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Home-coming  by Ellynn

Note:

Big hug and thanks to Curiouswombat for beta-reading and fixing my grammar.


In the beginning of the battle, everything was different. The whole huge field in front of the city was filled with our army. The numbers were on our side.

Now, everything changed. The horsemen from the north came to the city's aid, as well as many men by ships. The balance of power reversed.

I retreated to the background, and now I observe. I don't think there is a chance for our victory anymore. What am I supposed to do? To run forward and to try to kill as many enemies before they cut me down? Or... or do I simply turn my back to all this and go home?

I want to live. I am no longer young, but I don't feel like dying yet.

I have had enough of this. We all started this campaign because we were told that we would conquer new lands, that after our victory in war we would have so much more than before. It sounded good. Who wouldn't want to have more? And so we set out. Curiosity, call of adventure, wish for the prize – all of those affected our decision.

But still... my home, my true home, is there in the south, in our beautiful country. Here... it is not bad, but it is colder than I prefer. Besides... No, this is not my fight. I am past my prime, and perhaps I don't have many more years in front of me. But I don't want to lose the time that I still have left, and even more important, I don't want to lose my life for someone else's goals and ambitions. I no longer want to hear about the mighty distant master. The key word is – distant.

And because of all that, I turn around. My homeland calls me. I feel it in my bones, I feel it deep inside of me, in every part of my body. I turn my back to the clamour of steel and screams, and my feet move southwards.

After a mile or two I look back, and I discover that I am not the only one who decided to leave; three more follow my way. I stop and wait for them, and then we continue together. We walk in silence; the only sound comes from our footsteps.

Only three. Is everyone else dead? I turn my head towards the cursed field again. Now it is only a hazy shadow in the distance, and the dust above it blurs it even more. I am too far away, and I can't discern anything anymore. Maybe there are some survivors... but it is also possible that there aren't.

I close my eyes, and my heart breaks. I have known many of them since my early years, and now they will not return home with me. I will never see them again.

Oh, where is my home, how far is it? Where is my oasis, my little river, the meadows of my youth? My home, I return to you, sad and hurt...

-x-x-x-

Step by step. Countless miles pass beneath our feet, yet it feels like nothing is changing, like the landscape around us is the same all the time. As if we hadn't covered even the smallest part of our way.

Was the journey really this long when we went northwards?

Day by day. I don't know anymore how many passed. Five? Ten? A hundred? The whole life?

Did it last so long back then too?

Step by step.

Did the wind lash us this much on the way to the north? Did the sand sting our eyes then too? Was it really this hard to breathe as it is now? I don't know.

Day by day.

Did the sun scorch us this much while going northwards? Was it this difficult to find food? Were we so hungry? Everything seemed different back then. Everything seemed easier.

Will I make it? Will I survive this journey? Or will this war claim my life after all, even though I survived the battle? Oh, how I would like to lie on the soft grass of my oasis, to taste the sweet water of my river...

Step by step. Moving our tired feet becomes more and more difficult.

One of us fell. He just lay on the dry sand and didn't get up anymore.

Will I end that way too...?

We move on. Day by day by day. Step by step by step.

-x-x-x-

The journey was endless... but finally, it is there. It is in front of us. At first only a thin, elusive greenish line in the distance, barely visible. Maybe unreal? Maybe only the result of our home-yearning? But no. It really is there. With every step – bigger, greener, brighter.

Our oasis. Our home.

Oh how wonderful it is to see it! My steps lengthen and quicken, and my bruised feet are no longer heavy. A little bit more, just a little bit more, and I'll be home. I'll meet my family. And old friends.

Step by step by step! And here I am, closer and closer! My eyes search the surrounding pastures. And there they are! My friends, my kin, my only family. Some of them slowly graze, and others perform some tasks for the humans.

We hurry towards them, and they spot us. Humans halt their daily chores and motionlessly stare at us, while my kin moves towards us. Dust raises beneath their feet, and the thunder of our heavy steps echoes around. As I hurry to meet them, I take a few more glances towards the humans and their settlement. There are so few of them, and they are so miserable! Only women and children remained here. There are just a few males, and those few that are here – all are old ones. The surrounding fields also look miserable – unkept and full of weed. But I couldn't care less about humans and their problems! I no longer care if they'll survive or starve. Because now I see – we shouldn't have responded to their summons. Their wars brought nothing good for us.

I hurry on and look around. All I now want is to meet my mate and our offspring. Where are they? Are they well? I observe those that run towards us. Where are they?! Oh, I see them, they are coming! A few moments more and we are together. My old friend – my mate, and the children. We touch with our heads, tusks, and trunks. My whole body shivers. Here I am, in my home, on my pastures, with my family.

But many others are not as lucky as I am. Because, although the humans suffered much greater losses than we did – simply because so many more of them went to war – it's not just them that are decimated. Our numbers shrank a lot, too, because so many of us didn't return. Only three of us arrived home.

If only we had never started that journey. If only we hadn't gone to that cursed war. If only we hadn't listened to stories about new lands and fields. If only we hadn't agreed to serve humans.

Never again. We will never serve or follow them again. I don't want to be close to them ever again, not a single day more. We should go somewhere far from them. Somewhere where we'll be surrounded only by juicy grass and clear water, where there will be bright stars above us, where there will be no humans and their steel.

Yes. Yes. We will do just that. I'll tell the others. They will surely agree. And we will go to a new life. Somewhere where we'll live in peace.





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