7. Muddling On Along

It was a relief when the last bottle of beer was finished and the song ended. Sad to say, the concert continued. The reluctant audience realized it was another repetitious song somewhere in the midst of the second verse. '...just now. Just now I cracked it open, cracked it open just now.'

'O no,' Boromir said softly as the song continued to drift over from the cluster of hobbits, Sam and Pippin joining in as the words were fairly easy to take hold of. 'It was rotten, it was rotten, it was rotten just now, Just now...'

Song followed song. Time passed with no signs of the music abating. Just after Gimli took Aragorn's place on watch the hobbits seemed overcome with uncontrollable laughter, and the unwilling spectators by the fire began to listen in spite of themselves, only to hear utter nonsense spouting from the diminutive singers.

Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Minas Tirith soldier,
Do your ears hang low?

As if this wasn't bad enough, they began on another verse.

Do your ears hang high, do they wobble in the sky?
Can you tie them in a knot, can you bake them in a pie?

At last, as this absurd song ended and another began, Gandalf rose abruptly from the fireside, to walk over to the hobbits. The song broke off and Pippin looked up nervously. 'G-gandalf?' he stammered. 'Is there something we can do for you?'

'I think we have had enough of your delightful serenade, my lads. You will need to rest now, for we will be moving on again at sunset.'

Pippin nodded vigorously. 'O yes, G-gandalf, certainly.' Turning to his cousins, he exhorted them to snuggle under the blankets and rest.

Returning to the fire, Gandalf chuckled under his breath.

Aragorn fixed him with a keen eye. 'Peregrin thinks you plan to turn him into a toad.'

The wizard nodded thoughtfully. 'Ah, yes.'

'Do you plan to correct his thinking anytime soon?'

The corners of Gandalf's mouth quirked. 'I would hate to disillusion him... besides, I imagine he will be on his best behaviour for another day, perhaps two.'

'Ah.' The Ranger nodded wisely, as did Boromir and Legolas. Gimli snorted softly from nearby, where he stood watch.

Merry was bowing to the other hobbits' clapping. 'Thank you very much,' he said in a peculiar voice, and then said, 'I would like to thank my mum, for her undying faith and support, my fellow cast members, the members of the Academy...'

'Tell it to the marines,' Frodo broke in, then yawned abruptly.

Samwise was immediately solicitous. 'Here, Mr Frodo, lie down here and let me cover you up,' he urged.

'So I nearly bit the dust?' Merry asked, suddenly feeling sleepy himself, as he watched Sam tuck a blanket around Frodo. 'Almost snuffed it?' 

Frodo nodded slowly. 'Yup,' he said, yawning again. 'Nearly bought the farm. Gandalf came in the nick of time.' His eyes closed even as he spoke.

'Hot diggety dog,' Merry murmured. 'Trust Gandalf to save the day.'

'Darned tootin',' Frodo answered without opening his eyes. 'Dadgum if it wasn't the awesomest thing I've seen in a dog's age.' He took a deep breath and relaxed into sleep.

Pippin collapsed against Frodo's side and was quickly snoring. Merry sank gently down against Pippin, and Samwise, blinking owlishly, made sure that all were securely covered before rolling himself in his own blanket up against Frodo. Soon blessed snores took the place of the earlier... ummm.... music.

The hobbits slept through the rest of the day, rising refreshed and ready to travel as the sun was setting. They had another filling meal of venison, then packed up the camp. Aragorn checked the hobbits over and pronounced all but Merry completely recovered.

'You can say that again, Uncle,' Merry yawned. 'I feel like crap.'

'What was that, cousin?' Frodo asked, placing a gentle hand on Merry's shoulder.

'You know, like I've been run over by a bulldozer,' Merry elucidated.

'You're not feeling well, yet?' Frodo asked.

'Isn't that what I just said?' Merry asked.

'No,' Frodo answered. 'At least, I don't think so.'

'What we have here,' Merry said slowly, 'is a failure to communicate.'

'Yes, cousin,' Frodo said patiently. He looked up at Aragorn. 'Strider, what's to be done?'

The Ranger knelt to look the Ring-bearer in the eye. 'We will take turns carrying Meriadoc this night,' he said. 'After a full day's rest tomorrow he ought to be fully recovered and fit to travel.'

Boromir stepped up. 'I'll take the first turn,' he said.

Merry whistled shrilly, waved a peremptory hand at Boromir. 'Taxi!' he called.

Boromir smiled and lifted him.

'Upsy-daisy!' Merry said.

'Indeed,' Boromir agreed.

The rest of the party shouldered their packs and began to walk. Merry began to sing softly. 'Pardon me, boys, is that the Chattanooga Choo-choo?' At least it was a pleasant enough tune, and not as annoyingly repetitious as the earlier songs had been.

The respite was brief, however, for all too soon Merry had returned to one of the earlier songs. 'Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer...' Boromir joined in, harmonizing nicely, and the song followed them across the leagues and into the night.

'How long does it go on?' Frodo muttered to Samwise, who was too discrete to answer.

Pippin, however, had no thought of preserving Frodo's dignity. 'You ought to know, cousin, you sang every blessed verse along with Merry this morning.'

'No!' Frodo protested.

'O yes,' Pippin said earnestly. 'Every one.'

Frodo turned to Sam for defence against this blatantly false charge. 'He's joking, isn't he, Sam? I cannot believe...'

Sam shook his head sadly. 'I'm sorry, Mr Frodo,' he said miserably. Frodo was left speechless.

Finally the song ended. A collective sigh was heard from the rest of the Company. Then the next song began. Being another repetitious song, Boromir quickly picked up on the words and tune, and the harmony followed them as they walked the night away.

The ants go marching one by one, halloo, halloo
The ants go marching one by one, halloo, halloo
The ants go marching one by one, the little one stops to suck his thumb
And they all go marching DOWN to the EARTH to get OUT of the RAIN, bum bum bum...

*THE END*
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