CHAPTER 16

Estella had known she was going to get cornered by her mother for a scolding sooner or later. It had been obvious to Rosamunda from the moment they arrived that her daughter had known all along about Pippin’s broken leg, and Merry’s presence at the Great Smials. But it didn’t matter now, because they were already there. So she was not surprised at all as she sat at the dressing table in her guest room brushing her hair when her mother came to the room.

“Estella, why did you not tell me that Meriadoc was here?”

“Because at first I did not have any reason to. His letter was to me, not to the family. I did not know then that we would be invited to come to the Great Smials.” She had no intention of sharing her correspondence with Merry with her mother.

“You could at least have told us of Pippin’s accident! After all, we *are* family!”

Estella flushed. That part probably was true. But it had been easier just to say nothing.

“Estella, I am well aware that you do not like to confide in me. I don’t understand why you are so secretive with me; after all, I am your mother. But you carry it beyond all reason--it was very embarrassing to arrive and have everyone assume that I already knew what was going on. I’m sure that Eglantine thinks I am some sort of half-wit, the way I reacted to some of the things she said. Perhaps you do not care for appearances, but you will find as you get older that they are more important than you think. I am half-tempted to turn right around and go home tomorrow.”

Estella was not the least bit alarmed by this threat. She knew that once her mother was here, she was not going to leave before she had to. It had always stung Rosamunda that however prominent a family the Bolgers were, they were behind the Tooks, the Brandybucks and the Bagginses. It was one reason her mother did not object to her attachment to Merry, or Angelica Baggins’s to her brother. She would see those alliances as steps back up the social ladder for her children.

“Well, Mother, we are here now. And I am glad to see Merry again, and won’t pretend I am not.”

Rosamunda shook her head and sighed. Estella was far more Tookish than her mother ever had been, for all that she was half Bolger. She would feel sorry for young Meriadoc taking her on, except that he had plenty of practice in managing Tooks.

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“Well, Merry, I would say that today has not been a total waste. You seemed rather pleased, at any rate.” They were back in Pippin’s room and preparing for sleep.

“Thanks, Pip.” His gratitude was heartfelt. He had not known until the minute he saw her face just how much he had been missing Estella.

“Don’t thank me, thank Mother. She sent the invitation.”

“Because you asked her to. I know Aunt Tina is not fond of Rosamunda Bolger.”

“But she *is* fond of her favorite nephew.” Pippin sighed. “Now if I could solve my own problem so easily.”

Merry shook his head. “I know Diamond’s interested in you as well, Pip. You only have to look at her expression to know that.”

“Well, it seems that way. But then she won’t give me the time of day unless she’s having to take care of this--” he gestured at his broken leg. “I don’t understand.”

Merry leaned back against the headboard, arms behind his head, as he thought. “You know, Pip, that might have something to do with it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, generally speaking, it’s considered bad form for a healer to get involved with a patient.”

Pippin looked puzzled. “I never heard that.”

“Well, it’s not something that often would come up, is it? Healers usually don’t get involved with *anybody*, much less patients. You know how rare it is for one to get married. I know Diamond is still an apprentice, and really, you are her mistress’s patient, but I would not be surprised if she is thinking about that.”

“Oh.” If this was true, it put a whole new complexion on the problem. If she thought that it was wrong for her to return his interest, then would it be fair of him to keep after her? But he had never wanted to go after anyone quite like this before. He couldn’t give up, even if he ought to.

“Let’s sleep on it, Pip. Maybe we’ll think of something. G’night” And Merry blew out the candle.

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In the healer’s cottage, Lavender watched her apprentice cleaning up the kitchen after their supper. They had eaten late, after having come in from checking up on some patients.

“You are awfully quiet this evening, Diamond.” Lavender had a good idea of what was troubling her apprentice, but she was not going to broach the subject until Diamond did.

“I’m just a bit tired, Mistress Lavender.”

“Ah. Well, lass, in that case leave the rest of this. I’ll take care of the rest when I’ve finished my tea.”

Diamond looked about her. There were only two small pans left to wash, and the table to wipe down. “Very well, Mistress. I will go on to bed now.” She wrung the cloth out, and hung it on the side of the sink, and went out with a sigh.

Lavender watched her, and gave her own sigh. “Ah, Peregrin Took, you have a lot to answer for,” she muttered to herself. She really hated the idea of losing so promising an apprentice.

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The following afternoon, Merry and Estella went for a walk in the garden. Pippin had Pimmie and the little lasses keeping him company. Rosamunda and Eglantine were discreetly trailing the young couple. Eglantine was keeping Rosamunda a bit farther back than Estella’s mother would have preferred to be.

“I’m glad you came, dear,” said Merry.

Estella blushed. “I’m glad I came, too. Have you been all right?”

He looked at her sharply. “Who’s been talking to you? I don’t want you worried.”

She shook her head. “No one *talked* to me, yet. But your cousin Frodo did write to me. He thought perhaps you were having a difficult time.”

Merry chuckled ruefully. “I guess I would be a fine one to complain about someone else worrying over me, hmm?”

She laughed lightly. “Your title as champion worrier is still safe. But you have to give others a little credit as well.” She took his hand. She didn’t care if her mother did see. “Merry, please talk to me. I need to know some of the things that haunt you, I need to understand them as much as I can. We will be sharing our lives, and I want nothing left out.”

He stopped walking, and moved his hand away. “I would rather it be a new beginning. We don’t need to carry those dark things with us.”

“Merry, how can we know where we are going, if we don’t remember where we’ve been?”

“I’ve told you some of it.” His voice was flat.

“Not the worst. And you have glossed over a lot of what you did tell me. I am nobody’s fool, Meriadoc Brandybuck.”

He looked startled. “I have never thought of you as a fool, Estella! I just want to protect you!”

“You do protect me in many ways. But I don’t want to be protected from your thoughts or your dreams. Don’t you know that if you don’t tell me the truth, I will imagine much worse?”

“Let me think about it, dearest. I don’t believe I can bring myself to talk about it now. But I’m not just putting you off. I need to collect myself.”

She nodded, and took his hand once more. Even getting him to consider telling her was a small victory.

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Pippin had been spending some time with Pimmie and his oldest niece Flora, while Merry was with Estella. He was feeling a bit bereft. It had been his own idea to bring her here, and she was definitely good for Merry, but she was cutting into the time he had with his cousin. And that would not be such a problem either, if he could only get some time with Diamond!

He had been thinking over what Merry said, and remembering the times he had seen her. He was beginning to believe that his cousin was right, and that she was avoiding him for what she thought were good reasons. But were they really? That was what he had to decide, before he made any more attempts to gain her attention.

“Unca Pip!” an insistent voice broke into his thoughts. “Unca Pip! What do now?”

“I’m sorry, Flora sweetest. Here, put your hands out like this--” he was trying to show her how to play at a simple cat’s cradle. She giggled as he pulled her hands apart, and the string figure appeared.

“Here, watch this one.” He took the string and passed the loop behind his neck, and then holding the ends between his fingers at the front, he pulled his hands quickly apart.

Her eyes flew wide. “Oh! Magic!”, for it gave the illusion that the string had passed through his neck. She reached out and touched him where the string had been, as if surprised to find his head still attached to his body. “Do again, Unca Pip!” She stared at him intently, her expression one of great concentration.

He laughed, remembering when Merry had showed him how to do this. Had he been any older than Flora was now? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he had been very young.

Just then the door to the sitting room opened. It was Diamond, and Pippin’s face brightened to see her. Pimpernel smiled. By now, everyone in Pippin’s family was aware he was interested in her. But Eglantine had firmly ordered her daughters to stay out of it unless their brother *asked* for their help.

“Hello, Pippin. Are you up for a visitor?”

He nodded, and she came in, opening the door wider, and he saw behind her his cousin Opal. Diamond stood aside, and Opal maneuvered her way in on her crutches.

The two lasses entered the room, and Pimpernel quickly stood, so that Opal could have the chair she had been sitting in, next to Pippin.

“Hullo, Opal,” said Pippin amiably. As always he felt a difficult mix of emotions on seeing her. He felt a bit guilty because he had not always liked her (though she had not *been* likable before the accident) and because he felt in some obscure way that he had some of the blame for what had happened, though Merry told him often enough that was ridiculous and that all the blame squarely rested with the Bankses. He also felt pity, that she should be so maimed, and admiration for the way she had handled it.

And today, seeing her, he also felt extremely lucky--what if his leg had been broken as badly as hers had been? He tried not to shudder at the thought; he would not want her to think that he was repelled by her.

“It’s good to see you, Pippin,” Opal responded, almost shyly. She seldom ventured out of Reggie’s apartment yet, so this visit was a momentous one for her. Diamond stood protectively behind her friend’s chair. “I thought I would break in my new crutches with a bit of a walk.”

He smiled at her. She was definitely an improvement over the old Opal. He pondered how the tragedy had benefited her. “I suppose I will have to be getting myself a set of those sometime soon.”

“Well, I would offer you my old ones,” she laughed, “as they were too long for me. But I think they would be too short for you.” Standing behind her, Diamond chuckled, a throaty sound that caught Pippin’s attention and made his spirit soar.

“Ah,” he said, “that’s a sad thing for them, either too long or too short and no in between.”

Just then, little Flora, who had retreated behind her mother’s skirts when the others had entered the room, suddenly peeped out at Opal, and then walked over to her. “Opa’ look!” She held up her chubby fingers with the loop of string, and attempted to make the cat’s cradle Pippin had showed her. Unfortunately, it did not succeed. Her little lip trembled, and tears welled up. She turned to look at her uncle.

He held out his arms, “Come here, little flower, Uncle Pip will help you.”

She went over to him, and he gently helped her to fix the string.

Watching, Diamond felt her heart give another treacherous lurch.

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Walking down the passageway toward her guest room later that evening, Estella was thoughtful. She hoped that she could soon get Merry talking about the things he feared.

As she passed by a small room sometimes used as a spare study, she noticed the door ajar. She thought she heard a whimper. She stopped, and glanced in, to see Diamond seated at the little desk, her head pillowed on her folded arms, and her shoulders hitching. She heard a sniff, and she impulsively entered the room.

“Diamond, are you all right?”

The healer’s apprentice jumped as if stung. She sat up abruptly and wiped her eyes with her arm. She took a deep breath and started to deny any problem, except it suddenly occurred to her how ridiculous it would sound when Estella had caught her crying.

She shook her head, instead, and the tears welled up once more.

Estella strode into the room and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

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