Connie B.
· 7 October 2004
· Chapter 19: A Matter of Business
I was really liking this chapter until that last paragraph.
Pippin was certainly using his reputation to the best of his ability.
Hope things are going okay for you. Sorry I'm so slow on this review.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Yes, that last paragraph was almost an afterthought, but it really fit better there than at the start of the next chapter, where it originally stood.
I am hanging in there, for the most part, thanks. Writing is my great comfort and stress reliever, and I haven't been able to in a couple of weeks. Funny, how stress itself dries up the very thing that (for me) best relieves stress. I surely hope the Muse returns soon.
Thank you for taking the time to review.
Bodkin
· 7 October 2004
· Chapter 20: Clearing the Air
Hurray! Three cheers for Pippin. (If it works.) A hobbit with a heart. Jack the lad saved Hilly and looked after Diamond and Farry, so Pippin will save him and look after the lads.
I have never been convinced that gibbets and dangling corpses have much of an effect as a measure of intimidation, because those forced to view them soon become inured to the spectacle. And they are certainly a Health Hazard. I should think the majority of hobbits would be totally horrified to know that the peaceful Shire was ringed with the hanged corpses of Men. (Although some would cheer - probably those who have absolutely no idea of the reality of it. Note that Ferdi, who knows exactly what it means, loathes the idea, even though he is not at all partial to Men.)
Very sneaky, having Pippin with the power to over-rule the Edict when he chooses. And very sensible, too. (Is this before the sickness one? When the guards entered the Shire? I lose track. I was just thinking that this seems the sort of sensible addition to the Edict that might happen when they realised that sometimes it is really handy for a few Men to be able to go into the Shire.)
Aargh! I'm wittering on far too much. Good chapter - increases my liking for Pippin, who (blasphemy) I can find a bit irritating at times.
Author's reply
Thanks for reviewing! This is some years before the epidemic.
I'm glad to have raised Pippin in your estimation. He can be a bit irritating at times, but then nobody's perfect! (Not even if fanfic readers and writers want them to be!) I much prefer a sensibly flawed character, myself. It leaves so much scope for the imagination.
Very insightful comments.
Anso the Hobbit
· 7 October 2004
· Chapter 19: A Matter of Business
Oh, no! I had forgot that Ferdi dreamed of thing that came true. How is he going to take this? Are the little boy´s killed too? How will Pip react. Cliffhanger indeed! :)
Author's reply
Well you're brave! But since the next chapter is posted, by the time I got back to reply, you know how Ferdi reacted... and Pippin.
There'll be more Merry soon. Depending on how the next few chapters "break out", they'll be going to the Bridge two or three chapters from now, I think.
Thanks!
Bodkin
· 7 October 2004
· Chapter 19: A Matter of Business
These chapters are coming so quickly that I can't keep up! It's just as well, though, because they are making me far too anxious. Just as you've got me convinced that Diamond has got Pippin in on what has happened and he is accepting the disappearance of Jack and his lads, you have to bring back the fear that they are about to be hanged!
I'm not surprised that Ferdi is having trouble breathing - so am I.
Author's reply
Sorry! Have been able to add a chapter a day, since the story is written to the end (long-hand). All I have to do is type the stuff in, without thinking much about it, which is just as well.
Which means that if all goes well and the crick don't rise, you ought to see another chapter some time tomorrow.
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment!
Beruthiel
· 7 October 2004
· Chapter 19: A Matter of Business
Oh no! Please tell me Jack didn't get caught! Didn't Diamond explain things to Pippin? Or maybe she did, but the Rangers haven't heard about it. Oh dear.
You must update soon! 'Tis cruel, precious, very cruel, to leave us poor readers in suspense here.
They can see the Brandywine from where they are? I thought Ferdi doesn't see the river until "At the End of His Rope".
Author's reply
Will try to update on the morrow, if I get the time to type the next chapter in. Thursdays can be difficult, but I'll do my best. Debated posting this chapter tonight or waiting until Monday--on weekends there's pretty fierce competition for the computer around here... Ended up posting it, not wanting to wait until Monday. Sorry for the cliffhanger. At least I can promise some resolution in the next chapter. Knowing that I left the story at a difficult spot is a great motivator to add another chapter as soon as possible.
Is it any consolation that I've decided to keep the "Bridge" chapters in this story?
To answer your comment, Ferdi doesn't see the Brandywine up close until "Rope". I'll have to go back and check that story to make sure (for continuity's sake), but when I was plotting out the exact meeting point with the Rangers on the map I noticed that they might conceivably come within a mile or two of the River, at least far enough away that it wouldn't look much more like a stream to Ferdi, seen from the distant hilltop, so that he could still be shocked speechless on seeing the River up close, in the later story.
OTOH, if I've specifically stated that he's never laid eyes on the River before, I'm going to have to rewrite something.
Thanks for commenting!
Connie B.
· 6 October 2004
· Chapter 18: Should I Die Before I Wake...
Oh, thank goodness I knew it was a dream. Otherwise, I'd have been scared half to death. Interesting how Ferdi's attitude came back to haunt him in said dream. I think he's changing his mind about these particular ruffians. Maybe he won't be as upset that they got away as I thought he would be at first.
Another good twist in the tale. I have a feeling there's one or two more up your sleeve.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
I really hoped the readers would know immediately that it was a dream. I didn't want to appear to be messing with anybody's mind.
There might be one or two more up my sleeve. Let me know what you think!
And thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I'm going through a rather difficult time at present and really appreciate the encouragement.
Grey Wonderer
· 6 October 2004
· Chapter 17: Fighting for Breath
I have to laugh. Seems Diamond is the strongest one there. Merry and his bad arm, Pippin's lungs, Ferdi down at the camp site and Hilly under the influence of the sleeping draught. Who says that a lass can't take care of herslef if she needs to? Maybe Diamond should be in charge of things.
Author's reply
LOL, Diamond to the rescue! Now there's a thought...
Thanks!
Hai Took
· 5 October 2004
· Chapter 17: Fighting for Breath
Ooh!I hope that they get away! I hope that Jack and boys aren't about to be caught by the sheriffs or the Rangers! I like Healer Fennel all of his comments and grumbling about not being listend to was great! Loved this, "Bracken shrugged. ‘The Bounds go a long way,’ he said. ‘All the way round the Shire, so I hear tell.’" lol, looking forward to more, thank you!
Author's reply
Well, Jack and the boys have a head start, anyhow, and Jack does know the Shire well, so he probably has a few hiding places in mind between the Shirebourn and the Bounds.
It was fun to give Healer Fennel some personality of his own. I nearly confused him with a female healer having a similar name (Fescue) in "StarFire". (At least I hope I've got them straight! almost afraid, now, to go back and look...)
Thanks!
Connie B.
· 5 October 2004
· Chapter 17: Fighting for Breath
Yay, they got away and Diamond, so far, hasn't had to explain a thing to anyone. Hope she never has to.
I had not even thought about the problems all the searching in the night air would cause Pippin. Duh, I feel dim. Of course the stress alone would be enough to affect his health, let alone riding down the middle of a stream in a thick fog.
Thanks.
Looking forward to what comes next.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Diamond hasn't explained anything yet, but I have a feeling that she doesn't keep secrets from her husband. However, there are ways of "telling" and ways, if you catch my drift.
S'okay, don't feel dim. I wrote this in because I remembered a neighbor boy with asthma who wasn't allowed to be outside after dusk because the evening air (damp?) was likely to trigger an attack.
Thanks!
Connie B.
· 5 October 2004
· Chapter 16: The Dark before the Dawn
Whoa! That certainly was a plot-twist if I ever saw one. I hope they get away, even though Diamond will have a lot of 'splainin' to do.
When I read what Farri had to say about hanging all I could thing of was that saying about wisdon from the mouths of babes. If his dad knew he knew these things, he be very upset and sad.
Very interesting chapter.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Just realised I didn't answer any reviews from this chapter. Wouldn't want you to think I don't appreciate your taking the time to comment!
Wisdom from the mouth of babes... we hear it a lot around here.
Thanks.
Anso the Hobbit
· 5 October 2004
· Chapter 16: The Dark before the Dawn
Well, this was an interesting turn of events! Diamond *giving* the gold away! Or maybe she`s tricking them and there´s not much in there in the first place. :)
Author's reply
O no, the bag is heavy with gold. Diamond doesn't do things halfway, and she could have let them slip away empty-handed if she'd wanted. I think she felt some sort of obligation, seeing how they saved Hilly's life, and perhaps hers and Farry's (here they were at the edge of the bog, wet and cold, with night coming on and growing ever colder, and no way to start a fire--the matches were in Hilly's saddlebags...)
Thanks!
Author Reply: p.s. Chapter 19 ends in a cliffhanger, so if you'd like to avoid the angst you might wait until chapter 20 is posted to read. Depends on if you find cliffhangers diverting, or anxiety-producing. (Sometimes such a thing actually diverts me from my own troubles.)
FantasyFan
· 5 October 2004
· Chapter 16: The Dark before the Dawn
The Elvish rope never did want to tie Jack up - it resisted Ferdi's knots from the first. What does that mean, exactly? Things made by the Elves seem to be imbued with some of their powers. Of the rope in FOTR, it is only said that it is long and strong and light (slender and silken and grey-hued), but the boats are described as wayward if mishandled, and Pippin directly questions if the cloaks are magic. The elves reply includes, "we put the thought of all that we love into all that we make," so it is reasonable to assume that all things of their craft carry similar properties. Sam's rope helps Frodo regain his sight in the Emyn Muil, is exactly the right length to get them down the cliff, and of course, comes free when called. How do those properties follow from the thought of all the Elves love? Elves don't automatically love justice and right - there are plenty of examples of that. Their strongest love seems to be of the land, and of protecting it and preserving it unstained. The Elves (and the rope) helped Frodo and Sam because of the overwhelming importance of their mission to middle-earth, and I think in honor of their courage in taking on a task that the wisest and stongest feared and that was clearly beyond them without aid. They helped, because help was needed, and help came to Frodo and Sam from likely and unlikely sources all through their quest. The Valar are not present in overt ways in the Third age, but I am a firm believer that they were vitally concerned with the defeat of Sauron, and that the grace they were able to give Frodo is apparent in dreams and winds and even the slip that took Gollum at the end.
So, can any of this be applied to Jack's rope and the knots that came undone? It has already been said that Jack is a fool, and though he intended no harm to the hobbits, he fully intended to steal from them, rationalizing what he knew was wrong (they have plenty, etc.) and leading innocents into danger for his own gain. Doesn't exactly rank up there with a quest to save middle-earth. I'm not sure he is even actually sorry. Sorry he got caught, certainly, and sorry that his stupidity has doomed Will and Rob, but in other circumstances he might even try again. At heart though, he is not evil. He immediately tried to help Hilly, without thinking of the danger. He would gladly sacrifice himself if he could get the boys off. He reminds me of the Prodigal Son - not fully repenting, but coming to his senses at last and resolving to try to go back. Is that what this story is ultimatly about then - Mercy? His freedom, and the bag of gold, is a gift given without strings, without requiring perfection of intent or reparation. It is grace. Perhaps that is what the rope ultimately recognises.
Author's reply
Nice analysis of the rope. Grace. Yes, that fits. The rope is a creation of grace, and imbued with it. When Jack won it, gambling, its former owner warned him that the rope was a bit tricky, that knots tended to slip, and that he had to be careful in using it. I think he'd seen enough in his travels that he suspected the truth of the matter, and treated the rope accordingly.
I think Jack is impulsive, that sometimes he doesn't think things through, and that he really is sorry about the whole mess. I think he's learned his lesson--worse, he's got to live with the fear of being identified, somehow, as having been in the Shire. What if one of the hobbits who's seen him should recognise him, seeing him outside the Shire, and say something to a guardsman?
Though he would have stolen a bag of gold and rationalised the deed, he might not have valued it, had he got away with his plan, might even have been tempted to gamble a good part of it away. However, in a way he earned the bag of gold that Diamond gave him, with his selfless actions towards her, Farry, and Hilly, and paid a great price as well (in terms of having the fright of his life, and seeing Will and Rob threatened by his foolishness), such that I think, if he escapes, he'll value the gold and use it well.
Thanks for commenting.
Bodkin
· 5 October 2004
· Chapter 16: The Dark before the Dawn
Two chapters! Merry and Ferdi are very clever to effect the capture on their own. I think Jack had lost hope though - and his concern for the boys stops him from taking chances.
I'm glad Diamond woke up and blessed the attempt at escape - and that she gave them gold. (They're pretty hopeless as thieves and villains, which makes them seem much nicer as people.) I hope they get away, but suspect it could be too easy.
I want some of that magic rope. (And think how useful it will be if ever Jack resumes his life as an illusionist.)
Author's reply
LOL, yes! Jack the Magnificent and his elven assistant! (the rope, I mean)
Good insight, about Jack having lost hope, and about his concern for the boys. Ferdi might be a Halfling, but his arrows were still sharp and could have been deadly to Will or Rob (not to mention Jack).
They are pretty hopeless as ruffians. I think they ought to go straight, don't you? Dull, but much safer.
Diamond gave them half the gold she was carrying, which I thought was pretty reasonble. She still has one heavy bag left to care for the widows and gaffers and orphans of Pincup. And more where that came from.
Thanks!
Hai Took
· 5 October 2004
· Chapter 16: The Dark before the Dawn
Oh! Are they truly getting away? Some how I doubt it but I guess I will just have to wait on more! It is a good thing that Ferdi is so tired but I hope this doesn't get him in trouble! Farry being so upset by the prospect of Jack and boys was very touching. I hope everyone is able to come out of this well! Looking forward to more and finding out how thing progress!
Author's reply
Still progressing. This story wrote itself just full of plot twists, without even trying.
I mentioned to someone earlier that Ferdi being tired was a plot point, and now it has been made clear... otherwise Jack and the boys would never have escaped as they did.
Thanks!
Grey Wonderer
· 4 October 2004
· Chapter 16: The Dark before the Dawn
I do like Diamond. Now if only Pippin agrees with what's been done, though I doubt he will at first. Great story, but I am wondering if something will be done for poor Merry's arm.
Author's reply
I'm glad you like Diamond. I try to make her a good match for Pippin. If you're to marry for life (as hobbits do), then you might as well be suited for each other!
In other news, I've decided to keep the "Bridge" chapters in this story, instead of breaking them out into a separate story, so poor Merry has a good chance of something being done for the arm in an upcoming chapter.
Thanks!
Grey Wonderer
· 4 October 2004
· Chapter 15: Taut as a Bowstring
Archers? What archers? Good ole Merry and his General-like skills. Looks like Faramir is very attached to his new friends. It will be interesting to see what Pippin's reaction is to all of this.
Grey Wonderer
· 4 October 2004
· Chapter 14: Fox and Hound
Well, it seems that the rescue has arrived. I love this line:
The ruffians could ask for the moon, in exchange for Diamond and Faramir, and Pippin might well give it to them... When it came to his wife and child, he did not think at all clearly.
That's Pippin alright! On to read more.
FantasyFan
· 4 October 2004
· Chapter 15: Taut as a Bowstring
You have gotten way ahead of me over the weekend. Such a treat to come back to the story and find three new chapters!
Hilly is a very clever hobbit. The ruffians are not woodsmen, but he expects Ferdi will be following eventually, and so he leaves a plain trail for eyes that can see. Had they reallly been in danger, he would have saved them with his cleverness. Unfortunately, he's not quite clever enough to recognize the sleeping-draught trick, but better hobbits than he have been / will be fooled by that one. And he has missed too much of the interaction with Diamond to accept that the ruffians are not really going to hurt them (as well as it not really being in his nature to take that decision on himself). Unfortunately, Jack only has that one trick up his sleeve, and it's not enough.
Speaking of clever, Merry and Ferdi have a trick of their own. There aren't any archers, and I should have known that just having read the previous chapter where they were clearly alone, but it fooled me too! I wonder which of them thought it up? I suppose it helped that Jack was half-expecting to be caught at any moment, so he was ready to accept that he was surrounded. Now I'm ready to see Pippin, when he arrives, be not reasonable about danger to his family.
I'm kind of surprised that Ferdi has given up on Hilly, and expects a farmer to be the other hostage. They have reason to believe Hilly could have survived the bog with help of the branches, and Ferdi might have had a suspicion that the signs he read were being left for them deliberately, especially the writing on the ground. Perhaps he did not want to hope too much for his friend.
This is going to be a shorter story than most of the recent ones, and you've mentioned that the meeting with the king is in the next story. I'm wondering why you don't put them together into one longer story - is it a matter of theme for each individual episode? Not a complaint, mind you, sometimes shorter is better: if you can make the point you are intending in fewer chapters, that is all to the good.
Author's reply
This is going to be a shorter story than most of the recent ones, and you've mentioned that the meeting with the king is in the next story. I'm wondering why you don't put them together into one longer story - is it a matter of theme for each individual episode?
I'm still wrestling with this. The meeting at the Bridge is on the outline and the draft chapter is written, and it does fit with the earlier chapters setting up the meeting. But the story is carefully balanced as it is, complete with epilogue that has nothing to do with the meeting at the Bridge (taking place years later, as a matter of fact). I'm not sure if the Bridge fits, except for the build-up at the beginning of the story... It might be a distraction from the theme of this story, whatever that might be. (Was thinking on this... redemption? not exactly. Cannot put my finger on it. Got any thoughts on the matter?)
The themes of the Bridge meeting are healing, and honouring the past while putting it in its proper place, and looking forward to the future. I suppose it could still fit in with Jack and Will (guess they'd be a sort of detour along the way, sort of like Farry and Goldi's relationship in "Truth" turned out to be a minor subplot bookending the main action). I am of two minds at this point, and finding it difficult to make a choice.
Author Reply: As to your comments on the story, thanks!
Ferdi saw the branches shoved into the bog, and knew Diamond capable of such action, but he also knew how very cold the water was (from personal experience), and how long it would take to build such a bridge. Putting all that together with the lack of Hilly's footprints, or the marks of a body being dragged from the water (no way Diamond could have carried him), he chalked it up to a valiant but futile effort, as it would have been had the "ruffians" not happened along.
Ferdi figured the marks were left by a forester or hunter, while Merry thought it possible that the ruffians had captured a farmer near the Bounds and forced him to guide them into the Tookland. But that's all part of the "backstory" and may not be made explicit.
I'm afraid Jack has trouble thinking like a criminal. It'll stand him in good stead in future, of course, just as it has kept him upright his whole life. But it's not much help, to be upright and honest, when you're trying to get out of a criminal's fix.
Connie B.
· 4 October 2004
· Chapter 15: Taut as a Bowstring
That was close. I know that Jack and his boys came into the Shire with ill intent, but it's still sad that Merry and Ferdi both have such prejudgice against them. It is just sad to see Merry so sure that these people were going to harm Diamond and Farry and that they have somehow "turned her head".
I hope Pippin is calm enough to listen to all of Daimond's story, and that he will not make haisty judgements based on just his heart and not his head, too.
Hope this is making some sense. I know what I'm wanting to say, but I'm not shure that I'm making clear on paper.:)
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Thanks for commenting! It makes sense to me, more sense than I find myself making most of the time. *g* Pippin is not at all calm at the moment, but thankfully he's still on his way and not on the scene. You never know just what might happen next.
Anso the Hobbit
· 4 October 2004
· Chapter 14: Fox and Hound
Oh no! Yay for lots of action in these last few chapters! The ruffians are going away and Hilly`s had a sleeping draught. Diamond is clever too though, so I bet they´ll be all right in the end. Hopefully Ferdi and Merry will find both ruffians and the hobbits. Unless the King`s company find the ruffians first?
Author's reply
Yes, Merry and Ferdi found the ruffians and hobbits. Now if Diamond can just figure out how to save Jack and Will!
Thanks for commenting.
Connie B.
· 3 October 2004
· Chapter 14: Fox and Hound
Oh boy. Just when it looked like everything might work out okay for everyone involved, the "rescuers" show up. Man, I hope cool heads prevail. We don't need anything happening to "anyone".
You have some nice little twists and turns in this story, I must say.
thanks, again.
Connie B.
Author's reply
A few more twists coming, not many, for the story's nearly done, according to the outline.
Question: Do you think the meeting at the Bridge ought to be put off for another story? Or are you anticipating it after the early chapters, before the ruffians hijacked the story?
Thanks for taking the time to comment! Sorry to hear the computer swallowed your other review. I hate it when things like that happen! Sometimes I get frustrated and write reviews offline in a "Write Mail" window for that very reason!
Connie B.
· 3 October 2004
· Chapter 13: The Hunt
I had a half-way decent review written. And when I went to post it, discovered that the computer had logged me off the net without my knowledge. So nice review went bye-bye. Suffice to say that I'm glad the search is underway, and I hope Ferdi doesn't let his heart rule his head when it comes to dealing with men.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Bodkin
· 3 October 2004
· Chapter 13: The Hunt
I like Merry saying that he will come too - but acknowledging by his actions Ferdi's greater experience and skill in this sort of mission. Ferdi's going to collapse at some point - he always pushes himself beyond his limits.
Good thing he got out the bog, but it's sad that they think Hilly is dead.
I'm a bit worried about the arrival of those hundred archers. They could turn Jack and his boys into pincushions only too easily.
Author's reply
'Ware the Tookish archers! Good thing they're disciplined as well as impulsive by nature.
The nice thing about them thinking Hilly dead is that they get to have a pleasant surprise. And you're right about Ferdi; that hobbit doesn't seem to recognise that he has limits. He's so all-or-nothing! Either he's doing way more than he ought to be doing, or he's in a funk. (I know people like this and they are just as frustrating IRL. *g*)
Thanks!
Grey Wonderer
· 2 October 2004
· Chapter 13: The Hunt
It's so sad that they believe that Hilly was lost in thebog. I am glad they were able to tell that Diamond and Faramir are still alright or else they might not have searched further. It's a good thing Merry turned up. Now, if only Diamond's luck holds. I also have a feeling that Hilly is plotting something as he listens.
Author's reply
Hilly is definitetly going to do all he can do to extricate the hobbits out of this situation, and he's not as trusting as Diamond.
I guess if they'd thought Diamond and Farry lost in the bog, the story would have been a complete mess in the middle! The ruffians would have escaped, leaving Diamond and Farry at the border, and Diamond and Farry would have made their way to the nearest farmhouse and sent word to Pippin, who'd've been grieving his heart out. I'm glad that's not the way the story turned out: I don't think I'd have the heart to write it, even with the happy reunion in the end!
Hai Took
· 2 October 2004
· Chapter 13: The Hunt
Oh dear! It was a close thing that Ferdi didn't meet the same end as Hilly's pony! Now archers are scourging the area looking for Diamond and Farry! I hope that they don't cause harm to the Man and Boys without thinking first! Diamond is cooperating with the nicely and hopefully Hilly is beginning to understandt he situation! Looking forward to more!
Author's reply
It was a close thing! He ought to have listened to Starfire.
Today's chapter has been posted; the plot is moving along, and there'll be a resolution soon if all goes well.
Thanks!