3.

Legolas Thranduilion, oftimes called The Green Knight, to be known in the future as Thranduilion-married-despite-himself, Ithilien

To Bandobras Took, son of Reginard, liberator of wine-barrels, in whose hands lies the future of bovine husbandry, Crickhollow

My Dear Bandobras,

Is this not an astonishing thing, that a letter from you to me should reach me within six weeks?  The system our friend King Elessar has arranged, whereby couriers run along the roads in preordained segments to deliver letters from one stop to another, is a mark of the genius he has displayed to all of Gondor and Arnor in the execution of his duties in both government and thought, and surpasses any system I have ever seen, barring my father's of course – which does not count, as Elves possess greater stamina, and can carry letters for longer distances without rest.  Meglinidar has just returned from Dale, and says the network of prearranged roads and courier-stops is growing, carrying letters from the king in the south to his vassals in the far north and west with such rapidity that the conventional excuses for ignoring a sovereign's demands are rapidly falling by the wayside, and minor officials are scrambling for new reasons to withhold both tithe and allegiance.

My dear Little One, how I wish you were here!  The olive trees are heavy with fruit, and the vines sag beneath the weight of the grapes; it shall be a harvest bursting with bounty and goodness.  When I go out into Ithilien and see its shimmering wheat fields, the low green squares plush with plenty, the maids in their aprons and kerchiefs bearing baskets overflowing with ripe peaches and apples, the yoked oxen eating the fresh chaff from the millstones, I rejoice with my friends, for the horror and privation of last winter is but a distant memory, and we shall have abundance and prosperity once more.  The blight which spread from Rohan and Lamedon to sweep through to Pelargir and the Pelennor destroyed so much that was good and lovely, and it burned my soul to go to Araval's keep, and see the withered stalk, the thin cattle, the twisted and blackened branches of his fiefdom.  Fortunately for Minas Tirith and its surrounds, the power of the Elves held it off, and our silos were adequate for ourselves, but as you know there was great hunger in the land, for we hoarded our foodstuffs and distributed it to those who needed it most, depleting our stores and depriving ourselves in the process.  But so far as we can tell the blight has run its course, and Hador has informed us when last he passed through Osgiliath that Araval's fiefdom in Tarlang blossomed like a maid's blushing cheek in the springtime (his simile perchance was born of his own prospects, a noble-born maid named Mathaiel, whom Araval tells me is Hador's current favorite) and throughout the summer we have had consistent reports that his and Hallas' fields prosper well and things bode comfortably for this autumn.

Please inform your cousin Meriadoc that King Éomer's kingdom reeled and stumbled, but did not fall, from the famine; fortunately the grasses in the plains proved resistant to any disease and the horses and cattle were untouched.  The folk, however, suffered dearly, for all their grains were taken, and a good number of their wild animals too, upon which they depended for their meats; apparently the small deer who live in the hills near the Eastfold ate of the low berry bushes there and were taken ill, so that many died, their bodies decaying upon the ground in great herds, the only creatures benefiting from the debacle being the carrion-fowl.  But Éomer proved wiser than most kings in this, for he took notice of the dearth of game and visited these lands himself; upon descrying the great number of rotting carcasses he ordered them to be burned forthwith, thus most certainly preventing a pestilence.  We have sent to them all we could spare from our storehouses, and Lady Lothíriel did tell me when last we spoke that the periannath of the north in Eriador proved most generous in their sending of grain and smoked hams to those people.  Never let it be said that there is no love between race and race!  It astonished all in Rohan, including Gimli's folk in Aglarond, that the Little People of the Shire would think so highly of strangers to the south that they would part with their own bounty to save unknown children from starvation.  And Cousin Meriadoc did tell me the missive sent by King Éomer to the Thain in Tuckborough was put on display at something he called a mathom-house.  Do you know what this could be?  If so, dear Bandobras, please do you explain it to me; I am unclear as to why a king's letter of thanks would be sent there; is it a sort of library?

Speaking of letters, though truly I do not wish to, I received one from my father last week, which has so rankled within my bosom I feel as though my heart has turned sour, and I desire neither food nor drink.  Indeed Kaimelas has despaired of my ever enjoying food again, so greatly did this news distress me.  Do you remember, dear Bandobras, what I said in my last letter to you, that my Lady Mother did desire me to be wed, and had charged Galás with this task?  Well, she has turned my father's opinion upon itself, though by what means I know not, nor do I think it wise to know; now my Lord Father has informed me his wish is that I find a bride to aid in my rule here, and he has sent to me several names and letters patents of maids he considers "suitable to one of your exalted rank" (by which, no doubt, he means "worthy to wed the progeny of Oropher of Lindon") and bid me choose one by winter!  Bandobras, what can I say to this?  My father and mother did not meet ere they wed, for it was the will of their parents to join them together thus uniting Greenwood; to them it seems just and reasonable to request their son choose one of these unknown Elven maidens, poor creatures they are, who have been selected like plucked hens by a butcher and set on display for my perusal.  In fact my parents probably consider they are being generous with me, that I am given the choice between these five, and not simply told, "There, Legolas, you shall marry THAT one – "  In truth, I would rather have been betrothed at birth, so that I could get used to the idea for several centuries before leaping headlong into the matrimonial cauldron.

I must needs read you some extracts from my father's letter – truly it is a masterpiece of parental hegemony, though I shall spare you the worst bits, which even now cause me to squirm with imagined culpability and remorse, no doubt brought on by memories of the many misdeeds committed in my misspent youth (which, I assure you, were greatly exaggerated by my companions).  Alas for my poor father!  I shall not yet relate to you, my Bandobras, the depths of depredation to which I sank, not out of malice but of mischief; I shall leave that 'til you have safely achieved your majority, and seem to have outgrown your predilection for constructing mayhem.

Firstly he reminds me of the many years I spent alone with my troops, far from the pleasures and comforts of his hall, while we fought the evil creatures bred in Dol Guldur; how he regrets that, he says, that I missed so many feasts and dances and festivals!  "There, surely," he writes, "you ought to have found your heart's lady, when your soul was pure and untouched, and your spirit free of the fetters of the sea-longing – "  Bandobras, I lived for many centuries in my father's court; I know every single maiden who lives therein as well – how is it my youth and innocence would have capitulated such a one into my arms, when now I obviously possess no qualities to so attract them?  "Your Lady Mother and I deeply regret your duty causing this emptiness in your days, the fulfillment of which is also an obligation – "  Note you that, Little One; an obligation it now is, that I find a bride.  Then he spends five full paragraphs describing to me, in tedious detail, the work my Lady Mother has done, in the nurturing of the people, the standing of the court, the function of diplomacy, "the mere presence of so great an Elven Queen, which causes the stubborn mortal heart to falter, softening it to such a state that disputes are but a memory that fail before the gentle power which from her emanates in grace and gentle glory."  I wonder, my Bandobras, if she dictated that part?  If not I am positive he read it back to her; such accolades would have her purr like a kitten.  "Dol Galenehtar is a large demesne, a scattered people in a strange foreign land, in which knights and warriors may wander, but the families needed to strengthen its borders necessitate a feminine presence in the court – "  That is why I requested my Lady Mother's maids to come; I am aware of that.  And do I not have Lady Éowyn but a half-day's ride from me?  Often she and her noble husband visit us, and they sit beside me upon the dais and hold court – King Elessar and Queen Undómiel as well; is that not a sufficiency of womanly grace?  Indeed when they are both present there is so much grace in the room it is a wonder any of us can speak.

I apologize, my Bandobras, for inflicting this upon you; in truth I am so bemused I do not know what I should do.  And worse, Gimli is away from me, in Rohan seeing to the rebuilding of the walls at Meduseld, so that I have no sympathetic ear to which I may turn, and am constrained to rely upon your own little ear, though it is painfully far away from me, and I am all the more desperate to see you once more.

I hope that Peregrin marries quickly, and that Meriadoc's baby comes – I am very anxious to hear that you have begun your journey, and that I have something besides matrimony to look forward to.

I had put this letter down for some hours, being interrupted by Kaimelas, who informed me I had a visitor in the hall; do you know, it was the Yellow Knight himself!  He and sundry retainers had ridden up from Langstrand, on their way to pay obeisance to the King in his court, and I have just come back up to my rooms after speaking at length with him over a cup of wine.  To him I poured out all my troubles, and he, no doubt one of the wisest men I have known, did ponder my predicament for a while, and said he would think upon it, but to him my best endeavor would be to write forthwith to my Lord Father, saying I had considered the maidens selected, and found none of sufficient interest to change my mind upon the subject of matrimony.  It is not a permanent solution, he pressed upon me, but it ought buy us some time.  Elbereth bless Cirien of Langstrand!  Though now I think on it, this was the only solution open to me at this stage, and I am mortified I did not come up with it myself – I am addled, no doubt, by my disquiet; were I to fret less perchance I should think more clearly.

I shall leave you now, with many assertions that the Yellow Knight be remembered fondly to the esquire of the Green Knight, and many delightful stories and tales told of your people to him and to his folk, which serve to entertain and distract them from their worries – but that is a tale for another day, and it grows late; already Galás has come to me twice telling me the feast awaits its lord, and I am recalcitrant.  Ah, and here is Kaimelas holding open my best robes, and bidding me brush my hair – I leave you then, dear Bandobras, to whatever bedlam your clever little mind may concoct.

Your loving Master,

Legolas

P.S.:  It was a trap!  I had to break my seal and reopen this letter to tell you – Kaimelas dressed me in such finery, for there were four strange Elven maids of Imladris present at the banquet, whom he and Galás were endeavoring to impress with my beauty and availability – I beg of you, come to me quickly, ere I find my grandfather's sword, and so dispatch my seneschal and valet both!

L.