A Series Of Culinary Disasters by Jay of Lasgalen

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Lindelea · 3 February 2014 · Chapter 4: Mulled Wine

I'm getting the impression that hobbit cookery can be dangerous. Perhaps it needs to come with a warning label?

Lindelea · 3 February 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

(and don't forget the oatmeal! It does have oats in it, if I remember right? ...not that I ever had the courage to try any, but I've heard about it from someone who has)

Lindelea · 3 February 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

LOL! What is a haggis, indeed!

Fiondil · 26 January 2014 · Chapter 4: Mulled Wine

Blow on it first, Elrohir. Didn't your nana teach you anything about hot drinks. LOL!

Fiondil · 26 January 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

Yeah, definitely taste it first, Elrohir. LOL! I remember my mom going to a party and having some hors d'oeuvres and really enjoying them even though she didn't know what they were. Then she made the mistake of asking my dad and when he told her it was squid, she never ate another one after that. Best not to know sometimes. You obviously must hate Elrohir, Jay. I can't think of any other reason why you torment the poor ellon. *grin*

Author's reply

Poor Elrohir. He's my favourite character, but you'd never think it! I think it's sometimes best not to ask too many questions ...

Larner · 25 January 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

In my one foray into Haggis I didn't find it particularly good at all, and much the same for blood pudding. Now, of all things, alligator is very good, if you have someone who's a Cajun prepare it properly for you. Same with tongue--it takes a Cajun to both season and cook it right!

Author's reply

After moaning that I had missed alerts for several reviews, I got eight for this one! There are times I hate the internet :( I've never had alligator (not many in the UK ...) but I love Cajun cooking!

ainisaire · 25 January 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

I told myself I would try haggis when I was in Scotland a few years ago, and so I did. I did not expect to like it, but it really wasn't that bad. I am not a fan of turnips so I left the neeps, but the tatties were good too. Maybe it helped that I had a Scottish Coffee first.

Author's reply

Haggis is very nice - it's just the thought of the ingredients! Mr Jay always has whisky with it, but I stick to wine ...

Antane · 25 January 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

Decades ago now and I still remember it, my family and I were tourists in Britain and went to a special dinner (maybe it was a Burns Night) and my dad was given the honor of stabbing the haggis. Some hae meat and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it; But we hae meat, and we can eat, Sae let the Lord be thankit. My sister and I said that today. Namarie, God bless, Antane :)

Author's reply

It sounds like it was Burns Night (or else something provided just for tourists!) We had haggis for supper tonight, having missed out on Burns Night itself :)

elliska · 25 January 2014 · Chapter 4: Mulled Wine

Hehehe! Poor elf. That's happened to all of us. Mulled wine sounds like a good idea right now, even if it is only 1pm. If it's as cold there as it is here, I see why you though of this one. :-)

Author's reply

Poor Elrohir! All Bilbo's best intentions go wrong. I love mulled wine. There's nothing better than a glass on a cold winter's day!

elliska · 25 January 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

ROTFL!!! This one asked to be done for this series and too right in the implied reaction! Awesome!

Author's reply

LOL! I like haggis, but don't look too closely at the ingredients ...

Ellie · 25 January 2014 · Chapter 4: Mulled Wine

Ouch! too hot always spoils the taste. Poor frozen warrior! You are so mean to him. I miss your stories. I hope you lots more to post.

Author's reply

Poor Elrohir! An early draft had him share a wink with Elladan and then assure Bilbo that he was quite right, and it was better to be safe than sorry - but as the challenges evolved into a series of unfortunate events, I had to re-write :) I miss writing. Sadly, the muse has taken a long vacation ...

Ellie · 25 January 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

How funny! I've had haggis before at a Burns Night. It did not taste as I had expected it to, I must admit, and it was canned haggis to boot. um...yeah. Poor Elrohir! Bilbo was wise to have him taste it first and then find out what was in it.

Author's reply

I'm not sure Bilbo was wise to tell Elrohir what was in it - better to let him think it's a little creature running around the moorlands of the Shire!

Sunny · 25 January 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

Tee-hee-hee. I suspect that by now Elrohir gets an anxiety attack if he sees Bilbo heading for the kitchens. :) And where some food is concerned, you definitely don't need to know the ingredients or how it's prepared. And apropos of this chapter: http://haggishunt.scotsman.com/

Author's reply

'where some food is concerned, you definitely don't need to know the ingredients or how it's prepared.' Elrohir would certainly agree with you - but now I have a image of him and Elladan hunting the fabled golden haggis ...

6336 · 25 January 2014 · Chapter 5: Haggis

You are supposed to wait until the next day before asking what is in Haggis to prevent just the reaction Elrohir had! Lynda

Author's reply

That sounds sensible - Bilbo should know better!

Larner · 24 January 2014 · Chapter 4: Mulled Wine

Alas, the warning came too late, obviously. Although as long as the twins had lived they ought to have learned steaming drinks may well be hot enough to scald!

Author's reply

That's true, of course! The first draft had them drinking the wine on the grounds of 'better safe than sorry' (the original title), but as the series evolved I changed it to reflect yet another inadvertent disaster.

Larner · 24 January 2014 · Chapter 3: Misunderstanding

Well, it OUGHT to have been good! And your observation is too likely to be true! Heh!

Author's reply

Bilbo's writing is notoriously spidery, so it seemed like an honest mistake to make - but anyone else would question the use of chilli!

Larner · 24 January 2014 · Chapter 2: Yule Pudding

Or, in this case, the not-so-lucky sixpence! Poor thing!

Author's reply

I know they probably don't have sixpences in Middle Earth, but I knew people would understand :>)

Larner · 24 January 2014 · Chapter 1: Jam Making

I rather suspect that he has indeed managed just that! Heh!

Author's reply

Poor Elrohir - this is just the start of things!

BeeGee · 4 April 2013 · Chapter 3: Misunderstanding

ROTFL! I'm wiping tears out of my eyes as I read these; poor Elrohir indeed! I think he should go out orc-hunting, it seems to be less dangerous. :D

Author's reply

I seem to have missed a lot of review alerts - I'm sorry for the delay in replying. Elrohir says orcs are preferable to Lindir's attempts at Bilbo's recipes!

Fiondil · 3 April 2013 · Chapter 3: Misunderstanding

ROTFL!! Oh you really have it in for poor Elrohir, Jay. Don't you think it's about time Elladan suffered from one of these recipe bloopers? More please.

Author's reply

I seem to have missed a lot of review alerts - I'm sorry for the delay in replying! Poor Elrohir - but no, I'm afraid he's the victim. Elladan is an amused spectator :)

Fiondil · 3 April 2013 · Chapter 2: Yule Pudding

Good thing I wasn't drinking anything as I read this, Jay. Having just had a root canal, I can sympathize with Elrohir but Bilbo's words were priceless.

Author's reply

And another review I never got! Poor you on the root canal - hope it's better now!

Fiondil · 3 April 2013 · Chapter 1: Jam Making

Oops! Elrohir, didn't anyone tell you to stay out of the kitchen? Far too dangerous a place for a mere warrior. LOL!

Author's reply

Elrohir is finding out just how dangerous it can be ...

Lindelea · 1 April 2013 · Chapter 3: Misunderstanding

*snork* Reminds me of the mistakes we've had with mistaking baking soda for baking powder.

Author's reply

I seem to have missed a lot of review alerts - I'm sorry for the delay in replying. It pays to read a recipe VERY carefully!

ellie · 31 March 2013 · Chapter 3: Misunderstanding

Nasty! gross!

Author's reply

I seem to have missed a lot of review alerts - I'm sorry for the delay in replying. Elrohir would certainly agree with you ...

elliska · 31 March 2013 · Chapter 3: Misunderstanding

ROTFL!! That totally cracked me up!

Author's reply

Thank you! I admit it was fun to write, and I may have got a few funny looks for sniggering to myself when I thought of the chill/chilli mix up :>)