daw the minstrel
· 5 October 2004
· Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species
Good heavens, what place to end it!
The death of the other warrior must have been terrifying for Elladan. I liked the sudden arrival of Legolas -- straight from patrol but having to report to his father. It gave a sense of life going on elsewhere that was strange in the midst of Elrohir's suffering.
Author's reply
Nólimon's death really brought it home to Elladan that his brother could also die. And yet while he concentrates on Elrohir, life goes on around him. As you say, it's a strange feeling.
Bodkin
· 5 October 2004
· Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species
No! Elrohir! You can't do that. Elladan needs you - you have to go back! Tell Namo to leave you alone.
Elladan - use your bond with him. He won't consent to go if he remembers what it will do to you!
Stinking spiders. Don't like them. Don't like any creepy crawlies much. Except ladybirds. They're all right. And butterflies. Oh all right then, I suppose you have to have creepy crawlies.
Author's reply
I'm very glad we don't have poisonous spiders in the UK - the big ones that come in from the garden in damp autumns (like now!) are bad enough :(
Poor Elrohir. Poor Elladan. This is not good.
ettalie
· 2 October 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
"their bite is nearly always fatal"...I'm hanging on to that "nearly always".
Author's reply
Yes - hold to that thought. And 'a few have survived'. I'm not promising anything, though - the next chapter is not looking good for either of the twins. :-(
Thanks for reviewing!
Bodkin
· 1 October 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
I was doing some very sad sums the other day, trying to work out the twins ancestry - they truly are related to everybody! And descended from most of them. This was partly because of the bit of me that says, every time they are called half-elven - 'Oh no they're not. If Elrond is half-elven and Celebrian is wholly elven, then the children are three quarters-elven.' I am perfectly willing to accept having got lost on the ancestry, because it is . . complicated, but I think that they are more Sindar (about 40%)than Noldor (about 9%)- and only 19% human. The rest being made up of Teleri, Vanya and Maia. But hey - brought up Noldor, away from trees.
Author's reply
Don't worry, Bodkin - I've done the same calculations. I agree - the twins are NOT half elven, they are at least three-quarters elf. By my own calculations, Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen have Sindar, Noldor, Numenorean and Maiar blood (Arwen admits they are 'mongrels' in one story) and are also 'kin to every elven realm in Arda, and several realms of men' (Thranduil then says it is as well they are not overly ambitious - for obvious reasons!)
It is sad, but I find their mixed ancestry very interesting!
Nilmandra
· 1 October 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
Jay! I can't believe you hurt Elrohir again!
I hate the spiders - have you ever seen Ted Nasmith's drawing of them? They are truly creepy. Good Octobor story for Halloween.
Author's reply
I know - poor Elrohir. I just can't help torturing him, and I like to torment Elladan with worry for him.
I've seen those drawings - they do look horrible. I'm not sure what sort of spider the Gorliante resemble, or even how big they are - how big is 'giant?'
French Pony
· 1 October 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
Oh, very well done. I like that the twins are taking care when riding in an unfamiliar environment. I like their surprise at seeing the two Wood-elves drop from nowhere -- they are of a different kind of Elf, and it really shows here. I like that the twins need an explanation of what the spiders do; they can't know everything about the dangers of Mirkwood, after all, and I thought that the diagnosis and prognosis for Nólimon: “The poison causes intense pain. Agonising pain. There is usually a very high fever, hallucinations and convulsions. Death – death comes as a mercy. If you have drugs that will ease his pain, or make him oblivious, that will be the best you can do.” was very well done. Short, to the point, and it acknowledges that there are things even Elvish medicine can't do.
The ending was also very well done. Everyone's reactions to the event seemed natural and unforced, especially Elladan's disbelieving repetition of "It bit you." And you used one of my favorite writing tricks: you described physical sensation clearly and graphically as a metaphor for mental confusion. I always like that. It really puts the reader in the character's skin without drowning in waves of angst.
Author's reply
The twins are mostly Noldor, and they can still be startled at a demonstration of a wood-elf's affinity with trees. They have strong links to their own realm (as Elrohir proved with the Bruinen), but are less familiar with Mirkwood - or Lasgalen!
Thanks to Amandil's graphic description, we (and the twins) all know what's in store for poor Elrohir - had Amandil known, he would have watered it down.
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and thank for the final comments - I'm glad it worked.
DeepBlueSomething
· 1 October 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
Yikes! You really should put some sort of medical warning on that cliffie! That was a bad one! Anyway, I'm really glad you decided to write this. The implications of that drabble were just too much to ignore. I look forward to the massive angst in the future of this story. Please update soon.
Author's reply
You already know from the drabble that things aren't good for Elrohir. It unleashed so many ideas I had to write it - and I used your suggestion that he saved Elladan, so there will be much guilt and angst ahead. But you knew that anyway.
Bodkin
· 30 September 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
Oh no - Elrohir has been bitten saving his brother. What a build up of tension. The feeling of unease and anxiety. And enough explanation of those wretched spiders to get us really worried. That bit of foresight was a trick - we are both tending him, indeed. Just to make us think that neither of the twins is damaged this time - and then, poor Elrohir!
More - more soon.
Author's reply
Yes - poor Elrohir, he and Elladan both know now just what's in store for him. Poor Elladan - he's going to be feeling guilty now for not preventing this. Poor Nolimon - what are the chances of both of them surviving, do you think?
daw the minstrel
· 30 September 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
Good heavens. That was scary. Did you make that up about the two kinds of spiders, Jay, or is that canon somewhere?
Author's reply
I made it up. The canon spiders in The Hobbit simply made the dwarves sick and dizzy, so I needed something much more deadly - poor Elrohir, poor Nolimon! :(
I'm glad it's scary!
lwarren
· 30 September 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
GASP! Another EEEEEVVVIIILLLL cliffhanger! OK, I am of the firm belief that certain authors...who shall remain nameless...have a conspiracy going to render their readers mindless!!!! (well...this reader, anyway!) Well done, Jay! Oh, VERY well done! :-):-):-)
Seriously, this was one extremely tense opening chapter! Your use of Elladan's somewhat uncertain gift of foresight was inspired...there's nothing like knowing that you know that you know that you know something bad is going to happen...and not being at all sure just what or when it will take place! Nasssssty spideressss! All that scuttling and clicking and hissing (aren't those fun words?) just make them more creepy and gross! Ughhhhh! Yuckkkk! Of course, Elrohir would have to get bitten by one "bigger" than all the rest...more venom for your bite, huh?
I had read your drabble earlier, and I am so glad you decided to extend the story...even if I can't breathe now! (I know he's gonna be ok...I mean, he and Elladan act as messengers for their father in TTT; but still, to see him fall after hearing the other elf describe the hopelessness of one of these bites is pretty horrific! Best update soon, precioussssss...or we'll send HER...yesssss, preciousssss, she could do it!...(you know it's bad when Stinker and his spidey-girl creep in....) *clears throat noisily* Great job, Jay! :-)
linda
Author's reply
I'm glad you found this tense. I wanted to gradually build up the darkness and foreboding they both sensed, especially Elladan. He's tense, and rather touchy at the moment. And he's going to blame himself.
I hate spiders with a passion, so it was easy to make them sound horrible. And yes, the bigger they are, the more dangerous they are :(
I half wish I'd never written that drabble - now I've been bitten by my own plot bunny (better than a spider, though).
Dot
· 30 September 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
Now, what did these two ever do to you to deserve all that you put them through?? ;-)
This story looks set to be deliciously angsty. I really liked your descriptions of the forest. It’s still beautiful but there’s a definite sense of foreboding. I suppose as elflings they wouldn’t have been so aware of the Shadow anyway but it’s still sad that a place where they played now seems so threatening.
What a terrible burden these premonitions must be for Elladan to bear. Imagine knowing enough of the future to be aware that something terrible will happen but yet not quite enough to prevent it.
Wow, those wood-elves *are* silent! LOL at them enjoying the tale of Elrohir and the river. Elrohir’s right, poor Elladan’s nerves must have been completely on edge to snap at them.
The whole spider battle… ick. ICK. I hate even tiny ones so the thought of these… *shudder*
And they’re the most dangerous spiders?? Oh God. I have a very bad feeling about poor Nólimon.
I just knew Elrohir was going to be bitten and still my heart was racing as I read. Did you HAVE to leave it there?!! Poor Elrohir. Oh, and poor Elladan. They’re both in for a painful time, be it physical or emotional. I’m worried :-(
Author's reply
What did they do to deserve this? They like it really - all those hugs and cuddles from sympathetic readers ...
When they were elflings the forest was peaceful - the shadow didn't rise 'til later. But poor Elladan can't remember those times with fun at the moment - he remembers what happened to Elrohir, and he's so tense it makes him touchy. It's not going to get better any time soon, especially now they know what's in store. :(
I hate spiders. I had to invent two species, as we know the ones in The Hobbit didn't do much harm to the dwarves. I needed deadly ones. :( :(
LKK
· 30 September 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
oh great. now I'm gonna have spider-infested nightmares. >:(
I was wrong about your double drabble. I had guessed it was Elladan who was ill and Elrohir keeping watch.
Elladan's gift of foresight truly does seem more like a curse for him than a gift. (I remember his fears from the human plague story.) Now, it seems to have let him down completely by not providing any warning at all about Elrohir.
The wood elf said essentially said that there is no cure for the spider's bite. Perhaps Elrohir's knowledge of healing is sufficiently different from the wood elves' that between the two a cure can be discovered?
A very strong opening chapter, Jay.
Author's reply
Sorry about the nightmares - I don't like spiders either. I've written about Elrohir watching over his brother (in the plague story you mention), so this had to be the other way around. It was helpful of the wood elf (Amandil) to explain exactly what was going to happen - now both twins know what's in store for them!
Poor Elladan - he knew something was wrong, but could not tell what. He knows enough to be worried, but not enough to be able to do anything. :-(
Lianna
· 30 September 2004
· Chapter 1: Premonitions
Funny, but somehow I thought it was Legolas who got bitten by a spider. Perhaps that was in someone else's fanfiction universe.
In any event, please don't keep us hanging from this cliff for long.
Oh, well, if Legolas is leading patrols, at least we know that he must have eventually recovered from the broken leg that you inflicted upon him in your other story. And if Elrohir has survived long enough to find himself in his current perilous situation, presumably his father didn't kill him for going on that unauthorized troll hunt with Legolas in your other, other story.
Your faithful readers are dying to know what happens in all of these situations.
Author's reply
I have mentioned in other stories that Legolas was bitten by a spider, but I haven't written that yet. It was some time ago, though, (before The Search, which is set TA 1636) so he clearly survived. The broken leg and the two furious fathers are in the dim and distant past now (they were elflings then, and are now nearly 2000 years old). Updates are underway.