Dang! You're right, Boromir and Denethor do look like each other.
I still think Denethor bears the brunt of responsibility over the estrangement from Faramir. I can't hear the tone of his voice in the story, but Faramir says it sounds like he's discussing the weather. If my father told me that he should have revealed my mother's suicide long ago, and the suicide happened when I was a child and I witnessed it, and my father were speaking so coolly about the event, I'd be hopping mad too.
I assume you mean, by the Big Blowup, the confrontation between father and son in THE SIEGE OF GONDOR. While it's true that Faramir let fly a stinging verbal dart of his own at his father, he did not do so until Denethor has castigated him for several paragraphs and then says he wishes Faramir and Boromir's places had been exchanged. Tolkien says "For a moment Faramir's restraint gave way"; and then Faramir delivers the line asking Denethor to remember that the Lord of the City gave the errand to Boromir. It sounds like Faramir had been controlling himself, keeping his anger and sorrow under wraps, and couldn't take it anymore; and that's when he gave that rather stinging retort, he had taken all he could from his father. Don't forget that Faramir had spent days in battle and retreat, come directly under the Black Breath of the Nazgul, watched many comrades die as he tried to hold the rest together, and then gets called on the carpet by his father.
And if I were a parent, even if I had quarreled with my son, if he had come back from a dangerous military operation where he lost comrades and almost his own life, was exhausted, and I was sending him out to risk his life the next day, I would manage to put aside my own worries enough to show a little more kindness and concern, or at least convey the idea that I valued his life.
My biggest beef with Denethor in ROTK, well, other than his deserting his duty (which can be excused by madness)and trying to burn his son alive (Faramir is going to need sooooo much therapy!), is that during their brief conversation, he sounds like he's more Faramir's boss or older brother; he does not sound like a father.
And do keep posting. You are one of the best writers at this site or any others; and I want more Faramir stories from you after you finish this one.
Author's reply
Agreed and agreed and agreed. But there are a lot of nuances in that conversation. My point is, that as awful as things were for Faramir, Dad was having a time of it just as horrible. It doesn't excuse his actions, it might serve to explain them.
The suicide is my own construct, but doesn't violate canon and seems reasonable from the way JRRT couches his explanations of how Finduilas died. Father/Son relationships can be complex, the instinct is to protect. I think Denethor meant to protect his sons, but circumstances overran him. So Dad is in Free Fall also. They all are.
How did Denethor speak to Faramir? He was his liege as well as his Father. I don't think it was Denethor's intent his sons be hurt. In that same appendix it mentions that Denethor took his wife's death with difficulty also.
Why is Denethor so cool in his speech with Faramir? Because he's Steward and leaders don't have the luxury to cry in public. Maybe Denethor thought it likewise applied to his son. Maybe it spoke so coolly because the only way he could approach the subject was by distancing himself from it. But Denethor shows his emotion in the act of clenching his fist. He's controlled. So is Faramir. The two dance about each other as great lumbering bears, as Boromir says.
I've got billions of Faramir stories. Just click on my name, send me emails about which interest you. thanks for the compliments. I eat 'em up and they don't have calories. You've made my night! Lindorien