Disclaimer: See default chapter

Chapter 4: The truth sometimes hurts

"Sire! There are several elves who demand to see you." A guard bowed in the hall after rushing towards the guardian and king. "One says that he is King Thranduil of the Eryn Lasgalan Realm."

Meldar and Aragorn exchanged surprised glances. They had not expected the king so soon.

"How many other elves are there?" Aragorn questioned, his legs already carrying him quickly to the throne room.

"At least twenty My Lord." The guard replied. "Also Lord Faramir has also returned, and he asks to see you immediately as well." The guard hesitated. "He asked that you see him before you do King Thranduil."

Aragorn stopped. "What?"

"That is his request sire." The guard said uncomfortably.

Aragorn frowned. "Did he say why or give any reason?" The king pressed.

"No sire." The guard replied.

"Very well." Aragorn continued on. "Send Lord Faramir to me first."

Very quickly entering the throne room and sitting down, Aragorn gestured for Faramir to come in.

He did so very hurriedly and gave a short bow. He had been to Henneth Annuin for a couple of days after Aragorn had practically forced him to take a short leave of absence.

Faramir did his job with a vengeance that left little un-done, but because of all the reports, papers and other things, Faramir would often not go to bed until mid-night or later and would often wake up sometime even before the sun rose. And more often that not, he would either skip eating or forget about it entirely was he so engrossed in his work.

So Aragorn had forced him to take a couple days leave with his ranger's. "Sleep under the stars and eat over a campfire." Aragorn had said, gently forcing the younger male to leave.

In the end Faramir had resisted and Aragorn had watched triumphantly knowing that the ranger turned Steward would come back refreshed and the lines under his eyes would have disappeared.

He was right, as usual. Though Legolas would have scoffed at him for saying so. But looking at the re-freshened Steward before him, Aragorn knew that the few days of chaos without the Steward had been well worth it all.

"My Lord." Faramir gave a short bow and a grin.

"Faramir." Aragorn acknowledged. "How was your trip?"

"Exceedingly well thank you." Faramir grinned a bit bigger, then sobered. "But I was going to ask you why you let Legolas leave without being fully dressed?"

"WHAT?!" Aragorn shouted coming up off the throne and quickly ran down the steps. "Where did you see him?"

"Headed south towards Ithilien." Came Faramir's response.

Aragorn groaned. "And with Thranduil at my front door too." He sighed, rubbing his forehead. He knew why Legolas had ran, escaping from the palace and the confrontation with his Adar, but...

He thought quickly. "Guard, send King Thranduil in."

He turned to Faramir. "We will talk about your trip later." He promised. "Can you send a guard after Legolas? Don't stop him, just make sure he gets to Ithilien alright and make sure to send some extra bandages along."

Faramir nodded, already listening medical supplies that Legolas might need.

"Thank you Faramir." Aragorn said looking slightly relieved.

"Not a problem." Faramir grinned and quickly exited.

The front doors opened and King Thranduil strode in with several elves flanking him.

Aragorn inclined his head, showing respect for the other king. "King Thranduil."

"King Elessar." Thranduil responded with just the same amount of respect.

"Thank you for coming so quickly." Aragorn gestured for him to be seated in one of the council chairs and took one himself. "However, Legolas is no longer here."

Thranduil immediately sat back, relaxing the taunt shoulders. "I'm not surprised." He returned.

"But since Legolas isn't here to object to anything." Aragorn's lips turned upward in a quick smile. "I think you might like to hear what Legolas told me."

Thranduil made a steeple with his long fingers. "I would be most eager to do so."

~*~*~*

Legolas held back a moan. The jarring ride was only making his wounds hurt more and he was half afraid that most of the stitching would be ripped out.

He risked a look backwards. At least there was no one behind him.

His Adar's party had just entered the fifth level of Minas Tirith when Legolas had made his get away. And he hoped that his escape would not be noticed for a while, or at least until he got over half way to his small but growing colony of elves.

Then whoever was sent after him would know that it would be closer and easier to bring him to his colony. He hoped anyway. Hopefully he would soon run into a patrol that would help him back to the colony.

The sound of hoof beats turned his head around.

And there, in the distance was a small band of men, obviously rangers, and Faramir's rangers to be exact, with Faramir in front.

Legolas put his head down on the horse's back and groaned. He knew that he would not win any battle with Aragorn nor Meldar in his weakened condition, but Faramir... Faramir was a different subject all together.

Though Meldar was an elf, and his guardian, he usually refrained from using such a sharp tongue with his charge. Now Faramir on the other hand, was not an elf, but had the quickness of mind and tongue that would often amaze even Legolas. He could easily read into the hearts of men, and if allowed into the hearts of elves.

Legolas had grown close to the young Steward of Gondor and he knew that Faramir knew many things about his Adar that Aragorn could never understand.

After many midnight talks, Legolas had realized that Faramir was quite a bit like him. They both had craved their father's love and approval, but unlike Legolas, Faramir didn't have a chance to reconcile with his own father.

And the stark brutality of that simple truth was enough for the Steward to almost beg the elven prince to reconcile with his father.

Faramir knew all too well the aching need to find love and approval of a father, but he also knew too well the bitter denial of both. Many times when the elven prince and the Steward would sit down and talk, Faramir would often tell Legolas many tales of trying to make himself worthy of his father's praise and of the many failures as well.

The prince would listen quietly, but often would say nothing. He would sometimes tell the young man of early childhood memories instead, changing the mood from sober to lighthearted. He would never speak, no matter how hard Faramir tried, of the arguments between he and his father. That was strictly something kept hidden, away from common gossip.

So Faramir had accepted that didn't want to talk about the wall between the father and son, but as he had put it, it didn't mean that he was giving up.

Knowing that they were going to catch up inevitably, Legolas reined in his horse and carefully sliding to the ground, sat down, awaiting the Steward's arrival.

He watched them ride up and then dismount. "Did Aragorn send you to fetch me back?" Legolas asked his voice resigned.

"Actually no." Faramir replied, sitting down next to the elf. "Aragorn just wanted to make sure that you got safely wherever you wanted to go."

"He's talking to my Adar isn't he?" Legolas groaned, burying his head in his hands.

Faramir chuckled. "Of course. Do you really think he would let that opportunity be missed?"

Legolas sighed. "No, I wasn't exactly thinking." He made a face. "I just wanted to escape."

"Escape what?" Faramir asked. "Aragorn? Your father? The healers?"

"Have you ever wanted to get away, but knew you couldn't no matter how hard you tried?" Legolas replied with a question of his own. "Your friends know exactly what is a matter with you, but you don't want them to help you. You just want to hurt and make the other hurt too. So instead of facing the problem you run." He lowered his head. "Just like you always have."

"Why do you want to hurt your father?" Faramir queried kindly.

"You know. "Legolas ignored the question. "I can easily face Trolls, Ring wraiths, Orcs, Uruk Hai's and Spiders but I shake in terror to face my Adar."

"Because he has a greater ability to hurt you in a different way." Faramir explained gently. "Trolls, Ring wraiths, Orcs, Uruk Hai's and Spiders can hurt you physically, but your father can hurt your emotionally, mentally. He can get past your defenses and strike the most vulnerable place in your heart that you have probably without even knowing it."

"He said I was an accident." Legolas whispered, his voice breaking.

The Steward looked down, the words were striking too close to his own wounds, his own hurts. He said nothing, but placed a hand upon the shaking shoulder.

"Why did he tell me that?" Legolas asked, despair written on his face.

"What did you tell him?" Faramir asked in return.

"I told him that I wished I had a different Adar." Legolas replied bitterly regretting the words echoing in his mind.

"And in turn he said that you were an accident." Faramir connected the pieces.

Legolas nodded.

"Did you ever tell him about your mother?" Faramir asked quietly.

"I have only told two people what happened on that day." Legolas replied. "You and Aragorn. Meldar doesn't even know."

"Why?" Faramir pressed. "Why is it that I know and Aragorn knows, but not even your guardian nor your father knows?"

"I killed my father's wife, and my mother." Legolas replied scathingly. "Do you honestly think I want to be banished for the rest of my life?"

"So you'd rather be at odds with your father the rest of your life." Faramir shot back. "And you did not kill your mother."

"I think I would know if I killed my..."

"You did not kill her." Faramir cut him off.

"How do you know if I did or didn't?" Legolas shot back.

"Did you take a knife and stab her? Did you shot arrows into her? Did you take a spear and spear her?" Faramir pressed.

Legolas winced. "No."

"Then how is it that you think you killed her?"

"I didn't obey her." Legolas closed his eyes. "She told me to run, but I didn't. If I would have run I could have gotten the guards and they would have saved her, but I didn't."

"If, Legolas, if." Faramir sighed. "When your mother did everything in her power to help you escape, she knew her life was already forfeit, but she also knew that the guards were near by and if you ran that you could easily find them and they would take care of you. She did not want you to run for the guards to come and save her as well. She wanted you to be safe. She wanted you to escape."

"But I just stood there." Legolas choked back a sob. "I just stood there and watched."

"Legolas, you were but a child. You didn't know what to do. You were just starting your warrior training. How were you supposed to know what to do?" Faramir questioned.

"I killed them." Legolas whispered, starting to shake, not only from his wounds, but also from many years of silent pain and suffering. "I killed all the orcs." He turned tortured eyes upon the young man beside him. "If I would have just killed them sooner then she would be alive."

"Legolas." Faramir drew the elf's attention to him. "Your mother knew what she was doing."

"But they hurt her." The childish cry tore at the Steward's heart.

"Oh Legolas." Faramir drew the hurting elf into his arms, and let the fair being sob in his arms. "You didn't kill her, the orcs did."

After a little while Legolas straightened. "I didn't kill her?"

Faramir brushed a stray tear from the flushed cheek. "No." He said simply. Then watched as Legolas' face slowly crumbled, the impenetrable wall slowly shattering.

The sobs became hiccups. "I...want...m..my..A..Ada." Legolas sobbed.

"Shhhh." Faramir soothed. "He is coming, he is coming."

*~*~*

"He thinks he killed her?" Came Thranduil incredulous cry.

"Yes." Came Aragorn's calm reply.

"Why does he think that?"

Aragorn shrugged. "I don't know, but what I do know is, that he thinks that you hate him."

"Where would he get a...Oh..." Thranduil buried his face in his hands, startling the King of Gondor, who had never once seen the King of Eryn Lasgalan loose control.

"One day." Thranduil sighed. "You will know exactly how I feel." He gave a small smile. "Now, where is my son?"

*~*~*

Faramir was starting to get worried. He knew that Legolas needed his father, but didn't know when Thranduil would come.

What Legolas also needed was a healer. Blood was slowly seeping through the bandages because of either torn or loosened stitches.

"King Elessar is coming!" The cry went up. "And King Thranduil!"

"See?" Faramir whispered in the elegantly curved ear. "Your father is coming."

Legolas raised himself up, revealing flushed cheeks, red swollen eyes and tears easily falling down. There was a fear in the blue-gray eyes that Faramir wished he could soothe, but knew that only one person could ease that. The elf was still hiccupping slightly and as he scrubbed his eyes, Faramir could easily picture a much younger, much more vulnerable elfling whose mother had just died.

As the two Kings came closer, Legolas tried to pull himself together, but there was too much pain built up, too much anger, too much hurt to really even try.

Thranduil gasped at the sight of his son sitting on the ground, half enclosed in a comforting embrace, tears falling from red swollen eyes.

Without a single thought, except for the health of his son, he threw himself off of his horse, still almost at a full gallop.

"Legolas." Thranduil breathed his son's name as he rushed forward to enfold the shaking figure into his arms.

"Ada." Legolas sobbed into the strong shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Shh..." Thranduil soothed, placing a gentle kiss upon furrowed brow.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

The humans carefully withdrew leaving the royal father and son sitting on the ground, one sobbing as if his heart would break, and the other looking as if he would start crying.

After a few moments, Legolas slowly calmed down. He took several shaky breaths and gave his Adar an insecure smile.

"Now tell me what is a matter." Thranduil said, sounding quite a bit like the Ada of old, when Ada wasn't scared of anything and could easily conquer the world with just his pinky.

Feeling every bit like a small elfling who just climbed into bed with his parents after a nightmare, Legolas told the entire story starting from the beginning of that fateful trip with his Naneth, to the present.

He told of his guilt, his pain, his sorrow, and his silent anguish of not wanting to tell anyone. He told of his agony of watching his mother be brutally raped then murdered. He told of his own anger at himself for not doing something sooner. He told of trying to wash off the guilt of her shamming gaze and of his failure.

Tears flowed freely from both listener and teller.

The words so long built up of self condemnation poured out, and Thranduil knowing that Legolas needed to talk, kept silent, but every so often placed a comforting hand on the shaking shoulder, or would gently wipe away tears.

It was dark by the time that Legolas had finally finished and they were both exhausted. Legolas was far more exhausted of the two because of his still healing wounds.

It didn't take long and soon Thranduil coaxed the tired prince into his arms and stood with him half asleep.

He quietly called out to Aragorn, and they carefully mounted and slowly rode back to the palace.

Since Aragorn and Faramir knew of Legolas' complete story, Thranduil quietly told them that Legolas had been able to pour out his feelings. But there was one thing that Thranduil said that Legolas kept on repeating.

"They hurt her. They hurt her."

The King of Gondor and the Steward could easily see that the words tore at Thranduil's heart. Both wished they could ease his pain, but both also knew that Legolas would have to help heal that particular wound himself.

As they slowly rode back to Minas Tirith, Legolas fell completely asleep, his eyelids falling to shut out the pain in the depths of the blue-gray eyes.

TBC: