Chapter 4: Beginning to Heal

It was a month later that Sam took Frodo’s walking stick from where it had stood forlornly by the front door all that time and went on a trip past all his brother’s favorite places, stopping at each to remember and to cry a little and then to smile. He increasingly felt that he did not walk alone, that Frodo was beside him, smiling, laughing, teasing with such love in his voice and eyes that Sam stood for a long time just looking and listening to what his heart saw and heard. If anyone had seen him, they would have shaken their head and wondered at the solitary hobbit that stood staring into space, but Sam knew he was not alone, that he never would be. The ties of friendship and love did indeed stretch far enough to reach across the Sea as Frodo said they would. Nothing would sever them.

The last thought before he closed his eyes each night was the same thing he had said every night his brother had been with him, Goodnight, dear. Sleep well. I love you. And each night he heard, I love you, too, my Sam and then he’d be able to sleep, immensely grateful that at least one thing had not changed when everything else had.

Six months after that day, Sam stood at the edge of the dock at the Grey Havens, looking out to the Sea, to where he had said goodbye half a year before. Gulls wheeled and cried in the sky, the Sea lapped against the dock and Sam’s heart was at once torn by longing and eased by it all. Before this place had been a place of desolation, but now it seemed to be a place of hope and even healing.

Hullo, dear, are you well? he asked in the silence of his heart and awaited the answer he knew would come.

Yes, dearest Sam, I am beginning to heal. When you come, I will be well again.

So will I then. I can’t wait to see you and hold you again.

Nor can I, my Sam.

Sam watched the water for a long time, simply enjoying being the closest he could be to his brother physically, then he began to softly sing.

“The water is wide,

And bright are the stars o'er the grey flowing sea.

I'm thinking of you, dear, wherever you may be.

“The water is deep,

And long are the days since your face I have seen,

And many the tears I have shed for your going.

I love you, though the sea lies between,

Though the deep rolling sea lies between.

“I stand on the shore,

And I gaze at the ocean, so wide, deep and blue.

I weep as I wonder, oh why did you leave me?

“I stand on the shore,

I stand and I list to the song of the sea.

O wait for me, dear one, and do not forget me,

For soon I will come, to thee;

I'll come o'er the ocean to thee.”

A breeze caressed Sam’s cheek. Oh, my Sam, that was beautiful. I have missed your songs. I’m so glad you are well enough to sing once more. I love you so much.

The humble gardener did not notice Cirdan the Shipwright at first, smiling at him, but then he did and he blushed furiously that his simple attempt at singing had been noticed. Now the Elves, they could sing! he thought.

So can you, my brother, so can you.

Sam then returned the smile. He’d return to this place one day, and he knew the Elf would be there to take him...

Home, my brother. I’m teaching some of the Elves Westron and they and Bilbo are teaching me Quenya. And then I’ll be able to teach you! It amuses me to hear them speak our language, as I’m sure I amuse them with my Shire accent and their words! Oh, Sam, I just can’t wait to welcome you here!

Sam could hear his brother’s laugh and laughed as well, overjoyed to hear such. It eased his heart so much. To anyone else, it would seem he laughed to himself, but Cirdan knew very well he did not.

I love you and miss you still so much, too, but you never really left me, did you?

Sam felt Frodo’s loving smile, saw the same shining from his eyes. No, dearest heart, just as you have not left me. Live your life, Sam, then come. I will still be here. I have begged that favour of Iluvatar and I have the greatest hope that my prayers for that and for your healing and mine will be answered.

The voice was full of peace and a quiet joy, as it had been before the Ring stole so much from him, and Sam’s heart was eased to know that his brother was finding the peace he so desperately needed.

He nodded to Cirdan with a smile. The Elf returned both and then the hobbit left with Frodo’s prayer of hope echoing in his mind. He met Rose and took her by the hand and Elanor in his arm.