Letters and an Unexpected Trip

Dearest Faramir,

Thank you for replying- i thought something had happened to you. I am glad that the King has helped you recover. Please do not think too much and overwork yourself. I know I said that before you left, but you really need to heed that advice.

My nightmares are not as bad as before but it would be better if you’re here with me.  You provide me with so much comfort and there is no one like you. I do not think the Black Breath has any influence on me- are you inflicted at all? Please be truthful to me.

I love you so much and hope to see you soon again and hold you too. I am lonely without you and wish to be with you as soon as I can. Please know you are not alone. Please know that I constantly think about you every waking moment. I cannot wait for you to come to Rohan. Let me dream about you so we can be together in dreams. Don’t worry, my Lord, we will be alright together. Let us conquer the Shadow together.

Yours always,

Éowyn

Eowyn wrote back to Faramir and sent it immediately again. But when Eowyn read Faramir’s letter a week later, she was happy that Faramir was keeping busy outside work, happy Faramir wanted a plan for the wedding, but also still worried Faramir wasn’t telling everything to her. She started a letter to Merry instead to ask about the Steward’s health and if he had nightmares pertaining to the Black Breath- why else would he have mentioned it in the previous letter? She would write to Faramir again, but she needed to know the truth.

Dear Merry,

Hope everything is well for you and the hobbits and the entire Fellowship.

I am well. Funeral planning is quite overwhelming for me but I am assisting as much as I can. There is also the preparation for the crowning of Eomer. We have been busy with many state affairs.

I am still worried for Faramir. How is he, truly? I am guessing he is not completely truthful to me. Is he all right? His letters are coming finally but does not speak about his health and well-being. Is there anything that is left unsaid? Please let me know. I would really appreciate it. We need to keep him safe from the Shadow. Before I left, he said he was fine but I feel like I know better. There is something amiss. Please keep me honestly in the loop of how my betrothed is. Thank you.

Sincerely yours,

Lady Éowyn

When Merry received the letter, he showed the letter to Pippin and asked, “So what should we write to her?”

“Most likely the truth,” replied Pippin. “You do not want our Lady to be angry at us if we are not truthful- Faramir not saying how he is is one thing, but us as our lady’s reporters have to be frank with her. She told us before she left we needed to keep an eye out on the Steward.”

“And we have been–we just need to try harder,” said Merry.

“Try harder at what,” Frodo asked as he and Sam stepped into the Merry's quarters. 

“How can we help Faramir better and I also just received a letter from Eowyn asking how Faramir is,” Merry showed Frodo and Sam the letter. “Doesn’t seem like she trusts the upbeat letters he’s been sending.”

“We can just say Faramir does have the Black Breath, grieving, but he is recovering,” said Frodo. “The King has it under control.”

“Is he recovering?” asked Sam. “Aragorn is still watching the Steward like a hawk the past week and a half and he is not allowed to work. And we’ve run out of athelas.”

“We have restocked when Ioreth’s errand lad rode forth for it,” reminded Pippin. “Athelas is too valuable to be without.”

“Aragorn is being cautious more than anything- we never know when the Black Breath will return. Grieving is a process that is different for everyone,” remarked Frodo.

“It’s been several days since the last Black Breath dream from what I know,” said Merry. “Since then, we have all accompanied Faramir in some way and he seems more light-hearted.  The wedding is fast approaching and Aragorn is busy. For the letter, we should tell Lady Eowyn, Faramir is getting better but also has the Black Breath?”

“The ol’ Gaffer always said the truth doesn’t hurt and it’s the untruth that can be damaging,” said Sam. “Also, by the time letters reach Rohan, would it not be a week later?  Do the Big Folk have posts like we do in the Shire?  Things are not as fast as Shire post, it seems. They rely on emissaries and messengers to ride that direction and the fastest is a week.”  

“That is true- letters are a bit outdated once the other person receives it,” Merry agreed with Sam.

“They rely on errand riders who may go back and forth between the countries but it is not always. The distance between Rohan and Gondor is far. Also, the truth is always good,” said Frodo. He was also battling his own guilt about the Ring but he did not want to speak about it either but that didn’t mean he was being untruthful.

 Ever since the Cormallen, he could not shake his own guilt and shame about what happened in the last moments of Mount Doom. Sam was the only one who guessed at what he was thinking but did not probe him to speak. Frodo had his own demons to vanquish, and he wished soon to return to see Bilbo then back to the Shire. The days were inching towards Mid-Summer’s Day as Aragorn said they needed to wait for so he was eager to leave MInas Tirith.

…

Eowyn received Merry’s letter a week later, read it quickly twice and tears formed in her eyes. She knew something was amiss, and she should’ve guessed Faramir was suffering from the Black Breath. Lately, she had also been having more nightmares, waking twice during the night. However, she knew she did not have it as bad as Faramir. Her losses had closure unlike Faramir’s. Losing a brother and father so close to each other and in such tragic ways was hard to accept without proper burial was a huge burden. 

She was worried before departing Gondor.  She saw all the signs- -the drinking, the tears, the talking in his sleep. She wondered how much longer till the King’s Company would come. She needed Faramir by her side to make sure he was alright.  She hoped he would open up to her.

In the meantime, she had to further prepare the elaborate funeral for King Theoden. She closed her eyes and prayed to the Valar that Faramir was in good hands and would come happy and whole.  She wrote letters back to Merry and Faramir.

Dear Faramir,

You need not hide from me regarding the Black Breath. You can tell me how I can help you. Please remember that you told me that no darkness would endure. Please believe so. You came into my life so unexpectedly but I know your role so clearly now. Stand by me always and I will do the same. We need to defeat the darkness together. I know we can and we will. You have so much unspoken strength. That is what I love about you. We came together when the road was broken. Now we see the path of healing and may we not continue upon that together?

Please think about the good. There is peace in this world now and though the road was hard to get here, we will do better and happier together. I needed you to pull me from the brink and you do the same for me.

You kept me grounded at the Houses of Healing when it was so dark. I dream of being with you almost daily. Let us reunite and speak promises to last a lifetime.

I would love to hold and love you forever.  Please come to me soon and we will plan the wedding and our life together.

Love,

Your Eowyn

Then she wrote to Merry:

Dear Merry,

Thank you for telling me the truth. I hope that Faramir is better by now. What has the King done to help? Is there more that needs to be done to heal him? 

I know he is grieving, and I just hope you also tell him there is just more good in life to cherish and to be grateful for. It is hard but we need to keep hoping. I wish I was with you all. Please let me know if anything gets worse. I promise I will not worry too much.

Hope the other hobbits are doing well.  Sorry for the short letter. I will keep you informed.

Yours,

Lady Eowyn

…

A week later, Merry read the letter from Eowyn and shared it with the other hobbits. He kept his letters brief but to the point and made it truthful for the most part.  It had been two weeks since the first letter. Faramir had been better but withdrawn at times. However, at Faramir’s constant insistence and stubbornness, Aragorn had let him back to work half day but with a close eye at all times and checked him twice daily.There were some days when Faramir was energetic and talked to them but some other times, he did not and withdrew with a more reserved demeanor -either be too busy or too tired. 

Faramir was glad to go back to work to keep occupied. The week of recovery restricted him and made him feel too idle. He promised Aragorn that he would let him know if he was overwrought or stressed and told him he would talk about any alarming dreams daily. His sleep improved a little, but others told him he still had dreams. He could not help it, he would say and he said that going back to his duties would not affect his health. He was still tired but not “dark nightmares” tired like he was before Aragorn’s daily ministrations.  He had tried to be more mindful of possible triggers as Aragorn had told him about. Aragorn also required the sleeping draughts and the teas that helped with anxiety and headaches and reminded the Steward to keep taking them if he felt ill. 

Aragorn also made a point to make sure he helped Faramir with his anxiety daily. Faramir was grateful for the daily Elvish massage to his temples which did help in better sleep. The daily sleeping draught was mandatory to take too and Faramir rested better with that tea which Aragorn prepared specifically for him. Faramir started to appreciate Aragorn even more than as only the King but also healer and friend.

Faramir made time to continue his visits to the soldiers especially Belegion, made plans for constructing his home in Ithilien and also repopulation plans for Ithilien. He made sure to take naps when he felt tired and tried to think better thoughts when pangs of sorrow threatened to take over. 

He read Eowyn’s latest letter and was displeased that she had to worry but glad that she cared so much. He became more honest in his letters back to her and therefore that added another layer of trust to their relationship.

Dear Eowyn,

I am sorry I did not mention the Black Breath but I did not want to worry you unnecessarily. I am truly on the mend from it. You need not worry. My dreams are less frequent and surely everyone here is helping me from the King to my uncle to the hobbits. They are sure to help me out of it. I do believe there is more good than bad in this world and I would never think otherwise. I want to be there for you and you keep me hopeful. Thank you for your kind letter of care and consideration. I wish to be with you now.

I have returned to work therefore please do not think i have been telling untruths. I would never want to deceive you. I love you too much to do that. 

I have started planning our home in Ithilien. I hope that you come back soon so you can tell me what you desire from our home. I would love you to be happy to dwell in Gondor. I cannot wait to start my new life with you.

I hope that your health is well too. Please stay positive for me and know that I love you so very much.

Love,

Faramir

…

Faramir remembered the trip to Amon Hen and Parth Galen the hobbits and Aragorn spoke about several days ago and made ready for the trip, making the necessary delegations for the work in Minas Tirith. He then approached Aragorn about when they could go.

“Are you feeling alright? How have you been sleeping lately?” Aragorn asked as he glanced at Faramir. Faramir did look better, not looking as fatigued. Aragorn looked at Faramir’s eyes which were clear, his shoulder was almost back to normal functioning.

“Yes, everything has been fairly normal,” replied Faramir. “I am well enough. I have not had any dark dreams in my recollection.  May we leave tomorrow?   This trip may help in bidding my brother a better farewell.”

“If you are indeed faring better, we will make preparations for tomorrow.” 

“Thank you, my King.”

As a result, not only Merry, Pippin, and the King went, but as did Legolas and Gimli. Gandalf stayed in Minas Tirith with Frodo and Sam, and Imrahil would be in charge for the days they departed from the city. Faramir was grateful that they would come on short notice and was greatly anticipating this trip. He could finally know where his brother had fallen and he hoped to make a memorial for him there. He felt tears in his eyes but he tried to push negative thoughts away as he rode forth.  What would he do when he saw his brother’s last resting place? Would it give him the peace he sought? He did hope to be at peace with at least his brother.

The trip took three long days. Faramir felt some anxiety return once they crossed the river into western border of Wetwang, being careful not to go into the swamp in which it was hard to navigate. He was so close to where his brother fell. Finally, he could properly say good-bye. The Fellowship made camp to rest each night and Faramir was quick to fall asleep since the ride had tired him.

Legolas and Gimli rode forth together while Faramir rode with Pippin and Merry with Aragorn so that they could speed up the journey and not leave the hobbits behind with the longer strides of horses. They did not take the western path since the rivers of the Entwash were harder to cross. They would take the Eastern way to Parth Galen and its neighboring areas.

They carefully climbed the rocky stairs that led to the side with Amon Hen. Then they walked down to the other side to where Aragorn had found Boromir. Aragorn remembered racing the slope and he was too late to aid Boromir. He closed his eyes and felt sorrowful. The little glade that Boromir passed was still there. 

He was sitting with his back to a great tree, as if he was resting. He was pierced with many black-feathered arrows; his sword was still in his hand, but it was broken near the hilt; his horn cloven in two was at his side. Many Orcs lay slain, piled all about him and at his feet.”***

Aragorn remembered like it was yesterday, and he felt tears in his eyes and he started to weep. Why was he too late to aid Boromir? He remembered keenly all the arrows that had pierced the strong tall man and how he had to draw the arrows out. He had wished he had come sooner!

Faramir was beside him and laid a hand on Aragorn’s shoulder.  “So this is where he fell?” 

Faramir looked around the forest and saw remnants of the recent battle. How close was Boromir to his land’s borders!

“Yes, and alas we were too late to aid him,” said Legolas. The elf was struggling to find words to express himself, but he had a far away look as if the sorrow he felt had returned and he did not know what to do with it.

“We were on the other side, where the orcs were plentiful as well,” Gimil recalled. “What a fateful, tragic day where the Fellowship was broken.”

“Merry and I tried hard to help but the orcs were too many,” Pippin said with tears in his eyes. “I got knocked out, and I do not remember anything till …till too late.”

Merry put his arm on Pippin’s shoulder, “Boromir was so brave to defend us, and we are forever indebted to him.”

“We sang three songs as we made a cairn to honor him since we were short on time, and we were keen to catch up on the captured hobbits,” said Aragorn as he recovered and was adamant to share the story with Faramir. 

“Where do you want to make a memorial, laddie,” asked Gimli to Faramir. Gimli had brought a small memorial stone and was going to customize a tomb for Boromir. Faramir was gladdened by his thought and was appreciative of this gesture.

“I am not sure yet; i may want to take a walk on more of the area to …to decide,” Faramir had come to Parth Galen after three days but was unsure what he wanted. He wanted to find a proper burial site and speak his last words to Boromir by himself. 

He walked off from the Fellowship deep in thought of all the good memories he cherished of Boromir.  He went meandering into Amon Hen and decided to climb up for a good view of the area. Memories flooded him of his dearest brother.  He taught him to sword fight, fence, play tricks, handle father, the best games… there would be no one like him that can fill the void. Boromir died honorably, defending the hobbits, but alas for him to pass so soon. Who would he share his big moments in life with without his best friend by his side?

Faramir found that he was not alone, walking up to Amon Hen to think by himself. He felt a small presence looking up at him.

“There may still be orcs around, so no one should be alone,” said Merry.

“I’m just …recollecting,” sighed Faramir.

“Let us recollect together all the memories that we had in our short Quest with Boromir. As Pippin had said, we are very fond of Boromir as well and miss him.”

“Yes, this is not a happy place, but there are peaceful elements of it. Do you want to let us know where you want Boromir’s memorial to be? I think Legolas wants to sing his song for Boromir. But when you’re ready.”

"We should have a meal first and rest since we will stay another day. We shall not be rushed on this trip.”

“Yes, I do not believe Strider is in a rush or he would not have come,” replied Merry. “Take the time we all need.”

“Yes, I appreciate all of you for this.”

Faramir inadvertently felt tears in his eyes. He felt touched by the Fellowship’s trip with him and all the bottled up emotions were still in his heart. He saw it was not easy for the Fellowship to come back here. Knowing where his brother had passed and how heroic he was helped him accept the fate that he was doing it for the success of the Quest. How the hobbits, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli looked as they came closer to this place, he knew it was not easy to return to. He sighed and he knew what he wanted to put in the memorial for his brother here. 

Legolas sang the song that he sang with Aragorn and Gimli when they prepared the cairn for Boromir.

“From the mouths of the Sea the South Wind flies, from the sandhills and the stones:

The walking of the gulls it bears, and at the gate it moans.

‘What news from the South, O sighing wind, do you bring to me at eve?

Where now is Boromir the Fair? He tarries and I grieve’

‘Ask not of me where he doth dwell- so many bones there lie

On the white shores and the dark shores under the stormy sky;

So many have passed down Anduin to find the flowing Sea.

Ask of the North Wind news of them the North Wind sends to me!”

‘O Boromir! Beyond the gate the seward road runs south,

But you came not with the wailing gulls form the grey sea’s mouth.”****

All of the Fellowship and Faramir bent their heads in a moment of silence. 

“I sang my part in the ceremony for the dead several weeks ago, so I will just say what I’ve always felt. Boromir was an indispensable, honorable, valiant part of our Fellowship and he fought bravely and with honor. He was strong in life; he will pass into the Halls of Mandos with their arms ready to accept such a brave and sacrificing man and he will rest in peace,” said Aragorn.

“He did well for all of us,” added Gimli.  “I admire his bravery, passion, and heroism. I miss him dearly. We wish him peace.  What do you want to put on the stone, Steward?”

Before he could answer, drops of relentless rain started to fall and Faramir could almost feel Boromir next to him. The wind picked up too and the Fellowship sought shelter in the tents that they brought, but Faramir stayed outside because he felt like it was a sign. Faramir never believed in ghosts but he felt somewhat comforted that the rain was a sign from his dead brother.

Do not grieve, you have long years to live. Be well and live on in good memory instead of sorrow.

The wind seemed to pick up and then the rain lightened as well as the rainclouds.

“That was a sudden rain,” said Aragorn.  “Are you alright, Steward?” he glanced in concern over to the Steward who seemed to be deep in thought and not mindful of those around him.

“Yes, I am well. I thought I heard Boromir and …and it was a good indication.”

“That is good,” said Pippin. “Perhaps he wanted to tell you something since he loved you so much.”

“He did mention you on our Quest,” added Merry. “He always mentioned his younger brother with love and respect.”

Faramir felt tears in his eyes.  “I am glad for that. Thank you for bringing me here.”

Faramir finally decided what the tomb would write and it would be on Parth Galen, facing the river that was Boromir’s last resting place. Gimli took some time to write and they were glad of the result.

Here lies most beloved brother, loyal son, valiant warrior, devoted Gondorian, member of the Fellowship and dearest friend

Boromir the Tall and Brave

We will never forget you and honor your memory forever.  

TBC