Bodkin · 9 August 2006 · Chapter 1: A Father and Son Camping Trip
Oh my - that is gorgeous. Lalorn and Legolas together - and awaiting Beliond's arrival in the Blessed Realm. The elves of Aman won't know what's hit them! I am so glad that he has decided to sail - I'm sure he left it as long as he possibly could, but his wife and son have won out in the end. I loved the almost grown Lalorn controlling his natural desire to snap at Thranduil's presence and subdue all impetuous behaviour! And he was such a good lad - and so quick to dive to Beliond's rescue. And of course those pesky dwarves will have caused the problem with their unthinking attempt to bend the forest to fit their requirements rather than adapting themselves to fit the forest! Sometimes they're as much trouble as men. The devious bunch of Aftercomers. They won't have bothered that the effects of their behaviour is spoiling Lalorn's begetting day treat of camping with his remarkably foul-mouthed adar. (I'm impressed that Lalorn's naneth has managed to bring the boy to the verge of adulthood without knowing the meaning of some of his adar's expressions!) The way you have written the rehoused Lalorn looking back tolerantly on his youthful self is delightful - an edge of humour tinges all he says. And you cleverly concealed the storyteller's identity for a long while, before letting everything slot into place. Lovely, daw. Just lovely. (And so suitable for the victim of Beliond's current embodiment.)
Author's reply
Did I fool you? Good! I thought it would all seem a little "off." The voice of the narrator is a little snarkier than Legolas usually is. What I hope is that he sounds like a boy who has Beliond for a father. Lalorn keeps his gripes mostly to himself, which is the right thing to do. I don't usually write first person and I found it interesting to give the narrator someone to speak to. That made all this confession seem more natural and gave me a chance to have him judge his earlier actions too. Glad you liked it.