Reviews (249)

Miriel · 15 October 2003 · Chapter 33: A Tisket, a Tasket

How very smart of Mrs. Cotton to give Estella a kerchief. I do believe that, as a girl, short hair might get tiresome. Although it is much easier to do, :) for hobbit girls it might be considered...shameful? Would that be the word? I enjoyed the banter between Estella and Frodo. It's nice how Estella seems simply to brighten everyone's life, where ever she goes. She's such a lovely character, and I really have never seen too much of her in any of your otehr stories, even "Jewels." Yes, she was in it, but this story really delves into her personality. I dearly love to see what would happen if Rose actually said yes to Merry...perhaps through a misunderstanding? Please? That must be truly hard for Estella, watching Merry, who we all know she likes! ;) beg Rosie to marry him, in jest or not. I know how I would feel! (Jealous, well, perhaps not jealous, maybe a bit, but mostly hurt, and sad.) I'm so glad that Freddy's getting better! You know what I've realized while reading all of this stuf about Estella and Merry? I think that, if you wanted to, since you've added so much backstory about Estella and Merry, you could probably add a bit to "Jewels." If you wanted to, of course. Excellent, once again!

Anonymous · 15 October 2003 · Chapter 34: The End of the Chase

I've just discovered Stories of Arda, and it looks like I've hit a mithril vein! So many talented and knowledgeable writers! It even feels cozy, as opposed to the vast ff.net. I am enjoying this tale immensely. 'Twas dark at first, but just like the title claims, was "a small and passing thing", making the light in later chapters brighter. And Fredegar! I'm so glad somebody sat down and took an interest in the fellow! He's always perked my curiosity. Most seem to take him for a placid homebody, but I was certain there had to be more to him. After all, he was a trusted member of the Conspiracy, and later, an active rebel! Wonderful to see your take on that. Such cheekiness in this chapter (*sighs* Merry, Merry...)! I love the quick-witted, familiar banter, and the abundance of nicknames! "Midge" in particular suits Estella and seems to hint at days when she was the excitable, pesty tag-along! Oh, and speak of the poor girl...I think Merry's been looking at her for so long, he doesn't truly see her! Oh the torment of unrequited love! *smirks* Well, we'll just have to fix that... Looking forward to your next post! Malva Brandybuck of Haysend (or so I'm told....)

Janice P. · 15 October 2003 · Chapter 34: The End of the Chase

I've been reading all your stories. It's too bad so many are unfinished, but I really, really enjoy what is here. I can see that your proofreaders and editors are doing a careful and thorough job. Your added or expanded characters (Ferdi the Fox, Merimac the Badger, Estella, Diamond, and Faramir & Goldilocks). I find the level of horrific detail perfect - not the nitty-gritty graphic details, but enough to truely understand what the character(s) are going through. I hope you continue to finish your many stories and will keep watch for more. I may leave idividual reviews at particular chapters or stories... Thanks for sharing your wonderful imagination. I have always felt the Shire bits of LOTR are the best bits, and I greatly enjoy learning more of what "might have" happened. Janice

FantasyFan · 14 October 2003 · Chapter 32: Black Sheep Shorn

If the biggest crisis Frodo has to deal with is Estella's hair, that's a good day. I love the easy familiarity between the two. I've noticed Frodo never calls her Estella (except that once) and Freddy hardly ever does either. She calls Frodo by his name more often, but she also calls him Fro and a great donkey. I can see her tagging along in Frodo's band with her brother and Merry and Pippin on jaunts through the Shire, the indulged little sister (even though she's older than Pip). I'd love to hear more stories of younger days, if you can manage to work them in. Frodo's little talk with Estella is just what she needs to hear (and he's letting her know that he thinks she's strong enough to hear it all). He's telling her the truth, but also that her instinct are right and that she has a good chance of helping Freddy recover. Of course, she just might have to keep her hair short from now on, and maybe go back to trousers on a bad day. I don't think she'll really mind. As far as Freddy not going home, he's 40 now and probably could use a hole of his own. Estella could come take care of him, for a few years at least, and create an eccentric reputation for herself. (I really am going to have to go re-read some of the earlier stories. I want to see what happens to them!) Frodo sending a message to Gandalf is a good idea; Gandalf might be able to help as he helped Pippin come back after he looked in the Palantir. But in the mean time the hobbits need to develop their own techniques for helping those affected by the troubles. I'm not sure Gandalf shows up again until the Havens anyway - as he says, his task is done. Ready for more action - what happens next?

Miriel · 14 October 2003 · Chapter 32: Black Sheep Shorn

Goodness, I can't beleive how many chapters this is already! Wow! This has really been wonderfully thoughtful insight on the lives of those after the lockholes. That's interesting how simple little things like Estella's hair set Freddy off. How evil of the wizard Saruman! Anyway, for a draft, this is better then many revised stories that I've had the misfortune of reading. Thank you for such a wonderful tale! Many cheers, and I look forward to your next update!

FantasyFan · 14 October 2003 · Chapter 31: The Lockholes, Revisited

Frodo may have welcomed a chance to go to the inn, to see hobbits laughing like old times, but I think he agreed more for the opportunity to question the former rebels. He's clever that way, you know. Now he's got a better understanding of how Saruman poisoned their minds, plus a lovely horrifying description of exactly what they did to Freddy's hands. The most important thing in this chapter, though is that Frodo's now starting to think about the fight against darkness in both a personal and practical way. Sam in the previous chapter has a vague feeling that Frodo needs to keep busy, focused outward, and not brooding. He might try to quietly arrange things that way, but he'll never keep Frodo from locking himself in the study to write and remember the pain. Frodo feels the warning inside, that he needs to keep himself physically strong and surrounded by hobbity goodness. The witch king and Shelob, however have ruined his health. And Frodo's natural tendancy to be a bit shy and somewhat of a loner won't help (that's how I've always seen him). Hope nothing bad is going on back at the Cotton's while Frodo's away. And I hope you don't get around to posting five chapters today, while I'm at a conference and can't read any of them!

FantasyFan · 14 October 2003 · Chapter 30: So Much to be Done

Here's another dimension to the wizard's dreams. Now that Estella is looking more like her old self, she's lost the ability to pull Freddy out of them. If they can figure it out, she may get her wish to go back to breeches. Frodo is effective with Freddy not only because he understands the darkness, but because for some reason Saruman never thought to poison Freddy's mind against him. Curious mistake for Saruman to make, since he seemed to know Freddy's importance (in the next chapter) - perhaps he knew him as the rebel leader, but didn't know he was one of Frodo's close friends. Merry is still needling Sam to get him to propose to Rosie. It doesn't seem to be working on Sam, but it's working on Rosie! I wonder how close she'll actually come to saying yes? That could be a very funny scene. I'm a little nervous for Frodo to leave Freddy for the evening, with only Mrs. Cotton to watch him. It takes very little to set him off when he's doing well, and he's not. The jokes are still there, and still funny, but his heart is clearly not in them.

Hai · 13 October 2003 · Chapter 31: The Lockholes, Revisited

Poor, Robin! (I start a lot of my reviews for this story that way) I was glad to see more of him, though! Terrible for him to be feeling responsible for what happened to Freddy! Looking forward to more and finding out what else happens to the Lockhole victims!

FantasyFan · 13 October 2003 · Chapter 29: Very Short Pause

I had one other question, in this chapter you wrote, Time for bed, he mouthed, and she pouted prettily. she mouthed back at him, and he chuckled softly enough not to waken the little one. Are there words missing from Rose's reply? Or just a missed capitalization? I envision a smart remark there...

FantasyFan · 13 October 2003 · Chapter 27: Wakening Once More

I like the new material, here and earlier. I think it does a good job of blending what Freddy sees in the waking world with what he percieves as the true reality, the lockholes and the Wizard's voice. It also sets up Estella's return from his point of view, and makes even more poignant Frodo's line later in the chapter that Freddy is much improved, since it's clear he's not. By the way, you need to change the chapter numbers in the first lines of the now Chapters 28 and 29, as they still say 27 and 28. I have tried to figure out what you changed in the new chapter 29, but I can't quite come up with it. Did you change what Sam says when he reopens the book? Also, I wonder about the line where Sam quotes Frodo, "There is evil in the world, Samwise. Hobbits must be warned, without becoming so intimately acquainted with it that they take it for granted." Take what for granted - Evil? That doesn't make much sense to me. Take the Shire for granted? I think Frodo said something like that when discussing his book, but that doesn't address the theme of taint. I think what you mean is something like, "Hobbits must know of it, so that they recognize and can stand firm against it, but they must not know it intimately lest it find purchase in their hearts." and if it is what you meant, I'm not sure the line says that. Unless you are saying something else and I'm missing it. Not beyond the realm of possibility at all.

Hai · 12 October 2003 · Chapter 29: Very Short Pause

Poor, Freddy!It is wonderful that he is back to improving! It seems what he needed was Estella all the time! I'm glad she was able to come home, too. What can possibly be more terrible then what they have already heard? Looking forward to finding that out! Can't wait for more, thank you!!

FantasyFan · 12 October 2003 · Chapter 29: Very Short Pause

It's kind of a scary little pause, if Sam isn't sure if the next part is fit for the ears of the adults. How much more evil is there to describe at this point? I would guess from the way Sam describes it, that Freddy is in for more troubles before his recovery, or that some evil done to others in the Shire is uncovered. So Merry and Frodo argued about how the history was to be described? Could it be that concern for Pippin influenced the final compromise?

FantasyFan · 12 October 2003 · Chapter 28: The Well-Groomed Gaffer

Well, you have written the scene with coherence and internal consistency. I do think Freddy's awakening is a little abrupt, but not to the point of failure. What would make it easier for me is just a little bit of the interior dialogue as Freddy returns to wakefullness. It wouldn't have to make the chapter a lot longer, but it's completely missing from this chapter as written. It is a long chapter however, and you may choose to make it into two. The part between Estella's return and the conversation of the four hobbits doesn't sparkle as much as your writing usually does - if the restoration of Bag End is important enough to the story to write about, it deserves a little more life. If it isn't, this could be a part to cut out. You have done a good job working the text from 'The Grey Havens' into the conversation, and a little Pippin angst, but there's no Merry teasing! I guess they're allowed to have a serious conversation once in a while. Freddy must be healing if he's ready to demand a bath and to walk down the hall by himself. I am assuming that his reaction to Rudi's innocent remark about shearing goes back to the second chapter, when Lobelia made a very similar comment while Freddy was at his worst. He was barely concious at the time, and it's funny what associations stuck in his mind. At least Rudi and Frodo are now alerted to look for the least sign of discomfort and counter it, whether they understand it or not. Estella is clearly good for Freddy and it seems she can get away with more than the others. The good memories outweigh the bad, when he focuses on her.

FantasyFan · 11 October 2003 · Chapter 26: This and That

It seems that Frodo has gotten at least one point across to Odo. But it takes Sam this time to make the connection to Freddy's latest torment. Freddy's not ready yet to be left with only the innocent hearts of his family to protect him. I see Frodo doesn't have to face the wrath of the Thain, not this time. I thought the comment by Regi was quite telling. Like gentling the bull in the china shop, everyone tries to work around Paladin to Pip's benefit. Regi sees what Frodo does, and probably tries to help whenever he can get away with it. I bet the Thain never does end up seeing this letter. It's hard to appreciate the good Paladin actually does do, like his protection of the Tookland from the ruffians, when his treatment of our favorite Took rankles so much. That Pippin turned out as level-headed and capable of love as he did is a testimony to his cousins (and Diamond). Regi has had too much practice keeping restless Tooks in bed. Merry doesn't have a chance with him, but the liver jokes are cute. And it's good to see that someone in Buckland cared enough to come and see how Merry was doing. Since Frodo was expected for breakfast, and I think it's actually farther to Buckland from the Smials than to Hobbiton, Merimac made darn good time. Estella's finally going home. Is she going to show up at the Cottons' as Twig, and scandalize poor Mrs. Cotton, or will her uncle find some way to get her a change of clothing before they arrive? If her original clothes are still at Rosemary's house, it's not exactly on the way, especially when they're in a hurry to see Freddy. I've finally figured out that Mum's name doesn't just mean short for mother, but also is short for Chrysanthemum. Convenient for her, but confusing. I actually went back to chapter 24 to see if Da's name was short for something too (but I couldn't make Harliburt into Da). Takes me a while sometimes. I hope her return will help Freddy turn the corner again. Your closing was witty as usual. The uppity servants aren't quite as sharp as the rural rubes after all. Except they came close to being right - Estella almost did become a good sturdy Took.

jodancingtree · 11 October 2003 · Chapter 10: Well-Met at Waymeet

I'm thoroughly enjoying this! Just one quibble, though -- you sent Frodo off to bed, while Merry & Folco went to meet the Bolgers -- then suddenly Frodo is there with Folco, getting on a pony! Oh, it's lovely though, and so true-to-life, Freddy's confusion and all... jo

FantasyFan · 11 October 2003 · Chapter 25: Midnight Snacks

Farmer Cotton looks at the letter from the Thain like it's from the IRS. Official communications usually mean bad news. Frodo's nowhere near as impressed. He gets Farmer Cotton to open it and asks Sam to answer it. I'm glad he doesn't even consider breaking his promise to Freddy, not even if Merry is dying (glad Merry isn't dying, then, if Frodo wouldn't come). He is fully aware that his touch and his words are all that are keeping Freddy from sinking deeper into the delusion and probably his only chance for recovery. And Frodo is not completely recovered himself, as you remind us here. Sam has learned to pull him out of Mordor where he lives in his own dreams. Makes me want to curl up around him and feed him honey and warm milk myself! I don't think the Thain is going to take it too well when he gets the answer back, especially if he finds it's been dictated to the gardener. Merry doesn't try to gainsay him, and I doubt many people attempt it. Paladin is used to having the last word, and not used to people who neither agree with his opinion nor jump to do his bidding. Frodo's stock goes down a few points with yet another worthy of the Shire. I feel sorry for Merry, as another who doesn't care for liver. I think I'd try the same trick of eating without chewing. He needs to develop his Took side quickly and protest the bed. Liver omlettes! How awful!

FantasyFan · 11 October 2003 · Chapter 24: Back at the Great Smials

I find Paladin interesting in the opening scene. Does he assume Pippin is injured because the hobbit he sees is taller than normal? I don't think so, since he's not seen Merry and Pippin much since they returned, and there hasn't been time for him to adjust his mental picture of his son. (Plus, Merry is being carried which would not emphasize his height.) Paladin has borne fear and grief for Pippin for a year, and it seems he's still worried about him, down deep. Of course, his concern only comes out when it would be impossible for Pippin to see it. As the outland-Tooks stand in the courtyard, I would expect Twig to take a bit of the lead. Hardy knows who she is now, and its not the first time Estella had been to the Smials. Why doesn't she? But regardless of her unfamiliarity, Chrysanthemum manages to say just the right things. Tooks are still smarting from their special treatment by the ruffians. The servants are sympathetic, but it seems that it is still a greater status to be a servant in the Smials than a rustic Took from the outlands. No wonder Diamond had troubles to overcome when she first arrived. Estella's got to start to make her adjustments. Etiquette and protocol, gossip and judgement. On the other hand, comforts and family, and release of the stress of keeping up this particular long play-acting. You can almost see her, in the last few lines, start to transform the memories of the past months into a story to be told on long winter nights, though I think she's play-acting for Ferdi too, in a different way. I don't think it's going to be quite as easy for her as it sounds here. Oh, by the way, I see you've abandoned the use of (she) as a pronoun. That seemed kind of awkward in the previous chapter where you used it, since we knew (if no one else did) that she was a she. Although, her status was awkward too. Would it have been confusing to just put 'he' where other people interacted with her as a boy, and 'she' where it was interior dialog? There's a bit of bitter foreshadowing when Rosemary says that Ferdi cannot see well following the blow of the ruffian's club. Another injury that will never quite heal, although there will be a respite of years before another ruffian's blow repeats the trauma and makes it permanent. It's saddening to read this at the same time as the chapter you just posted in Truth, where Ferdi lets down the clever facade for a moment with Nell, and we see the pain his blindness causes him.

Hai · 11 October 2003 · Chapter 23: ...and Lost, Again

Well they found 'Twig' I bet the boys she was staying with were surprised! poor Freddy! Don't let him stay too long in his nightmares! How terrible! One of your characters, newly created, that I wouldn't mind hearing more about is Robin. I liked him in the Rebel the way you described him and all. Looking forward to lots more, thank you!

FantasyFan · 10 October 2003 · Chapter 22: Lost and Found

Oh! I like the beginning, just like the opening of 'The Hobbit!' Plus, it sets a mood that's a little ooozy and sinister. And it gets a bit scary when the ruffians are right outside the hole. I felt sorry for the goat, though. Good thing Mum was able to hold on to the dog, or there might have been Nip stew on the ruffian's menu as well. But Pip and Mer and Rudi didn't leave too quickly after all for the family to be found. I'm glad that Hardy's Da got to reunite with his loved ones without too much time in agonized fearful speculation about their fate (I feel strange calling them Mum and Da without ever knowing their names). And Rudi finds Stell at last. The reaction of the boys when they find that Twig is a young lady is predicable disgust, but I hope some of their parents' admiration is real and not just for the benefit of the gentry present. I'm a little worried about Merry, who's not looking good. Any conversation between him and Stell on the way back to the Smials but must not be too memorable as I remember when next introduced to Stella he's quite amazed at how prettily she's grown up. That disguise must be pretty effective. I hope Merry and party make it back to the Smials OK. They've got half the archers as escort, but their Captain's not good for much and there are women and children to protect. You wouldn't let anyone go after them, would you? Freddy needs his sister.

FantasyFan · 10 October 2003 · Chapter 23: ...and Lost, Again

I am sick with what has been done to Freddy. He was making progress, but now he's back to where he was. Everyone's trying to help, but mostly they're making it worse. At least this time they have a small advantage. Frodo understands that it's Saruman's poison keeping Freddy locked in delusions, and he knows the great danger in 'going home.' He's promised to stay by Freddy's side, and keep whispering in his ear, until all is well; but I really fear for Freddy should something call him away and force him to break that promise. The healers and his parents have heard what the problem is, but it is clear they can't actually get their minds around what Freddy's going through. I get frustrated at their inability to understand, but how can they fathom something so alien and horrible? It would be better if they would just stop trying to be comforting, shut up and let Frodo work! But, I'm pinning real hopes on Estella coming home, on her bright and fiery spirit, to pull Freddy back. I thought the ending was very poignant: 'You’ve a real treasure, there, in that cousin of yours.’ ’Don’t I know it,’ Odo said, but of course he didn’t know the half of it.

Hai · 10 October 2003 · Chapter 21: Sticks and Stones

Poor, Freddy, they unwittingly send him back into nightmares of when he was in the lockholes. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't had the sleeping draught. I hope the others are able to find Estella! Maybe if they can return her Freddy will have an easier time recovering knowing his sister is safe, even though he never knew she was missing. Looking forward to more, thank you!

FantasyFan · 10 October 2003 · Chapter 21: Sticks and Stones

Such a heartwrenching scene. Freddy is quite brave, not that he has a lot of choice about having his hand reset. He reminds me of Merry and Pippin in the houses of healing, when Merry says to Strider that it is the way of his people to make light of serious matters, and Pippin calls him an ass. Frodo cuts through all the talking in circles and tells Freddy straight out what is to come. He's the only one in the room who understands Freddy's confusion. Even though he's getting mentally stronger, the first bad news he thinks of is that he's being sent home to die. I wonder if he'll ever really be comfortable in his old home again. Of course, Frodo's the only one in the room who's had to face the same type of recovery. Not even Sam, who was physically exhausted by the quest but not touched by evil in the same way. The sleeping draught doesn't seem to have done much for Freddy. Some pain medications have confusion as a side-effect, and that's one thing Freddy certainly didn't need more of. It's a lovely picture to imagine Frodo curled up around his cousin, trying to whisper strength into his ear and bring him back to reality. I'm suspecting reliving the question session could be a setback to Freddy mentally, as much as resetting his fingers will weaken him physically.

FantasyFan · 9 October 2003 · Chapter 20: Seeking a Stray Lamb

Another piece of good has come from the troubles. Facing the prospect of losing his son, Ferdinand has been persuaded to recognize Rosemary and thus gains back his daughter. God writes straight with crooked lines. So Merry is instrumental in helping find Twig (and Pippin's reaction is about what I expected). But, you have not made it simple after all. I wonder if the farm Mum had the thought that the boy's diggings would make a good escape hole if need came? Not much is coincidence in Tolkien's world. I'm going to hope that all have escaped the ruffians, and the bloody bits of creatures strewn around the farmyard are nothing more than some unfortunate chickens. If everyone stays quiet and safe, hiding in the hole, it's likely Merry, Pippin and Rudi will come and go without ever knowing that Estella and the rest are just over the next hill, and the reunion will be put off for a while longer. The anxiety is certainly heightened for family and friends by the evidence of her drawing that Stell was present at the farmhouse that very day. Certainly this experience will convince Stell that it's not safe enough to try to come home yet. The searchers are one step behind at every turn. But the farmer's famly will have to go somewhere, and they will have to leave word with someone, so that Da can find them when he finishes "ruffian duty," or perhaps he knows where they are likely to end up - isn't he fighting with Pippin's troop? He'll have to be told about the destruction of his hole, but the trail to Estella is not cold yet.

FantasyFan · 9 October 2003 · Chapter 19: Hide and Seek

Even though Freddy's not entirely healed, he is getting his wits back about him. Frodo's got more sense than the healer. He knows Freddy isn't stupid, and he knows that Freddy imagining the worst is far more dangerous to his eventual recovery than hearing an unpleasant truth. I wish modern-day healers would take the lesson. It seems the adventure of living life as "Twig" is wearing thin for Stell. I assume that smilar to Farry in the other story, Stell has learned some new skills and gotten to see another way of life. Besides being thought of as a boy, I would guess Twig is also thought of as younger than Estella really is, so I can understand her wishing for her family and some of her old pleasures, but things are different. Perhaps once she is rescued, she also will find a little difficulty molding herself into a new place in the renewed Shire. I have observed that once a person has new experiences, or a new point of view, there often follows a period of dissonance where even old familiar places and people seem strange. When you are no longer the same, it seems odd and off-putting that other things have stayed in their old places. Estella will be going through that when she returns to her family, Frodo is preparing Freddy to deal with it, and Pippin is struggling right now with not fitting into his old slot. Really, nearly everyone in the Shire will have to remake themselves and their place in light of memories and losses and changes that will hover just below the surface of concious memory. Some of it will be very good: for example, it will be easier to ignore or remake customs like class differences, and old petty feuds should pale in comparison to recent troubles. Merry sees it as his responsibility to make sure that the new order is as carefree and innocent as the old. I think Frodo is just a little less interested in preserving the Shire unchanged - remember once he said that an invasion of dragons might be a good thing for the inhabitants of the Shire. Well, he's gotten his dragons in a two-legged form. And, he's the one who's had his reality bent the furthest out of shape. I wonder if he can comfortably allow the Shire's hobbits to sink back into ignorance.

Hai · 9 October 2003 · Chapter 19: Hide and Seek

Oh, no! How would the group missed so many? And in Took's area too? Wouldn't want "Twig" to be hurt and no one know who she really is now would we? Looking forward to finding out what happens! Thank you!