In my mind’s eye I
Knew the exact moment
My father left this world

I beheld the grey
Ship as it unfurled its sails
Wind carried westward

“Fare thee well, *Ada!”
I whispered, weeping because
I was not with him

But only on that
Day did I weep for what I
Had lost, only then

Never again did
I weep for **Nana, Ada
Parted forever

Not until this hour,
Estel, did I regret the
Sweet and the bitter

Indeed was the choice
I made both the sweet and the
Bitter, so bitter

“What if I had it
To do over again?” I
Ever ask myself

My choice would not be
Any different even
To gain Elvenhome

For as Lúthien
Had no light without Beren
So would my plight be

Even in the Light
Of Aman, I would have died
For the want of you

This and more said I
To Ada, still he bid me
“Come West, my daughter.”

Ada was so sure
Aman’s light would full heal me
As it healed ***Naneth

Healing there was not
To be found there for me none
Ever without you

And so I renounced
The Twilight and embraced a
Mortal’s brief lifetime

Learning to live as
A mortal was difficult
More than expected

But your presence, love,
Eased the transition, and made
It more bearable

Bearable until
This moment when I am faced
With the loss of you

In the moment you
Declared your intent to seek
Sleep with your fathers

As I labored on
The Banner of the White Tree
Ada did warn me

Saying “Thy time with
Arathorn’s son seem will seem all
Too brief, too fleeting

As he lies down to sleep
Forever, thy heart shall be
Utterly broken

In nothing and in
No one shall thee ever find
Any comfort again

Not even in thy
Own children will be able
To mend thy torn heart

Thou shalt know only
Great despair and sorrow ‘til
The end of thy days comes.”

I remember, Estel
Gazing into his ageless
Wise grey eyes, saying,

“If such a moment
Comes, then I will seek out rest
In Lothlórien

To Cerin Amroth
Will I go and there I will
Lay until my soul flees

Flees towards the great
Heavens, and into the arms
Of my only love

We will then flee the
Circles of the World to seek
Ilúvatar’s Halls.”

Many in our Realm
Would be shocked to discover
Their Queen was naïve

Enough to speak such
Word without any thought as
To their consequence

Yea I am naïve
Though I have walked this earth for
Nigh three thousand years

Was I naïve to
Think the time I spent loving
You would be worth the cost?

Nay! Nay! Nay! Estel,
Loving you was worth the cost
And a privilege

I would hasten to
This course again, without a
Moment’s hesistance

===
*Ada / Daddy
**Nana / Mama
***Naneth / Mother

“If love were a choice, who would ever choose such exquisite pain?” - Anna and the King