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IN THE HONOURED HIGH COURT
OF GONDOR AND ARNOR
Case No. HCGA –
COMES NOW the Plaintiff, Frodo Baggins ("Plaintiff Baggins") and alleges in support of Baggins’ Complaint as follows:
2. Defendant Aragorn Son Of Arathorn, aka Strider aka Thorongil aka Elessar aka Estel aka Frankie “The Hammer” of Pelargir aka Mr. Fancy-Pants aka Dúnadan aka Wingfoot aka Envinyatar aka Any Other Name, individually and d/b/a Aragorn Elessar Telcontar, King of Gondor and Arnor (collectively referred to as “Defendant Aragorn”)
4. Defendant Faramir, son of Denethor, House of Húrin, aka The Spare, individually and d/b/a as Prince of Ithilien and Steward of Gondor, (collectively referred to as “Defendant Faramir”) is an individual with his principle place of business in Emyn Arnen, Ithilien, Gondor and a secondary place of residence in Minas Tirith, Gondor.
5. This Court has jurisdiction pursuant to 19 G.A.C. § 1115 as this is an action arising under the laws or treaties of Gondor and Arnor.
6. Venue of this action is improper in this Court pursuant to 19 G.A.C. § 128. As one defendant is King of Gondor and Arnor, and another is Steward of Gondor, counsel for Plaintiff Baggins will be submitting a motion for change of venue, for fear of drawing a prejudicial jury.
7. Plaintiff Baggins repeats and realleges the allegations contained in paragraphs 1 through 7 as though fully set forth herein.
8. During Plaintiff Baggins’s residence at Bagshot Row, Hobbiton, Westfarthing, The Shire, Defendant Gandalf did willfully and maliciously harass Plaintiff Baggins into undertaking a journey of great physical and mental peril. Such harassment included, but was not limited to: threatening Plaintiff Baggins with “fading”, mental domination by “The Ring”, “the fall of Middle Earth into darkness”, “making all the hair on (Plaintiff Baggins’) toes fall out”, and other various and sundry forms of magical retribution if Plaintiff Baggins did not undertake said journey. It is well-documented that Defendant Gandalf possesses some form of charismatic magic, which allows him to enchant those unskilled in the magical arts into obeying his every command, even distinctly non-Tookish Hobbits (see:Bilbo Baggins vs. Gandalf the Grey et.al vs. Surviving Members of Thorin Oakenshield and Company, LLC).
11. Plaintiff Baggins holds that without Defendant Gandalf’s unlawful and unwanted coercions and harassments, he would not today suffer from severe, irreversible psychological damage, including but not limited to, night terrors, “flashbacks”, fear of giant eagles, fear of Rangers, fear of pointy hats, fear of gold jewelry, fear of the Big People (i.e., Men, excluding Sons of Eorl), fear of lava-spewing mountains, fear of lembas, and arachnophobia. He would also still be in possession of all his digits and his faith in the Maia and the Valar.
12. Additionally, “The Ring” was a family heirloom, and the loss of it has caused Plaintiff Baggins and his elderly cousin great anguish. (Exhibit “C” for a history of “The Ring”).
13. As a direct and proximate result of the Defendant Gandalf’s coercion, harassment, infliction of mental harassment, bodily harm, and other violations of the law, Baggins has been damaged and is entitled to compensation (Exhibit “D” for monetary calculation of said damage).
14. Baggins repeats and realleges the allegations contained in paragraphs 1 through 14 as though fully set forth herein.
15. After being placed under enchantment by Defendant Gandalf, Plaintiff Baggins left his home to journey to the villainous town of Bree, where he unwillingly made the aquaintance of one “Dúnedain” Ranger called “Strider” in a disreputable establishment known as “The Prancing Pony”. Unbeknownst to Plaintiff Baggins, “Strider” was in fact “Aragorn son of Arathorn”, purported Heir of Isildur. However, “Strider” did not make his identity known, no doubt due to the fact that Isildur had previously owned “The Ring” and therefore in reality is the one to blame for all this.
16. Defendant Aragorn intimated to Plaintiff Baggins that “queer folk” were about, in a blatant attempt to frighten Plaintiff Baggins, and later ordered Plaintiff Baggins to “stop talking”. Defendant Aragorn also demanded that Plaintiff Baggins “must take (him) along with (Plaintiff Baggins), until (he) wish(ed) to leave (Plaintiff Baggins).”
17. Plaintiff Baggins was unwillingly forced to have private, undefended conversation with “Strider”. He did not learn of “Strider”’s true identity until a letter from Defendant Gandalf was presented to him, at which time “Strider” reluctantly revealed himself as “Defendant Aragorn”. Defendant Aragorn then threatened Plaintiff Frodo with a broken, yet still deadly sword which Defendant Aragorn claimed was the mythical “Narsil”.
18. Defendant Aragorn then insisted that Plaintiff Baggins and his party accompany him to Rivendell, aka Imladris, aka The Last Homely House (“Rivendell”). Fearing for his safety and life, Plaintiff Baggins agreed. During said journey, Plaintiff Baggins was forced to subsist on less than four meals a day and to sleep on the ground, even though there are many reputable cafes and restaurants, as well as snug, cozy hotels and bed-and-breakfast establishments along their chosen route to Rivendell. Some nights, Plaintiff Baggins was not even allowed a fire and was verbally abused when requests for such warmth were made.
19. Defendant Aragorn gave his honourable word that Plaintiff Baggins would reach Rivendell safely, only to abandon Plaintiff Baggins and his party on Weathertop, aka Amon Sûl. This led to Plaintiff Baggins being stabbed by a “Morgul blade” wielded by a “Nazgûl”. (Exhibit “E” for effects of said blade and description of so-called Nazgul.) Plaintiff Baggins would have died of his wound en route to Rivendell, if not for the intervention of a third party of Elven lineage, one “Glorfindel”.
20. Upon reaching Rivendell, Defendant Aragorn abandoned Plaintiff Baggins once again, and showed no remorse at having not been present throughout the attack on Weathertop.
21. At the so-called “Council of Elrond”, Plaintiff Baggins was again coerced and harassed by Defendants Aragorn and Gandalf into taking “The Ring” to the Black Lands. Let it also be noted that one Lord Boromir son of Denethor, House of Húrin (“Boromir”) attempted to dissuade such a course of action, and was roundly mocked by Defendants Gandalf and Aragorn. (Exhibit “F” for transcript of Council) (see: Estate of Boromir son of Denethor, House of Húrin vs. Gandalf the Grey et. al vs. Aragorn son of Arathorn et. al.)
23. Further damages inflicted upon Plaintiff Baggins include but are not limited to: near-death on Caradhras, near-death by an unknown creature in a body of water at the Gates of Moria (Khazad-dûm), near-death by Orc in Moria proper, near-death by Balrog, also in Moria proper, exposure to forced mental intrusion by one Galadriel, Lady of Lothlórien, severe physical and mental abuse as well as attempted theft of “The Ring” by Boromir, near-death in the Black Lands, both by ambient environments and kidnapping by orcs, not to mention sore feet, poisoning by giant carnivorous spider, starvation and dire thirst, constant threat of death by Nazgûl, forces of the Dark Lord, and one now deceased Sméagol, aka Gollum. Had Defendant Aragorn kept his “honourably given word” to defend Plaintiff Baggins on his quest, many of these dangers would undoubtedly have been avoided completely. Furthermore, had Defendant Aragorn taken responsibility for his ancestor’s irresponsible actions as is laid out in 2 G.A.C. § 001, Plaintiff Baggins could have returned to his comfortable home in the Shire and would have been subjected to none of the above or following trials and tribulations.
25. Plaintiff Baggins repeats and realleges the allegations contained in paragraphs 1 through 25 as though fully set forth herein.
26. Defendant Faramir did willfully and maliciously take Plaintiff Baggins captive and hold him in an undisclosed location.
27. Defendant Faramir then interrogated and harassed Plaintiff Baggins as to his purpose in Ithilien, without first informing Plaintiff Baggins of his rights.
28. Though Plaintiff Baggins answered such unlawful interrogatories, Defendant Faramir became ever more persistent and abusive, “trying to trap (Plaintiff Baggins) in words, playing with (Plaintiff Baggins)” in an attempt to wring more information from him.
29. Only after ruthlessly questioning Plaintiff Baggins did Defendant Faramir reveal himself as brother to Boromir. He then proceeded to callously inform Plaintiff Baggins that Boromir, whom Platintiff Baggins considered a friend, was presumed dead, inflicting much mental anguish upon Plaintiff Baggins. Additionally, upon relaying this information, Defendant Faramir took to speaking in a disjointed, rambling manner, quoting lengthy passages from poems, while continuing to interrogate Plaintiff Baggins in an unlawful manner. Exposure to such obvious mania constitutes yet another form of harassment.
30. Upon discovering that Plaintiff Baggins held “The Ring”, Defendant Faramir assured Plaintiff Baggins that he would not “take this thing if it lay by the highway”, then flatly refused Plaintiff Baggins any guide or help into the Black Lands. Though Defendant Faramir claimed to be a man of honour, he forcibly ejected Plaintiff Baggins from the safety of previously mentioned undisclosed location without so much as a map, a compass, or list of reputable hotels. Additionally, Defendant Faramir provided Plaintiff Baggins only with “supplies” far past the expiration date, thus dooming Plaintiff Baggins to making his own, ill-equipped way through exceedingly dangerous and hostile unfamiliar territory.
31. Defendant Faramir also willfully and maliciously allowed a member of Plaintiff Baggins’ party to enter a restricted area, then threatened said party member with death, even though the borders of said area were not clearly marked. These actions are in clear and obvious violation of 14 G.A.C. § 964 and 27 G.A.C. § 593.
32. Furthermore, had Defendant Faramir made restitution for his brother’s rude and unseemly actions (see: Frodo Baggins et. al. vs. The Estate of Boromir son of Denethor, House of Húrin, also Estate of Boromir et. al. vs. Frodo Baggins et. al. ) as laid out in 2 G.A.C. § 005, Plaintiff Baggins could have taken his ease in previously mentioned undisclosed location, and avoided traveling in the Black Land altogether.
33. As a direct and proximate result of Defendant Faramir’s kidnapping, unlawful interrogation, harassment, misrepresentation of identity, infliction of mental anguish, and other violations of the law, Plaintiff Baggins has been damaged and is entitled to compensation (Exhibit “H” for monetary calculation of said damage).
WHEREFORE, Plaintiff prays for judgment against Defendants for damages, including, but not limited to, loss of body parts, peace of mind, sanity, a great deal of weight, his entire house, pain and suffering, punitive damages, as well as all costs and attorneys fees incurred herein. Plaintiff prays for such other and further relief as the Court deems fair, equitable and just and reserves the right to amend this Complaint as discovery proceeds in this matter.
Chetwood Sandyman Jr. SBA #565
Alain Dunson SBA #131
For the Firm
SANDYMAN AND DUNSON
15 ½ Stable Alley
Bree, Bree-land, Eriador
COUNSEL FOR FRODO BAGGINS
JURY TRIAL DEMANDED
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