Notes on the chapters:

Chapter 1: I Want To Remember

Most of the time when I write a fic, I am usually dealing with many of the things in the fic. When I wrote the first chapter, I had just gotten in an argument with my own Adar and was feeling the aftermath of it. The pain of arguing and the anger over arguing, though it wasn’t as harsh as Legolas and Thranduil arguing, the one sentence...

The words were like a cold knife to Legolas’ heart. He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.

Was what I felt personally as well as the “You cannot win his love.” I was in a very morbid mood when I wrote that and even now I can still feel the pain that I felt. It was a heartbreaking chapter that is still very personal.

If you noticed something familiar about the whole “You’re my child!” It was taken from the Patriot starring Mel Gibson and Heath Ledger and a whole ton of awesome actors.

Chapter 2: If Only, If Only

The words “If only, if only..” I think are a part of everyday life. If only I would have done this then that wouldn’t have happened. If only I would have gone here instead of there. If only I would have made a left turn instead of a right. I wanted to portray the helplessness and the wish that if only he had done something, something different would have happened. In his mind only though.

Chapter 3: Escape from the past:

Many times I think even surrounded by our closest friends and family, we can still feel so utterly alone. Though Thranduil had his son by his side, he still felt so alone. I often wonder what it would be like, to be married for so many years then to loose your partner, to have to relearn to sleep alone in bed? To look for your loved one and not find them? I cannot even imagine it and the simple thought fills me with a sort of sadness and a hope that that is something I will never have to face.

A few people wanted to know why Legolas wanted to escape and well it might just be me, but I find that I hate confrontations and the later the better. Though often it hasn’t worked that way. :-P

Chapter 4: The Truth Sometimes Hurts

I have found that often I can be going through several mental and emotional pain and no one else will know it. I kind of wanted to show that Thranduil was oblivious to many of his son’s pains not because he turned a blind eye, but because Legolas hid most of it from him.

I have always felt that Faramir was somehow mistreated by Denethor and for this fic I was shocked to realize that there was a possibility of using my two favorite characters at last:-)

I think the realization that Legolas didn’t actually kill his mother was heartbreaking, even though I wrote it. A few were half afraid that Legolas did kill his mother out of pity and her suffering too much. But no that wasn’t the case. You can feel like you killed someone without laying a finger on them.

Chapter 5: Remembering the Past

Ok shocker here. This wasn’t a part of the original piece, that I wrote. This actually came from a question from LAXgirl ( I still can’t believe she reviewed me:-) She wanted me to sort of clarify about Legolas getting wounded and such.

Chapter 6: Healing for the Future

I changed this around a bit from the first draft, but not much. The whole accident part wasn’t in there and I felt the other piece I had in there was just a little too cheesy.

I have always loved the song “Holes in the Floor of Heaven.” It’s a country song but I can’t remember the artists name. The one line goes. “Cause there’s holes in the floor of heaven and her tears are pouring down. That’s how I know she’s watching wishing she could be here now.” Thought I didn’t have the rain, I hope the sunshine, the light breeze and the warm embrace helped that along.

The Flashback was the only thing I did not change. I loved it from the first draft, I only spell checked and switched a word here and there. I have two younger brothers and so I could easily find the ease to write that scene.

The ending “No, I’ll love you until the day I die.” Is actually taken from the Swan Princess also at the very end when Derek (finally!) proclaims his love for Odette. Those lines stuck in my head and though my story has father and son, not true love with true love I found that it still worked.

Songs used:

Understanding (Wash it all away) by Evanescence

Songs listened to while writing:

Numb by Linkin Park Easier to Run by Linkin Park Hello by Evanescence Bring me to life by Evanescence My Immortal by Evanescence Return of the King Soundtrack

Thank you to all who have read and to all who have also reviewed. While I won’t get all your names here please know that I thank you from the deepest part of my heart.

Special Thanks to Sparrow Greenleaf and Blaise for helping me writing and inspiring me along the way.

And here is a possible sneak peak for a new LOTR fic... Let me know what you think!

AU – Character Death

As the ship slowly neared the shore, elves rushed down to the sandy beach to see who had at last arrived. Legolas Thranduillion and his friend Gimli had arrived nearly five hundred years earlier and all where curious to see who had come.

Two identical heads appeared and a cry of gladness arose. The Sons of the Elrond had at last come home.

After many hugs and tears they had settled down and were asked many questions about Middle Earth. It took them nearly a week before they were allowed to ask questions themselves. And their chief question was:

“Where is Legolas?”

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Yes it is a Character death, something that I never thought I would do, but I will be writing and if you want sneak peaks along the way just add me to your Yahoo! Or MSN messenger and I will be happy to give you some:-) Until then!