Conversations

 

A couple years prior, Estella would have thought it odd being a guest at Frodo Baggins' birthday party. But, in the past several months she had gotten to know Frodo and looked at being invited to his private party as an honor.

 

She gazed at the small group around her. Fred and Melilot sat on the couch: Mel hanging over Fred as he opened the box Frodo had given him. She was glad her brother had found such a lovely lass. Sam and Rosie were curled up together on a soft rug by the hearth: Sam's arm tenderly around her shoulder while Rosie's hand lay on her belly. They would have their first child in six months. Merry and Pippin sat on two of the kitchen chairs talking animatedly with their cousin. Frodo was next to Estella in the two armchairs that furnished the sitting room. Everyone was in such high spirits.

 

In the pit of Estella's stomach, though, there was a mixture of happiness and forlorn. She wondered if she would have been apart of this happy crowd if she hadn't went to live at Crickhollow; if Fred and Mel would have brought her along as baggage, a third wheel thrown into the mix. In a way, she was a third wheel with Merry and Pippin, but she had never felt that with them, Merry especially made sure of that.

 

There was a deep understand between them, it made Estella shiver with a desire she really hadn't felt before. There was so much there, and yet, so much more to build on.

 

"Miss Bolger?"

 

She shook herself out of those thoughts at the voice calling her name. She looked down at the hand lying on hers then up at Frodo's face. "Oh! I'm sorry, Mr. Baggins. Were you saying something to me?"

 

"Well, no," Frodo replied, taking his hand away. "You appeared to be in another place."

 

"We were worried, is all," Merry added.

 

Estella's eyes caught on Merry's face for a moment. She felt her cheeks blush, and turned away. "Thank you for the concern. I think I may go outside for a bit."

 

***

 

The cool, evening air chilled Estella's bare arms. Puffs of clouds drifted across the full moon every once and a while, leaving the land dark and empty of shadows. Estella hugged herself, rubbing her arms.

 

"Care for a blanket?"

 

Estella spun around, surprised. "Oh, Rose!"

 

"Estella!" Rosie exclaimed, laughing. She sat on the bench by the front door, patting the place beside her. Estella laughed as well, and joined her friend - Rosie spreading a blanket over them.

 

"Didn't Sam protest to you coming out in this chilly air?"

 

"Of course, he did," Rosie said with a sigh, "but I assured him that I would be just fine with a blanket to keep me warm. Merry was coming to see if you were all right, but I came instead. Now why are you out here?"

 

Estella threw her a sidelong look. "Merry was coming out here?"

 

"Yes, he was. Are you disappointed that I stopped him?"

 

For a long moment, Estella was struck speechless. Rose went on.

 

"We haven't known one another long, but I have seen it."

 

"Seen what?"

 

"You and Merry." Rosie nudged her shoulder.

 

"Rosie, really. It is only friendship that is between me and Merry."

 

"I know. That is why I say this. I can tell it is a very deep friendship."

 

Estella nodded, and said quietly, "Yes, we do have a deep friendship."

 

Rosie took Estella's hands in hers. "That is how it starts."

 

"I am friends with Pippin too."

 

"But, not the way you are with Merry?"

 

There was a suck in of what sounded like a sob. "He knows me better than I know myself, and I can't understand how."

 

"Does it really need to be explained? What matters is, is that he does know you better than you know yourself. That means he truly and utterly cares about you."

 

"I care about him more than I realise sometimes." She laid her head back against the smial wall. "What do I do?"

 

"What you have done all along - be his friend."

 

Estella whimpered.

 

"Oh, dear Stella." Rosie squeezed her friend's hands that she still held. "It will be all right. You'll see."

 

***

 

The fire in the sitting room hearth was dying down. Estella glanced across the room at Merry in the armchair reading one of Bilbo's old books by candle. It was only he and her left awake. She stretched her arms, and looked at the clock on the mantle - gasping at how late it was.

 

"I best be off to bed," said Estella, rising from the couch. "Or I'll fall asleep right here." She made her way across the room to Merry, and bent down to kiss his cheek. "Good night, Merry."

 

A hand caught hers before she could make her way to the hallway. Estella turned, eyeing Merry questioningly.

 

Merry fixed his gaze on their hands. He gulped then looked up at her. "I love you, Estella."

 

The strangest wave of delight fluttered in Estella's stomach. She stared blankly at him, her limbs feeling as if they had lost all strength. It was her turn to gulp. "I…I love you too, Merry," she sputtered out.

 

Merry smiled up at her, holding her hand firmly. "Good night, Stella."

 

"To you as well." Estella slipped from the room in a daze. Merry's voice echoed in her mind, even after sleep overtook her.

 

***

 

"Merry, will you accompany me to Bywater Pond?"

 

"Of course, I will, Frodo."

 

Pippin cocked his head. "May I come as well, cousin?"

 

Frodo knitted his brow together, and replied as he snatched another scone from the basket on the kitchen table, "I need to talk with Merry alone, Pip. How about you accompany me to town tomorrow?"

 

Pippin nodded in satisfaction.

 

It wasn't until after luncheon that Frodo and Merry stepped out the front door of Bag End, and started their trek down to Bywater Pond.

 

"What is it that you want to talk to me about, cousin?"

 

Frodo's eyes stayed ahead, but a grin played on his lips. "When will you finally tell Estella that you are courting her?"

 

Merry looked at Frodo rather startled. "Who says I'm courting Estella?"

 

"Oh, come off it, Merry!" Frodo said exasperated but still grinning. "You go out of your way to bring her a flower every morning. You treat her with such loving and tender kindness, more than I have ever seen you treat a lass. Then there's the way you look at her."

 

"How do I look at her?"

 

Frodo stopped short, Merry stopping a few steps ahead of him. "Like there's no one else around."

 

Merry held Frodo's gaze for a moment then lowered his head. "You're right. I have been courting Stella. At first I didn't know it. I was only trying to make her happy after losing her father. When I finally realised everything I was doing was courting, I didn't want to stop. I love her, cousin, and not just as a friend anymore."

 

"You need to tell her that!"

 

"I have told her I love her."

 

"Did you say it as a friend or more?"

 

Merry shrugged, heaving in frustration. "It's hard to tell these days. The line between our friendship has become blurred. She has become the mistress of our household without even being married to me or Pip."

 

"Could you see her as your wife?"

 

"I can." A shy smile broke out on Merry's face. "I have."

 

Frodo stepped forward, laying a hand on his cousin's shoulder. "Then make her your wife."