A/N: In “A Mid-Year’s Walking Trip,” Merry and Frodo discovered that Sam and Pippin had an unusual pact: if Pippin was able to behave himself while staying at Bag End, Sam would send him home with treats to enjoy until his next visit. For her birthday, Dreamflower requested a follow-up story, wanting to know when, and if, that pact ever ended.

#12: What Goes Around

Merry is 58, Pippin 50, Fenton 21, Théodoc almost 16, and Faramir 10. (About 41, 32, 13, 10 and 6 ½, in Man years.)

Afterlithe 1440 SR
 

Diamond was frazzled and very nearly at her wits end. Why she had thought she could entertain such a gathering on her own was beyond her. She should have listened to Estella and enlisted the kitchen staff to prepare the food like she normally did. She had wanted to do everything herself though, and she was now regretting what could only be considered an irrational whim of her quickly-approaching confinement.

Her sisters-in-law and Estella were helping, bless them. Pimpernel and Pearl and her two daughters were breezing expertly around the kitchen, and Estella and Pervinca were bravely tackling the destruction in the formal dining room.

Now, if only Diamond could find her firstborn. Faramir was being far too quiet, and that was never a good thing, especially when his favorite cousin came calling. The two of them together could tear apart the Shire if they had half a mind, and they’d laugh and sing tirelessly the whole while.

Diamond walked into the parlor where her husband, her three brothers-in-law, and the seven youngest children were gathered. Pippin had their soon-to-be middle child, Bergil, sitting on his lap. The four-year old was looking up at his father with wide brown eyes, as absorbed as everyone else as Pippin spun a tale from his and Merry’s latest venture to Rohan. Pippin was greatly enjoying the telling, which sounded much more elaborate than the version Diamond had heard the week before. Pippin always enjoyed being the center of attention and his audience was hanging onto his every word. He could easily spend the next hour or more right where he was and never notice the time of day, but Diamond did not have to wait long for his attention. Pippin felt her presence the moment she entered the doorway, and turned to greet her. One look at his exhausted and very pregnant wife had him on his feet and to the doorway within a heartbeat.

“What is it, gem?” Pippin asked with concern. “Are you not feeling well? Do you need to lie down. Are you worried about the others arriving shortly?”

Diamond shook her head, even though she was tired and indeed worried about the others yet to come. They had a full smial already: Merry, Estella and two of their three children, Théodoc and Niphredil (Peridoc had stayed home with hay fever); Pearl and her husband Aldard Hornblower, and their three children, Liliana, Clover and Alaric; Pimpernel and her husband Fendon Burrows, with their two sons, Fenton and Bardobras; Pervinca and her husband Everard Took (a dear and old friend of both Pippin and Merry), and their twin daughters, Summer and Dawn. On top of that, Samwise and his large family were set to arrive soon, fourteen total right there, and they would be bringing Estella’s brother Freddy and his wife Mentha, with their son Archibold and their daughter Cliantha. It was only by great luck that Folco, his wife and their five children would be unable to attend.

Diamond’s head spun whenever she thought of the number of mouths she would soon be feeding, so she pushed the thought aside and focused on the uttermost of her concerns. “Where is Faramir?” she asked. “I’d like the lad to be presentable when the others arrive, even if he will be a mess again five minutes later.”

“Merry took him and Théo outside,” Pippin answered. “They were a bit wound up and needed to run about a while. I’ll fetch them. Are you certain you don’t need any help? I could stop by the kitchens on my way.”

“I’ll manage,” Diamond insisted. “Just get our son washed up if you can, and don’t forget that you and Merry are to speak to your sons about their behavior before the day is done.” She turned into the parlor and raised her voice to the company. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’m depriving you of your storyteller.”

The children responded with disappointed exclamations. Their fathers did their best to entertain them with their own stories of less grand and more mundane adventures, that managed to grab the children’s attention all the same. Pippin handed Bergil to Niphredil, then beckoned Fenton to follow him before heading out the door.

Diamond retreated back to the kitchen and found everything in order there. She promised to be back shortly, then continued into the dining room, which was finally beginning to look presentable again after its earlier adventure. The experiment must have been Théodoc’s idea and naturally Faramir had eagerly accepted recruitment. What the purpose had been, she didn’t know, but it had involved a great amount of honey, syrup, molasses, glue and confetti, and had covered nearly all of the dining table. Some had even dripped onto the chairs and floor. She hadn’t thought it would ever get cleaned in time. Thankfully, Estella and Pervinca were masters at cleaning up messes, and one could hardly tell to look at it now that everything had been covered in goop just a few short hours before.

Diamond smiled gratefully at her friends and sighed with relief. She might just survive this night yet. Her son, on the other hand…  

Pippin and Fenton emerged outside Great Smials and blinked into the sunlight. “They’d be by the trees,” Fenton assessed, and sure enough, Pippin spotted Merry off in the distance under an oak, leaning against the bole with an unlit pipe in hand. Neither of their sons were in sight though.

Fenton and Pippin made their way up the steep slope. “Have you nodded off on watch?” Pippin asked lightly when he was close enough to be heard.

Merry looked over and grinned, then pointed upward with the stem of his pipe. “We have squirrels in the family tree, did you know?” he said as Pippin and Fenton came to stand beside him.

They all three looked up into the branches. All that could be seen of the two lads were two pairs of furry feet attached to swinging legs.

“Fam,” Pippin called up. “The Mayor will be here soon and you need to make yourself presentable. Let’s get you down and washed up. You too, Théo.”

Snickers filtered down to the ground, but no other sign was made that Pippin was heard.

“Théo,” Merry tried now, “you bring your cousin down now.”

“But you said we have to stay out here until we run out of energy, and we haven’t done that yet, Father,” Théodoc rationalized from above.

“Then I am amending my original proclamation,” Merry said, sounding very much the Master of Buckland. “By order of the Thain and Master, you’re both to come down from this tree this instant.”

“Dad,” Théodoc said, and both Merry and Pippin could tell from his tone that the lad was rolling his eyes skyward.

“Five more minutes? Please, Da?” Faramir pleaded now, in his tiny whimpering voice that never failed to make his father see reason.

“Very well,” Pippin relented, “but that’s all you get. Fenton will be timing you.”

“Fen!” the lads cried, just now becoming aware that their favorite older cousin was there as well. “Come up and join us.”

“And put a tear in my best breeches?” Fenton said as Merry handed him his pocket watch. “I think not.” He flipped open the watch and read the time. “You have four minutes and fifty seconds.”

“Ah, Fenny, be fair,” Théodoc said. “Cousin Pippin meant five minutes for each of us.”

“I’m still standing here,” Pippin said, chuckling under his breath.

“Five minutes for you both then,” Fenton agreed. “And now you both have four and-a-half minutes left.”

Merry laughed now also and patted Fenton on the shoulder. “Bring them in when their time is up, lad, and see they’re presentable.”

“Yes, Cousin Merry,” Fenton agreed. He would have no trouble getting the lads out of the tree and inside. They listened to him more steadily than they did their own parents and he was often called upon to keep the lads from arguing too much – no easy task, especially when Peridoc was there to irritate his brother.

Merry and Pippin left the lads to their play and walked off a short distance to a nearby tree, whose bare roots offered them a place to sit without getting themselves dirty. Merry sighed and cupped the bowl of his pipe. “When did we become the grown ups?” he asked bemusedly.

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it,” Pippin answered. “I’m certain that Frodo had something to do with it. He was forever getting us into things.”

“Then he sailed off before he could be questioned for his crimes, the scamp,” Merry agreed. “At least we learned one thing from him: when you want your children to do something, send a cousin.”

“Ah, yes. My parents were always sending you to get me, and your parents would send Frodo, and we never saw the trickery in it. Not until we had our own children who wouldn’t listen to us, and even then I didn’t see it. It wasn’t until around the hundredth time I had sent Fenny out to grab Fam in that I realized what I was doing,” Pippin added. “Parents are devious things.”

“I never would have guessed it, but you’re right. They were quite devious. I suppose they had to be, to survive raising us,” Merry replied. Then he laughed and nodded his head toward the tree that hid their sons. “That was a good experiment they had going.”

“Yes. I wonder which one would have dried first.”

“The glue would be my wager. It’s meant to dry quickly,” Merry reasoned.

“I don’t know. I think the molasses would have dried faster,” Pippin argued.

“Just because it’s thicker doesn’t mean it will dry quicker, Pip,” Merry countered.

“Hm, well, the honey would be best to see the confetti through at any rate, followed by the syrup,” Pippin put in.

“The honey would have dried last, I think,” Merry continued, pondering the matter seriously.

“No, it would have been the syrup,” Pippin said. “Honey is solid already in beehives, but syrup is runny even inside a bole.”

“Too bad they couldn’t have finished their experiment.”

“Too bad they got more honey, syrup and molasses inside them and on their clothes than on the table.”

“You know what we need?” Merry said with an impish grin. “We need a Sam, someone to bribe them with treats and make them behave when we aren’t around.”

Pippin shook his head emphatically. “No, that would not be a good idea.”

“Why not? It worked on you,” Merry pointed out, but Pippin only shook his head again, all hint of humor gone. “Why wouldn’t it work?” Merry asked, his curiosity peaked.

“It might work for a while, but it’ll get us in the end,” Pippin answered evasively. He ran his fingers through the grass and avoided eye contact, reluctant to explain even though he knew he would have to eventually.

“Oh? How so?” Merry asked.

“Well, remember Aunt Heather and Aunt Amber?” Pippin asked, stalling.

“How could I forget them? They once washed my mouth out with soap just for shouting in the tunnels.”

“Be glad that’s all you ever did to offend them.”

“Pippin, are you going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to get it from your sisters?” Merry asked. “Is this about the time you, Everard and Ferdi mooned them?”

“No. No, this was much worse.” Pippin sighed. He may as well get this over with.  

It was the summer of 1413. You remember that summer – we went camping with Frodo and Sam in Bindbole Wood and you nearly got us all eaten alive by wasps.

“They were yellow jackets, and you were not nearly eaten alive.”

Merry, please, I still have the scars.

“Scars? You were only bitten once!”

Don’t interrupt. It’s rude.

As I was saying, that was the summer you discovered my secret pact with Sam – that if I refrained from eating Frodo out of hole and smial while I was at Bag End, he would send me home with treats as a reward. That was the summer he made me cinnamon rolls, my very first – and my very last – at least until I came of age and Mother could no longer control my diet.

You see, it was my mother’s custom to have the family over for a few weeks after the Free Fair and I returned on the last day of their visit. Pearl and Aldard were there, and Liliana was just a bairn then, fifteen months almost. Fendon was over for the very first time that day, having just started courting Nell officially.

Aunt Amber and Aunt Heather were over also naturally, making Vinca and I miserable with their rigid rules. Mum and Da couldn’t have been happier of course, because ever since the mooning incident, I was too afraid to cross The Aunts and always behaved when they were around. What they didn’t know was that I had my own way of dealing with their stringency: Sam’s treats.

Now, as you may recall, the deal was that I was only allowed to eat one treat per day, and I always followed that rule. But, the way I saw it, one day with The Aunts were like two days with anyone else. So I went to my room, snuck the cinnamon rolls from my hiding place under the floorboards near my bed, and ate them both.

Oh, Merry, they were so delightful, and Sam had even put strawberry cream icing over them, thick and gooey and dripped all down the sides and in between the folds. They were absolutely divine. I tried to eat them slowly, take small bites, so I could savor the moment, but it was no good. I gobbled them down in under a minute and pouted that I didn’t have any more.

Now, as you may also recall, Mum was forever saying that I became an uncontrollable fiend whenever I had too much sugar, and so she was forever forbidding me from eating sweets. I never understood what she was talking about. True, I might get a tad bit hyper from time to time, but never so out of control as she always claimed. I always figured she was just overreacting, like she did at times, and so I didn’t think anything would come of me eating both the cinnamon rolls in one go.

Now, before I go any further, I should explain that Aunt Amber was a master seamstress and was always making elegant gowns and dresses, with hats to match and all that. One year, she outdid herself and designed a dress so fancy and beautiful that it even won a prize at that year’s Free Fair, and she wore it only to the most special of occasions when she wanted to look her most impressive. As this was to be her first time meeting Nell’s suitor, and since we were to be eating in the formal dining room, she decided to wear the dress.

“So you did something to the dress then?”

I didn’t do anything to the dress.

“Then why are you telling me about it?”

Because, I have to set the scene.

Now, where was I? Ah, yes! So, dinner was over and there we were, all of us sitting in the parlor interrogating Fendon as we waited for the attendants to bring afters. Da said we were ‘just getting to know him’ but we were really interrogating him. The Aunts especially could get anything out of anyone just by looking at them, and they had poor Fendon sweating up a storm under their scrutiny.

Liliana was playing on the floor, scooting herself around and grabbing at skirt hems. Vinca was sitting between Mum and Da on the settee under the window. You remember the one – with the little ledge and all the knickknacks and whatnots on them, including the one that Mum got from Grandmum Banks before she passed. It was a small glass-blown sparrow with a rose stem in its mouth, and it was even painted, though how they did that, I have no idea. It was her most cherished gift from her mum, and she valued it above all else.

“So then something happened to the sparrow?”

Are you going to let me tell the story or not?

“Go ahead then.”

Thank you.

Pearl and Aldard were sharing the divan, and The Aunts were sitting in the two stuffed chairs near the entryway in front of the hutch, where the ornamental plates were stored. Nell and Fendon were sitting on the other settee, keeping themselves a respectable distance apart.

I was on the floor with Liliana, trying not to bounce about too much or chatter up a storm, or twitch or fidget or run around, or anything else I tend to do when I get hyper. After all, I didn’t want to give myself away or get in trouble. I thought I was doing a good job of it, mostly playing with Liliana, helping her roll around or scoot about, or playing peek-a-boo.

Everything was going fine, except that Mum gave me a few cross looks for no reason and Aunt Amber clucked her tongue at me, and Da even said my full name at one point, when all I did was toss a little sac ball to Liliana. Granted, I may have got a bit carried away and may have accidentally tossed it at her face instead of her lap, but it didn’t hurt her. She even laughed. So there was really no reason for Da to get so cross.

Then Fendon said something, I don’t remember what, but it made Aldard and Da laugh for all they were worth, but none of the lasses found it particularly funny – except Vinca of course. The Aunts looked downright scandalized, and Fendon turned as red as a ripe tomato ready for the picking. He was about to be picked apart too, once The Aunts recovered from their shock. Luckily for him, the attendants came in then with afters – butter biscuits and vanilla pudding with boysenberry sauce dribbled over the top – and trays of tea and mulled cider.

Mum refused to let me have any afters and I was left to myself as Pearl took Liliana for her feeding. So I took the sac ball and started tossing it up in the air. That got boring after a while, so I stood up and tried kicking the ball in the air with my feet, which was harder. The third time the ball went astray, it nearly knocked over the glass sparrow. Da took it then and tucked it into his pocket, and Mum told me to sit still and behave myself or I’d have to go to bed early. So I sat still, but that got boring too.

I started digging through the bairn’s toy bag and found a box. I shook the box and could hear something rolling around inside it, but when I tried to open the lid, the latch was caught and wouldn’t open. So I thought I’d shake it a bit as I was trying to pry open the lid, you know, for the extra momentum.

Meanwhile, Fendon was still stammering about, trying to make amends to The Aunts for whatever he had said, and for the most part, he was succeeding.

Everyone finished their afters, but The Aunts wanted seconds, so Fendon offered to get them some. He stood up and was acting quite formal about the matter, when all he was doing was carrying more pudding bowls to them.

Just at that moment, I got the latch to give and the lid popped open. I stopped shaking the box, but not in time. The marble inside all but jumped out of the box, sailed across the room and hit Fendon right in the back of the head. He was knocked forward, tripped over the rug, and stumbled forward before falling right off his feet. The pudding bowls flew out of his hands, hitting the hutch behind The Aunts. The glass pane cracked, the pudding bowls broke and vanilla pudding and boysenberry sauce dripped all over Aunt Amber just as Fendon landed face first in Aunt Heather’s bodice. And can you believe it – they punished me!  

Merry roared with laughter, tears of mirth springing to his eyes. For a long while he could do nothing but gasp for air. “You said… you said… you didn’t do anything to the dress,” he finally got out.

“I didn’t,” Pippin said, a bit miffed. “Weren’t you listening? Fendon was the one who dropped the bowls.”

“So what happened then?” Merry asked, still chuckling and wiping tears from his eyes.

“I was sent to my room. Da came later and I had to give up my secret. They wanted to know where I got it all from naturally, but I couldn’t give up Sam, so I told them I snatched it from Great Smials last time we were there.”

“And?” Merry goaded, sobering slowly and wiping tears from his eyes. Knowing Paladin, that couldn’t have been the only punishment that resulted from that incident.

“I spent the rest of the summer living with The Aunts at Great Smials, cleaning their rooms top to bottom every single day, running errands for them, and helping Aunt Amber make a new dress,” Pippin answered sourly.

“I’m sorry, Pip,” Merry said with a shiver. A summer alone with The Aunts? Merry couldn’t imagine it.

“That wasn’t even the worst part,” Pippin said, interrupting his friend’s thoughts.

“It wasn’t?”

“No, the worst part was going to visit Frodo that autumn for his birthday. My parents came along to see me there safe, and they told Frodo that under no circumstances was I allowed to have any treats, and he was to check my pockets and my bags to make sure I didn’t sneak off with anything. And wouldn’t you know it, Sam was just outside the kitchen window doing his weeding, and he heard the whole thing. So that was the end of that,” Pippin concluded.

A sudden movement under the oak drew their eyes, and they looked over just as Faramir and Théodoc dropped down from the boughs. To their dismay, both lads had managed to smudge their clothes and disarray their hair in just the few short minutes they had been outside. Their wives would not be pleased.

Fenton pocketed the watch and raced the lads down the hill toward the Smials. With Fenton goading them, the lads would be squeaky clean and freshly pressed within minutes, and hopefully neither of their mothers would see them in their current state.

“Maybe if they did the experiment out in the stables,” Pippin mused.

“We’re not supposed to be encouraging such behavior, Pip,” Merry pointed out. “We’re going to have to punish them.”

“I know, but Fam pouts and I can’t stand it,” Pippin said with reluctance. How had his parents managed to punish him and his sisters so many times throughout their youth without feeling guilty? Or, maybe they had felt guilty but punished them anyway. “I suppose a day or two working with the cleaning maids ought to do the trick, but we’ll wait until after supper to tell them?”

Merry nodded and squeezed Pippin’s shoulder supportively. They pulled themselves up and started down the hill. Merry was silent, contemplating, then nodded with affirmation and returned to the previous topic.

“You know, I thought a lot about that deal Sam made with you when I first learned about it,” Merry said now. “I know Sam could be a bit rebellious in his own way at times, but never with whom he thought were his betters. Considering that we now know how devious parents can be, I’d be willing to wager that your parents knew the whole time what Sam was up to.”

“Do you think so?” Pippin mused and looked at the pact in this new light.

“When did this deal start anyway?” Merry asked.

“I was visiting Frodo with my parents one spring, and they were upset with me for always begging for more sweets and Frodo was upset with me for eating his pantries bare,” Pippin said, realization suddenly sinking in. “My parents went out to the garden to discuss what to do with me – I know, because they had that look about them – and when they came back in, Da was chuckling and Mum was fretting. Then the next day, Sam comes in and out of the clear blue, he offers to sneak me the treats. … They did know! They put him up to it!”

“Shall we confront Sam when he gets here?”

“Yes, we shall. And if they did put him up to it, and he went along… What do you say we conclude that experiment while Sam’s asleep?” Pippin asked, a hint of devilry sneaking into his eyes.

Merry shook his head emphatically. “No, that would not be a good idea. You’ll have Diamond upset with you, our sons would use that as reason not to go along with their punishments, and I promised Sam I’d play no more pranks on him. Unlike some other hobbits, I keep my word. Besides, you’ll have Rose to reckon with come morning, and she’s not one I would wish to see angry.”

“Good point,” Pippin said and shrugged. “I suppose there’s nothing for it but to try and make him feel guilty about the whole affair.”

Merry laughed. “If you can accomplish that, I’ll eat my weskit,” he said and followed Pippin inside, to rejoin the company and await their friends.
 
 

The End
 
 

GF 7/01/05