Such Fragile, Mortal Lives by Avon
docmon · 5 January 2005 · Chapter 1: Such Fragile, Mortal Lives
wonderful vignette! And don't touch the ending. It's just what it's supposed to be.
Author's reply
Thanks, Docmon. I've decided that I hate endings - I'm just never certain about them now. ;-)
grumpy · 3 January 2005 · Chapter 1: Such Fragile, Mortal Lives
great story, love how you have written the twins, and their concern for Estel. It has to be hard for them to let him go into battle, knowing what happenned to his father, and helping to raise him since them.
Author's reply
Thanks, Grumpy. Yeah, I figure it has be. They must have watchd so many mortals die anyway, and then to have Arathorn killed in such a way. Poor twins.
Lackwit · 2 January 2005 · Chapter 1: Such Fragile, Mortal Lives
The KISS principle (keep It Simple, Sweetie :) ) works well here. Your story stops at the right time, at a moment caught in time with no resolution or real ending; that bittersweet timelessness nicely juxtaposes the lives of the twins (what is time to an Elf?) and Aragorn's. Thanks for a sweet, sad vignette (wallow is good! makes one contemplative)
Author's reply
Okay, thanks - that's very reassuring. wallow is good! *grin* I like wallow, both to read and to write. It's just from the moment I first dicovered fanfic (Star Trek and the Blake's 7) I've always been told that you are *not* supposed to like it. Oh well, I've never been too good with 'don'ts'.
meckinock · 2 January 2005 · Chapter 1: Such Fragile, Mortal Lives
What a great wallow story! Avon, you are so skillful at highlighting intricate and insightful details of both the physical surroundings and the characters' viewpoints and personality traits. I loved the way you slowly, painstakingly, revealed the source of tension between the twins and in so doing opened an old wound and examined their disparate reactions to it. I second the motion to clean out your hard drive...
Author's reply
Gosh, thanks, Meckinock. I wish I could say I do any of that deliberately ;-) It all just meanders along and hopefully we get somewhere... hopefully ;-) Avon
purrlin · 2 January 2005 · Chapter 1: Such Fragile, Mortal Lives
As sorry as I am to say this....Jay is wrong. It is well written and ends beautifully as it means that more is to come and yes they will feel this fear often..maybe sometimes one more than the other. Sometimes allowing the reader to interpret the ending is better than spoon feeding them responses. You have painted the three brothers beautifully. I have always wondered at the opposite though...Aragorn's feelings on endangering his brothers...but thats another thing entirely. This was wonderful and I thank you for another nice and heartfelt interaction within the family Elrondion. If there's anything else languishing upon your hard drive please set it free and let the rest of us nurture it too. Thanks again purrlin :) (Oh how I hated to say I disagreed with anything written by Jay...I am a great fan. Please forgive me!)
Author's reply
Thanks, Purrlin. I do lean a bit toward your view - though I'm certainly not going to disregard anything Jay says; she's far too good a writer for that. I've also had another suggestion from Alawa on lj, which I also want to look at. I have always wondered at the opposite though...Aragorn's feelings on endangering his brothers Interesting - at what point? If there's anything else languishing upon your hard drive please set it free and let the rest of us nurture it too. *grin* Oh you wouldn't want to see some of that trash! I tidid my LOTR Fanfic folder recently and found a couple of disasterous beginnings ;-) Next thing on the agenda *should* be another belated birthday story - this time about Halbarad and Aragorn. I have two chunks of it written - neither of which will go together ;-) Some tough decisions needed, I fear.
Harrowcat · 2 January 2005 · Chapter 1: Such Fragile, Mortal Lives
I am glad that this is no longer languishing on your hard drive. What a shame to keep it from us for so long! It is a lovely piece of reflective writing. The ending - showing that the twins have inherited their father's foresight - is fine. I loved it.
Author's reply
Thanks, Harrowcat. I just couldn't get it to finish and then end of school and Christmas got in the way. I'm really pleased that people liked it - I was very nervous about it.
Dreamflower · 2 January 2005 · Chapter 1: Such Fragile, Mortal Lives
A vignette doesn't really need a plot, does it? And yet this one *does*--two brothers have quarreled over a third, and find resolution. That's plenty of plot. I love the way you have drawn the differences and similarities of the twins. However much they may look alike you have given them distinct personalities, and though Estel does not make a personal appearance, you also draw him well, and show the impact his mortal life had on the immortal lives of his brothers. Well done, I'd say.
Author's reply
Thanks, Dreamflower! I guess I'm just slightly paranoid about my lack of 'plot'. Really, I don't like reading great lumps of plot - I like people! I was tempted to add Aragorn to the list of characters ;-)
Bodkin · 2 January 2005 · Chapter 1: Such Fragile, Mortal Lives
It is lovely wallow - and it needs no other ending, because there is no ending. Their fear for him will ride with them here and throughout the years - but they will have to let Estel follow his own path now and beyond the circles of the world.
Author's reply
Gosh, that's a nice way to put it! Thanks, Bodkin.
Jay of Lasgalen · 2 January 2005 · Chapter 1: Such Fragile, Mortal Lives
This is very nice, far too good to languish on a hard drive! I like the relationship between the twins, their closeness and the pain they feel on arguing. Elladan's misgivings are well-founded - to them, he is so very young, and his father died when with them :( As for the ending, perhaps something like this: 'Elrohir has promised this. We will meet Estel's destiny together.' Jay
Author's reply
Thanks, Jay. It's funny - I've realised that I can only write the twins if I can add some Aragorn or Arathorn. Yeah, in the argument I'd be with Elladan ;-) I'll think about your suggestion for the ending - thank you!