XII

Legolas turned and saw that Elrohir had fallen behind.

"Roh!" he cried as Elrohir pulled alongside him, breathing hard, face pale.

Elrohir nodded, and Legolas could not help noticing the wild look in his eyes, the way he was almost bent over as he ran.

"Stop, Roh. "

Sighing in resignation when Elrohir ignored him, Legolas pounced on him and sent them both crashing to the ground.

"We must have shaken them off!" Legolas said to the venomous look that Elrohir threw at him as he started extricating himself from the tangle. "Besides, I bore the brunt of that fall!" he continued, rubbing the side of his hip.

It was a few minutes before Elrohir caught his breath and trusted himself to speak.

"I can go further!"

"There is no need!" Legolas said, tending to a graze on his upper arm where an arrow had narrowly missed him.

"It is nothing, Roh, I am quite alright, although my sleeve is probably not!" he said, as Elrohir looked at his wound in alarm. "The creatures had such bad aim they would have a better chance of hitting us had they not been aiming for us!"

"Why did you stop?"

"Firstly, because you have yet to make a full recovery from your injuries, and running for another day is hardly the way to bring that about. Second, if we continue this wild flight, we will be even more lost than we already are. Thirdly --"

"I know!"

"Listen, Elrohir, it was not your fault!" Legolas said. "If anything, I was the one who left you alone and asleep."

"Why did you come back for me?"

"What?"

"You should have gone to Glorfindel instead of coming to my aid! He was less than a day away!"

"Roh, what are you saying? I came back to the camp to see you missing, and you ask why I did not abandon you? Who do you take me for?"

"And you thought you could take them alone? It is not a game, Legolas!" Elrohir said, trembling.

Legolas rose violently from the ground and walked up to Elrohir. He closed in on Elrohir, body shaking with rage.

"You think I was playing hero?" he said, voice cold and furious, and for a moment Elrohir believed he was going to strike him. But still, his stubborn streak refused to back away.

"Glorfindel was only a short distance away!"

"Is that what you would have done?" Legolas said, still quivering.

"It is not the same!"

"I fail to see why!"

"Valar, Legolas, do you not understand? It was not me the Orcs wanted! It was you! The Dyrian is after you! They asked me whether I was the Prince of the Silvan Elves!"

"You pretended to be me, Roh, why?" Legolas said, finally understanding why the Orcs had been referring to Elrohir as the Elven Prince as he had snuck up on them and launched his assault.

Elrohir continued staring at him, deep eyes unblinking.

"I thought I could buy you a chance, Lass, so they would not search for you whilst you ran to Glorfindel for help. Now, they will be hot on our trail instead, and we are lost, far from Glorfindel!"

"You are hiding something, Roh, what is it?"

"I met the Dyrian lord, Legolas, he was there!" Elrohir started shaking. "He asked me where the Nawarthor was. I refused to answer him, and he touched me."

Legolas let out a cry and caught Elrohir as he crumpled to the ground.

"I have never felt such pain, when he placed his palm on my cheek! I was paralysed with fear, and cried out. I saw, in my mind's eye. I saw Nana, her broken body! I heard the taunts of her torturers! Heard her screaming!"

Legolas pulled Elrohir in closer, stroking his back, his own eyes wide with horror.

"When he let go, I had not the strength in me for anything, and fell to the ground, unable to speak. He laughed and told me it would be worse the next time should I refuse to answer him again. That I would see the deaths of all those whom I love."

"I am glad I got to you then," Legolas whispered into Elrohir's ear, before resting his chin upon his head.

"He told me it was my fault that Nana suffered such a fate!" Elrohir said, fighting back his tears. "That it was my fault she had to leave for Aman, alone!"

"Hush, Roh, do not listen to him!"

"You must not fall into their hands, Legolas!" Elrohir cried. "Do you understand why?"

Legolas shook his head in confusion as Elrohir turned to stare at him.

"What do they want from me? I have nothing! I do not even know what this Nawarthor is!"

"We must return to Glorfindel!" Elrohir was almost crying with fear and panic.

"I am here, Roh, they will not get me!" Legolas said. "Rest. While the sun still shines, they can make no move on us. We shall find our way back to Glorfindel tonight!"

"Promise me something, Legolas."

"What do you ask of me?"

"They think me to be you. Let them continue believing this no matter what happens!"

"I cannot do this!"

"This is the only way, Lass. Only by doing this can we be sure they not succeed!"

"You think I have something they are after?"

"No matter what they may want, it will be for the better!"

"You do think there is a reason they are after me!"

"Would it make it any different if I did not?" Elrohir said. "It remains that they think you have something useful to them! What I do know is that it is imperative we get back to Glorfindel! We should walk for the rest of the day in order to reach them!"

To his surprise, Legolas nodded, not bothering to fight him.

"Roh, whatever happens, I will not let them get at you again." Legolas said.

***

Elrohir jolted awake with a start, and found that his head was resting on something soft, which would explain why he thought he was at home. He tried to blink the tiredness away from his eyes as he realised that he had fallen asleep, his head on Legolas's outstretched thigh. He moved looked up to see that Legolas was still asleep, propped up against a tree trunk.

The movement caused Legolas to rouse from his slumber, and he took in Elrohir staring up at him.

"Refreshed, Roh?" Legolas yawned, before smiling down at a still confused Elrohir.

Elrohir's eyes widened in sudden realisation and horror filled him. He struggled to rise, only to be pushed down by strong arms.

"Hush, Roh, 'tis me, fear not."

Calming down, Elrohir said, "Ai, Legolas. I am sorry, I did not mean to fall asleep! You should have woken me!"

"Nay, Roh, why are you apologising? It was better this way anyway."

Elrohir's eyes widened again before he realised that Legolas was referring to the nightmares that had plagued him since his capture and subsequent flight, images of his mother and her torturers.

"I am sorry, did I disturb your sleep?"

"Do not be, for were you not the one who held on to me every night in Imladris as I woke up sobbing and screaming? If anything, you slept better this time around, and you need the rest more than I do!"

Elrohir fell into an appreciative silence as Legolas continued playing with his raven locks.

"Furthermore, 'twas rather amusing to listening to you attempt to hold a conversation whilst asleep!"

"What?" Elrohir's face burned as he tried to recall what they had been talking about. The last thing he remembered was a conversation about which of their kingdoms had the more bothersome of formal robes, and that Legolas seemed to be gaining an upper hand in the argument. "What did I say?"

"Not much that I was able to make sense of! Something about a chicken and mayhap an empty goblet!" said Legolas, enjoying the increasing redness of Elrohir's face. "Why are you blushing, Roh? What secrets have you that are not fit for my ears?"

Elrohir scowled and said, "Some thoughts mayhap about your culinary skills!"

"You could at least show some gratitude for my attempts!"

"Attempts to save or kill, Legolas?"

Legolas laughed, and then suddenly turned solemn.

"I am confused, Roh."

"What do you mean?" Elrohir said, getting up and pulling himself into a seating position, before breaking off a slice of lembas and offering it to Legolas.

"The Orcs seem to always know where we are. They passed by near the cave, and managed to capture you! And yet, Gallenon was specifically giving them misleading information!"

Elrohir scowled. He knew where his feelings stood on this.

"You believe there to be a double-crosser?" said Elrohir with what he hoped was a casual air as they got to their feet and started walking.

"No!"

"When will you learn to stop trusting everybody? Trusting bears and wolves not to tear off your limbs, while admittedly foolish, is not the same as trusting every human you meet!" Elrohir said. "There are some in this world who would do anything to gain power!"

"You speak of men as if they had the plague!"

"What do you know about the failings of man?"

"And you are speaking as if you are the foremost authority?"

"Elbereth, Legolas! The curse of Man flows in my very veins! My grandfather was mortal! I know how it feels to carry blood of the doomed in me!"

Legolas looked away.

"I feel their fallacy in me, their pain! It is something you will never understand! There is so much weakness, Lass, that you do not know or feel! Men are always hungry, and it is this hunger that makes them dangerous!"

"Are you, Roh?"

Elrohir stopped, stunned by Legolas's question.

"Milinral once said it is what makes them beautiful."

"And what do you think, Legolas?"

Legolas looked surprised. "I think it makes you special. You are lucky to know something of the failings of Man. The first-born do not understand the feeling of being born to someday age and die. It must make life so much more precious."

"You too are precious, Lass."

"I was born as an answer to the prayers of a people broken by war and loss, I was their hope. My birth was to have guided them back into the light.

"I envy Esendri. He can do as he pleases, but yet he chooses to stay by my side," Legolas said, unable to stop now that he had started spilling his feelings to Elrohir. "I envy Man, for he is able to embrace his doom and his curse, while I remain here, bound to a destiny I was born to, bound by chains to be one that I am not!"

Elrohir gave a heavy sigh, then said, "I thought of choosing the route of Man once."

Legolas turned and stared at him.

"I thought I could embrace the end, cast away the shackles that bind us to this earth."

"When was this, Roh?"

"When Nana sailed West."

"I am sorry, Roh. I forget that you too lost your mother; forgive me."

"I was persuaded to stay, because Ada needed me by his side, as did Dan. They made me stay, because I knew I wanted to be with them as they fought the evil that walks on this earth! Yet, I could not forgive, I could not forget, and so Dan and I went about satisfying our bloodlust, killing every goblin we could find. The numbers rose from ten to a hundred to a thousand, and still we pressed on, feeling we would not rest ere they all lay dead before our feet. We slaughtered them, and felt nothing, neither the rush that comes to us when we have defended our homeland from destruction, nor the satisfaction at having defended a loved one from danger.

"It was many years before I realised that anger could not remain embedded in us, that a family's love too could keep our hearts beating."

"Do you still think about choosing it, Roh? When your pain grows too much?"

"Nay, not since then had I given it a second thought. There is much that still bids me to stay."

"That is good to hear, Roh."

"What are you thinking?" Elrohir picked up the abnormality in Legolas's tone in the way that only he could.

"About what I would do should I to come across Nana's tormentors. What would you do, Roh?"

"The bloodlust that Dan and I felt has since been washed away and we do not hate as intensely as we once did. Why ask you this?"

"I never knew what happened to Nana. Think you that when I meet this Dyrian lord, that I shall see Nana's death as you did?"

Elrohir cupped Legolas's slender face in his palms, forcing their eyes to meet.

"It will never come to that if we continue letting him believe that I am you!"

"But I cannot allow you to suffer in lieu of me!" Legolas cried, distressed.

"If anything, Lass, think of your mother! She will not want to see you hateful and vengeful. Think of how her death would have been in vain if you act rashly and foolishly!"

Elrohir knew he had said something wrong the instant the colour drained from Legolas's face.

"What did you say? You know something, Elrohir! What do you know? Tell me!" Legolas grabbed Elrohir's arms and shook him with each word.

"Legolas, please --"

"Tell me!"

"She died defending you!"

Legolas's jaw clenched tighter.

"What do you mean?"

"You were attacked, and your mother fought off your attackers! They wanted you, and she gave her life in exchange for your freedom! Do you not understand, lass tithen? That you must never fall into the hands of the enemy! There is something that they want, Lass, some hurt they wish to levy upon you, and that is what we must try to protect you from!"

"No!" Legolas cried, trying to work free of Elrohir's hands that still held his face. "What madness! I do not believe it! Adar told me she was slain by unknown assailants in the still of the night!"

Tears filled the grey eyes, while the blue ones remained staunchly dry. Elrohir pulled the stunned young one closer to him, pressing the fair head to his chest, feeling the stiffness of the slender body.

"I am sorry, Lass, we thought it for the best you did not know."

"Why was I not told?" Legolas said, his voice muffled as he struggled to bring some normality back into his thoughts. "Why?"

Elrohir placed a kiss on the crown of Legolas's head, a simple gesture that held all the love he had for the Elfling he had saved all those years ago, who had grown to become a friend, an equal.

"You used not to be able to sleep ere I kissed you thusly," he said.

A wave of gratitude flooded over Legolas. Elrohir was so steadfast in his concern, so stable in the friendship he provided that often left Legolas wondering at its limitless boundaries.

"Hannon le, gwador. Thank you, brother." Legolas said. "It is because that was what Nana used to do. You gave me the closest thing to what I felt whenever Nana was around. Even now, whenever I am with you, I always know that no harm will come to me, that I am safe in your arms."

"I am glad to be able to offer some comfort."

"I just wish you were always by my side."

"I am here now, for better of worse, Lass. Will you not smile for me now?"

*****
Sindarin Translations:
Nana/Naneth - Mama/Mother
Lass tithen -- little Leaf
Baw -- No
Hannon le -- thank you
Gwador -- (sworn) brother