Grey Wonderer
· 16 January 2005
· Chapter 70: Trial by Law
I found Pippin's regret at knowing the man would meet his death very well done. You could feel that he was hardened by what might have happened to the children if they had not been rescued in time, but you could also feel that he was not ready to have this man hang. I was glad that he got the chance to voice his opinion, though I am quite sure that even if he were not offered such a chance, being Pippin, he would have offered it anyway. Interesting how the prisoner is his own defense in this and has no one to plead his case, though others were offered the chance to do so.
Author's reply
I almost feel sorry for the prisoner, though he was a bad man, fully knowing what his partner intended, even as he tried to dismiss it.
Belated thanks for your review! Would you believe that I didn't see it before today?
Once in awhile SoA doesn't send me reviews, or else my ISP bounces them, or something. Happened just recently with "Healer's Tale", as a matter of fact.
Connie B.
· 16 January 2005
· Chapter 72: Epilogue
That was a sweet ending. I was kind of surprised that Pippin never did see jack again.
Will's poor wife probably never did figure out what exactly happened that day.:)
This was a very nice story. I look forward to seeing where your new one is going, and I would love to see updates to your Thain story.
Thanks again.
Connie B.
Author's reply
You're welcome! Modified slightly to reflect a slightly later meeting between Jack, Will, and Pippin (and possibly Elessar, though they'd keep things quiet, not wanting to arouse speculation about Men getting into the Shire and getting away with it.)
Thanks!
Dreamflower
· 15 January 2005
· Chapter 71: Of Endings and Beginnings
Very well done! And this is one ruffian who did not deserve a reprieve, even though I'm sure hobbits would have given him one anyway. I'm glad Pippin knew better than to try. I like that you make note of the fact that the hanging was not a public spectacle, but a grim affair.
Fireworks for The Birthday! And little Bilbo! You know, for some reason that's one of Sam's and Rose's young ones that I tend to forget. How lovely that he was born on The Birthday!
Loose ends: well, aside from Jack and the boys, how about Denny's lass? And I'd like to see a bit more of Elladan and Elrohir before everyone breaks up--not necessarily a "loose end" as much as they played an important part, and deserve to be in the denouement. Uh, what are they going to do about the temptations the Thain's gold is posing to renegade men? I know the hanging is meant as a deterrent, but perhaps a little something more? Increased patrols or something...
I hate to see this one come to an end. I always enjoy stories that let Aragorn interact with the hobbits Fourth Age. I could probably come up with some more stuff just to get you to keep going, LOL!
And Denny is remaining in the North, hmm? Neat!
Author's reply
Well, Denny is remaining in the North at least until the King comes back. He might be hoping to regain his strength and health enough to rejoin the elite bodyguard, and yet he might be hoping to stay in the North with that lass. Hmm.
Ummm, I'd assume increased patrols, though it probably isn't necessary to say as much. If you look at "Where the Merlin Cries" there are regular patrols of King's Men on the borders of the Shire, that the kidnapping ruffians have to evade.
If you do come up with more stuff, do let me know! I have some irons in the fire but am not sure what will come up after they've been dealt with. (And you write satisfying Fourth Age stuff yourself! Take a bow!)
I wrote another draft today while someone else had the computer, a sort of sequel to "Runaway". My editor friend is going over "Thain" again to come up with a list of suggestions to get started on that story again. And there's young Rosemary and Ferdi's story still bubbling away on the back burner. And then there's Woodruff's story, which seems to be taking shape. And just so many hours in the day...
Mysterious Jedi
· 15 January 2005
· Chapter 71: Of Endings and Beginnings
I thought Tolman was the only one sharing Frodo's birthday (hate to be nitpicky, but At the End of his Rope was one of my favs). This is excellent! I think you're writing is starting to rub off on me, I've been reading it so much, though stuff I write is much shorter and not nearly so profoundly interesting.
Author's reply
Yes, I'd thought of Tolman's birth and made a note that some revising might be needed in "Rope", but I certainly appreciate your reminder, for it would have been an easy detail to overlook!
Thank you for the encouraging words. Hope to see you around in other stories!
(And will be looking for yours, when the "reading urge" hits.)
Connie B.
· 15 January 2005
· Chapter 71: Of Endings and Beginnings
That was hard to read; the hanging part at least. That was an interesting cover story Aragorn and Pippin had for their absence.
The fireworks were a nice touch. So was little Bilbo being born on the same date and in the same room as his namesake.
No loose ends other than Jack, and his possible reward, come to mind.
Thanks for a great story.
Connie B.
Author's reply
You're welcome. I hesitated to write the hanging; it was labelled "background" and almost excised from the chapter (leaving a bare mention) but I thought it important to show Pippin's fortitude and his dedication to do his duty, no matter how painful or distressing or distasteful.
Glad to hear you didn't notice any loose ends. Jack and his possible reward will be dealt with in the Epilogue, coming next if all goes well.
Thanks for the faithful reviews. You have heartened me when the dark has descended, quite heavily in recent times, and I do appreciate your taking the time to write even in the midst of your own dark times.
Hope your friend is doing much, *much* better. Will keep her in our prayers.
Hai Took
· 14 January 2005
· Chapter 70: Trial by Law
I certainly missed a lot over the last couple of weeks! The whole kidnapping was terrible! Tom ended up with the right hobbit lad he just didn't know truly which was the right one. To think the "extra" child would have been the one he needed and most likely the one dropped in the River!
Denny's whol part in this was wonderful! He did such a good job protecting the hobbits even though he couldn't ultimately keep the little ones from being taken. So brave! I'm glad you didn't keep it so that he died. That would have been very sad. I'm glad that he and Pippin seemed to keep each other company so well there in the House of Healing. Kept each other out of trouble to an extent as well ;)
Sam did well! I love that though he was hurt he sprang forward to do what was needed. Interferred enough that perhaps he kept Denny from being taken out much sooner. Wonderful how it all worked out that no one was permanently damaged.
Oh dear, is Jack really gone? I mean we haven't heard about his body being found, right? I was glad he was there for surely the little ones wouldn't have been returned safely without his intervention but he still has to boys of his own to look after! Surely you aren't leaving that as a loose end? Now Will and Rob are alone, hopefully we will be finding out about them soon?
Poor Pippin-lad, I'm sorry he was so frightened of the big folk but I'm so happy he was able to get over it. Arwen I'm sure would be a calming influence in that regaurd.
I'm glad Hilly didn't refuse the Queen's gift. For a moment I thought he wouldn't but thank goodness he did. I'm sure that having the chance to live with his Posey and for her to be without pain was too much for him to resist.
My Pippin certainly did a job about keeping things to himself and damaging his health! His logic was frightening in the way he thought he was going to be spending the remainder of his life! Elessar is truly very wise.
I'm sure there is more that I had wanted to comment on but just didn't quite remember at this time. This wasn't the end was it? I think you said in the notes that that time hadn't quite come yet. So until it does: looking forward to more! ;)
Author's reply
O my! I don't think I ever saw this lovely review, with all of your thoughtful comments!
So pardon the terribly long delay between your review and my reply.
Thankfully, most of your questions were undoubtedly answered in the Epilogue to this story.
And we haven't seen the last of Jack. He's about to pop up in one of the current WIPs that I'm posting here at SoA. (Although much earlier on the timeline, so perhaps I ought to say you haven't seen the "first" of Jack, rather than the last!)
Belated thanks for taking the time to comment.
Grey Wonderer
· 13 January 2005
· Chapter 99999: Footnotes and Cross-references
You are one of the most organized writers in all of Fan Fiction. I think that by posting this you have answered a great many questions for readers who might not have read the other fictions that precede ths one and the ones that come after it in your time-frame. I wish everyone did this. Everything hooks together so nicely this way! I also like the reference links. I plan to visit those over the weekend. I also enjoyed your description of Shire Justice. Everything makes perfect sense. I am looking forward to the rest of this one and may just have to re-read "At The End of His Rope". I believe that I read that one quite some time ago and this one makes me want to read it again.
Author's reply
Just wish I could be so organised in other areas! (Homekeeping, for example)
Glad to get the feedback on the justice making sense. A lot of brainstorming went into it. Helps to be related to lawyers, though of course they're horrified by the traditional "guilty until proved innocent" attitude.
Well, if you do re-read "Rope" drop me a line here and there to let me know you were there. It's always nice to hear that someone has visited a story (as you undoubtedly know).
Thanks!
FantasyFan
· 13 January 2005
· Chapter 99999: Footnotes and Cross-references
When I saw that these notes are published (again) I thought for a moment you were done with the story. But there are a few loose ends still to tie up - What about Jack being the biggest one in my mind. Did the king's men make an attempt to find him? Did he hide outside the hall during the judgement of the ruffian, or has he bolted? He was, at least before the incident at the falls, planning to lay low during the hobbits' visit and stay in the town afterward. Has being recognized changed his mind? Where will his band wander to next?
I had almost forgotten about the ruffian myself, though I expect Pippin could not, as his vacation wore on and he watched his family around him. The king has worked it out quite cleverly to take Pippin back for the trial, but how will it be explained to the hobbits?
Author's reply
When you see the chapter title "Epilogue" you'll know the story is at an end. It is not the next chapter to be posted (as of this reply) but perhaps the one after that. Jack's loose end will be tied up in the Epilogue.
How the trial will be explained to the hobbits is a part of the next chapter to be posted after "Trial by Law".
Thanks! I certainly appreciate it when you pose questions, as sometimes you remind me of things I'd forgotten and still need to take care of! (Though thankfully today I see from the draft that your questions posed in this particular review are pretty much covered.)
The hamster is still quite the hit around here. What a personality the little critter has!
Author Reply: p.s. Oddly the hamster is losing all the hair on her belly. We are worried but don't have a clue what to do.
A vet bill would be several times the cost of a new hamster. Hope that doesn't sound callous. It's a reality of life. But try to explain that to a little one.
Connie B.
· 13 January 2005
· Chapter 70: Trial by Law
Pippin is even more compassionate than he realizes. To have nearly lost his only son to a plot that this man was a part of and still want mercy shown to the criminal is amazing. I know my parental instincts would not let me be so generous. I'd want to see the so-and-so hanged. Shame on me, but I admit that I'm only human. Hobbits really are more evolved socially than we are, whether we wnat to admit it or not.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
I'm not sure I could be so compassionate as Pippin, myself. But then he is a hobbit, and related to Frodo, whom Bilbo considered one of the best.
The ruffian was a pitiable figure, not necessarily evil in himself, but weak, and fallen under the influence of evil companions. And thus, condemned. Makes me shudder.
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Harrowcat
· 13 January 2005
· Chapter 70: Trial by Law
This chapter took me by surprise - I had forgotten the ruffian. I love the way that you have Pippin feeling empathy for him. It is one of the strength's of the way Gollum is portrayed in the movie-verse. 'There, but for the grace...go I'. Who knows what we might do if time or circumstances were different. You are going to resolve the 'Jack and the mithril flask conundrum' soon aren't you?
Author's reply
Well, Jack's story, at least, will be resolved in the Epilogue, just a couple of chapters away, I think.
Thanks!
Bodkin
· 13 January 2005
· Chapter 70: Trial by Law
Painful - but inevitable, as Pippin knows. Slight sense that his protest was on principle, rather than because he feels Bill merits mercy. But on the information provided, it couldn't happen to a nicer bloke. Unless it was Tom.
Author's reply
Couldn't happen to a nicer guy... interesting turn of phrase.
Thanks!
Bodkin
· 13 January 2005
· Chapter 69: Decision Made
Click the heels of your ruby slippers - 'there's no place like home; there's no place like home!'
True, really. It's one think going to Gondor once Diamond's gone and Farry is grown-up, but it would be like exile to Pippin now. He couldn't be happy dragging them with him and he couldn't be happy leaving them behind. Better to take his chance in the Shire. Though spending the winter living above ground might be better for him. I can't help but feel that smials must be damp.
I liked seeing Arwen bully Denethor so pleasantly.
'‘I feel half-clad,’ Denethor grumbled.
‘Then put this on,’ Bergil said, thrusting surcoat at him. ‘At least you’ll be three-quarters clad.'
Great lines. It's the Bergil and Denny Show.
Anyway, Pippin's got to provide the Shire with an additional collection of Tooklets.
Author's reply
The "Bergil and Denny" show. *snork* It's enough to make me want to write more. "The Adventures of Bergil and Denny". Hmm, got a ring to it. After all, Denny's like a cat--he must have nine lives. He's starting on at least his second (if not his third--remembering that he got a battlefield promotion to the King's bodyguard, it must have been a harrowing experience at best), considering he was not supposed to survive being spitted during the picnic.
Thanks!
Grey Wonderer
· 12 January 2005
· Chapter 69: Decision Made
I like Pippin's reasoning on this and even if I didn't know what I do, I would still think he was right. Gondor is a very nice place to visit now that there is a King, but I don't think Pippin would enjoy living there without his family and away from Merry and Sam. I hope Aragorn takes this as well as Merry did. I wonder if he might already suspect Pippin's answer. I found the fact that Pippin considered leaving the Shire as punishment for his crime. So, if Aragorn was listening then I am sure that he knows that Pippin could not be happy in Gondor.
Author's reply
Too true. Merry might press Pippin hard to move to Gondor, knowing that he (Merry) was likely to visit with relative frequency, but Diamond has no such comfort.
I suspect Elessar realised Pippin's attitude during the "trial", that "Gondor" without Diamond and Farry meant a longer life (perhaps) that was not worth the living, in Pippin's eyes.
Thanks!
p.s. enjoying your 12Days story. Very clever!
Grey Wonderer
· 12 January 2005
· Chapter 68: Trial by Conscience
Poor Pippin! Now I only hope that Aragorn and Arwen are able to convince him that he doesn't deserve to hang. I sensed that Merry knew that Aragorn would not punich Pippin, but I do think that Diamond got caught up in it all with her grief over possibly losing Pippin and if not for Merry, might have charged forth. I thought Hilly's objections showed his loyality to the Thain and his friendship for Pippin very well. He was nearly as good at making excuses in this issue as Pippin would have been.
Dreamflower
· 12 January 2005
· Chapter 69: Decision Made
I knew that Pippin was going to make this choice, and I even guessed some of the reasons, but it had not occurred to me about little Farry, and his fear of his son growing up away from the Shire and exposed to the customs and foibles of Men.
Excellent, and very like Pippin!
It's a shame they can't know that everything is going to be all right after all.
And no, I don't find this a bit anti-climatic. You still have some loose ends to tie up. It's no more anti-climatic than everything that happened in LotR after the Ring was destroyed.
Author's reply
Thanks! O and if you've noticed that I leave any loose ends hanging after the last chapter is posted ("Epilogue") do be sure to let me know. In such a long story it is all too possible to drop a thread or three.
Connie B
· 12 January 2005
· Chapter 69: Decision Made
Well, at least Pippin seems to be over attack of guilt. It's hard to hear him say that he's not going to Gondor, but I know it's the right choice. He will eventually be fine; they just don't know that yet.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
It is hard to leave them hanging, for certain. But the Epilogue will help, a little, being set ten years or so in the future, after Pippin's healing but well before Hilly goes to Sea. Hopefully that will bring a sense of closure and comfort.
Thanks!
harrowcat
· 12 January 2005
· Chapter 69: Decision Made
The link you asked for to the Trial of Frodo Baggins is Gentle Hobbit on the Stories of Arda site - good reading but don't let it get in the way of updating quickly pleese.
Author's reply
Thanks! Will probably read it after I post the Epilogue to this story, a couple of chapters hence. I'll stretch and take a break and do a bit of reading before settling down to writing again, I think. This story has been a long haul!
Hope to "see" you in future!
Larner
· 12 January 2005
· Chapter 57: Thoughtful Conversation
Need to bathe and leave this, but I am so enjoying the story. It is well written and enchanting.
Author's reply
Bathing is one of those necessities of life. And yet, a luxury as well. Every time I turn on the hot water I give thanks. What a wonder it is--the turn of a tap and water streams out, steaming. No fire to build, no buckets to haul...
Glad to hear you're still with us. It's an awfully long story! *g*
Larner
· 12 January 2005
· Chapter 56: Considering Choices
Yes, I see the grief. Very evocative. And I like how it is edited.
Dreamflower
· 11 January 2005
· Chapter 68: Trial by Conscience
Tooks! The stubbornest most uncompromising hobbits in the Shire! Pippin has a great deal of Frodo's attitude towards himself--judging himself far more harshly than he would anyone else in the same situation. Just as Frodo blamed himself for Gollum's death, even though he never even lay a hand on him after the creature had taken back the Ring (unlike movie-verse) Pippin is blaming himself for not being a mind-reader, and judging the situation according to the evidence of his own eyes.
Good for the King! Can you imagine how *Denethor* (not yours, the Steward) would have dealt with this? ("I agree, halfling! Take him off and see it done!")
Author's reply
Yikes! I can only imagine Denethor... back when I was writing Beregond's and Bergil's stories I imagined him taking a sword in his own hand to strike Beregond dead in payment for his "crimes", in the cold light of morning, had the steward taken Gandalf's hand instead of the torch the night before.
Funny how Pippin alternates between blindness and wisdom. He shouldn't be so quick to judge, in future, but he is. Very like the rest of us.
As an author yourself, could you let me know if the next chapter (or few chapters, not sure how the draft will break out) is anticlimatic? I'm including the material which feels like "background" to me, because it is mostly "comfort" to follow the "hurt", but in the original plan the next chapter after this was the Epilogue, set about ten years later.
Thanks!
Dreamflower
· 11 January 2005
· Chapter 67: Before the Face of the King
And finally we see the source of Pippin's guilt. One of the things that I have thought about was that during the War of the Ring, the only creatures Pippin slew were "black-blooded", that is to say Orcs, a troll, and other evil beings of Morgoth's Brood. In the Scouring of the Shire, we are told that Merry killed a ruffian, but not that Pippin did. I think that if he ever had to kill a person with "red blood", he would surely suffer a great deal of guilt.
He still seems to worry about "tainting" the Shire with "Men's ideas"; I'm sure that all that is just eating him up.
It's a good thing his King is a healer. Pippin needs the Middle-earth equivalent of a shrink to help him deal with all this.
Author's reply
Good point about "black blood" and "red blood" and one I was thinking about when originally writing the draft.
I think the worry about "tainting" the Shire is something that stays with him, and keeps repeating as a theme: in "Runaway", when he and Merry are discussing their rush to judgment, and in "At the End of His Rope" when he is cautious about allowing Men into the Shire, and presses Elessar to keep to the schedule for withdrawing Men once the emergency is over. He doesn't mind Men like Strider and Bergil entering the Shire, but he understands the principle of the camel's nose, I think.
Good thing Aragorn's lived so long and seen so much--I'm sure he can bring a wealth of understanding to his relationship with Pippin. Thanks!
Dreamflower
· 11 January 2005
· Chapter 66: The Eyes of the Queen
I love this image of the Queen and Rose sitting around beading with the children. Who knew Arwen was a crafter? I mean, I knew she liked needlework, but this is so cute!
And the jewel she gives Hilly? It doesn't sound the same as the one she gave Frodo, does it? This will give Posey almost a natural life span! So generous of her!
I'm *really* loving your Arwen!
Author's reply
It's a little different from the one she gave Frodo. The stone is smaller, and instead of a white jewel, it's an elfstone - not one of the large, famed Elfstones but a small green stone, an emerald or something like that, perhaps?
Losing their daughter would have been devastating for both Arwen and Elessar. She has seen into Hilly's and Posey's hearts, has seen the pain of losing their only child indelibly etched there, and knows how frighteningly close she and her beloved came themselves to such a fate - but for Hilly's courage and quick thinking. No reward, no matter how grand, could be too much, at least to Arwen's and Elessar's way of thinking, and yet they had to find a gift "small" enough that Hilly would not refuse it out of Tookish pride. And the giving had to be carefully done. I don't think Hilly would have accepted the gift from Elessar. Sigh. Tooks. Indeed.
Sometimes I wonder if, since she could not be completely healed of her hurts from the Orc encounter, Arwen's mother might have worn that necklace to sustain her before she departed over the Sea... especially since the previous "heirloom of our house" was her father's flask. Just musing in an idle moment while revisiting this story.
Thanks!
Dreamflower
· 11 January 2005
· Chapter 65: Early Morning Cheer
I really loved the idea of Pippin running around in his nightshirt! LOL!
Dreamflower
· 11 January 2005
· Chapter 60: Over the River and Through the Wood
Finally getting to catch up on some of my reviewing!
*whoosh* This was an exciting rescue! I love the way you make the details a part of the action. When something like this is going on in a fic, it is sometimes hard for the author to keep what's happening straight for the reader, but you never miss a beat!
Author's reply
It's always nice to hear from one of my favourite authors!
Thanks!
Connie B.
· 11 January 2005
· Chapter 68: Trial by Conscience
Uh, and I thought I could be hard on myself. I can't hold a candle to Pippin. This chapter definitely left me with misty eyes. I never thought that that was the guilt Pippin was feeling.
Let us know if you make changes to this chapter.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Just a few tweaks, thus far, and smoothing out rough spots, which will probably continue.
The major change that editor-friend and I have been discussing is whether or not Samwise was in this scene.
As one of the Travellers, he might be included, but taken in the light of an intimate family problem, it's more likely that he acted as advisor, outside the scene, sparing Pippin's sensibilities by not being a presence at the hearing. Diffidence, is that what you call it?
Thanks.