room, even if Bilbo wasn’t coming back.

I close my eyes in the darkness of my room, wondering how much different things are going to be when my best friend is married.

Wanderer is curled up by my head, and I know he will keep me company at nights when I’m frightened, but I can’t help but wonder if Sam will still know instinctively when I need him or when I’ve had a nightmare. I wonder if he’ll still want me to calm him after his own terrifying dreams, or if that will be Rosie’s job now.

As I continue wondering, the door to my room creaks open and Sam comes to sit on my bed. He searches my face for a moment, then says, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking about?”

“And what’s that?” I ask, scooting over to give him room.

“Thinkin’ of how things’ll change once I’m married,” Sam replies, blushing as he says it.

“Yes,” I say. I look down at my hands, then glance up at him questioningly.

“T’won’t be too different,” Sam explains. “I’m still here when you need me. Rosie understands.”

“She is your main priority now,” I remind him.

He nods. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to forget you,” he assures me.

“But what about you?” I ask him. “Will you still need me?”

He gazes at me a moment, then moves to sit beside me and gathers me in his arms. “Of course!” he says. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

I smile. I like being needed. I lay my head on Sam’s chest and say, “I’m so proud of you, Sam.”

“For what?” he sounds confused.

“For finally asking Rosie. And for knowing when was the right time. I’m so happy for you,” I whisper. A pang of sadness flows over me for a moment when I realize again that I am never going to marry and have many children filling up my empty home. But I am happy for Sam, and I hope he and Rosie will have enough children to make up for it.

“What are you crying for, love?” Sam asks when I realize that tears are falling down my face. I wipe them away quickly and sniff.

All I wanted growing up was to be as good a father to my future children as my father was to me before he died. Now all my dreams are gone, and my soul with them. I look up at Sam, hoping he understands what I am unable to put to words. He does.

“I s’pose things are already more different than we wanted,” he says, holding me closer.

I nod, thinking suddenly that perhaps any new changes will be a good thing. I may not ever marry, but I will be with my brother and his family for as long as I am in Middle-earth, and I realize that no matter what changes, there are no other people I’d rather be with.

* * *

I wake up late the next day to the sound of dishes clanking in the kitchen, and take a moment before I remember that Sam lives here too, now.

I smile, rise, and get dressed to meet him out in the kitchen.

“Whatever you’re making smells good,” I say coming up behind him and giving him a quick hug.

“Are you hungry? There’s plenty here,” he says, indicating the pan he has over the stove filled with scrambled eggs, mushrooms, and various vegetables.

“I am a little hungry,” I say, wondering exactly how much I mean by a little, and hoping Sam won’t notice if I eat less than he normally sees me eat. I don’t want him to worry about me. “Can I help Sam?” I ask.

He looks as though he’s going to protest, so I quickly say, “Please?” and give him a pleading look.

He concedes and says, “You can get the table ready, then.” He smiles at me as I hurry to get it set.

I notice Wanderer laying at Sam’s feet, purring and almost asleep, for the first time looking completely relaxed in Bag End. I smile as Sam tries to walk towards the cupboard and nearly trips over him.

“Darn cat,” he says, smiling through his words. Wanderer just looks up at him drowsily and yawns before padding over to me and rubbing himself against my leg.

“Do you know, I believe that’s the first time I’ve seen him fall asleep here without his eye trained on me,” I say, glancing up at Sam in sudden astonishment.

“Is it, now?” he says, grinning. I meet his gaze, and his eyes tell me, “I told you there is hope for everyone, Frodo Baggins.”