12. Quiet Conversations

“I’d forgotten how loud little babies can be, and how often,” Frodo said with an exhausted sigh as he sat down in the fragrant grass that bordered the neat field he and Pippin had wandered into.  A quiet walk outside of Bag End had recommended itself when the third day of young Elanor’s life had started as the previous had ended with an imperious shriek and whimper.  He looked up at his cousin, whose nervous energy rarely allowed for silence or stillness, though he was now staring quietly into the distance.

“How is your niece doing these days?  Less fuss I’d guess than our little queen bee,” Frodo asked, aware that home was likely what was occupying Pippin’s mind.  “Pippin?  Hello?”

“Hmm, what?  Oh yes, Perdita’s not a fuss at all…” he answered distractedly.

“Here and I thought you said she was as perfectly Tookish as can be,” Frodo teased, tugging the young hobbit to sit by his side.  “You’re a thousand miles away, cousin.  What’s troubling you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  Just wondering if I’m doing any good at all.  I wish Merry could come to Great Smials with me this time.”

“I thought you wanted to do this on your own.”

“To be honest, I’ve wanted his help from the first day.  But my father…  My father is clinging to this foolish notion that Merry and his father are to blame for me leaving in the first place, as if I couldn’t get into that much trouble by myself,” he said shaking his head.  “I guess he never noticed just who was always pulling me from the messes I’d jump into, though everyone else did I’m sure.  He certainly never stayed anyone’s hand when Merry took the thrashings meant for me.”

“Things are a little different now, Pippin, surely your father can see that.  You’ve grown, you know to consider the consequences of your actions.”

“Oh, I always knew after the fact that the idea wasn’t a good one, but my mouth always runs faster than my mind.  Some trouble you can’t talk your way around or out of…”

“What is it you think Merry could do that you cannot to help your father?”

“Subtle argument has never been my strength, you know that…  I can charm the cookies off a plate or talk a passel of lads into mischief, but to reason out a solution and make my father think it is his own is not something I’ve ever managed.  And he’d never buy it from me anyway.”

“I think you underestimate yourself, Pippin.  But surely others in Tuckborough are pushing for things to resume their normal course?”

“Yes, thank goodness, there are enough who’ll gladly run in that direction once the word is given.”

“Will his advisors not help you?”

“Ha!” Pippin spat bitterly, getting up again to pace.  “Frightened old hobbits!  They don’t dare to say a word crosswise to him.  That simple farmer from Whitwell scared them out of their wits with his response to the invasion.”  He looked down at his feet, voice low and rough.  “It hurt to find him so hard, so sharp and cold.”

“Imagine his surprise when his little lad came back from the dead full grown and armed to the teeth,” Frodo said, placing a gentle hand on Pippin’s arm.  “Life has been cruel to him of late.  But he’ll recover, you’ll see.”

“I know.  It’s happening, little by little.  I just hope it happens soon enough…”

“Soon enough for what?”

“For it to make a difference.  He’s not getting any younger, you know.  And while I’m busy playing the fool to distract him, I can feel their eyes on me and it isn’t a friendly feeling I get.”

“Now I know you’re worrying for nothing.  If there’s one thing your family won’t do is disrupt the chain of inheritance.  They’re too proud of that to ignore it, even in your case.”

“Thanks, I think…”

“Oh really, Pippin,” Frodo said, fondly squeezing the younger hobbit’s shoulder.  “It may indeed take some time to smooth things out between you, and for the rest of them to see you as more than Paladin’s young rapscallion of a son, but they’ll see their advantage soon enough.  They’ll think to pull your strings as they did his and you’ll surprise them just as much by tugging back.  Remember, ‘fealty with love, valor with honor.’  The Steward was not too far from wrong in some respects.”

“You forgot vengeance,” the young Took murmured.

“What?”

“Oath-breaking with vengeance…” Pippin said, forcing the words past jaws clenched with remembered anger.  “Shall I deal out death in judgment as he did?  Even on my own flesh and blood?  Shall we become as Men, unforgiving and inflexible?”

He drew the short blade that still hung at his side.  Polished and oiled to preserve it from the elements, its bright length caught the light of morning.

“Shall we too live by the sword?”

“No, that is not our road.  It never has been.” 

“But it is the one my father nearly set us on." 

“It is done, Pippin.  The guards have put up their arms, the letters flood from the Green Hills…  That chapter is closed for the Shire.”

“Save the part between us.”

“Follow your heart, Pippin, it has never steered you wrong.  You’ll find the way.”