10: A Failed Plan

Merry stood in front of an ale keg, attempting to hide the pair of small feet that jutted out from beneath it. He hissed to his companion: “Hurry up!”

“Well, you try doing it,” Pippin’s voice hissed back from beneath the keg. A moment later he slid out. His shirt was drenched with ale and had been since he had chiselled a hole in the base of the first keg. They now only had two to go, at least in this area of the field.

“I already told you that I can’t!” said Merry. “I wouldn’t be able to fit beneath the kegs.”

“Well, it’s not my fault that you’re so fat,” Pippin shot back.

“You had better take that back, Peregrin Took.”

“Or else you’ll do what? You need me to carry out your stupid idea. My idea was always so much better, and we have yet to break any of the chairs.”

“We’ll get to that next!” Merry snapped, as he practically shoved his cousin beneath the next ale keg.

Less than a moment later, a voice called to him, which Merry instantly recognised as Pearl’s. He turned to face his cousin and saw Pimpernel was also with her, and they were both carrying bags. “Merry! Have you seen Frodo anywhere?”

“Not yet,” Merry answered, mentally begging Pippin to keep quiet. Pearl and Pimpernel would be sure to tattle on them if they discovered the plan. “Why?”

“We have presents to give him,” Pimpernel replied, holding up the bag she was carrying.

“But it’s his birthday, not yours.”

“It is a very special birthday, though, so we thought he should at least get something. We already gave Bilbo his.”

“Well, I have no idea where Frodo is, sorry.”

“Not to worry, have fun.” Pearl and Pimpernel started to walk away, but Pearl stopped after only a few paces and turned back. “Where is Pippin? Was he not with you?”

“He was…” Merry shuffled to cover Pippin’s protruding feet from Pearl’s new view. “But…he…uh…he went somewhere with Pervinca. And I do not know where.”

“All right then, Merry. Thank you.”

With his two cousins finally gone, Merry let out a sigh of relief and leant against the keg. “That was too close, wasn’t it, Pip?” There was no reply from the young Took, so Merry prodded one of the feet. “Come on, Pippin. You can come out now if you’re done. They have gone, I promise.”

There was still no answer from Pippin, though Merry thought he heard a muffled giggle. He knelt down and peered under the barrel. The shadow covered much of Pippin’s face, but Merry could still see that ale was trickling from the keg onto his cousin’s face. Merry paled, grabbed Pippin around the ankles and yanked him out.

“Pippin! Speak to me!” Merry begged. He was terrified that Pippin had drowned in the ale that he had released.

“Oh, hullo, Merry,” Pippin slurred in reply. His eyes did not seem to focus properly and he was swaying slightly.

“Pippin, how much of that ale did you drink?”

“Lots…none at all…” Pippin giggled stupidly as he quoted his favourite story of Bilbo’s, when he had been captured by trolls.

“Can you stand?” Merry asked, anxiously. He knew he was responsible for his young cousin, and if his aunt saw her son in his current state, he would be in deep trouble.

Pippin did not even try to stand, much to Merry’s annoyance. He had found his dragon toy again, and now it was even more exciting. Pippin looked at it as if he was seeing it for the first time all over again.

“Peregrin Took, on your feet this minute!” Merry cried in his best grown-up voice.

To Merry’s distress, Pippin just laughed. “You sounded just like Uncle Sarry then. Can you impers…imperson…copy anyone else?”

Merry did not know what he should do. He could not leave Pippin alone – he was sure to do something stupid. But Merry also could not look after his cousin by himself. He needed someone to help him, but someone that would not turn them in for the prank that had caused all the trouble.

Just at that moment – as if the Valar had answered Merry’s prayers – Pervinca walked by quickly. Merry hissed her name, and she turned. Her eyes were red and she looked like she had been crying, but Merry had no time to ask her what was wrong.

“Pervinca, I need your help!” he pleaded. There was a tone in his voice that Pervinca could not refuse.

“What has happened, Meriadoc?” she asked, with a sigh. She knew that nothing that he had to say was bound to be good. But at least Merry’s problem would take her mind off the hurricane of thoughts that had been plaguing her since Sam’s kiss.

“It’s a bit of a long story I’m afraid, and before I even start, we need to get Pippin away from the ale kegs…”

“Pippin? Ale kegs? Merry!” Pervinca pushed past her cousin to where Pippin was still sitting, playing with his toy and smiling stupidly. “Peregrin!”

“Pervinca! How lovely of you to join us,” Pippin replied.

“Merry, what happened?” Pervinca demanded, and there was a tone in her voice that Merry could not refuse.

“Well…uh…” Merry stammered. He had no time to think of a good lie, so the truth would have to do. “Pip was making holes in the bottom of the ale kegs…”

“That stupid prank that you came up with? Why was Pippin doing the hole-making?”

“I could not fit beneath the kegs! Pippin was small enough to, and he was doing a wonderfully good job, until…”

“Let me guess. He drank the ale that came out of the hole?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Merry replied. “It would not surprise me. He managed to spill ale on him at every other keg.”

“Have you seen Sam yet, Pervinca?” Pippin asked.

“Peregrin, be quiet,” Pervinca commanded, but her voice wavered. Merry wondered what Pippin was talking about and why Pervinca had blushed so much. But he had no time to ask, for Pervinca had pulled Pippin to his feet, something which Merry had not thought of in his panic. “Well, what are you waiting for, Meriadoc?”

“Excuse me?”

Pervinca sighed in frustration. “You did say that we need to get my brother away from these ale kegs?”

“Oh, yes, yes I did.”

“Then why don’t you help me do it?”

Merry knew that he deserved Pervinca’s anger, but he had never seen her in a mood like this. He decided it would be to his advantage to hold his tongue and simply help his cousin. He looped Pippin’s right arm around his shoulders. He wrapped his own left arm behind Pippin’s back. Pervinca did the same thing on Pippin’s other side.

With absolutely no help from Peregrin, Merry and Pervinca walked the intoxicated young hobbit to a secluded corner of the field. A young couple fled from the corner when they saw the poisonous look on Pervinca’s face.

“Pathetic, aren’t they?” Merry joked. Pervinca just frowned at him. She was in no mood for jokes.

Pippin let out a gurgling moan. Both of his companions looked at him in concern. His face had turned a rather interesting shade of green. Merry and Pervinca’s eyes widened in horror.

“Oh, no,” was all Merry managed to say before Pippin brought up his breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses and what lunch he and Merry had eaten while carrying out their pranks.

“He didn’t get any on his clothes, did he?” Pervinca asked, frantically.

Merry grabbed Pippin before he fell face first into the vile puddle in front of him. A quick check revealed that Pippin had somehow managed to avoid vomiting on himself, aside from the small trickle at the side of his mouth. Merry pulled out a pocket-handkerchief and wiped his cousins mouth. “He’s clean,” he told Pervinca.

“Well, that was lucky.” Together, they dragged Pippin away from the mess he had made.

Pippin moaned again. “I feel awful.”

“You don’t look too good either, Pip,” Merry replied. “You’re far too young for ale!”

“It tastes disgusting! Why does everyone like drinking it?”

“I suppose it’s something you start liking when you’re older, like pipeweed and lasses.” Merry gave Pervinca a lop-sided grin. “At least he’s awake now.”

“You don’t feel like you’re going to be sick again, do you?” Pervinca asked, ignoring Merry.

“I don’t think so,” Pippin said, though he still looked rather green. “I am thirsty though.”

“Merry, get him a drink of water!”

Merry nodded and quickly scampered off to find Pippin some water before Pervinca murdered him. He had never seen her so angry. Meanwhile, Pervinca sat next to Pippin. He seemed less stupid now that he had gotten rid of most of the ale from his body. He groaned and rested his head on her shoulder.

“I am never going to drink ale again!” he declared.

“I cannot wait to see how you feel in the morning. From what Pearl tells me, that is the worst part of all.” Pervinca remembered her father’s message. “Oh, and Father said that we may spend the night at Bag-End.”

“Really? Well, that, at least, is good news. Have you spoken to Sam yet?” Pippin sat up. “Did I already ask you that?”

“Yes, you did. But Merry was here. You haven’t told him about Sam and I, have you?”

“Of course I haven’t! I promised that I wouldn’t. You know I never break my promises.”

Pippin was not lying. He may have been a brat, who could cause more trouble than five lads twice his age, and he had an uncanny ability to get out of that trouble, but he always held true to his word.

“I spoke to Sam, yes. We danced. And he kissed me. Something strange happened; I think I had a vision or something…” Pervinca stopped and smiled. She should have realised Pippin was no longer listening when she said that Sam had kissed her and he did not respond. Pervinca kissed her brother’s head, and let him sleep against her shoulder.