Reviews (161)

Author's reply

Yes, Ganelon is pretty detestable. Does he care for his sister? Or is he just manipulating Pervinca for his own ends? I wonder...;) Somehow, I don't see my character of Pervinca as good at "talking" -- at least the listening part:) -- but her situation will get resolved before the end of the story. You're right that Honeysuckle is projecting her own experiences with childbirth onto Diamond, although the childbirth aspect isn't quite all there is to it -- it's a big part, though, so you are on the right track. I hadn't even given thought to her plans for Diamond's little sister Jewel yet! Ooh, what a shuddersome idea. I suspect that Merry wouldn't be Pippin's best friend if he doesn't show some signs of shaping up pretty soon (likely in Chapter 18, I would say), but Pervinca and Ganelon are waiting and plotting...and giving you good reason to be anxious for the future.;)

Author's reply

I am glad that you enjoyed the scene. The stopping for directions was actually meant to be amusing rather than titillating, so I'm glad that worked. The point is that Pippin is just as inexperienced as Diamond, and the "first time" needed to have its moments of humor, and sadness, and awkwardness, and sublimity. I am not sure which replies you think indicate contempt (I just went back and re-read all my replies to your reviews, and still don't get it), but I apologize if that is what you feel. As I said in the author's note for this latest chapter, about half the people who have responded (both publicly and not) wanted this chapter's details; about half didn't. I am certainly not going to alienate an entire half of my audience -- one way or the other. Your responses were part of what prompted the posting of this chapter: I felt I owed it to those who wanted the "buildup" as you call it, to come to some fruition. If I have seemed overly cautious in posting it, it's probably because I have been feeling so about posting it: this is the first sex scene I've written, and I'm not so sure what differentiates a scene between an R and an NC-17 rating...and I really didn't want to run afoul of SOA guidelines, which prohibit any details greater than an R. In fact, I got so paranoid about this possibility after the experience of another author -- who had *all* her stories precipitously removed from the site after she inadvertently violated the guidelines -- that I spent 45 minutes copying all the reviews, responses and hit counts from everything I've posted here into my word processing program before going ahead and hitting "publish" on this chapter. (I already have all the stories stored there.) Maybe I am overreacting, but that is how I feel. I did also go and take another look at your "Autumn's Requiem", which you previously recommended -- and which, as I said in an earlier response to you, I find both beautiful and sad (as I'm sure it's meant to be, with all of Frodo's loss) -- and used it as a bit of a guideline to what sort of things would be acceptable on this site. Thank you again for the rec, and for the help. I also do agree with you that there is a paucity of tender married sex in hobbit fiction, particularly for Pippin, my favorite hobbit (as if you couldn't have guessed that), who seems to be made to suffer interminably in the fandom with a shrewish wife for the way Diamond is often portrayed. That being said, the sex scenes are only a part of what I am trying to accomplish with this story. I can take constructive criticism of my writing -- have been taking it professionally for at least 16 years -- but, as you rightly point out, it is my story and some suggestions that I disagree with, or that go contrary to where I'm going with this, I'm not going to take. That does not mean that I don't want to hear what did/didn't work or that each reader does not have the right to her/his own opinion. (I actually had essentially this same conversation with my sister in RL as her husband reviewed a different story I had written. She was bristling on my behalf, wondering how I could tolerate some of the things he was saying, and the both of us just looked at her shocked as I pointed out..."umm, it's my story. Just because he says something doesn't mean I have to do it.") I do research on these stories, but I do not have them beta-ed. I realize this does leave open more opportunity for corrections of potential errors (and typos; sigh, I know there are some in Chap. 16 that I've been having problems fixing), and I think it also leaves open opportunity for discussions with reviewers about a variety of themes, and for "constructive criticism" as you say. My intention in writing these stories, however, is only partly to improve my writing...mainly by virtue of practice in doing it frequently, as well as trying various genres that I have not done attempted before (such as sex scenes :) ). I am also trying to have fun and to allow other people to have fun by sharing the stories with them -- as well as, in this one, offering some thought-provoking themes and ideas. I do not intend to ever have them beta-ed, as writing fan fiction for me is also a relief to escape from the sort of writing I do at work, where everything I type is "beta-ed" so much by committee that, at the end, I no longer feel ownership of it, and I have to rely so much on others for completion of each piece that, when I can write, type and post a fan fiction chapter relying only on myself, it is a huge relief. I don't know the LOTR fanfic recs site that you refer to, but I am grateful and appreciate that you saw fit to recommend this story to others. I look forward to receiving more of your honest opinions. --Topaz

Author's reply

LOL. I hope the next installment can live up to your expectations. :)

Author's reply

Thank you so much for your comments. I am sure Diamond will, overall, be very happy the next morning. Of course, there's a new misunderstanding in this chapter...Ganelon is not telling Pervinca all that he is thinking.

Author's reply

Thank you for your comments. Yes, Merry does seem jealous...he has been before, and had started to get over it, but emotions don't necessarily always follow a neat pattern. Things are changing: in some ways for the better -- although not if Ganelon succeeds in his plots.

Author's reply

While his natural character is as a generally happy-go-lucky hobbit, Pippin does have a strain of responsibility....and he has mixed feelings about a lot of things in his life: e.g., What makes him worthy to be Thain just because of an accident of birth? And, while he doesn’t necessarily regret the things he accomplished on the Quest, he does regret some of their consequences, lingering effects and the way they “bring darkness into the Shire.”

Author's reply

Yes, what was I thinking? Family commitments, a job that actually pays me. and decided to have work me work weekends and evenings...[hangs head in properly chastised shame]. Seriously, I do feel rather guilty about the length between updates, and will try to do better in future. (Must combat withdrawal symptoms!) I’m glad that you picked up on Diamond’s strength of character in this chapter. It’s not just Bert who’s a “strong hobbit.” :) If done well, I think the ‘fiery hobbitesses that carry swords’ can occasionally work, although indubitably NOT in a Mary-Sue. (Check out the book “Women Sailors and Sailor’s Women” by David Cordingly for some history on how not-as-uncommon-as-you-think it has been in history for women to participate in male-dominated roles -- although they did mostly have to masquerade as men to do so.) You are right, however, that this is not my Diamond as I have come to know her. As for her parents...you noticed those details, eh? ;) I’m glad you, at least, are fascinated by Diamond’s parents, as they’re back in Chap. 16...with another little bit of this subplot. (I keep saying Honeysuckle had a reason for not telling Diamond anything...) It’s also addressed again later in the story; I’m still trying to figure out the proper place in its structure for that episode.

Author's reply

Yes, it was good for Diamond to say “Oh, no you’re not!” ‘going to Tuckborough’ again without actually using those words. The “I love you” wasn’t originally plotted as part of this chapter -- although the “darling” was -- but she just insisted on saying it here, and I think she’s right and that it’s important. Thanks for the comments on the last line, too. I also think it’s a great concept that she can guard him from his dreams...might just be the sort of thing you’d find listed as one of the properties of diamonds in a lapidarium. ;)

Author's reply

Thank you for such great comments from one of the masters herself! (A wonderful birthday present for this author...Nov. 21...a certain Icelander has pointed out that I am now the same age as bookverse Quest Merry.)

Author's reply

Thank you! Well, she has finally realized she loves him and told him so....and somehow I think he’ll realize the same pretty soon. ;) Pippin’s nightmares might not ever be completely cured because the Quest was such a big influence in his life, but Diamond can help him make them go away quicker for the most part. I am continuing!

Author's reply

Thanks so much for the lovely, lovely review! You’re making me get all mushy now, but this was a wonderful birthday present! (Nov. 21)

Author's reply

Wow! An all-nighter on my fanfic. That is sooo flattering! :) I'm glad it reeled you in after the first two chapters, and thanks for your comments on my character development. It's nice to know that things are working! As for the updates, I am trying to maintain a fairly regular schedule -- it averages out to about once a week -- but, unfortunately, this month's crazy RL schedule is getting in the way, so Chap. 15 won't be up before next weekend at the earliest. I do not intend to abandon this; I know what you mean about fics that just languish there (I found this particularly annoying in another fandom I used to read). I actually have the ending all plotted out -- and have for a while -- it's just the middle that's taking a while to get there. At the moment, it looks like this fic will top out at around 25 chapters. "Too good for words": squee! Thanks for the good luck wishes, too.

Author's reply

Yes, poor Trefoil. A happy Pippin can actually be slightly dangerous to...well, anyone within range, really, LOL. Glad you find the bosom fascination amusing as well. Pippin does indeed have healthy, um, "appetites." And even though he may be more knowledgeable than Diamond about some things, he is just as inexperienced as she is. I'm glad you appreciate the going slow, too. As another reviewer said, there's a lot more meaning in sex if love has developed first. You're right that it's not in Diamond's nature to be a "vivacious chatterbox" (that's closer to Estella; grin), but she has gained more confidence as Pippin's wife -- and she's gotten to know him a lot better, so well that she can now tell when he's faking being asleep. She's now comfortable enough with him to throw raisins at him (something she probably wouldn't have done even with her family members back in the North Farthing) -- although she probably wouldn't have done it in a setting any more public than with Merry and Estella. (Estella relaxed a little bit, too, but she's probably annoyed that her raisins went to waste and can't be eaten, unlike Diamond's, which she's snacking on as she pulls them out of Pippin's hair.)

Author's reply

Really? You must have quite the interesting workplace, LOL. That statement was actually one of the main inspirations for the entire story -- it's something I have pondered on for quite a while, as well. Yes, Pippin does enjoy Diamond's company -- he said as much in Chap. 13 -- and he has also been living with her for long enough that he has come to trust her, and to have confidence in her healing abilities. (Part of Merry's problem, of course, is that he only sees Diamond on visits and isn't with her nearly all the time as Pip is.)I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Author's reply

Thanks so much; I'm glad you liked it. Merry's last line in this chapter is something I have heard that really stuck with me (I tried to get my county reference librarian to track it down for proper attribution, but no such luck -- common wisdom is what she suggested I go with.) It's also a big part of the inspiration for this story...and it only took me 14 chapters to get to it, LOL!

Author's reply

Whew. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter; it was really a struggle to get through it -- in part because of my crazy work schedule (and the fact that my own husband's birthday fell within the past couple of weeks. No parties, no marshmallows -- well, I guess there were some on the s'mores, but not sure if that counts -- but we had a nice time). Pippin and Diamond are physically attracted to each other -- they have been admiring for a while now, but now they're starting to do something about it with the kisses -- and I think you're right about it bringing them closer. (Psst. I'm rooting for Pip and Diamond, too.) I'm so glad you think they "seem to fit"! I'm flattered by your comments about my portrayal of Diamond, too. I'm glad it's been interesting for you. Merry is readjusting to things; it takes him a while, because he tends to resist change (as Estella notes). He is also a bit possessive of "his" Pip and so jealous of the newcomer! The story keeps going; I am trying to keep up my regular posting schedule, but it's going to be a bit more of a struggle this month. Even crazier work schedule ahead, including some weekends. Sigh. I do look forward to this story, though. I think Chapter 15 is going to be both especially difficult -- and especially rewarding -- to write. Have made some good progress on Chap. 14 so far this week. Thank you for your encouraging reviews!!

Author's reply

Yes, I thought there might be a contingent that would appreciate this Merry-ish chapter in my Pip story. :) Mr. Brandybuck, as Estella notes, is not particularly fond of change -- that's part of why he resents Diamond, too. (Plus the fact that Pip's now asking for *her* when he's sick, and not for *him*.)

Author's reply

Wow, completely satisfied. That's surprising -- but good -- to hear! Things are moving along a little beyond the kisses, as Diamond is still learning.... Glad to hear that you did like the "long-awaited kisses" (there were quite a few, LOL) and the "feelings, emotions and reflections." Those few sentences that you pulled out as the part you liked the most: it was, again, not an accident that the verb when the ice cracked was "cleave." My high school literature teacher from oh-so-long-ago would be so proud of the symbolism. ;) As for the next chapter, I'm sorry about the wait for this one. I am attempting to maintain my posting schedule, but have a month of a crazy work schedule ahead of me -- including some weekends. :( I did feel better after struggling to find time to write, type and post this chapter, though.

Author's reply

I'm glad you liked the games, and the lead-up to the last one. I think we all feel somewhat better after that kiss: hobbits, marshmallows, and kissing -- what more could you want? I'm glad you look forward to more, and I deeply apologize to you and to all readers/reviewers for the unanticipated delay in posting Chap. 13...darn real job!:(

Author's reply

Oh, trust me, I am well versed in late night silly ramblings. (Time for me when this chapter was originally posted? Midnight on Sunday.) So you didn't expect the kiss? I'm glad: doing the expected gets so...predictable. :) "Silent spitfire" is a great description of Diamond (as witnessed also by her slapping the kitchen lass in the last chapter.) Diamond is working on cheering Pippin up. That was a big reason for the games, which I'm glad you enjoyed. Researching them was fun, too. Besides just being themselves, they also had symbolic meanings, with the references P and D made to "my father bid me..." in the first one, and the "winner takes all" aspect of the second one (which is called "Put and Take"), as well as potentially even more interpretations. I can't help myself: if something has more than one meaning which supports the story, I just have to use it in favor of something with just one meaning, LOL ! The marshmallow game was fun because Diamond would never truly initiate a regular kiss with Pippin, and -- it's Pippin, so it's fun to be a little playful. I will keep writing. Thank you for asking nicely. :)

Author's reply

I think Pippin's perceptions of Diamond have changed slowly throughout this story. This adds more information that needs to be processed into that. Glad you're enjoying the "slow unfolding of their relationship." They will talk at a certain point. I rather enjoyed the kissing, myself. :)

Author's reply

Glad you liked the "stringing out." Perhaps you appreciated the foreshadowing in the previous chapter as well, when they "swapped spit" via the pipestem they both sucked on. ;) As for taking it from there, you know, a really evil author could point out that the Family Trees say Faramir wasn't born until 1430, so there could be two more years to play with here. A really, really evil author could write it so that he was born in Foreyule [December] of 1430. = == : 0 ;)

Author's reply

Glad you enjoyed. (Put your head on at a different angle and look at some of the other potential definitions of words used in the first two games, and maybe you'll be even more...satisfied. ;) )

Author's reply

Yeah, when you post at midnight on a Sunday night and realize you have a 9 a.m. meeting the next morning, you tend to gloss over the proofreading as well and miss things like citing the correct title of the book with the appendices in your footnote, so I understand. Ahem. Fixed now! Communication, as another reviewer said earlier, is a big part of any marriage even today. At some marriage-building sessions my husand and I went to in our first year of marriage, the presenter called the "frames of reference" you refer to "the tapes that play in your head." We all have them, and we can't completely get rid of them. But, at the marriage encounter weekend that we went to *before* we were married, everyone was required to stand up and solemnly swear to her or his future spouse, in turn, that we could not read minds. Just goes to show that *that's* still an issue in our day, as well. (Through various church, etc., events, we ended up renewing our vows three times within the first year and a half of our marriage. I think we're well-stuck. :) )

Author's reply

Wow. Another comparison of this story to a movie I've never seen. (There was a mention of Eddie Murphy's "Coming to America" in a review of an earlier chapter. And I know I'm culturally underfed; "Yentl" came out when I was in high school, and I didn't get to it then, and haven't got around to it since.) So, obviously I'm older than a teenager. :) I'm glad you're enjoying my romance writing -- this is the first one I've written (unless you count the brief Paladin and Eglantine romance posted here on SOA that serves as background for my universe, and as practice for my first posting). I actually do think that the teenage Mary Sue's serve a sort of developmental purpose, but their vast proliferation among everyone besides the author and her friends is one of the aspects of the Internet I could have done without. A quote from another fandom best describes what I've been trying to do with Diamond: she "keeps unfolding like a flower." You are very astute for tapping into the "no one is all good/bad theme": if I could attribute these song lyrics, I would, "there is no black or white, but only shades of gray." (It's not either the Biohazard or the Dan Fogelberg songs I found when I did a google search.) And, finally, FINALLY, someone who feels sorry for Diamond's parents! Woo-hoo! They, like this story, have their own complexities.