Characters: Merry Brandybuck, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli

As always, these are not my characters. This story is based on the
writings of J. R. R. Tolkien and I have borrowed his characters to tell this
story.

Before you read any further, I would like to thank Marigold for doing the Beta on this for me. This is the first story that I have ever had Beta’d and I found it to be very helpful in many ways. As you read this, remember that at one point a great deal of it was misspelled. Thanks to Marigold that has changed.
GW (01-05-03)

Merry’s Anger

Aragorn took the steps three at a time using the full stride of his long
legs in an effort to catch his young friend. "Merry!" he called out. Just at
the first turn, Aragorn nearly collided with a guard who was making his way
up the stairs at a normal pace. The man grunted as Aragorn pushed past him,
gave a long-suffering look, but said nothing. Aragorn mumbled a hasty
"excuse me" but didn't slow his pace.

Upon reaching the watch platform Aragorn spotted the hobbit, standing at
one of the lower points in the railing, shoulders tense, hands gripping the
edge tightly. Aragorn walked over to join his friend, wondering what he
could say to comfort him. He looked down at the young hobbit whose eyes were
following the swift progress of the powerful, white horse and it's riders as
they faded from view.

Meriadoc Brandybuck, the hobbit in question, was leaning slightly forward
as he peered into the distance. His blue eyes were fixed on the horse, his
mouth was set in a grim line. He looked as if he might shatter if not
approached carefully. Aragorn shook his head and looked on in sympathy.
"Now what are you going to do?" Merry muttered, shaking his head as the
white horse, Shadowfax, and his riders passed from view. The hobbit still
looked out onto the plain taking no notice of Aragorn or the guards on the
platform. "What am I going to do?"

"Merry," Aragorn began gently, laying a hand on the hobbit’s shoulder.
"Gandalf will look after Pippin."

"Yes, well I doubt he knows what he’s let himself in for," Merry sighed,
reluctantly turning from the rail and looking up at the man. "He can’t begin
to know."

"I am sure you are right. I don’t think Pippin realized what he was in
for, Merry," Aragorn said. "I believe he was drawn to the stone by its very
nature. Few could have withstood it."

"I was talking about Gandalf," Merry said. "I only hope he keeps both eyes
on Pippin at all times. That one needs watching you know."

Aragorn studied Merry’s face and knew that his friend was quite serious.

"I imagine that Gandalf will be able to keep watch over Pippin, Merry. You
need not worry." Aragorn tried not to smile. The very idea that a wizard of
Gandalf’s power would be unable to watch out for one small hobbit amused him
but he dared not let Merry see this. He made an effort to compose himself
but apparently it was not a very good effort.

"You think I’m joking don’t you?" Merry said, shaking his head. "Have you
been paying any attention during this journey at all?" Merry frowned and
turned to go toward the stairs.

"Enlighten me," Aragorn said, as he followed the young hobbit, amused at
Merry’s disgust with his powers of observation. "What have I missed, Master
Brandybuck?"

The two of them began the climb down the stairs with Merry slightly in
front, headed down watching his steps as the stairs were meant for larger
beings than hobbits. "I suppose you missed our entire journey through the
Mines of Moria," Merry reflected. "You couldn’t have been there or you would
know I am right."

Aragorn smiled. "I am assuming that you are referring to the incident with
the skeleton at the well near Balin’s tomb."

Merry nodded. "The very same." They turned the corner onto the lower
flight with Merry still watching his feet.

Aragorn sighed. "Well, yes, that was something of a disaster."

"He just had to touch that skeleton! So like him," Merry assured the man
in disgust.

Aragorn bit his lip to stop a smile remembering the look on poor Pippin’s
face as the skeleton crashed to the depths of the mine while everyone looked on.

Gandalf had been livid. Had they not been in such a dire situation soon
after, Pippin's actions might have afforded them all a brief respite from
their tension. The youngest hobbit often, without meaning to, lightened
their mood with his innocent curiosity. At that point, however, their
peril had left no time for mirth or reflection. It was only now, knowing
that Gandalf was alive, that the event could be seen in an amusing light.
Aragorn was sure that Merry didn't really mean to blame Pippin for those
events.

"One might argue that it was Gimli’s insistence on stopping at the tomb
that brought us to that fate, or after Legolas objected to our lingering,
Gandalf’s insistence on reading the book that was found near the tomb, or it
might well be blamed on Balin himself and others like him who delved too
deeply in the mines, waking the Balrog to begin with. You cannot lay all of
the blame on Pippin. What happened was the result of many factors, Merry."
When Merry seemed unconvinced, Aragon tried a different approach. "I seem
to remember a certain Brandybuck who was skipping stones across the pool in
front of the mines just before we met the Watcher in the Water. We have, all
of us, made mistakes on this journey, Merry. Pippin is not alone in his
folly."

"Go back further and remember The Prancing Pony in Bree," Merry said
ignoring the mention of the rock throwing incident as they descended the
last of the stairs. "If Pippin hadn’t been yammering away about Frodo being
a Baggins, well then Frodo might not have run over and fallen.

The Ring would not have wound up on his finger at that moment." Then Merry went into
an impersonation of Pippin’s brogue. "Baggins, sure I know a Baggins, Frodo
Baggins, he’s my second cousin."

Aragorn sighed, smiling at the accuracy of the impression. "That was a
slip of the tongue and Pippin could hardly have foreseen the results. You
are being a bit critical aren’t you?"

Merry grunted and they came upon level ground, running into a worried
looking Legolas and Gimli.

"Ah, there you are young hobbit," Gimli said, looking at Merry with
relief. Legolas and Aragorn exchanged looks over the heads of their two
companions. The Dwarf stood but a few inches taller than Merry. The four of
them made an odd gathering, the tall, graceful elf, the weathered ranger,
the mail-clad Dwarf, and the young hobbit. Those passing looked at them in
wonder, though the four took no notice of this. Each had his mind on the
parting of friends.

During their journey, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli had each noted the
closeness between the two youngest hobbits. Merry and Pippin relied on one
another. They were almost always together. It was rare to see one without
the other. Now Merry was the only hobbit among the big folk in Rohan as
Pippin would be the only hobbit in Gondor. It seemed to Aragorn that no
race in all of Middle Earth depended upon their own kind as much as hobbits did.

 It would be difficult for both of them, most of all Merry. Pippin had
known Gandalf for most of his life, but Merry was among new friends. He had
no shared history with these big folks.

"Now don’t you worry about the young lad. Gandalf will look out for him,"
Gimli said, patting Merry on the shoulder firmly.

"Everyone seems to think so," Merry sighed, looking at Aragorn. "I never
should have let him go."

"I was unaware that you had a choice in the matter," Legolas said.

"Yes, well, all the same, I never should have allowed it. Not without a
fight," Merry said, throwing his shoulders back and looking fiercely at the
elf. This determination was not unusual. Merry, of all of the hobbits,
seemed to possess the most combative personality. Often when he set his mind
to a thing the other members of the Fellowship forgot his size because Merry
didn’t seem to regard it as a factor. Aragorn had noted that Merry was a
natural leader and a fair strategist. The man had often wondered what had
drawn this one into a friendship with the easy-going, sometimes naive,
Pippin.

Yet there could be no denying that the two were the dearest of friends.
Just last night, fear had filled Merry’s eyes while Gandalf leaned over
Pippin trying to revive him after the young Took had gazed into the seeing
stone. Pippin had been shaken and very frightened while the wizard
questioned him about the experience. Merry, who had been pushed aside by
Gandalf, sat motionless, waiting to go to his friend as soon as he was
allowed.

Despite his fear and worry, it was very clear that Merry was angry about
the incident. Pippin had been very contrite. The younger hobbit had
apologized repeatedly to anyone that would listen, feeling foolish and
guilty. Aragorn had noticed that it had been Merry’s forgiveness that Pippin
had sought most. Merry, on the other hand, had not been quick to forgive. He
had spoken firmly to Pippin and though he had stood beside his friend in the
meeting in the great hall, it had been easy to see the disapproval on his face.

Surely Pippin had seen it too.

"Gandalf took Pippin with him to keep him safe, Merry. You know why he had
to do this," Aragorn said, softly.

"Of course I know. He had to take Pippin with him because Pippin had to
have a look at that stone. He couldn’t just let it be. He had to see it!"
Merry said, raising his voice more with each word. Then softly he said, "He
had to see it because he is Pippin." What he didn’t say was how helpless he
had felt throughout it all, how he had always been the one to protect his
younger cousin and now someone else would be doing that.

"Merry, you must remember that the Palantir has a power of it’s own. Look
at what it did to Saruman and he is a very powerful wizard. If you had been
the one to retrieve the stone from the waters at Isengard, you might have
done the same," Aragorn said in an effort to soften Merry’s anger.

"I wasn’t and I didn’t," Merry returned. "I have more self control in
these matters. I do not act on impulse."

"How can you be sure that you would not have done what Pippin did and
removed the stone from the water?" Legolas asked.

"Because, I saw it and I ignored it," Merry said. "If Pippin sees a thing
of interest, he can’t ignore it even if it might be dangerous. He has to
find out what it is. He has to touch it. He has to look! I know how he is
and I should have done something." Merry’s anger was still fresh.

Aragorn knew that Merry’s anger was not all directed at Pippin even if the
hobbit didn’t realize this himself yet. Merry was hurting. He felt the
pain of parting from his cousin. There was also a bit of self-recrimination
at work here. Merry seemed to feel that he should have been able to do
something to prevent all of this.

"Well, I am afraid that it is out of our hands now," Aragorn said,
"Gandalf will take Pippin to Minas Tirith with him and keep him from harm.
We must continue on with what we need to do." Aragorn hoped his words would
soften Merry’s attitude a bit and ease his tension.

"Each of us must do as we are compelled," Legolas said, softly. "We cannot
judge the acts of another." Now the elf was trying to help sooth Merry.
Merry looked far away. He was remembering Pippin’s face when his younger
cousin had been in the grip of the Palantir . Pippin’s bright green eyes at
first were filled with wonder at the stone itself as his thin fingers
cradled the mysterious orb. Merry had tried to warn him but Pippin had shut
him out and concentrated only on the stone. Merry had watched in horror as
Pippin’s face transformed from gleeful curiosity to fear, then to pain.

Frozen by some fear of his own, Merry had been unable to help Pippin. He
had, at first thought to try to pry the stone from his cousin’s hands, but
something stopped him. He had only been able to watch as Pippin writhed on
the floor, his face twisted with agony. When he had again been able to act,
he called for help. Aragon and Gandalf had come to Pippin’s rescue this
time. Merry had been shoved aside. Useless again!

"Merry?" Aragorn frowned. The hobbit was lost in his thoughts and judging
from the expression on his face, they were not pleasant.

"I never should have allowed Pippin to come with us. I know him," Merry
said. "I should have made him stay in Rivendell with Bilbo where

he would have been safe. Then others would not have had to put up with his
curiosity."

"Could you have done that to him?" Aragorn asked, gently. "Could you have
seen him left behind? Could you have dealt him the fate that you, yourself
fought to avoid?"" Aragorn was kneeling in front of Merry now, his hands on
the hobbit’s shoulders.

"He is so young and so much trouble," Merry said, evading the question.
"He has always been so. As a small lad he was into everything. I had to
rescue him from trees, older lads, and angry adults. It was always
something. He was never still."

"Are you quite sure that you are angry at Pippin for his behavior?"
Aragorn asked, looking into Merry’s eyes.

"I have every right to be, don’t you think?" Merry returned. "He has put
his life in danger by his actions. He was very fortunate that he didn’t
endanger Frodo and Sam as well. It would have hurt him deeply if he had
given Frodo away with his foolish antics. The only thing that kept him from
rendering this entire quest meaningless was the fact that he didn't reveal his
name to the Dark Lord. That alone saved us from ruin." Merry frowned.
"Pippin has a good heart. He would never hurt anyone intentionally, but he
doesn’t think things through."

Aragorn nodded. "As you have said, he is very young."

"Well, he is not my problem anymore. Gandalf will have to see to him. I
cannot help him now," Merry said, bitterly. Aragorn saw the beginning of
tears in Merry’s eyes, but the hobbit was fighting them off as best he
could.

"Pippin will be fine, Merry," Aragorn assured him.

"Will he?" Merry asked as the tears won out and ran down his cheeks. "How
will he stay out of trouble without me there to watch him? No one knows him
like I do! He’ll get himself killed!" Merry looked pleadingly at the man
before him. "Oh, Aragorn, what am I going to do now?"

Merry let out a small sob and then began to wipe his eyes with his sleeve.
"Throughout this quest, Pippin and I have been like extra baggage. Little
rag tags hanging onto the coattails of others. We have simply been in the
way! At least, with Pippin here I felt I was doing something. I was keeping
watch over him." Merry gave a bark of a laugh. "I didn’t even manage to do
that very well did I? Let us hope that Gandalf has better luck."

"Merry, were it not for you and Pippin, Treebeard would never have joined
in the fight," Aragorn reminded him. "His help and the help of all of the
Ents gave us the victory at Isengard. It is because of you two the Huorns

were roused and came to rid us of the surviving orcs at Helms Deep. You and
Pippin accomplished much."

"Did we?" Merry wondered out loud. "And what of Frodo? We weren’t much
help to him. In the end, it was Sam that gave the best help to our cousin."

"He drew strength from your presence in the Fellowship, Merry. You and
Pippin gave him a connection with his beloved Shire. Do not be too quick to
discount your contributions to this quest. As Gandalf often says, even the
wisest cannot see all ends," Aragorn said. "You may yet have a role in all
of this as may Pippin. At least the young one’s actions have warned us of
the attack to come on Minas Tirith."

"All the same, I feel useless and now Pip is gone to Minas Tirith with
Gandalf! I know that Pippin realizes that I am angry with him," Merry said,
slowly. "I didn’t really forgive him before he left. It all happened so
fast."

"Yes, he probably does know that you are angry, Merry," Aragorn smiled.
"Have you never been angry with him before?"

"Well, of course," Merry said, "But he is gone now. I might not get the
chance_" Merry left the rest unsaid as all present knew what he meant. It
was too terrible to put into words.

"We must trust to hope, Merry. We all need to believe that we will see our
loved-ones again," Aragorn said. "You must hold onto that as I am sure
Pippin will."

"He will," Merry smiled. "He sees things in their most positive light. He
never thinks about things going ill." Merry looked at Aragorn and frowned.
"Do you think he will know that I still love him even though I was angry
when he left?"

Merry suddenly thought of his last moments with his cousin.

"You smoke too much, Pippin." Pippin had taken the pouch of Longbottom leaf that Merry
presented to him, but he had looked stung by Merry’s criticism It must have
hurt his cousin deeply coming, as it had, on top of his sudden understanding
that they were to be parted. Merry had been so angry. He wasn’t just angry
at Pippin for doing something foolish that could have cost him and others
their very lives. He was angry because Pippin’s actions had resulted in
this separation.

"I am sure he will, Merry. The two of you have been close for a very long
time after all," Aragorn said in a reassuring tone.

"All of our lives," Merry said, brushing back a tear. "I don’t know what I
will do without him. He may be a foolish young hobbit, but I depend on him
too in a way. He lightens my heart and makes me feel braver than I really am
because he sees me in a different way than others do. He looks up to me. It
has often kept me strong."

"He will know your heart, Merry. He will know in the same way that you
know his," Aragorn said and he smiled gently at Merry.

Merry straightened. "Thank you, Aragorn."

"Come Master hobbit," Gimli said, gruffly. "You can help me locate some
food. I have found during our short association, that there is no one
better than a hobbit for searching out food. We will need our strength." The
dwarf put an arm around Merry’s shoulders and the two of them walked off
together.

Aragorn and Legolas stood a while longer watching their two companions and
then followed them. Merry was going to need all of them in order to get
through this separation from Pippin. When observing the two hobbits, Aragorn
had always thought that Pippin was the one who would be lost without Merry.
It had never occurred to him that the reverse would also be true.

It seemed amazing to the future King of Gondor that one so strong as Merry
would need help in filing the void left by his younger cousin's absence. He
should have realized this as he had observed that Merry was a natural
care-giver. The young Brandybuck was ever watchful of his little cousin as
he had also been of Frodo. Aragorn now knew that it was not only Pippin's
actions that fuelled Merry's anger, but also a sense of a loss of purpose.
Who would Merry watch over now that Pippin was no longer here? "Legolas, my
friend." Aragorn said in a soft voice so that Merry and Gimli would not
overhear. "I fear that we shall have our hands full keeping Merry's mind
occupied. He will miss Pippin a great deal."

Legolas smiled and looked over at his friend. "We shall all miss the young
one, mellon nin. His laughter and sense of wonder have given us heart in
dark times."

"I am guilty of underestimating these young hobbits and their worth to this
Fellowship," Aragorn confessed. "I will not do so again." He put a hand
on the elf's shoulder and smiled. He looked in front of him at Merry and
Gimli who were deep in conversation and whispered, "Come, Legolas, let us
see to the needs of our dear friend, Merry."