In honour of my first bunny in over a year here is another story I dug up. Thanks to Rhaps and Lea for the beta even if they are no longer here to see it.

I stood alone at the crest of a hill. Across the bay of Balar I could see the smoke still rising from Sirion, a massacre of a scale unseen since Doriath. But it had been Elven blades, not Dwarvish axes, that had wrought Sirion’s doom. Ennor was now forever marked, Feanor’s oath stamped and sealed by blood into its foundations.

Yet the sun had the audacity to shine brightly upon this blasphemy. Around me flowers bloomed and meadows stretched away to the edge of the forests, vibrant and fresh. I had come up here to escape the filth and despair of the camps and now felt mocked by the beauty around me.

Darkness and cloud would have better suited my mood. I could not endure the bright blue of the skies and the song of the birds, not after Nargothrond, after Doriath and now Sirion.

I watched as the smoke curled up into the embrace of the void, taking with it the last remnants of my home.

 “Like seeds on the breeze are we,” I whispered, speaking, I thought, only to the empty air.

“That is a cryptic piece of advice even from you, my Lord Celeborn.”

“Erenion,” I drew myself out of musing with a soft sigh and turned to regard the High King. “Nay, it is not advice, for I did not know that any stood nearby. It is a melody I sang to Elwing when first we fled Doriath.”

At the mention of my niece he grew quiet, studying the dark stain on the horizon just as I had done. I sighed, taking in a breath of air tainted by the taste of smoke, and turned to speak to him.

“How do the people fare?”

“As well as can be expected.”

I learned more from what he did not say and how he did not frown than from his words. It was a cruel fate that had been dealt to this boy-king. He had grown up in exile in a strange land and now had lost not only his Father and Mother but the remainder of his family too. I knew well the pain of such a loss.

“And how do you fare?”

Erenion rubbed a hand across his eyes and smiled ruefully. “I trust you will not believe my lies.”

“I am no seer like Galadriel, so I do not know your heart, but I will give you counsel if you desire it.”

As I spoke his whole frame seemed to wilt with fatigue, as if he were bowing under the immense weight now thrust upon him.

“The last of the boats have returned with survivors. They have found no signs of the children of Earendil.”

Now I felt the heaviness. Another Eluréd, another Elurín, so many young lives cut short, so many families grief-stricken by this darkness. How long could we withstand its onslaught?

Erenion sat suddenly in the grass, half hidden by its height.

“It is my fault…” he said brokenly. “I did not find them in time. I failed at the first test.”

“Do not doubt yourself,” I said gently, sinking to the ground beside him, “blame does not lie with you; but with those who carried out the Kinslaying.”

“I should have been there!” He reached down and tore a handful of grass from the earth, as if shredding more life would ease his frustration. “Who am I to call myself High King of the Noldor when I was not there to protect them at their darkest hour?”

“Erenion…”

“Do not tell me that I am worthy!” He snorted. “For I know that I am not. And do not tell me that I did right in staying here instead of being in Sirion with my people.”

“If you are so intent on rejecting my advice,” I replied mildly, ignoring the anger in his tone, “then why have you come to ask it?”

“I did not come to ask advice.” He stopped suddenly as if frightened by his next words. “I came to ask you if you would accept the kingship from me.”

I stared at him, my mouth hanging open like a fool but I could find no words. I had expected him to be dejected, true enough, he had reason for it, but this?

“No!” I burst out finally, my eloquence banished by the shock of the request. How could I be even a king of the Noldor, let alone High King over their whole people? Was he entirely bereft of sense? Eventually I formed my racing thoughts into a coherent frame.

“Why do you ask this?”

He gazed out across the bay. “You were there when I was not. You acted when I did not. You saved lives where I did not. It is you, not me, that the people have to thank for emerging alive from the slaughter; you are a better ruler than I will ever be.”

His voice was bitter with self-loathing and regret. I frowned at his words.

“They would not have me.”

“But they would.” Erenion seemed to lose his reticence now that he had voiced his worries, “I have thought upon it. You have married the daughter of Finarfin and so have a claim by marriage.”

“I have no claim to the leadership of the Noldor, by marriage or otherwise. Nor does Galadriel; there are too many who see her marriage to me as a betrayal of her roots. Besides, the Noldor would not suffer a Sindar as their king.”

“They accepted Earendil…”

“But you are the High King.” I returned, “even if you stepped aside they would think me a usurper and Galadriel a traitor. There would be a revolt, another Kinslaying.”

“But I cannot do it.” He implored, “I cannot bear the burdens. My people have known only death under my rule. I was not there-”

“And if you had been there to resist they would have slain you too, and then where would your people be? Who would they look to? It is a great task as well I know.”

“That is why I ask this of you, you have governed a realm, you are older and wiser than I.”

“I cannot take this burden from you, and you know it well. You are a leader born whether you wish it or nay. ”

His eyes pleaded with me and I saw the crown of the Noldor upon my head and their doom upon my shoulders. I felt such sorrow for the pain of my young friend, and yet more sorrow because I could do nothing to relieve it.

“I cannot be what you are, nor can I do what you must do.” I laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You will grow wiser and you will prevail.”

“But what people do I rule? Our homes have been broken and destroyed by Morgoth and now he hunts us like beasts. We are a defenseless and defeated people, refugees in a land where once our cities and kingdoms were its crowning glory.”

“You rule the Noldor- and you are no broken people. You are strong, you are proud and you will not lie down in defeat. There have been losses before and we have made them up, cities can be rebuilt and strength regained.”

“I think you have too much confidence in me.”

I thought of how to answer him and found that the words of the melody had returned to my mind, and then I recalled why it was I had sung them to Elwing.

“Like seeds on the breeze are we,” I said again, “ but think upon it; even the grandest tree comes from the smallest seed. We will endure and grow strong again.”

“It is such a beautiful day.” He sighed as if he wanted to say more and then rose to his feet. “I should be seeing to the wounded.”

And he walked away, but his shoulders were straighter and his head was higher. Yes, I thought, he would be an Elven King who would rule rightly.