Chapter 4, Twins Reunited

Elladan stopped as he heard the voice of his youngest brother call him.  He had felt that there was someone or something in the nearby woods, so he hadn’t been surprised that there was someone in the forest with him.  He was surprised, however, when his little brother burst through the bushes, dropped his sword, and enveloped him in a fierce hug as soon as he’d dismounted from his horse.  He was just as glad to see his young brother, but the desperation of the hug was reminiscent of his greetings as a little boy rather than the proud young man he’d become.

“Oh, Elladan!  I’m so glad you’re here!” said Aragorn, his voice catching with the emotion of finally having someone to help him.

“Little One!” responded an astonished Elladan, calling him by his long ago nickname in his surprise.  “I set out as soon as I received your message, but it has not been easy finding you.  What has happened to trouble you so?”

The young human still hadn’t let go of his oldest brother.  He buried his head in his brother’s shoulder as he relished the feeling of holding someone he loved, something he’d been unable to do with Elrohir for the whole time they’d been together.

Elrohir!  Aragorn pulled back from Elladan, trying to come up with the words to tell him what was awaiting him in the trees.

“Elladan, I...you...just, just sit while I tell you something,” he finally blurted out.  “No!,” he contradicted himself, “better yet, come with me.  I have something to show you.”

A very confused Elladan allowed his little brother to drag him through the brush and into a small clearing, where he was amazed to see someone leaning against a tree, practically hanging from his hands which were tied over his head to a high-up branch.  The dark-haired man’s head was bowed, his hair covering his face.  His appearance was that of a wild man.  Snarled, matted hair, dirty and torn clothes, and filth covering every exposed part of his body bespoke of a low creature that couldn’t even be bothered with basic cleanliness.  Elladan looked away from the pathetic wretch in disgust. 

Aragorn watched as Elladan took stock of Elrohir.  He was somewhat gratified to note that Elladan didn’t recognize him right away either.  He’d been troubled before that he hadn’t known his brother immediately, but apparently the change in him was enough that even Elladan didn’t know it was Elrohir.  This small satisfaction, however, quickly was erased as Aragorn was now left with the problem of how to tell his older brother that the dirty, trussed-up elf was really his twin!  He opened his mouth several time, at a total loss for words. 

Elladan noted his little brother’s distress and went over to him.  “Estel,” he said, taking his brother’s chin in his hand and forcing him to look up.  “Whatever has happened, be at peace.  I am here and will help you, no matter what trouble you have found,” he finished with a small laugh.  His youngest brother was notorious for finding trouble wherever he went.

Aragorn looked away, still unsure how to best explain the past weeks of ecstatic joy followed by agonizing frustration, disappointment, and worry. 

The older twin couldn’t figure out his brother’s reluctance to speak, so he put two and two together and came up with five.  “Did he hurt you?” growled Elladan, pointing to the man still slumped over by the tree.

At that, Aragorn laughed, breaking his loss of words.  “No....no, it is nothing like that!,” he said.  Serious again, he decided on a simple message, “Elladan...that is Elrohir.”

Elladan’s first reaction was one of shocked anger.  What was Estel playing at?  Why would he imply that that filthy waste of human flesh was Elrohir?! 

“What are you saying?” he demanded harshly, stepping away from both Aragorn and the bound man.

Pointing once more at the tree, he added, “You cannot tell me that you truly believe this is...”.  He choked on his words as he saw the figure raise his head and look up.  With his head up, Elladan clearly could see the pointed ears--an elf!  Moreover, the face was too dirty for description, but the eyes...the identical set of eyes staring back at him were his brother’s!

Elladan forgot to breathe.  He wasn’t ready.  He hadn’t prepared himself to meet his twin.  Estel’s note had only said that he needed Elladan to come quickly.  He hadn’t expected this!  Two and a half years of searching without even the slighted sign had left him unready to suddenly be face-to-face with his long-sought brother.  He felt strong hands grab his shoulders as shock robbed his legs of strength.  As he was eased down, he found himself looking into Estel’s face, grounding himself by focusing on the solid, real form of his littlest brother.  But then his gaze was pulled back to his other brother, who was now looking right at him with an unexpected glare.  It was Elrohir, but something was obviously very wrong.

As he pulled away from Aragorn, Elladan shakily stood and staggered over to Elrohir.  Before he could grab a hold of him, however, he was stopped by a shout from Aragorn.

“No!  Wait,” cautioned the young man.  “Do not touch him, Elladan.  We must talk first...please?”

Elladan would have ignored Aragorn and scooped Elrohir into a bone-crushing hug, never pausing for a moment to wonder why Estel had felt it necessary to tie up his brother, but the look of distrust and unfriendliness directed at him from his twin stopped him in his tracks.  This was such a foreign look on his brother’s face that Elladan looked back at Aragorn in confusion and hurt.  Backing away from Elrohir, he finally plopped himself gracelessly down in the dirt by Aragorn and ground out, “Tell me!” never taking his eyes off his twin.

Aragorn proceeded to quickly outline the past several weeks, starting with the rangers’ mission, the unexpected miracle of finding Elrohir, the difficulties of dealing with their brother in his current state, and ending with his disappointment at his own inability to make any kind of connection with Elrohir.  He explained Elrohir’s aversion to contact as well as his apparent lack of any memory of who he was.  At least, that’s what Aragorn assumed, since Elrohir hadn’t spoken to him at all in the time they’d been together. 

Elladan listened in dismay as he heard of the drugs being used to control his brother.  Having studied the healing arts with his father, he was greatly disturbed to hear of the effects of the drugs and could only hope that his brother would be back to normal once they’d worn off.  Elladan kept silent as he listened, only speaking when Aragorn finished his story and at last mentioned that he’d been forced to buy Elrohir to get him away from his miserable existence.

“You bought him?” questioned Elladan.

“Aye...it was the only way to get him out of there immediately.  I could nott leave him, Elladan.  I just couldn’t,” answered Aragorn earnestly.  He hoped his brother wouldn’t ask what he’d used for payment.

No such luck...

“And just what was he worth?” asked Elladan, inwardly furious that his brother had been bartered over as if some stock animal.

“Elladan, do not be angry,” begged Aragorn.  An apologetic look at his brother was followed by, “I...I had to give them my brooch in exchange for Elrohir.”

The brooch, or cloak clasp, had been a gift from their father when Aragorn had reached his majority just a few years earlier.  It was a priceless piece of artistry that matched ones that each of his siblings had also received from their father.  One which Aragorn had treasured as a reminder that he was, although adopted, just as much a beloved part of the family as his elven kin.  It was irreplaceable, both in terms of cost and sentiment, but given the choice, Aragorn would have given it up all over again in order to rescue his brother.

The young man feared Elladan’s reaction, however, concerned that he’d think that his brother hadn’t understood the treasured gift in the first place and had traded it away carelessly.  He needn’t have worried, though.  Elladan understood immediately the choice that had faced him and indeed, if given the same option, would have given away his own pin as well without hesitation.  A trinket, after all, when compared to the life of their brother.  A quick smile, the first he’d given his brother since he’d rode up, reassured the ranger that he’d done the right thing.

The whole time the brothers were talking, the young elf they were discussing remained tied to the tree, his arms growing more and more tired as they stayed firmly bound over his head.  He tugged on the ropes ineffectively as he tried to listen to what was going on.  It was an elf!  Countless stories of the treachery of elves swirled through his confused thoughts as he watched the two conferring.  He wished for the millionth time that he could keep his thoughts focused.  Were the stories true?  Was he in danger?  Could he do anything about it if he was?  A vicious tug at the ropes still produced no effect other than sore wrists.  That blasted human certainly knew how to tie his knots!

Elrohir’s struggles grabbed the attention of his brothers.  He stilled as the two went silent and approached him--and then he nearly quit breathing as the human stopped and the elf continued on.

Elladan walked forward until he was just a couple of feet from his brother.  He fought the urge to touch him, to make sure that he was really real.  But he didn’t want to scare him before he’d had a chance to gain his trust.  He learned enough from listening of Aragorn’s struggles to know that he’d have to tread very lightly with his twin.

Elladan studied his brother, who just glared at him.  Looking directly into his eyes, the only part of him that was truly recognizable, he reached out a tentative hand toward his twin.  He stopped when he saw Elrohir stiffen and try to pull back.  Then he reached forward again, only this time even more slowly.  He moved cautiously like one approaching a wild animal, for he’d seen that the angry stare really was covering up a fear that lurked in the younger twin’s eyes.  Elrohir may have been able to fool everyone else, but Elladan would always know what his twin was feeling.

Elrohir watched as the dark-haired elf once more stopped.  He hated this!  He felt so defenseless with his hands tied up over his head.  The other slaves had taunted him countless times about how wicked elves were, so he dreaded this one’s intent.  He fought to control his fears and keep them from showing.  It may not be much, but the only thing left to him at the moment was his pride and he wasn’t about to show the approaching elf that he was scared.

But Elladan knew anyway.  Speaking softly, he didn’t come any closer to Elrohir, “Ro, it’s me.  It’s Elladan.  Estel says you don’t remember, but I’m your brother and I’m really, really glad to see you.”  He stopped for a moment as his voice caught.  ‘Really glad to see you’ didn’t even begin to describe what he was feeling.  He wanted to scream with the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him.  Elrohir was the other half of his soul!  They were a pair, only truly complete with the other.  There was no one else in the world who was more dear to him and he’d nearly been lost himself when his brother went missing.

Elladan wanted so badly to hold his twin that he moved forward once more, but paused when he noted Elrohir’s breaths become ragged.  ‘Patience,’ he told himself.  He’d wait until Elrohir was used to his presence before moving again.  Elladan smiled gently with compassion as he saw the younger twin putting on such a brave front.  How very like Elrohir!  When at last Elrohir seemed calmer, Elladan very slowly reached up and unlooped the rope from the tree branch, allowing his brother to lower his sore arms and sink to the ground.

He knelt in front of his twin and continued quietly, “Elrohir, I want to untie your hands now.  I promise I will not hurt you.  I only wish to help.  Will you trust me?”

Elladan hoped for some kind of response, but got none.  Still, the look he was receiving now was at least not as hostile as before.  Apprehensive, perhaps, but there was intelligence in the eyes gazing at him and perhaps just the slightest hint of acceptance in the way that Elrohir was regarding his brother.

Elrohir indeed was feeling less threatened by the elf who was talking to him so kindly.  Maybe all those stories had been lies after all.  Since Elrohir’s experience with elves consisted of his own sense of self, which was unfortunately rather limited and now watching this quiet-spoken elf trying to reach him, he didn’t have much to base his trust on.  In fact, Elrohir had to fight against an almost screaming instinct to pull away when the other elf had knelt down.  But...but something else--even deeper than instincts--was telling him to be still and allow this elf to come near him.  He couldn’t understand why he felt such a connection to the elf...maybe all elves felt this way about each other, but that ‘something’ made him just for a moment feel safe in the other’s presence.

Elladan pulled on the rope until Elrohir’s hands were out in front of him and then very slowly, he took his twin’s hands in one of his while he used the other to untie him.  He ignored the way the hands shook.  It could have been fear, or perhaps just fatigue.  Or maybe it was his own hands shaking.  Either way, he had to concentrate to untie the knots that held his brother prisoner, unknowingly echoing his twin’s earlier observation.  Blast Estel!  Did he have to make those knots so tight?!

At last, the final knot was undone and Elrohir’s hands were freed.  The older twin kept a grip on one of Elrohir’s hands, however, hoping that his brother wouldn’t object to the continued contact.

“Come along,” Elladan gently coaxed once the ropes had fallen to the ground.  With a look at the dirty countenance so close to him and a whiff of the filth that covered the rest of his usually tidy brother, he decided ‘first things first!’  He had to get his brother clean.  With a tug on his hand, Elladan pulled his brother up. 

“It’s bathtime, my dirty elfling,” he announced teasingly.

Aragorn watched in amazement as Elrohir cautiously started following Elladan to the nearby stream, remembering the last disastrous attempt to get him clean.  Elrohir was still hesitant, but at least he wasn’t fighting his brother and even seemed to not notice that Elladan hadn’t let go of his hand.

Elladan, for all his joy at actually being with Elrohir again, was able to act remarkably calm.  He didn’t want his excitement to spook his brother into retreating into the unreachable shell that Estel had described.  He kept glancing back at Elrohir, trying to read his thoughts from his expressive eyes.

Elrohir’s thoughts, though, were confused at best.  Yes, he had initially been frightened of the elf.  He’d been told countless times during his captivity of how worthless, vile, and sadistic elves were.  Not only had his fellow slaves used these taunts to torment him, but the guards had used them as well as they justified whatever abuse was being heaped on him.  He still wasn’t sure whether or not there was truth to those stories, but he felt only compassion flowing from the elf.  He had a sense that the elf leading him to the stream meant him no harm, not right now at any rate...of course maybe later...  Oh!  If only he could keep his thoughts focused!  One second he’d be safe in the here and now, and the next he’d be reliving some past horrific experience, and then he’d find himself back in reality, but anticipating some nightmare conclusion to the day’s events.  When the only thing you could remember of your life revolved around backbreaking labor and vicious beatings, it was hard to believe that there was any place for kindness and caring in the world.  His past remembrances coupled with the affect from the drugs were making it difficult for Elrohir to keep a hold of the thought that the elf meant him no harm.  Still, he kept following him, some unquenched spark of hope allowing him to trust this strangely compelling elf.

When the brothers reached the stream, Elladan sat down, pulling Elrohir with him.  “Come,” he urged, once more using the soothing voice he’d previously used for skittish horses.  “Let us get you out of those rags now.”

Elrohir jerked back, however, when Elladan let go of his hand and gestured for him to remove his tunic.  This was one thing that Elrohir did know about.  Removing your tunic meant a beating!  The stories were true....but wait!  The other elf was calmly removing his own tunic and undertunic, and now was sitting there bare-chested looking at him patiently, clearly expecting him to follow in kind.  He didn’t threaten, didn’t push, didn’t yell, didn’t say anything in fact.  He just quietly waited.  Well, if the other elf had done it, perhaps...just maybe it would be well this time, after all.  Hesitantly, he mimicked his brother and removed his own soiled shirt.  One by one, Elladan removed the rest of his clothes, waiting as Elrohir copied each of his movements. 

Aragorn watched the whole proceedings in complete, frustrated bemusement.  Now why hadn’t his efforts been received so well?  Elrohir hadn’t been this easy to deal with the whole time they’d been together.  He scrambled to pull a couple of bars of soap out of his pack and quickly tossed them over to Elladan, not wanting anything to break the spell his brother seemed to have over Elrohir.  The older twin caught the soap and with a wink for his youngest brother, handed one of the bars to Elrohir with a smile.  Then he waded into the deep water in the center of the stream and watched as Elrohir trailed behind him.  Step by step, the younger twin followed everything Elladan did, first soaping up, then scrubbing himself, and finally rinsing off.

Elladan’s first major challenge came when he approached his brother to help him wash his hair.  He knew that there was no way his twin could get it clean on his own.  The matted, snarled, tangled mess was a disaster!  Things had been going so well, however, that he had momentarily forgotten how easily Elrohir was spooked and inadvertently came too close, too fast.  Elrohir backed up so quickly that he stumbled over some rocks and found himself falling backward in the water.  He came up startled and flailing, but Elladan wisely stayed back, forcing himself to not aid his brother.  A sharp command to Estel also kept their younger brother from assisting in any way.

Once Elrohir regained his feet, Elladan approached him warily, not wanting to further frighten him.  Elladan could see his twin shaking in reaction as he backed away from his advancing brother.

“Easy, Ro.  Easy,” the older twin crooned.  “I told you, I will not hurt you.  I wish to help.  You would like to get those knots out of your hair, now, wouldn’t you?”  He moved a little closer, encouraged that this time his brother didn’t back off.

“That’s right.  Just relax.  Can you let me help clean your hair?” he continued soothingly.

Both Elladan and Aragorn were astonished, but thrilled when Elrohir nodded hesitantly and allowed Elladan to come right up beside him.  This was the first time that Elrohir directly communicated in any way with his brothers.

Elladan tossed Estel his bar of soap and then led Elrohir to the stream’s edge, pulling him down and then sitting behind him in the knee-deep water.  Gently taking the soap that Elrohir still had firmly in his grasp, Elladan proceeded to lather up his brother’s hair.  Elrohir at first was stiff with tension, but after awhile he began to loosen up as his hair was scrubbed clean. 

The younger elf closed his eyes as he felt strong fingers massaging his scalp.  He momentarily let his wariness fade while he enjoyed the feeling of someone taking care of him.  It was a novelty to him, a slave who only remembered cruelty.  In his memory, no one had ever touched him without the intent of pushing him, tripping him, whipping him, or beating him.  Touches of course meant pain, but they also meant an incomprehensible fear that came from deep within him.  He had thought it inconceivable before now that one could ever be pleasurable.

Elladan was not unaware of the impact he was having on Elrohir.  He felt his brother relaxing more and more under his ministrations and thus took his time in getting his hair completely clean.  It was with regret on both their parts when he finally said, “We are finished Ro.  You may get up now.” 

Elladan stood and, by habit, reached out his hand to help Elrohir up, only remembering too late that his brother didn’t welcome contact.  He was so astonished when his twin actually reached up and took his hand willingly!  He swallowed the lump in his throat as he accepted with gratitude this small sign of his brother’s growing trust.  With as cheery smile as he could manage, he said, “Now let us find some clean clothes.”

Once more, Elladan provided the model for Elrohir, drying off and then getting dressed, while his brother copied each of his movements.  The extra clothes that Elladan gave to his twin of course were an excellent fit, and in short order the two of them were clean, dry, and sitting in front of the small cookfire that Aragorn had built as they dressed. 

While their youngest brother worked to prepare a stew, Elladan combed his hair and then tossed the comb to Elrohir.  After just a few hopeless minutes, it was clear that he’d be needing more help with his hair and Elladan sat down next to him with a wry smile. 

“May I help?” he asked.

Elrohir didn’t nod at him this time, but when he guardedly handed Elladan the comb, that seemed enough of an encouragement that the older twin happily took up the comb and started to carefully work through the tangles.

It took almost an hour of painstaking work before the last of the tangles was removed.  An hour during which Elrohir unfortunately remained tense and distressed.  The pulled hair didn’t seem to be his problem, even though there were times when it was yanked rather hard.  No, his issue seemed to be more the prolonged contact required from Elladan as he worked through the snarls.  The hand not holding the comb was either on his shoulder or on his head and Elrohir’s drug-induced confusion kept making him think that any second Elladan was going to haul off and slug him, or maybe shove his face in the dirt.  These were things that were sadly only too frequent in his previous life and he just knew that it was a matter of time before it happened again.

Elladan, thankfully, couldn’t read what was going on in his brother’s head.  He was concentrating too hard on the way things were turning out to even contemplate such disturbing thoughts.  No...he was busy turning his brother back into his brother.  By the time he was done combing and finally braiding Elrohir’s hair, the younger elf was transformed.  No longer a grubby slave, he now looked again like the elven prince that he was.  A little thinner perhaps, certainly too serious and wary, and definitely quieter than before, but still, now he could be recognized as Lord Elrohir and not the “filthy elf slave.”

---------------------

The rest of the evening past without any great drama, but still managed to be a trying time for the sons of Elrond.  The brothers camped right where they were, too keyed up to even start thinking of the journey ahead of them.  The three tried to have a somewhat normal evening, cooking dinner, eating, and then settling down for the night, but the strangeness of being together without the usual camaraderie that had marked their normal relationship was taxing on them.  Even Elrohir, who naturally didn’t remember those earlier days, felt uneasy listening to the strained conversations as well as feeling the visible tension in the newly-arrived elf.

Not unexpectedly, Elladan was the one that found the reunion the most difficult.  Aragorn, of course, had had several weeks already to adjust to being with Elrohir.  Elrohir, even though he could sense the tension in the others, still didn’t realize what a momentous occasion it was, being reunited with his twin.  Truth be told, he didn’t even know Elladan was his twin...neither of the brothers had mentioned that fact and the young elf, who had never seen a mirror, didn’t realize that he looked exactly like the other one!  That left Elladan, who found his emotions so twisted in knots that he was unable to sit still for more than a few moments.  His initial reaction had been joy, of course, and then he had been too busy with the immediate concerns of dealing with Elrohir to think about what this all really meant.   Reaction was finally setting in, however.  When he had answered Aragorn’s summons, he had had no inkling that he’d be reunited with his twin--now the resulting avalanche of feelings that was bombarding him was keeping him so edgy that he just wanted to scream to release the pressure.

“Elladan, would you sit down?” asked Aragorn, after the fifth time the older elf had jumped to up ‘go check on his horse.’  “You know your horse will become offended if you keep acting like you need to make sure he’s not misbehaving,” he added with a grin.

Elladan looked over at his little brother and slowly blew out his breath.  Yes, he knew he needed to sit down and calm himself, but he was finding it hard to do.  With a small smile and a nod for his brother, he sat down next to him and looked across the campsite at their other brother who was studying both of them with a cautious appraisal.  How Elladan would have loved to know exactly what that twin of his was thinking right now!  Then again, his own thoughts were so jumbled up, that he imagined that Elrohir’s may be confused as well.

Finally deciding that just staring at Elrohir may make him nervous, Elladan forced himself to look away from his twin.  All he really wanted to do was to go over to him and hold him.  Elrond and Celebrian had both been very physically loving parents and had brought up all their children to be the same.  It was thus quite natural for Elladan and his siblings to give each other a hug, a pat on the shoulder, or even just a light touch as a sign of wordless affection.  Elrohir, his brother, his twin, the missing part of himself, had returned from being lost for over two years and now he had to be satisfied with just the brief contact he’d had when helping Elrohir get clean?  It was driving Elladan crazy!  It was more than just wanting to show his love for his brother, though.  He had an irrational fear that somehow he’d look up and Elrohir would be gone and this would all be a dream.  If he could touch Elrohir, it would make him more real, somehow...solid.  But no...there he sat, unreachable.  A shell of his brother that couldn’t be touched, wouldn’t respond with words, and had made no sign that he knew his twin at all.

The older twin jumped up suddenly, startling the other two in the camp.  He regretted that, but couldn’t sit still for another moment.

“Estel,” he informed his youngest brother, “I wish to hunt for a few rabbits.  They will make for a splendid breakfast before we start on our journey tomorrow and...and honestly it would do me good to clear my thoughts.  Can you take care of things here alone?”  In a lower voice he added, “Do you think he will run away since he not tied?”

The ranger looked at Elrohir, who was watching his brothers with interest.  He obviously wasn’t currently in one of his drug hazes, but he hadn’t yet made any move to try to escape, either.  Aragorn smiled lightly as he saw Elrohir looking back at him.  Having the younger twin cleaned up and dressed in Elladan’s clothes made him seem so much more like the brother of old that Aragorn felt renewed optimism.  Deciding he’d rather take the chance that Elrohir would run away than tie him up again, he shook his head.

“Nay, I believe he will stay with us.  I’d rather he learned to trust us...and besides, his wrists are a bit raw from pulling on those ropes so hard this afternoon--tying him up would only aggravate them.  I will watch him carefully.  Can you not be gone too long, though?” asked the young man.  Noting the tight look on his brother’s face, he added even softer, “Elladan, he may not remember you consciously, you know, but from the way he responded to you, I believe that somewhere deep inside him, he feels connected to you.”

That was the right thing to say and Elladan gifted his little brother with a smile and a grateful squeeze of his shoulder.  Saying nothing more, he gave a quick nod, mounted his horse, and rode off down the path.

-------------

Elladan had only been riding for about 15 minutes when he stopped, dismounted, and climbed up into a large, old tree.  The rabbits would have to wait!  He easily leapt from one limb to the next as he climbed and finally saw what he was looking for about 50 feet up--a thick branch at just the right angle to provide him with a secure, comfortable spot to rest while he tried to piece together his shattered emotions.  Resting his back against the tree trunk, Elladan sank down onto the large branch he’d chosen and buried his face in his hands. 

Reaction set in swiftly as the older twin tried desperately to maintain control.  He breathed deeply in a vain attempt to calm himself, but found that he had begun shaking violently and he simply couldn’t stop himself from giving in to the overwhelming feelings.  Initial, short sobs were ripped out of him and then deepened into gut-wrenching cries pulled from the very depths of his soul.  If Lord Elrond had seen his eldest son at that moment, he would have instantly recognized his behavior as shock.  Although Elladan had suffered no physical injury, the mental anguish of the past years of searching, never knowing if or when he’d find his twin, never knowing if he suffered or called out for him...this all crashed down on him with the added burden of finding his brother so confused, so distant.  Elladan had been so strong for so long, never giving up, never admitting for even one minute that he may not find his twin, his best friend.  But now that Elrohir was found, the driving urgency of the search was gone and Elladan found himself free to face his darkest fears.  The fear that he’d find Elrohir too late and he’d be dead.  Or that he’d never find his twin and search a lifetime, which for an elf could be an eternity.  Or the fear that may have been realized today, that he’d find Elrohir, but whatever he’d been through had so changed him that things would never be the same.  Yes, that had been a secret fear as well and now that it was a real possibility, Elladan had to find an inner strength somewhere to deal with it.

Long minutes passed as the silence of the forest was broken by the elf’s anguished cries.  Then slowly, the older twin brought himself under control.  He sighed shakily as he finally calmed down and even managed to snicker at himself.  He hadn’t done anything like this since he and Elrohir had been little elflings!  Even when their mother had been taken and then found, broken, Elladan had been the strong one and had held his younger brother and sister as they had cried for their loss.  Elladan, although only minutes older than Elrohir, had felt that he always had to be strong, that as the oldest brother he had to be the fortress that sheltered the others.  And he had always done that job to perfection.  As he sat in the tree, however, it dawned on him just how much Elrohir was a part of his strength.  With Elrohir by his side, Elladan had always had the certainty of knowing...not just thinking or hoping, but knowing...that someone was there for him and always would be.  When you knew, without even having to think of it, that someone would always be watching your back, would always be there to support you when you needed it, would forgive you even when you didn’t deserve it, would share the joy of your triumphs and the sadness of your defeats, would give his very life for you as you would for him...well, that kind of knowledge gave one such an inner strength that you could defeat practically anything that the world threw at you!

Elladan drew another deep breath, this one more steady than the last.  Yes, he’d needed to remind himself of the strength that he and his lifelong companion drew from each other.  It helped him to remember just what they’d promised when they were small children--that no matter what happened, they would always be there for one another.  It wasn’t that he’d questioned that commitment.  No...that hadn’t been the problem.  He had momentarily been overwhelmed with the fear that whatever he did might not be enough.  What if he wasn’t strong enough to do what it took to support Elrohir in his struggle to regain his life?  But now the older twin smiled as he realized that he had Elrohir back at his side and together they could overcome any obstacle.  Even if his twin never spoke or never remembered his past, they would simply build new memories while he showed his brother just how much he was loved and missed. 

As strong resolve grew inside Elladan, a frustrated whinny from below drew his thoughts firmly back into the here and now.  Looking down at his horse beneath the tree, Elladan laughed out loud when he saw that the worried animal was practically trying to climb the tree to get to his distressed master.  He wiped his eyes quickly and then made his way down to his loyal friend, giving him a quick hug and a pat for his obvious concern.  Low words of comfort settled the horse back down and after a short scratch of his ears in affection, Elladan sprang onto his back and they once again set off, only this time truly on a hunt for the breakfast rabbits.

Elladan returned to the brothers’ campsite after about an hour.  Carrying a couple of large rabbits and once more showing the calm, in-control visage that he was known for, the older twin simply exuded confidence and Aragorn noted his arrival with pleasure.  The jumpy elf who had practically run out of their camp was gone and had been replaced with one who was much more like the brother he knew and could trust to make everything work out!  He had obviously found whatever answer he’d been looking for while he was gone and Aragorn was grateful for the change.  In fact, overall the ranger was feeling pretty good as he took the rabbits from his brother and began to prepare them.  Elrohir had behaved himself quite well while Elladan had been gone and now everything just seemed rosier than it had yesterday. 

Aragorn whistled a small tune while he worked around the campsite.  Things were finally looking up and the ranger’s natural optimism once more was evident.  Elladan was cheerily brushing down his horse, Elrohir was quietly building up the fire as requested, and he was feeling so happy that he was constantly having to wipe a grin off his face.  Yes, things were definitely looking up!

********************