Reviews (181)

lyncarol333 · 31 March 2007 · Chapter 6: The River

Sorry, but all i can think to say at the moment is, oh dear, oh dear. (Lorellin was beginning to think Turgon might be an unusually lively child.) Lively, oh dear. Tries hard not to scream with laughter at the understatment. (Neighbours would think i'm nuts). I can't help but wonder how they will get out of the tunnel though. Thank you for this wonderful chapter. Lyn

erunyauve · 31 March 2007 · Chapter 6: The River

>>Lorellin was beginning to think Turgon might be an unusually lively child. Yes, that might be one way of putting it! But it was wonderful, the way he took charge and tried to calm the other boys, even though he was frightened, too. >>Legolas had crept in, had been nearby, and Eilian, who prided himself on his scouting, had not known. That's not going to help on top of what happened when he was looking for the orcs' lair.

meckinock · 31 March 2007 · Chapter 6: The River

What an incredibly intense scene. Turgon is an amazingly resilient kid. I can't believe you killed him :-) He's cracking me up, stage-managing everyone's transformation from sailors to otters to - what did they end up with? Puppies. Awww. Eilian's search for the boys was really tightly written with lots of great sensory details. The noise of the river washed over him. Oooh, naked Eilian :-) Naked, wet, bleeding Eilian. I love how the kids swarm him so that he's worried about falling back into the river. And then how he tries to take them all under his wings like a mother duck. Lovely, mother duck Eilian. Gads, I don't know if I'd believe a promise from this bunch but I guess he doesn't have a choice. I just hope that for once in their lives they can do what they're told. He should have tied them up before he left them. And I can't believe this. Two cliffies in a row! Good thing you're a fast writer.

French Pony · 31 March 2007 · Chapter 6: The River

Turgon cracks me up. He can do anything if he has a character to play. He was so good at playing the hunting game in the clearing because he got into character, and now he manages to keep the boating party together by being a sailor, and then an otter, and then a puppy. It's almost like he's his own imaginary friend. Probably best all around for the kids that it was Eilian who got to them first. Eilian is big enough to be comforting, but he understands about things like going into the river and can comfort first and refrain from scolding until the right time for it.

Lianna · 31 March 2007 · Chapter 6: The River

It seems so much harder for Legolas than for the other two to have Eilian leave. I assume that's because Eilian is his brother, not the others'. Legolas must have started to relax as soon as he saw Eilian, but now, at the end of the chapter, he has to face having him leave. Poor baby. I love Eilian's "These things happen." They certainly happen to people like him! Probably even more than they do to Legolas.

elliska · 31 March 2007 · Chapter 6: The River

Oh Holy Cow, daw! You have written some tense scenes before but this whole chapter by far takes the cake! The elflings saving themselves from the river was incredible! Such brave little things! You have to admire Turgon's dumb courage. "We will be otters." So sweet and brave and stupid! I really just love him here. But when Lorellin came into the picture, I think my heart was pounding as much as hers as that scene built. That was incredibly well written. Poor Thranduil must have nearly died. And poor Eilian! I so felt for him. He did such a good job finding them and Legolas just loves him so much. It must have nearly killed him to leave them, but he is right that it might take hours for anyone else to figure it out. Geez, this was intense! I'm going to go read it again now that I can do it more calmly.

Tapetum Lucidum · 31 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

It's been a long time since we've visited but it feels like I never left. I'm really enjoying this story, especially all of the foreshadowing of events that are coming in other stories. It is nice to get to know Lorellin a little better. She seems to know all of her men and their ways. I love how she is looking for a mate for Ithilden but knows who Eilian is meant to be with - even if he doesn't. I really don't want he to visit her cousin because I know what will happen on the return trip. Please don't let her go! Turgon and his mother are acting as I've always imagined them, just a little too careless for the average parent. Annael seems like a good influence on both his friends. Your fox and rabbit game was very clever, especially Legolas'strategic analysis. His interpretation of Fithral's death was very realistic for a child his age. I can't blame the game leader for dodging that comment. I feel for Eilian's turmoil over his recent loss of a comrade, it must have been terrible to watch. I am interested in seeing how he works it out. I had a feeling one of the three elflings would wind up in the river - I just didn't expect it to be all three! Great job so far!

Dot · 31 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Ok, finally a chance to sit down for more than a few minutes. Love the bit with the courting squirrels! That made me laugh. Mírdaniel could do with some helpful neighbours, though, to give her a hand unpacking. You know, free her up to watch the kids… ;-) It’s hilarious how she dropped Eilian in it. Actually, she dropped herself in it too because Lorellin knows her Eilian and his part in the river story doesn’t sound as bad as the fire-jumping… I was rolling my eyes at Mírdaniel’s fond amusement at the antics of the three elflings. And I like the internal battle in Lorellin – she understands Eilian and why he does risky things and she wants to help him, but at the same time she just cannot allow him to influence her youngest son in any negative way. “Why they were in that bundle with the fishing tackle, I will never know." LOL!! That family is so scatty. I do feel for Lorellin in her regret that she’s not needed so much anymore and her longing for another baby. I appreciate these glimpses of her because it gives her more depth of character. In a way it rounds out Thranduil a bit too. "Jump!" Turgon cried. "Jump over the fire, Legolas." *groan* Actually for a moment there I thought it was a real fire. But you didn’t allow me to feel relieved for very long ;-) Though I had to laugh at Turgon’s logic about Eilian having a big fire and them having a little fire. And of course the other two follow him even while knowing they probably shouldn’t. Where to put it, the river wondered. What to do with it. I love that! The river is so alive to Legolas – probably made more alive because of Nana’s story because Nana can’t be wrong. Speaking of the river, this is an incredible image: The sound of it swelled until they rounded a bend, and there it was, tumbling along, roaring of its struggle with the flood of water and debris that drove it out of its normal harmony with the forest. Eilian usually liked the river in spring. It spoke to him of energy and excitement. This spring, though, it disturbed him, leaving him simultaneously restless and longing for its placid summer face. I love how you absolutely capture Eilian in those lines. He too is full of struggle, carrying an extra weight that burdens him and that sometimes can throw him out of harmony with the forest that’s so much a part of him. Wow. What a fright he must have got when he spotted what the three elflings were up to. I thought Eilian did well in swallowing down his instinct to hug Legolas. His little brother needs to learn, unfortunately. Annael is adorable in the way he looks after his friends. And LOL at him holding the bag out in front of him! Smells of home in spring, of innocent adventure, of his childhood. Oh, lovely. Made me all nostalgic there for a moment. I love the glow-worms! How romantic :-) But poor Eilian’s emotions seem a little too turbulent themselves and this moment isn’t going the way he expects. Not wants, I note, expects – he knows just how it should go! Amadith seems to be a lot quicker than Eilian about Celuwen too. But then, nearly everyone is… I’m surprised Eilian never thought of sneaking out in one of the barrels. It can be done, you know! My heart went out to him when Amadith mentioned how upset his Naneth would be if he vanished into a tunnel and that image of Fithral appeared in his mind again. But I think too that perhaps her words were what he needed to drag him out of the darkness and away from memories and fears. I’m smiling at Legolas considering telling Nana on Eilian. The elfling has had his feelings hurt. But geez, they’ve wandered off again. I was glued to the screen as they pushed the boat and hopped in. I just want to say now that this is NOT Eilian’s fault! Legolas had time to glimpse the rocky ledge hurrying backwards, and then he found himself in a tunnel with glowworms streaking past overhead. Oh no! Go save them, oh evil author! Eilian can’t be gone far, can he? *yells for Eilian* Excellent chapter :-)

Idhreniel · 30 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

I knew it! I knew Turgon would be excited!!! He just had to imitate Ellian! Poor Legolas shall be in trouble - at least we know he is not going to die in the river - because of the silliness of his friend. Gosh. Ellian, Ellian... Will the queen be at his side this time??? I don' thing so!!!! Looking forward for the next chapter, Daw!!!!

Idhreniel · 30 March 2007 · Chapter 4: Games

It was odd to see someone in the family watch Eillian doing foolish things and not go after him to kill him. Still, the queen was very, very worried. I like her so much! The best part of the chapter was the interaction between Thranduil and Laurellin... they are such a nice couple!

obsidianj · 30 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Ohh, you are evil! What a cliffhanger. But it had to happen. Eilian's exploits are just too tempting for little elflings. And Turgon, as always, the instigator. I'm not sure, after this escapade, how Legolas was ever allowed to play with Turgon again. But maybe that was the last time that Turgon's mother looked after them. That's probably the reason Legolas is much more familiar with Annaels parents.

obsidianj · 30 March 2007 · Chapter 4: Games

Oh, Eilian. This is the second time he does something dangerous in front of the children. Turgon is an eager watcher and probably will soon try fire jumping. Legolas is more scared than thinking of mischief. I love Lorellin's handling or better not handling of Eilian here. She just has to be there and look at him to calm him down and make him think about his foolishness. And I think that is the difference between her and Thranduil. She makes Eilian think about his actions, Thranduil spells it out and therefore raises Eilian's defenses, which gets him angry and so he runs into the next foolish situation. The Fox and Rabbit game was cute. I loved little Legolas earnestly playing the tree. And Turgon was just Turgon, redefining the rules and giving the Steward a headache.

meckinock · 30 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

I was happy to see that Mirdaniel has at least one redeeming quality - she makes a good cup of tea :-) And I was really touched by the glimpse of Lorellin's private longing for another baby. It rounded out her character to see her want something just for herself - it's not something that Thranduil wants, or any of her sons, and not really part of the package they'll remember after she's gone. It's something that belongs just to her. Ahem, but the boys picking up sticks in the background...the logic of Turgon is a thing of beauty. "So he had a big fire," Turgon reasoned. "We could have a little fire." How can you argue with that? Oh, but it gets better - they'll not go to the "boat place" (I think this might become important later) but to where the bank is high. Then they won't really be at the river. Right.... I like how Legolas and Annael just get dragged inexorably into this black hole of peer pressure. This is a textbook example of why DARE programs sound like a really great idea but don't work worth a damn. The hive mentality is so much stronger than anything grownups tell them. Everyone who thinks that if you just arm kids with information they will make Good Decisions ought to read this. /rant. I liked how Legolas was affected by the river, seemed to be in tune with it. Where to put it, the river wondered. What to do with it. I love how you make the river a character here. A really cool image. Lord, groupthink again. I love how Legolas and Annael both know Turgon's nuts but they both end up following him. If Turgon had lived, he really would have made a fine diplomat. Or White House spokesman. Romantic Eilian. Someone should tell him that if you're trying to seduce one girl and the conversation keeps drifting to another girl, that's a Clue. Eilian's reaction to the river so perfectly demonstrated his state of being at the moment, and continues the personification of the river that you set up earlier. Eilian usually liked the river in spring. It spoke to him of energy and excitement. This spring, though, it disturbed him, leaving him simultaneously restless and longing for its placid summer face. Awww, a tear rolling down Legolas's cheek. I'm with Eilian, though; the only way to nip this in the bud is to scare the snot out of him. I like how he gives the bag to Annael to carry and not to Legolas. Obviously he already sees Annael as the Responsible One. Too bad he only made them promise not to start a fire, though. I felt for Eilian when even going into the tunnel he played in as a boy filled him with bad memories, and that even under the glow of his "stars" (great concept) he wasn't able to relax and enjoy his time with the thoroughly impressed Amadith. My father always said I worked harder at risking my neck than anyone he ever met. LOLOL. Oh, the boat. Wow. Another reminder of the length of Elvish lifetimes. A boat that a young Man had built as a child would still be in pretty good shape. How old is Eilian now? Eighty or so? You set this last part up beautifully. The discussion about the building of the boat, and the youngsters' earnest and scientific efforts to figure out where the river popped back out, and their discovery of the mortal danger that would have faced them if they had actually tried to float the boat down the river.... And now that's exactly where Legolas is headed. Brilliant. And Evil. My complements :-)

elliska · 30 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

I love the opening exchange in this. It is great! And Legolas is very cute when he and his nana first arrive at Turgon's house. Children amuse me so much when they get shy over something they were so excited about. But I was very suspicious of of those sticks the moment they appeared and I was not disappointed. Eilian must have about had a heart attack. He sould have known better. I liked his 'stars.' But he doesn't seem destined to get his kisses. Legolas's hurt feelings and his thoughts that he might tell nana on Eilian just cracked me up. Kids do that and it is so funny. But the ending! They are in so much trouble and who is going to pull them out of the river this time?! Poor little Legolas might not get to play with his exciting friend Turgon again any time soon. Great chapter!

White Wolf · 30 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Oh my, and here I thought that Legolas might get a singed bottom not a wet one. Turgon has led them into trouble yet again, and this time it's a doozy. As soon as he said, "It's tied up," I thought: not for long. Annael has the right idea, but he can never seem to follow his instincts not to do the things he knows he shouldn't. The pull of peer pressure is just too great for him. I'm looking forward to finding out how long Legolas will be grounded, once he and his little friends get out of this one.

French Pony · 29 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Hmmm. . . so this is why my parents built a fence around our back yard when I was little. . . I have to say, Turgon is an enterprising little kid if he can already start a fire with flint and tinder at his age. And his logic is, of course, completely unassailable. He'd have been a kickass lawyer if he'd lived. Seems like Eilian needs to spend more time with Gelmir and the Three Stooges re-discovering his inner Elfling. If even beautiful maidens aren't doing it for him, something is definitely wrong.

pipinheart · 29 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Very nice... Turgon's nana dosen't seem to watch them very well, they keep leaving, a fire and now they followed Eilian... Perhaps he should have took them to her instead... They would follow him to the tunnel and trouble has found them, Turgon alway has had the worst ideas. I love the fact you get to hear Eilain talk about his childhood, he always was the adventerous one, if he's not careful Legolas is going to try and do all that he did as well... You feel for Eilan here,he keeps seeing over and over the death of the elf, and that is hard on him... Really, love it... Update soon...

Agape4Gondor · 29 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Drat - Turgon is definitely a little Elian - and Legolas is too good a follower. And I'm concerned for Elian - he does not seem to be dealing too well with his friend's death! Very tense and moving chapter.

Bodkin · 29 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Mírdaniel is terrifyingly incompetent. In some ways, it's not surprising that Eilian hasn't got enough sense to hand-deliver the elflings to an adult with a grasp on the real world - he's young and ... interested in other things. And he hasn't - yet - had enough experience of his little brother to know that he might just leap from a frying pan into a fire. (And no experience of Turgon. But he will.) If he is involved in getting these three out of this ... crisis? ... catastrophe in the making? ... I'm sure he will have learned a lot about the unpredictability of elflings. (Unfortunately I'm not sure he will see any parallels and focus it back towards the behaviour of rather headstrong young warriors of the southern patrol.) I'm surprised that Lorellin didn't ruthlessly dispose of the idea of visiting her kin in favour of rather more urgent maternal supervision of her young. Although a baby would seem a pleasant break compared to the nasty shocks her younger two are determined to inflict. And courting squirrels - and Eilian and Amadith. H'mm. I don't think the elflings are impressed. Although the 'star' studded cavern probably seemed no end of an adventure - until it went wrong. Lorellin should be deeply, deeply grateful that Eilian's trio included Celuwen. (Just as it's a pretty good thing that Legolas includes Annael among his friends.) Because I think it's quite likely that, without Celuwen, there wouldn't be an Eilian around now! Very scary chapter! I rather hope Thranduil doesn't hear about any of this - but I don't think any of them can count on Naneth not finding out. And I suspect parental omniscience will be much better for all concerned - even if they don't think so at the moment. But Mírdaniel ... It's a shame Mirkwood doesn't run to social workers. Turgon definitely needed better parenting.

Jay of Lasgalen · 29 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Now why did I know that was going to happen? I knew Eilian made a mistake in not hnding them all over to Turgon's mother - not that she's much use, anyway! Is she any relation to that rather laid-back leader in Spring Awakenings? The fire-jumping was inevitable - and how typical of Turgon to suggest using a real fire! His logic is terrifying (Eilian is big, so he had a big fire; they can have a small fire). Poor Eilian is still suffering from Fithral's death. His flashbacks are worrying - but will saving Legolas and his friends from another tunnel cure him? I'm worried :(

erunyauve · 28 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

>>It wanted them, and the rope decided to give the river what it wanted. It snapped in two. Legolas had time to glimpse the rocky ledge hurrying backwards, and then he found himself in a tunnel with glowworms streaking past overhead. Valar! It's a wonder Legolas was ever allowed to play with Turgon again. But then, if our parents didn't allow us to make bad friends, we'd never learn to do what is right even when a peer is begging us to do otherwise. Unfortunately, Legolas is going to have a very hard lesson. Still, though, Turgon's mother isn't minding them, and Eilian is only giving them ideas. (And Eilian can't help himself.) And I think Lorellin is sympathising too much to help him - they're too much alike.

Manderly · 28 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

The urge to reach into my computer and grab Turgon by the neck and give him a good shake was almost overwhelming while reading this. That elfling is a holy terror in every sense. Even the daredevil Eilian would be put to shame in comparison. So now we have three elflings tumbling down the river, a very angry river. Will Eilian come to their rescue for the third time? Though I think more than Eilian will be needed to fish these three out of the water. I get the feeling that Legolas will be spending some quality time with the corner of his room once this is over. Turgon will probably get a pat on the head and some airy encouragement to continue the good work.

Gwynhyffar · 28 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Oh No!!! Mean author! I can't believe you left off there! I don't think I can hold my breath for three or so days! For some reason, I think more than one person is going to end up the recipient of royal parental scolding.

rikki · 28 March 2007 · Chapter 5: Into the Tunnel

Oh my, Eilian may be a risk taker and love to do things on a dare, but Turgon can scare the hairs on your head grey! And he makes it sound so logical while he is tempting Legolas and Annael into coming along with his games. It's a good thing Eilian showed when he did at the river when Turgon was starting the fire. Considering that the elflings did not burn down the forest, it boggles the mind trying to imagine small children fire jumping without disasterous results. The tunnel with the glow worms sounds rather neat. Stars indeed! It seems to have gotten results for Eilian. He never seems to notice that he has observers. At that age girls are Ewwwww to the elflings. In fact, in one of your other stories you have the three stamping mud on two ellyn. Eilian's Darkness sickness is getting worse I think, he is flashing back on the orcs. Hopefully, Gelmir or even Lorellin will recognize the problem and get Eilian help soon. But Legolas, Annael and Turgon in the boat? I am hoping you have the gate to the underground passage open when the boat shows up. If Legolas thinks the river sounds angry, just wait until Thranduil find out about this adventure.

erunyauve · 28 March 2007 · Chapter 4: Games

>>"Good," the steward said. "You must also make only tree noises." >>Legolas nodded. That made sense. He hummed a tree song under his breath and then murmured like fluttering leaves. ::g:: I so love your Wood Elves! >>Turgon's eyes were huge in his flushed, excited face, but Annael was looking at Legolas, whose face was pale. Legolas's hands were pressed against his chest, as if trying to shove something back. He was frightened, Eilian realized with vexation. Oh, not good, Eilian! >>"Is she angry?" Gelmir asked. >>"Not really." Eilian wriggled his shoulders. Just as long as Adar doesn't find out (even if he *is* the original fire-jumper).