16: Losing Faith

Pervinca sat up in bed as thunder roared through her bedroom. She pulled the covers over her head and cowered. She had always been afraid of storms; so had Pippin. On nights like this, they would usually hide together in one of their beds until the storm had passed.

But for this storm, Pippin was not around to help comfort Pervinca. It had been several months since he had left the Shire with Merry, Frodo and Sam, and Pervinca was all alone. She wondered if Peregrin was also experiencing the storm, and how he was coping if he was.

Sometimes, Pervinca believed she was the only one still holding onto the idea that Pippin was still alive. She could not blame the others for feeling the way they did, however. In times like the ones they were now living in, it was easy to believe that there is nothing to hold onto.

Only weeks after Peregrin, Meriadoc, Frodo and Sam had left, Lotho Sackville-Baggins, the new resident of Bag-End had declared himself Chief of the Shire. Needless to say, Paladin had been none to pleased with this declaration, and made no attempt to hide this from Lotho. In fact, he had ordered several of Lotho’s ruffians – Men that had been invading the Shire – shot. He was beginning to regret that order, however. Tookland was now practically besieged. Pimpernel, who had been visiting from Buckland, was trapped, though Ferdibrand Took managed to escape and take a message to Berilac Brandybuck. No word had come back.

Before the situation had become too bad, Paladin had called for Pearl and husband Orlando, living in Pincup in the South Farthing, to return to the Smials with their two daughters. Pearl was pregnant with their third child, and neither Paladin nor Eglantine thought it safe for her to be trapped outside her childhood home.

With his three daughters relatively safe in the Great Smials, Paladin had hunters patrol the borders of his land. If the Tooks could not escape Tookland, he would make sure that Lotho’s ruffians could not enter it either. Reginard Took, Pervinca’s future brother-in-law, was enlisted as Paladin’s assistant. It escaped no one’s notice that with Peregrin and Meriadoc missing, presumed dead, Reginard was the next in line for the Thainship. When Pervinca confronted her father about whether he was adopting Reggie as his heir, he simply said, “No harm in being prepared, my sweet.”

If that were not bad enough, Pearl had announced that if her new baby was a lad, she would name him Peregrin in honour of her brother. Pervinca had snapped at them all for jumping to conclusions and believing that Pippin was dead. But now, it was becoming harder for her to hold onto that hope too.

Another clap of thunder made Pervinca cry out. Wrapping the covers around her, she climbed out of her bed and made her way to a room just down the corridor from her own. She pushed the door open. Nothing had been touched since the day Peregrin left for Hobbiton. Clothes that he had not decided to take with him were strewn on the floor and the bed was unmade. Pervinca lay on Pippin’s bed, and tried to pretend that he was there, comforting her, but it did not work. She was painfully aware of how empty the room seemed. The bed was so cold.

With a sigh, she stood again. She started back towards her own room, but stopped. Pervinca turned, and padded to another part of the Great Smials, to a room that she did not know particularly well. She knocked on the door.

It took several tries, but finally, she heard movement from within the room, and a mumbled, sleepy reply. The door opened, and Everard looked out.

“Pervinca!” he whispered, waking up quickly. “What are you doing here?”

Pervinca suddenly felt very foolish. Her first thought had been that she wanted Sam to comfort her, but when she remembered that he had gone with Pippin (and besides, he lived in Hobbiton), Everard was the only hobbit she knew that could comfort her. But how was she to explain that to him?

“I…the storm…I don’t like it…” she stammered. “Can I stay here?”

Everard’s eyes nearly fell out of his head. “Vince! You can’t! We’re not married yet!”

“I know…I just…” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I’m sorry, I’ll go back to my own room.”

His face softened. “No, I’m sorry, Pervinca.” He glanced down the corridor to make sure that no one else was there. “Come on in.”

Everard wrapped his arms around his betrothed’s shoulders and led her over to his bed. As they lay together, and Pervinca started crying.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” Everard soothed. “I’m here.”

“But, he’s not…they’re not. They’re not here!”

A look of confusion passed over Everard’s handsome features. They’re not here? He had assumed that she was missing her brother, but it seemed that she also missed her two cousins.

“Wherever Frodo and Merry are, just remember that they are probably with Peregrin,” he said.

In a scarce whisper, Pervinca replied, “But what about Sam?”

“Sam? Samwise Gamgee – Frodo’s gardener?” Now Everard was very confused. He had been aware of Pervinca’s close friendship with Rose Cotton from Bywater. He also knew that Pervinca was friends with Sam Gamgee. Though he did not openly disapprove of these friendships, he thought it odd that the daughter of the Thain should have such a close relationship with a gardener and a farmer’s daughter. Pervinca had just given him reason to suspect that the relationship was closer than he thought. “Pervinca, why are you worried about Sam?”

Pervinca swallowed her sobs. She had never told Everard about what had happened between herself and Sam, though she knew she should have. Pimpernel and Pearl had been good enough to keep the secret too. That probably had something to do with Pearl having to eat humble pie when she married Orlando Burrows. As a lawyer, Orlando was considered beneath Pearl, but she had married him anyway. She had apologised to Pervinca days before the wedding for her harsh words concerning Pervinca marrying Sam.

“Pervinca, did you hear me?” Everard asked.

She rolled over to face him. “I’m sorry I never told you.”

“Never told me what?”

“When I was younger, in my teens, I…I almost fell in love with Samwise Gamgee.”

“What?” Everard sat upright in the bed.

“I was young, and confused. Pearl and Pimpernel had so many suitors…I just wanted someone to notice me, and Sam was the first one to do that.”

“And you still care for him?”

Pervinca nodded. There was no way that she could deny the fact that she still held deep feelings for Sam.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I didn’t think it would matter.”

“Well, of course it matters!” A sudden thought occurred to Everard. “He’s the reason you want to postpone the wedding, isn’t he? It has nothing to do with waiting for Peregrin at all! You’re waiting for Sam to come back, so you can decide whether it’s really him that you want to marry, not me.” Tears had formed in Everard’s eyes.

“No, never! Sam loves Rosie, and I would never break the two of them apart. And besides, I love you! My decision to postpone our wedding has everything to do with Pippin, and nothing to do with Sam.”

“Do you promise me that?”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Pervinca kissed Everard. “Ev, believe me when I say that I want to marry you more than anything else in the world. But I promised Pippin that I would wait until he came back…”

“And what if he doesn’t?”

“He will. He promised me he would. Do you trust me enough to believe that?”

Everard thought for a moment, before replying. “Yes. I believe you.”

* * * * * *

Sam gently shook Pippin. The Fellowship of the Ring were travelling through Hollin, and Sam’s watch had just finished. Pippin was to relieve him.

“Sorry to wake you, Mister Pippin,” he apologised.

“Hm, don’t worry about it Sam,” Peregrin grumbled. He sat up. “I hate having to watch. It’s always so boring.”

Sam smiled pitifully. “Well, I’m not all that tired yet, Mister Pippin. I could stay up with you for a little bit.”

“You would? That is rather good of you Sam.”

The two hobbits sat down a little way from the camp, and Pippin took out his pipe. “Do you miss home much, Sam?”

Sam sighed. “All the time. I wonder how they’re coping without me.”

“Did you tell anyone where you were going?”

“Well, I may have given Rosie a hint or two.”

“I told Pervinca,” Peregrin admitted, and he noticed that Sam stiffened at the mention of her name. “And she practically begged me to let her come with us. Of course, I told her that it would be a terrible idea for her to come with us.”

“I agree completely, Mister Pippin. Or little journey would have been a terrible experience for a lass.”

“Actually, I meant the fact that the two of you could have gotten up some mischief, if you know what I mean…”

Sam blushed, and hissed: “Mister Pippin! I would never do anything of the sort.”

Pippin grinned. “I know, I was just teasing. She’s engaged now, you know.”

“Miss Pervinca? Who’s the lucky lad?”

“Everard Took, one of our distant cousins. He lives at the Smials with us. They’ve been courting for a good few years now. It’s about time they married.”

“I’m happy for her. Ah, and now I understand you question about me missing home. You’re missing your favourite sister’s wedding.”

“Well, not exactly. She made me promise to come home – and to bring you, Merry and Frodo with me. And to make sure that I hold to that promise, she’s going to wait until I get back to hold the wedding.”

Sam was not sure if that had been a particularly good decision on either Tooks behalf, but he saw no point in arguing. “I hope you don’t mind too much, Mister Pippin, but I’m getting tired and should probably get some sleep.”

Pippin saw the point. “Sweet dreams, Sam.”