demeter d
· 25 January 2013
· Chapter 4: The Hunter and the Hunted
I am very often glad that this site allows more than one review for each chapter. I OFTEN find myself writing something I want to correct later. I had indeed forgotten that Thorin had been captured first. Now, I ought to dig out my copy and read it again!
Author's reply
demeter d:
No worries at all! I am sorry for the shamefully late reply, but somehow I passed my eyes over this too quickly. There are so many details in Tolkien that it is quite easy to forget this or that. I am so pleased that I've inspired you to reread the original! : )
Agape4Gondor
· 18 January 2013
· Chapter 5: Caught in the Tide
Oh my goodness. It's a good thing Legolas is around, but it must have been most difficult to watch his brothers quarrel. What a sad state of affairs for the Elves. I'm hoping they can find some survivors.
demeter d
· 10 January 2013
· Chapter 4: The Hunter and the Hunted
"twelve dwarves", huh. So, is one of the dwarves still lost in the forest, or hiding with Bilbo? I had thought that there were "thirteen" dwarves to begin with, which they considered to be unlucky. That was why they had wanted Gaqndalf to find another companion in the first place. Perhaps Legolas first thought he saw "fourteen"? That aside, I too like the way you have blended in the book dialog. I also enjoyed the way you identified the dwarves, as the elves would have, by the colors of their hoods and other details of dress. I will have to go back to the chapter in which dwarves and a Wizard descend on Bag End and spend the night with one very surprized Hobbit to see just who was who. The older one with white beard would be Balin, I would guess. I can see how they would defer to him almost as much as to Thorin.
Author's reply
Thank you for the review!
As for the number of dwarves...Legolas is actually correct in his initial count, because I'm spinning the idea that he "counted" Bilbo before the hobbit got a chance to put on the Ring. So Bilbo + 12 dwarves = unlucky thirteen. You're absolutely right. But let's not forget that Thorin was imprisoned before everybody else, so the wood-elves have one dwarf all snug and cosy in his little cell, and they've just found 12 more buddies for him. You're actually not the first reviewer to point this out...so I hope the count wasn't confusing in the story. Anyways, your memory served you well!
And thank you for catching the detail about the colored hoods. It actually took me a while to come up with a clever way of designating the dwarves without using their names, since the wood-elves wouldn't know (or care). And then it hit me, oh yeah, Tolkien gave us those details. Awesome!
Larner
· 10 January 2013
· Chapter 5: Caught in the Tide
There is much of grief here. At least Legolas's plan combined with that of Ivanneth has a chance of working.
Author's reply
Thanks for reviewing Larner.
Yep, things are going to get a little depressing... I'm glad Legolas's plan was plausible (given I myself know nothing of communicating between scouting groups in a forest). The result of the plan coming up soon!
Fiondil
· 9 January 2013
· Chapter 5: Caught in the Tide
From the ridiculous (the talk about soup) to the anguished. The... er... discussion between the two brothers was fraught with much tension. Legolas was right to rebuke them both. Looking forward to seeing how you go on with this. I just love 'behind the scenes' type stories.
Author's reply
Glad you are enjoying it so far, Fiondil! And thank you for reviewing.
The soup discussion was totally ridiculous, but I just couldn't help myself once I got started writing it. I feel like elves would have time for these sorts of conversations... More tension coming up soon!
Larner
· 27 December 2012
· Chapter 4: The Hunter and the Hunted
Love the direct dialogue from the books, and enjoy the discourse between father and son. Legolas has proved wise already, and is worthy of his father's affection and trust!
Author's reply
Thank you! It's always tough to work in Tolkien without the "copy and paste" effect, so I am glad to know the dialogue is working well together.
Larner
· 27 December 2012
· Chapter 3: Grave Matters
The thought of facing Sauron OUGHT to cause concern!
Author's reply
Just a little bit, right? ; )
Fiondil
· 24 December 2012
· Chapter 4: The Hunter and the Hunted
A very interesting chapter. The 'web of warriors' was a great image and I could clearly see it. Ah, *thirteen* dwarves? Not likely. *hee hee* Anyway, the throneroom scene was splendid and Thranduil was totally in frustrated king mode and I loved Legolas afterwards with his ada and their discussion. I really like the way you portray the dynamics within the royal family.
Just one minor language correction: tolo ar nin. _ar_ is the Quenya word for the conjunction 'and', though it appears to be a loanword used in the Sindarin spoken by the Noldor. The Sindarin word for 'with' is probably _ah_ (there's some debate about this among Tolkien language scholars) so 'tolo ah nin'. It could also be rendered as 'godolo nin' [come (together with) me].
Have a Merry Christmas and I eagerly look forward to the next chapter.
Author's reply
Thanks for reviewing Fiondil!
I sincerely appreciate the Sindarin correction. As you've probably surmised, that phrase was the result of searching through various online dictionaries without knowing exactly what I was doing... I will make the correction, and thanks again!
I'm always happy to hear that the dynamics of the royal family are working. I wanted to make everybody believable, without being ridiculously perfect or one-dimensional. More family time coming up!
Agape4Gondor
· 23 December 2012
· Chapter 4: The Hunter and the Hunted
I think Legolas' short-lived hurt at being left out is a true testament to our Elf's maturity. Look at the situation, decide what to do about it, and then move on. Well written.
I love the 'web of warriors.' What a great concept to fight spiders. Whoo hoo!
Ah - thirteen Dwarves says Legolas? His captain should have paid more attention. I love the Dwarves stomping feet, the breaking of tender shoots, the Elven song. All delightful.
Thranduil is great. I loved the throne room scene. And his time with Legolas, the apology and such, was touching.
My favorite was the entire last chapter. Beautifully written. Merry Christmas!
Author's reply
Thank you for your kind words, Agape4Gondor! This is also my favorite chapter so far, so I am glad you liked it as well. Also happy to hear that the character depth is coming across the way I wanted it to. More coming soon!
Agape4Gondor
· 23 December 2012
· Chapter 3: Grave Matters
Another delightful, though painful, chapter. I love reading behind the story. Nicely thought out. I'd forgotten about the Council. Hard time for Thranduil to be leaving. And i love giving Legolas a 'night off.'
As for language, I myself finally decided, after years of putting in little tidbits of Elvish, that the entire conversations of Elves and Men, Dwarves and Hobbits was written in English - so I stopped using the phrases. However, they do not detract from the story.
Merry Christmas.
Author's reply
Thanks for the review!
I like the way you phrased that--reading *behind* the story. Great mental image of exactly what I'm trying to do. Nicely put!
And thank you for actually reading the A/N about the use of Sindarin. You're right ultimately about all the conversations taking place in English...and eventually, I'll join you, but for now, I'm still having too much fun with the Sindarin. But glad to hear it isn't distracting.
Larner
· 19 December 2012
· Chapter 2: A Song Amidst Cobwebs
Ah, but the Hobbit spider-baiting song has them stymied! Heh!
Author's reply
I start chuckling every time I think about this particular situation. I bet Bilbo would have gotten a real kick out of this if he'd known the confusion he was creating beyond the spiders!
Agape4Gondor
· 18 December 2012
· Chapter 2: A Song Amidst Cobwebs
Oh yes. Another great and imaginative chapter.
Author's reply
Thank you!
Agape4Gondor
· 18 December 2012
· Chapter 1: Decisions
This was fun. It made sense that eldlings caused the ruckus in the firest. I liked Thranduil.
Author's reply
Thanks for reviewing!
Yeah...I really couldn't imagine Thranduil *actually* having a feast in the forest, and then disappearing three times... Glad to hear you agree with my interpretation!
Larner
· 17 December 2012
· Chapter 1: Decisions
I've been trying to read this, but so far fate has managed to defeat me. At least tonight I've been able to finish the first chapter without this blasted computer dying on me as it's been doing since it was loaned to me after my own laptop's mother board went bad on me.
I love this peek inside Thranduil's head at such a troubling and important time. Now--to see what they think of how the other Dwarves manage to be found escaped from the spiders, and how they react to their invisible burglar guest!
Author's reply
Thank you Larner!
Computer problems are always impossible... Anyways, I couldn't resist thinking about Thranduil while I was rereading The Hobbit recently. And this story is the result!
ellie
· 12 December 2012
· Chapter 1: Decisions
fascinating view point all around. This story was recommended to me and I'm glad I had the time to begin the indilgence.
Author's reply
Thanks ellie! Glad to hear word is spreading and happy to have you onboard!
Fiondil
· 12 December 2012
· Chapter 3: Grave Matters
An interesting glimpse into the dynamics of Thranduil's family, especially the three sons. Poor Legolas. No matter how old he is, he'll always be the 'baby' of the family. *grin* I am still enjoying this and look forward to seeing where it goes.
Author's reply
Thanks for sticking with the story, Fiondil!
Glad to hear the half-canon half-OC family is working for you. I admit I underestimated the challenge they would be to write, but I am pleased with the results so far. Let's see where the story goes indeed!
eiluj
· 11 December 2012
· Chapter 3: Grave Matters
Hmmm. Will events keep Thranduil on hand so that he misses the White Council, or will he make a quick trip to Orthanc and back, then fight in two battles?
Author's reply
*dunh dunh dunh* Suspense is building! I will be answering those questions soon (I hope!)
eiluj
· 11 December 2012
· Chapter 2: A Song Amidst Cobwebs
Bilbo makes his (non) appearance and for not the first time, baffles everyone.
Since you did not give us his version of his doings, I was forced to re-read that part of The Hobbit....
Author's reply
I don't know if those poor elves are ever going to figure out the source of the singing : ) At least, they won't in this story! Glad to make you reread, that's always a bonus when writing a gap-filler!
eiluj
· 11 December 2012
· Chapter 1: Decisions
Hi. I'm just now beginning to read this (sorry I waited). In general, I'm not so fond of the stories set in Mirkwood and made up out of whole cloth, but this is at least a canon incident, and so far your take on it is quite promising. The dwarves came from the south? Yes, that would likely have been Thranduil's take on it (it's not paranoia if Sauron really is after you), and opens up a lot of potential for the story.
And I love the mental picture of those (sadly off-stage) elflings: merry-making where they've been told not to go, thinking themselves invincible but not even noticing the dwarves, and last but not least, impersonating their elven-king!
[Psst -- a likely typo: In the chapter notes Girithron is "third child," but earlier he seems to be the second:
Beside Hananuir, his elder brother Girithron rolled his eyes. “The situation could not possibly ever be reversed, muindor.”
As Hananuir shifted his glare to his brother, Thranduil smiled for the support of his second-born, and, after Dagorlad, his heir.]
Author's reply
Hi eiluj!
Glad to have you onboard for this story! I hope to keep Mirkwood as canon as possible--so I won't try to make up too much random/crazy stuff. Thanks for finding the typo!
Fiondil
· 24 November 2012
· Chapter 2: A Song Amidst Cobwebs
Great battle scene, but no, I certainly wouldn't want to render the Attercop Song into Sindarin either. LOL! Those Elves are going to be spending a great many ages wondering just who was singing. This is so much fun, seeing these so familiar scenes from the other side, as it were. Looking forward to more.
Author's reply
Wow, Fiondil, it never occurred to me that the Attercop Song would have to be translated! That is pretty funny. Glad you're enjoying the story so far!
Fiondil
· 23 October 2012
· Chapter 1: Decisions
LOL! Having just finished re-reading The Hobbit, the events that take place in Mirkwood are fresh in my mind and I enjoy seeing this from the Elves', and especially Thranduil's, POV. I was snickering at all the wrong conclusions he was making about Thorin and the Dwarves. It will be interesting to see how this story progresses. Looking forward to more.
Author's reply
Thanks for reviewing Fiondil!
To be honest, I hadn't even contemplated the humor in this chapter! But you are totally right, knowing what is actually occurring, and seeing poor Thranduil going from bad to worse, is amusing. The next chapter should be up soon (I hope)!