fadagaski
· 8 November 2004
· Chapter 5: January 13, 3019 (Night Part 1)
Yay! Chapter! And what a fine chapter it was, too! Considering that you were oh-so-worried about a hobbits' POV, it was more of a shock to see a pony POV in there. But oh, how wonderful it was. Favourite parts would be ... Boromir's inclusion in helping the hobbits - such a thing for him to do. Aragorn's words influencing Bill's actions was unique and very cool. And Sam's note-taking for Bilbo.
Cannot WAIT for the chapter when Gandalf falls (will be listening to the music for that; expect tears) and when they're all running to Lothlorien.
Author's reply
The pony perspective I was trying to keep a secret for as long as possible just to see what reaction would be without preparation. Most people seem to like it, so I'm satisfied.
Gandalf's fall is still several chapters away, but it's coming!
Bodkin
· 8 November 2004
· Chapter 5: January 13, 3019 (Night Part 1)
One of the things I love - it's all so multi-sensory. Hearing, touch etc are all incorporated.
I just adore Sam - keeping count of the number of steps so that he can report back to Bilbo. And Gimli's Dwarven pride is great, too.
The heat is interesting - I usually visualise Moria as cold with a capital C, but, of course, there are the chasms leading down to the fire - and the B-a-l-r-o-g, so stifling heat is really likely.
Although, Bill is possibly the best bit of all. Yes, get the wolves, Bill!! You can do it! I'm glad he got home safely.
Author's reply
In thinking back on my impressions from the books, my view of Moria is primarily cold, too. But in rereading these sections and writing about them, I've discovered that Tolkien clearly states the lower levels of Moria are hot and stifling. So I included it. And now that I think about it, I remember reading that but as it was never explained, I didn't pay that much attention. Which is weird, because that's usually the sort of thing that catches my interest.
Glad you liked Bill's section, and I'm glad you liked Sam counting the steps. Somebody had to, otherwise how would we know how many there were?
grumpy
· 8 November 2004
· Chapter 5: January 13, 3019 (Night Part 1)
great chapter. trapped inside with only one way out, everybody on edge, and Sam counting steps, I love it that he is doing it, so he can tell Bilbo the details. The part about Bill the pony was great.
Author's reply
Thanks for the review! I hesitated with Sam, but I needed...well, the equivelant of a steady bass line for the trek up the steps. Something everybody could refer back to when the conversation lulled, and counting steps seemed to be it. Glad you liked it. And glad you liked Bill's section, too!
Hai Took
· 8 November 2004
· Chapter 5: January 13, 3019 (Night Part 1)
Another Chapter! How delightful! Oh dear Frodo being so frightened and his whole being glad that the doors were such but realizing it left them no option but to move forward would be more than a little frightening!
You write Merry so well, hie thoughts and feelings on things! Seeing the gouges in the stone "created by something strogner than the mountains" is quite a terrifing thought! The way that they crossed the crack in the floor was inventive! I'm glad that Boromir was able to help so nicely.
I guess that Legolas was seeing Gollum? In a way I hope so becasue that means there is nothing more frightening behind them! Although he can be quite the sneak.
The whole bit with Bill was great! I like that you gave us a little bit of information on Bill's trip back to Rivendell, splendid! Also I must say I liked his description of Gandalf "The tall, troubled, bearded master who smelled of smoke and stars." That seems to fit him so perfectly!
I am looking forward to more and hope it won't be too long! Thank you it was fun!
Author's reply
My own favorite moment in the chapter is Bill's description of Gandalf, so I'm glad you liked that. I worked on that line for a bit. I was hoping to draw out a contrast between Merry's uncertainty in trusting only Gandalf and the fact that Bill seems to trust him implicitly, but I think that got lost in the shuffle. Ah well.
Yes, Legolas did see Gollum, and a few other members of the Fellowship are going to see him before we're through. I figured I'd introduce him early so that we could get glimpses of him throughout. And thank you for your thoughts on Merry and Frodo. I'm fairly uncertain of their characterizations, so it helps when people see things that they like. I know to keep doing those things.
nightsky
· 7 November 2004
· Chapter 5: January 13, 3019 (Night Part 1)
Wonderful to see another chapter of this story. This story has become almost canon to me. And the last part with Bill was masterful!
Author's reply
Glad you liked it, and I'm very glad you liked Bill. I don't know about making this story canon, but even so, I'm flattered by the compliment. Thank you!
fliewatuet
· 7 November 2004
· Chapter 5: January 13, 3019 (Night Part 1)
A wonderful chapter, as always! The last part, in particular, was rather unexpected, but a wonderful treat nonetheless. I still don't know why you worry about your ability to write from the Hobbits' POVs. You did a marvellous job, especially with Merry's keen observations about the change in his companions' behaviour.
Author's reply
Thank you very much for your comments about hobbits. I'll try to be more confident when writing them, but I still feel like I can't find a balance. I feel as though I'm either overplaying or underplaying them, and the voices have always felt awkward to me. But thank you for the encouragement, and I'm very glad you like Merry. He's the hobbit I feel most comfortable writing. And if I've gotten him right, maybe I can do the same thing to the other hobbits that I did to him.
daw the minstrel
· 7 November 2004
· Chapter 5: January 13, 3019 (Night Part 1)
You know, the fact that Bill made it home safely was an enormous relief to me when I read the books. I wish I could reassure Sam now. But I was thrilled when I got to the part from Bill's POV. Words of guard and guiding indeed! I love it when magic turns up in these stories.
I liked Aragorn's answer as to how old the steps were. I enjoy it when authors use canon like that to give depth to their stories and make the world of ME seem more substantial. Pippin must feel like I do when I see things like the Roman acqueducts. But the thought that elves are even older was the real "eye opener"!
The rising heat is an interesting detail, like a descent into hell. I have my copy of FOTR open here and I see where you're drawing from, but you do make me see how the Fellowship might have felt on experiencing this.
Author's reply
Glad you liked Bill! I always wondered how he got back to Bree after leaving the gang at Moria, but I wasn't sure I could write him convincingly. It's insanely difficult to write animals, especially when they get the POV. But I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad you liked the tidbits about Moria's founding. I figured that as long as we were here, we might as well get a history lesson. ;)
As for the heat, I was always disappointed that Tolkien didn't do more with it. It was very intriguing for me, so I decided to include it as a mood setter.
Periantari
· 7 November 2004
· Chapter 5: January 13, 3019 (Night Part 1)
great chapter~!!! not only did you give Merry and Frodo's perspective on things, but also Bill the Pony~! what a pleasant surprise :) I thought that part was done really well. =)
Thought it was detailed and right that you mentioned that Bill was going on instinct to go northwest.
For me, i like hobbits so I especially liked what you wrote for Frodo.
I liked this part the best:
That wasn’t really an answer, Frodo thought, struggling to ignore the chill of dread that had taken up residence in his stomach. It was eerily similar to the chill of the Ring as it lay against his chest, and he shivered, earning himself a concerned look from Sam. Shaking his head quickly to reassure the gardener, he turned to his pack and swung it up on his shoulders. Maybe once they began moving again, he would feel better.
A cynical voice in the back of his mind laughed at that thought.
i love how you include the Ring whenever you write about Frodo.. indeed the Ring gains power as it moves closer to Mordor and i'm glad that you are careful and inclusive to write about that too.
I think i saw your LJ entry previewing this story and i agree with most comments that say you write hobbits really well. I admire all your writing but i feel also that you give an authentic voice to hobbits. Your vignette on Frodo in "Currents" is one of my favorite pieces ever and i admire your view on them in "During" as well.
So keep writing hobbits and this story for I like both very much. :)
Good job, THundera, as always~ =)
Author's reply
*beams* Glad you liked Bill. I wasn't entirely sure of his section, to be honest, but I decided to throw it to the wolves (pun partially intended) and see what they made of it. The overall result is fairly positive, so I'll mark this down as a success of sorts. Thanks for your compliments!
As for Frodo and the Ring, I always wonder if I'm overdoing it with him. Because the Ring *is* a weight, but it's nothing like what he experiences when he gets near Mordor. But it seems to me that at this point, he should be...aware of it. Moreso than before. It's not yet wearisome or taxing, but it is there, so I try to include it. I'm ecstatic that you noticed, and even more elated at the fact that you approve. So thank you for that! And I'll try to keep writing hobbits, though in truth, they scare me more than any other member of the Fellowship does.
French Pony
· 7 November 2004
· Chapter 5: January 13, 3019 (Night Part 1)
Let's see. What would be the better thing to do, leave you a review or continue working on my annotated bibliography about The Rite of Spring? Well, I've listed seven sources. I deserve a break.
The absolutely best thing about this chapter was, of course, the ending with What Happened To Bill The Pony. There's action and drama, all within a very equine viewpoint. Bill ends up as such a sympathetic character, and you can just feel the blessing hovering over his pony head even without the constant verbal reminders. I don't think I've ever read what happened to Bill right after he left them, and it was a lovely surprise to see it there.
On to our two-legged friends. Frodo comes off nicely, as a guy who is just beginning to get over the shock of starting out on the Quest and is starting to appreciate what his reality has become. He's starting to get to know those of his companions he didn't know before, and he's starting to interpret their body language. As he gets more accustomed to his companions and his situation, he can really start to see his surroundings, and of course what one can see of Moria in the dim light is worth looking at. The hobbits become Middle-earth's first tourists. Raise your hand if you're surprised. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Before we leave the subject of hobbits, I would like to take the time to say that I was always most impressed with them for jumping the seven-foot cracks. Fear does lend wings to the feet, but still, jumping twice your body length is no mean thing. I'm just under five and a half feet tall, and I can't imagine jumping eleven feet of distance.
It seems that having a tense-as-piano-wire Wood-elf around might be a sign to the Company that All Is Not Well. But Legolas can't be very specific in his warnings -- he doesn't know that there is a Balrog, and he probably wouldn't be able to identify it immediately, having never experienced one before (it seems to have taken him a few moments on the Bridge of Khazad-Dum to put two and two together) -- and they don't have time to deal with non-specifics of "something bad is out there" when there is a dark treacherous maze to be navigated by three people who each kinda sorta know their way around.
Author's reply
Oooo...I take precedence over an annotated bibliography! And one about the "Rite of Spring," no less. Does that make me more important than Stravinsky? ;)
Writing Bill was stepping out onto a huge limb for me. I couldn't decide how smart to make him or how aware of surroundings and events he should be. I'm not entirely sure what the end result is, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. As for the hobbits, I can just see them heading back to the Shire and setting up travel packages for Moria and surrounding areas. Minus the seven foot cracks, of course (which they'll end up jumping next chapter).
As for the high-strung elf, I think the Fellowship is already aware that All Is Not Well. But like Legolas, they don't know exactly what's wrong and even if they did, there's not a lot they could do about it. But I love your description of their situation with "three people who each kinda sorta know their way around." That made me laugh!
Estel_Mi_Olor
· 25 August 2004
· Chapter 4: January 13, 3019 (Evening)
Thank you for this lovely present. I just got back from my vacation and what do I find? A Thundera update of one of my favorite fics! YAY!
Great chapter! Very tense, lots of suspense. I love chapters like that. You make everything so much more interesting that the original Tolkien-which I do not mean to belittle in any way. I think it's having many different perspectives instead of just one. You get a more detailed picture that way.
One of my favorite parts in the chapter was Gandalf's POV about the riddle. There are so many character quirks missing! It seems so perfect though that Gandalf should go off to test his mind against others that are Wise. So Gandalf. And on this note I would like to try my hand at guessing the EVENT is...
Event is either 1 of 3 possible things: 1) Legolas and Boromir going scouting. 2) Merry and Gandalf thinking of the password instead of Frodo. or 3) Legolas getting cut off from the rest of the Fellowship. Now I realize that I am only supposed to name one event...so I think it is either 1 or 3... :) Do I still get bonus points if I'm right? And I didn't look in HOME or at the end of the chapter. I'm going to do that after I send the review.
Thanks again for this great chapter, Thundera. Can't wait for more!
Author's reply
Glad to provide you with this "present." I'd hoped to have updated FND by now, too, but that just hasn't worked out. Within the next couple of days, though. Hopefully...
I'm very glad you like the character perspectives that go into this, because really, that's the only thing making this different from a verbatim retelling of the book. And it's becoming more difficult to gives these events a unique spin because we're entering parts of the book where Tolkien spent time going into detail about what was happening. Makes it more difficult.
I rather enjoyed Gandalf's POV in this chapter. I'll confess upfront that it was my favorite to write. It's definitely a more...old school Gandalf. In other words, this is Gandalf the Gray as we saw him in "The Hobbit." Subtly different from Gandalf the Gray of LotR, and VERY different from Gandalf the White.
As for your event...you can't guess two! That's cheating. But #3 is the right one. In the books, Legolas was with the rest of the Fellowship when the Watcher attacked, but in HOME, he was off wandering the lake shore and had to jump over the tentacles to get back. #1 was my own addition, but as it doesn't directly contradict anything in the books, I don't count it as a canon violation. #2 *is* canon because in the books it's Merry who spots the clue on the door (though he doesn't realize that's what he sees) and Gandalf who solves the rest of the riddle. That part always bothered me in the movies. What was up with Frodo thinking of the password? It was Gandalf and Merry! Sheesh! So...partial bonus points for you because you cheated and went for two events.
Ariel
· 4 August 2004
· Chapter 4: January 13, 3019 (Evening)
Nicely paced and balanced - a surprisingly interesting read for such familiar territory. I have heard such works referred to as a 'retelling of the story' but no one who had read these fascinating pieces could consider your stories merely retelling. You bring forth plausible thoughts and POVs without going off on bizarre, self-serving tangents. You serve Tolkien's story, and I admire anyone who has that kind of respect for the work. Bravo. A very rewarding read.
Author's reply
Thank you so much! I'm often terrified that I've fallen into the trap of "retelling," and at the same time, I'm terrified that I've wandered too far away from canon in an effort to avoid said "retelling." Balance is hard to achieve, and there are a few sections already that make me wince a bit. But thank you so much for your vote of confidence. Your words mean much, and it gives me encouragement that I'm not just regurgitating what's already been written. Thank you again!
Hai Took
· 4 August 2004
· Chapter 4: January 13, 3019 (Evening)
Wonderful! Another chapter! Aragorn's unease about entering Moria was very good! Because of his foresight he would know that something terribel waitst hem but the way you wrote him still seeming so calm to those around him, save Legolas, was very in character for him! Pippin's thoughts and wavering faith in Gandalf's ability to get them in through Moria is a very real though. For this is perhaps the first time the hobbits have seen Gandalf come up against something and not be able to overcome in right away! I love they way you stick to the books, please continue to do so! Adding bits from the original manuscripts is neat as well! I like that you still included that it was Merry who was on the right track! I can't wait for more, and I will try to be patient ;) Looking forward to more!
Author's reply
Thank you very much! It was my opinion that Aragorn's unease was underplayed in the books, but then, none of the characters really got a chance to voice their feelings when they entered the mines. I actually debated about making Pippin seem like the doubting noe (I made Merry agree with him so he'd have company) but as you put it, this is the first time the hobbits have seen Gandalf falter. Granted that he doesn't falter for very long, but cnosidering their situation, it had to be something of a tension builder. Anyway, thanks so much for the review! I'll work on the next chapter for you!
Kitt of Lindon
· 30 July 2004
· Chapter 4: January 13, 3019 (Evening)
What can I say? In FotR, this was one of my favorite parts and I am pleased to see you have done it justice.
You made the characters of Aragorn and Gandalf brilliantly clear when you used their POV.
I absolutly love that you put Legolas' little scene at the end. I agree that it makes it more exciting. The first time after I read it in HoMe, I kept wondering why Tolkien would not have included it. (especially for the reason that it gave Legolas a scene as he is rarely mentioned at all) Ah well, it made my day to see that. :)
Author's reply
I also wondered why Legolas's little jump over the tentacles wasn't in the final version. I think it was marked to go into the third draft but didn't. Either that or I'm getting it mixed up with Legolas's wounding on the bridge. I'll have to recheck that later. Anyway, I thought it added a bit of drama to the scene, and it was good for keeping up the tension, which sags somewhat after the Warg fight. Anyway, thanks so much for your compliments!
Elwen
· 30 July 2004
· Chapter 4: January 13, 3019 (Evening)
I am continualy surprised by the depth of your knowledge and research. But what I like most about that is that you use it to craft the story . . . rather than using the story to display your skill.
You gave us a lovely dip into many of the Fellowship's minds here too, building the tension and unease by describing in detail their reactions to the place.
I don't mind if you write in book or movie version. Both are valid. But I admire your strength of will in trying to stick to book version.
Author's reply
Wow. I think that's quite possibly the best compliment anyone has ever given me. Thank you! I'm frequently concerned that research and details overwhelm the story, so I try to tone them down as much as possible. I'm glad you think it's working. That makes me much more comfortable about these kind of things. Not *too* comfortable, of course, because that can be dangerous. But the pressure is eased a bit. Thank you very much!
daw the minstrel
· 30 July 2004
· Chapter 4: January 13, 3019 (Evening)
I liked the way you showed the experience of the four warriors through things such as Aragorn's and Gimli's ability to go through the packs and sort out unneeded items quickly. Actually, I think what I like about that scene in particular is that it's Gimli and Aragorn. Gimli is usually neglected in fanfic in general, so having him and Aragorn shown as trusting one another's knowledge and working together was an attractive image.
I also liked the idea of Gandalf enjoying games and puzzles, even (especially?)dangerous ones. And Gandalf's reasoning about the inscriptions was interesting to read. He sees that Merry got to the right part right away! And he thinks of Boromir as innocent. That was striking.
Nice instantiation of Sam having to choose between Bill and Frodo when the Watcher grabs Frodo.
Author's reply
The neglect of Gimli is something that really irks me about fanfiction. Not all fanfiction, of course, because there are some extremely talented writers out there who are amazing at writing the dwarf. But by and large, he's a very forgotten character. Which is a shame, because he's such an intriguing, complex character.
Gandalf's love of "dangerous games" was one of my favorite parts of this chapter. I hesitated when including it, but then I started thinking about "The Hobbit" and just what he got himself into in that particular story. And as Gandalf the *Gray*, he was something of a risk taker. Gandalf the White was, too, but he didn't seem to enjoy it as much as the old version.
As for the innocence of Boromir, it's my personal theory that innocence is what the Ring preyed upon. Boromir only wanted to help his people. It was an innocent desire that the Ring twisted, and compounded with general ignorance, it pulled Boromir into its clutches.
fliewatuet
· 30 July 2004
· Chapter 4: January 13, 3019 (Evening)
I just discovered that I forgot to review the last chapter. Sorry for that. But your story still has me thrilled (and is a nice read over breakfast:-)). You are doing a marvellous job at combining Tolkien's dialogue with the thoughts and introspection of the various characters. And I absolutely loved the linguistic explanation for Gandalf's failure to find the correct password immediately ;-)
fliewatuet
Author's reply
No problem about the reviewing! I'm terrible at it myself, so I'm elated that anyone remembers to review at all. I don't and I beat myself up over it constantly. Anyway, glad you liked this chapter and I hope it went well with whatever you had for breakfast. Thanks for the encouragement about the integration of Tolkien and introspection. That's what gave me the most trouble with this particular chapter, so I'm especially glad you liked that part.
Jay of Lasgalen
· 30 July 2004
· Chapter 4: January 13, 3019 (Evening)
I'm very pleased to see a return of this story, I like the level of detail from the books that you include. The scene by the pool as Gandalf pondered had more tension - they'd have been in big trouble if he couldn't work it out!
An additional elf scene is always good, and the HoME books are a great source for abandoned plot lines that can be resurrected and still be canon! (or nearly). There's one later on the bridge of Khazad-Dum that I want to use one day. I think, though, that I'd have liked to see Gimli helping Legolas.
Jay
Author's reply
I was really tempted to keep in the part where Gimli hauls Legolas in, and now that I think about it in retrospect, I've spotted a few ways in which it could have been done. But it still felt somewhat...awkward to me. Especially in light of a few things that are upcoming. But I completely understand where you're coming from. I wanted to keep it in, too.
The part on the bridge...like I told French Pony, it *might* be included, but I haven't decided yet. If it is included, it's very likely that Legolas won't be the one injured but that I'll have transferred his injury to another. But it's going to depend on the narrative flow in the Chamber of Mazarbul. That part is outlined, but there's a big difference between an outline and a flesh-out chapter.
French Pony
· 29 July 2004
· Chapter 4: January 13, 3019 (Evening)
It's interesting to see how the structure of this is developing compared to "While The Ring Went South." In the earlier one, you had much more freedom, as you were detailing events that Tolkien glosses over in about a page and a half. Here, you're entering territory that he's already covered. You're more limited in what you can do, and I think you'll need to be careful from here on out that you don't spend too much time in repeating the book.
The best writing in this chapter is in those parts where the "book action" is going on, but your action focuses on what someone else is doing in the meantime. With nine characters to work with, you'll generally have plenty of choice, and this would also help to give a sense that this is new ground we're covering here instead of treading the narrow original path.
I think the beginning of the chapter, with Aragorn's musings, dragged a bit, but once you got the whole gang together, it picked up. You're getting more confident at writing Hobbits, and it was a good choice to use Merry and Pippin for viewpoint in the middle of the chapter.
I was wondering if I'd notice the bit of action from HOME, as I haven't read them in a while, and my LOTR books are packed until mid-August, but about halfway through, I remembered Legolas's leap, and sure enough, there it was at the end. I remember, when I first read about it, thinking that Tolkien shouldn't have cut it, as it's a nicely amazing little moment. There's another, similar, bit of action in HOME that got cut from the final version that takes place just as the Fellowship is leaving the mines. I'll be interested to see if you'll include that bit; you'd have to do some rewriting to accommodate it, but it'd be interesting to see.
Author's reply
Which part of the HOME version? The part in which Legolas gets shot, crawls over the bridge, and Gimli gets to play archer? Or the part in which both the Balrog and Gandalf take a nosedive into the abyss because a troll jumped onto the bridge after them and broke it? I'm definitely not including the second one. To me, it's an insult to both Gandalf and the Balrog. I mean, taken out by a troll? No, Maia should take down Maia. At least, that's my opinion. As for the other one...I'm still debating it. I've left the outline open enough that it's possible to include it, but I'm not sure if I will. I've also considered switching the victim off of Legolas and giving it to another character, but I don't think I'll say who just yet. Still, the fact that Legolas was shot seems a more plausible reason than shock, but given that this *is* a Balrog... Yeah. Still debating it.
I'm making a note of your warning to be careful, and frankly, it's something that terrifies me. I'm most concerned about the Twenty-First Hall, the Chamber of Mazarbul and the Bridge. So much is already laid out in those sections. That's part of what makes shifting into the HOME version so appealing. Before we get to that point, it's almost like "While the Ring went south..." all over again. They trek through the dark, there are a few scenes of dialogue, and then more trekking. And along the way there are holes and bumps and obstacles. Much easier than this chapter.
So your recommendation is to concentrate on what other people are doing when Tolkien's dialogue gets rolling. Got it. I can certainly try that. That's actually the plan of attack for the Twenty-First Hall. The Chamber of Mazarbul still needs work, while the bridge...well, I've left it open, so I'm not sure who will be saying or doing what yet.
On a final note, MANY thanks for the review, and for all the reviews you've ever given! I love the fact that you tell me what's not working. It helps immensely in revisions and future chapters. Not everybody is willing to do that. Thanks again!
songfire
· 1 June 2004
· Chapter 3: January 13, 3019 (Day)
As it is with all of your stories I've read so far, I greatly enjoy it - you have a rare gift for capturing the characters with all their endearing quirks! My thoughts are with you and I hope you will recover fully soon!
Author's reply
I thank you very kindly for your concern. I'm doing much better, which is a relief to almost everyone around me. Exhaustion was getting tiring. (Pun partially intended. Feel free to throw things at the computer screen.) And thank you so much for your compliments about characterization. With this story in particular, that's my primary goal. It's difficult to do much else with missing scenes unless you go AU, so I'm glad the characterization is coming across.
Elentari
· 4 April 2004
· Chapter 3: January 13, 3019 (Day)
Two hobbit point of views are indeed preciousssss =)...perhaps the hobbits are relunctant to think of anything too overly pessimistic that will happen...
I really like this line:
"And perhaps my old Gaffer will grow himself a pair of wings and learn to fly, a small and disturbingly cynical voice in the back of Sam’s mind replied."
lol :D
very good job Thundera! i hope you feel better! i don't mind the long updates (since you give us sooo much in one chapter) =)
I can't wait till how you deal with the Watcher in the Water... can that be in Frodo's point of view? pretty please?
yep.. your hobbit point of views aren't bad at all... thanks a lot~
Author's reply
Frodo just barely had a POV. Back-to-back POV's are generally something I avoid doing when there are so many characters in the scene, though it has happened upon occasion. The current outline calls for the Watcher scene to have a Gandalf perspective. But don't worry. When the next Frodo POV comes up, he'll probably relive his little adventure with the tentacles. It's not exactly something that you forget.
And I'm glad you understand the long updates. I do try for more frequent ones, but these stories sometimes burn me out, so I have to take breaks. Or I get sick. One or the other.
Kitt of Lindon
· 3 April 2004
· Chapter 3: January 13, 3019 (Day)
I am so, so sorry to hear you were sick. But it certainly made my day seeing this updated!
Everyone is still kept beautifuly in canon. Boromir's thoughts on offending the Valor had me chuckling.
I like how you lightened Legolas and Gimli's proposal of 'going as far as the mountains'. It seems in fan fiction, people forget about that. I'm greatful for your Tolkien wisdom in writing this.
I'm really looking forward to your take on the next parts. Book or movie, by the gate of Moria is one of my favorite parts.
I hope you feel better!
Author's reply
I've got this plot bunny nibbling at my heals that deals with the possibility of what might have happened had Gimli and Legolas only gone as far as the mountains and no further. There would have been serious ramifications as far as Rohan was concerned, and had they not been there to kill Orcs at Amon Hen, it's possible that Aragorn, Frodo, and Sam might not have escaped unscathed. Strange and random plot bunny, but still interesting. Anyway, I figured I'd remind everyone that some members of this Fellowship weren't in it for the long haul when they first started out. And kudos to you for remember this!
LKK
· 2 April 2004
· Chapter 3: January 13, 3019 (Day)
I'm so sorry to read that you've been sick, Thundera. :-(
I hope that writing this chapter didn't put too much strain on your health. Hopefully, it was theraputic in some way.
Your illness certainly wasn't evident in the quality of your writing. This chapter was very good. Filled with highs and lows, humor and worry. I laughed out loud at least twice. (Especially after Boromir's comment about offended Valar!) And I was filled with dread several times.
There is a lot to comment on regarding the excellence of your writing. But to keep from boring you by droning on and on, I'll only talk about one thing that impresses me. I'm awed at your control of POV. You shift narrators throughout the chapter. But once you've picked a new narrator, you keep a very tight reign on that narrator. Not only in what the narrator can see, hear, and do. But also in he thinks, what he knows, and how he vocalizes the narration. This sounds like such a simple task. But I know from many years of reading that while many authors try, not nearly as many authors succeed. You do. And you succeed amazingly well. :-)
I hope you continue to recover, Thundera!
Author's reply
Writing was very therapeutic, actually. And thanks for your condolences. I'm getting better, so I'm going to be happy with that for now.
Anyway, thanks so much for your compliments about POV. It's one of my favorite tools to use while writing, and I spend a lot of time going back over sections trying to determine if this is really how a character thinks or not. The problem is that sometimes I become so swept up in these characters that I can't tell where my own voice ends and theirs begins, so I have to put the entire thing on hold once in a while just so I can step back and figure out who they are and who I am. It's tedious, but I think it impacts the writing. Thank you so much for picking up on it!
Imrahoil
· 1 April 2004
· Chapter 3: January 13, 3019 (Day)
5 weeks, that's a bit extreme. I hope you're really better now, not only for selfish reasons. :)
Wonderful chapter - as always, but it seems no fanfiction writer complains about hearing it more than once -. You do your Tolkien so well that I had to reread the book chapter to be sure what was yours and what was his. That doesn't happen very often. I do so like your hobbits ("I don’t suppose we could stop for a bit of food," Merry said casually. ... "Soon, Master Meriadoc," Gandalf answered, his pace quickening slightly."), Aragorn trying to delude himself and the others was delightful, obviously a first the way he hashed it up, and I love the way you depict Boromir, he is just the way I always imagined him.
Well, Gimli is still not in the mines, Eomer still addle brained, Legolas still rotting in a cave, but it is a start after all.
Author's reply
I am feeling much better now, thanks for asking. Theoretically I should be at the end of my convalesence, but recovering completely from it might actually take a few more months. Grrr. Ah well.
And you are very right. Every fanfiction writer loves to hear the words "wonderful chapter," so thanks for indulging my ego. And thanks for the compliments on blending this with Tolkien. It's part of what makes this such a difficult story to write, because I need to have my own voice but I don't want to interrupt Tolkien. Balance is a tricky thing, and I'm never sure if I've achieved it or not. So thanks for those words!
Hai
· 31 March 2004
· Chapter 3: January 13, 3019 (Day)
It was great to see an update! But I'm sorry you were so sick! I hope you are feeling better and do not have another relapse! This chapter was well worth the wait! You have such a grand way of writing that I just can't wait for more! That was weird all the wargs disappearing. Is there ever a reason for that? I guess it is just suppose to be a weapon of the enemy's. Nasty to have to wade through the slimy water! I know I wouldn't relish and to then have to continue in the same clothes, yuck! I can't wait to read about the Watcher in the Water! Thank you!
Author's reply
Thanks for the healthy wishes. I'm being very gentle with myself, so hopefully I'll recover this time. As for all the wargs disappearing...Tolkien never gave us a reason for it and I've always preferred it that way. Which is strange, I guess, but I like the element of mystery and uncertainty that it gives to the story. We're really not sure what kind of forces we're dealing with, and it makes it all the more ominous because of that. The Watcher will be making his/her grand appearance next chapter, so stay tuned.
French Pony
· 31 March 2004
· Chapter 3: January 13, 3019 (Day)
Okey doke, between the eyeball inflammation, the new minion and my fencing class, I have finally managed to find some time to sit down and write you a little note.
I am very glad that you chose to continue this story, and especially that you continued it in the way you did. It's been so long since chapter two that the little bit of recap disguised as recall worked well to ease us back into the setting. I especially enjoyed that it was Boromir. I know you like working with the Three Hunters most, but when you write through Boromir's eyes, the result is enchantingly grumpy and dour. I like your Boromir.
The other part of the chapter that really stood out was when you had it be Sam who was especially happy that Legolas would be staying with them. Sam always was so taken with Elves, it's a wonder that so few people (Tolkien included) write about the way he must have felt dealing with Legolas, having "an Elf of his very own" 24-7 for over a month. It's so very Sam to be thinking of his chances to see Elves in the middle of a long journey, and probably one of the few rewards he gets from traipsing along looking after Mr. Frodo.
'Tis all for now. I'm sleepy, and I must get to bed.
Author's reply
Ugh. The eyeball inflammation doesn't sound fun. I hope it gets better for you!
My many thanks for your comments about Boromir. I do like the Three Hunters, but I've discovered something incredibly endearing about Boromir and he's rapidly becoming one of my favorite characters as far as writing goes. I guess it's because I see him as so different from the rest of the Fellowship, though they're all different in their own ways. But with Boromir, it's easier to make the differences more pronounced. I've often wondered if I'm going too far with him, but no one has objected much yet. So I guess I'm good for now.
Take care of that eye! It's all fun and games until you lose it.