Beruthiel
· 30 December 2004
· Chapter 51: Reaching Out
Wow. I'm speechless. So sad . . . *sniff*
You've shown Pippin's grief extremely well. I was crying right along with him all through this chapter. He's very fortunate to have Saradoc's shoulder to cry on; he needs someone who understands what he's going through. Sara's warning about locking oneself away with grief was so poignant; I shuddered at the thought of such a thing happening to poor Pip.
Merry's method of getting Pippin out of bed is cute. I especially liked this:
"For the children . . . please?"
"Not until you tell me who they are," Pippin said, eying his cousin warily.
My sequel is coming along slowly. I might be ready to start posting soon after you finish, or maybe not. Time will tell.
A little mistake here: "All at once, the blood rushed to Pippin's head, darkening the lad's vision." Actually, the opposite is happening. As Pippin stands, blood is pulled downward by gravity, so it suddenly drops out of his head.
Hmm. Guess I'm not speechless after all.
Author's reply
You're fine, Beruthiel! I guess I'm getting a bit nervous over the last two chapters that I can see in my head...but must take the time for fat-fingering key strokes! My aplogies for trying to speed through. I did catch that wee head rushing thing when I combed through it for tomorrow's post...or re-post. Thank you very much! :-)
As far as the rest of your response...I'm also speechless. It still amazes me that readers find this story touching, though I'm grateful all the same. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'll be looking for your story...I plan on reading it. Take care!
Pippinfan
Pearl Took
· 30 December 2004
· Chapter 51: Reaching Out
What could be better than Merry and Pippin helping each other to healing!!! I eagerly await the next chapter. But what is this AU of the AU? What are you hiding from your mentor? The has been a wonderful journey, thank you for writing this :)
Author's reply
That is the cruxt of their relationship, isn't it? Always there for each other. :-)
Hehehe...Well...it's been a while, but I mentioned (sort of in passing) that I wanted to do a separate, alternative ending where Rosebud lives. It's been so long--in fact, I believe I was still in Columbus when I last said something. There is a whole backdrop to this that I'd rather pm you about.
Thank YOU for helping me develop the story--and respond with all your encouragement and support. I love you--but not like that! :-) Thanks for reading Roses!
Your protege,
Pippinfan
Connie B.
· 30 December 2004
· Chapter 51: Reaching Out
Oh, this chapter was really hard, on many levels. I thought about the different reactions that people had when my mom died, and I thought of an event that resolved itself just this morning.
Today I had to tell my almost-ten-year-old daughter that a friend of a friend of hers had been murdered on Christmas Eve. The girl was just twelve. I find myself wanting to hold my "wee one" a little closer right now. So, reading this chapter was really hard, but I'm glad I got through it. I found the part about not making the mistake of shutting oneself off from the world encouraging. You really never do forget those you love, but you can't dwell on their loss forever. As hard as it is to imagine in the heart of the grief, the world goes on and you have two choices; either stay in the dark merely existing, or getting back out into the world, even if you are a different person than you were before. There will always be reminders of the one(s) you've lost, but you can use those reminder to think of the good times and not just the loss.
Whoa, I guess I kind of got going there, didn't I? This really was an ensightful chapter, and I'm sure it wasn't the easiest thing to write.
Thanks so much.
I did notice more than the usual number of typos. Probably they're a result of you OOC grammar checker. Just noticing, that's all.
Thanks again.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Connie, I am so very, very sorry about your daughter and her friend’s loss…my own heart goes out to you all--and to the girl’s family. Seems this Christmas Eve was full of tragedy. Yes, the chapters *of* and surrounding Lilas’ and Rosebud’s death were all tough to write, especially having to dig in dark places within my own heart. I was in both Merry and Saradoc’s position when I was a teen and young adult, respectively. That was a hard lesson I had to learn; to either shut myself inside my room, or to go on and live my life. Its so easy to do the former. My prayers are with you all. Take care.
Pippinfan
Eruviluieth
· 30 December 2004
· Chapter 51: Reaching Out
This must be really hard to write. It's certainly hard to read without grieving myself as though Rosebud was my child. To say the least, you're doing a fantastic job. I love how Merry's family can comfort Pippin, having gone through the exact same thing. You're writing that excellently, as well. I've very much enjoyed this story and I'm sorry it's coming to an end, even though I know it has to end somewhere. Looking forward to where you take it next!
Author's reply
Hullo, Eruviluieth--you’re wonderful to say all that. I never take these compliments for granted, and I thank you. Yes, it has been difficult in writing both Rosebud’s and Lilas’ last scenes. I have gotten very attached to these O.C.s. As you already know, it’s much like acting; I have to take my muse to places in my heart that I don’t really like to visit in order to feel the depth of emotions my characters are feeling. Thanks for reading Roses--and for taking the time to leave a lovely response.
Pippinfan
Meldewen Ilce
· 30 December 2004
· Chapter 51: Reaching Out
I'm in tears again, and I don't know what else to say other than I am heartbroken for Pippin and Merry...
*sniff*
I am glad that as much as they're all hurting no one is going to let Pippin just wallow around in his grief... too bad he can't have one of those teddy bears that they now make for mothers who have lost their babies - it doesn't help with all of their pain but it does help in the fact it keeps their arms from feeling so empty for the want of their lost child...
Are you saying that there's only 2 more chapters left to this story?
Author's reply
As sad as it is to lose a child, I like the teddy bear idea. I cannot fathom what it must feel like to lose a piece of your heart. It’s a tad different with adults, but a child…
My heart truly did grieve for Pippin and Merry as I wrote this chapter. I tend to get very emotionally involved with these two hobbits. Actually, I have one chapter left, and then another chapter with a different ending for Rosebud, but I don’t want to publish it before the actual ending of *this* story. Couldn’t help it…I got attached to Wee Rosebud.
Thanks for reading--and thanks for spotting the “new” error(s)! I honestly put the chapter through spell check, and then afterwards I went back and tweaked it--forgetting to put those new portions through the checker. THEN, when I got yours and Connie’s reviews, I combed through it yet again…and do you think I could leave well enough alone? Heck, no! I tweaked it again! Why settle for just good, when I can (try to) do better? Oy…
Thanks!
Pippinfan
Pervinca
· 27 December 2004
· Chapter 50: A Lullaby for Rosebud
Oh, so sad! But I'm almost glad that he was finally able to let her go. "If you love something, let it go..." that's how the saying goes, isn't it?
Aside from Pippin, the character I feel worst for is Merimas. At least, normally, a healer can distance themselves from a dying patient, but that's not possible when that patient is your niece. One of the many reasons I decided not to become an actual doctor.
- Pervinca
Author's reply
I'm so glad you keyed in on that--and Merimas! You hit the nail on the head. A long, long time ago I read a story in the Reader's Digest about a preemie NICU. The nurse wrote that one baby desperately clung to life in spite of a host of infections and undeveloped tissue and organs. The parents struggled with the decision, but they eventually gave thier infant daughter permission to die. I was so touched by the story that I did the same with Pippin and Rosebud. Thanks for reading, Pervinca!
Pippinfan
melilot hill
· 27 December 2004
· Chapter 50: A Lullaby for Rosebud
Oh, this is so sad, you made me cry. Poor Pippin and the others
Author's reply
Yes--I get sad writing it! Thanks for reading!
Pippinfan
Pearl Took
· 26 December 2004
· Chapter 50: A Lullaby for Rosebud
I'm in tears. I would suppose you'll hear that a lot.
This is such a tenderly, beautifully written tale, it breaks my heart. Yet I know Pippin will come through a stronger, more loving and caring hobbit; gentle and sensitive to the hurts of others.
Wonderful. Beautiful.
Author's reply
I may hear it from a lot of readers, but I hope you know that it's always most special coming from you. You've been my mentor and dear friend for nigh onto two years - you're stuck with me! :-) Thank you for reading Roses!
Pippinfan
Meldewen Ilce
· 26 December 2004
· Chapter 50: A Lullaby for Rosebud
Oh my... I don't know how but I keep reading this and I had tears running down my face this chapter... I don't know how Pippin will make it through losing his child but I know one thing Merry MUST stay with him as I am sure his grief may make Pippin want to give up... Poor Merry... I know losing Rosebud too is going to break his heart almost as bad as it's going to break Pippin's... Elbereth, woman, I don't know what keeps me reading this story other than it is so well written and it is a beautiful story though it is so so so so heartwrenching!!!!
Author's reply
Wow...I'm speechless. It does happen from time to time! Yes, I desperately wanted to show Merry's anguish as well. He's like Rosebud's second father for all intents and purposes. Absolutely, Merry is going to stay with Pippin...they both need each other's friendship right now. Thanks for reading Roses!
Pippinfan
pipspebble
· 26 December 2004
· Chapter 50: A Lullaby for Rosebud
You finally did it. Though I swore I would not, you've reduced me to tears. Great big old teardrops spilling out of my eyes and dripping down my cheeks and into my lap. Oh, dear, you are doing such a lovely job with this story. You break my heart, you do. Simply wonderful.
Author's reply
Hullo, pipspebble! You are so sweet to say that. Trust me, I nearly reduce myself to a blubbering mess as I write these chapters! Thanks for reading Roses!
Pippinfan
Eruviluieth
· 26 December 2004
· Chapter 50: A Lullaby for Rosebud
More excellent writing. This is still brilliant, but why is she lingering? Or is she already gone and I didn't catch it? If she's still holding on, I'm not sure I can take much more bittersweetness - it's time for her to go. But I defer to your greater wisdom if you have more incredible moments yet to come first. Thanks again for this story.
Author's reply
Thanks, Eruviluieth -- you'll see more of the big picture in the next chapter. Thank YOU for reading Roses! Take care.
Pippinfan
Grey Wonderer
· 26 December 2004
· Chapter 50: A Lullaby for Rosebud
I couldn't believe that they thought to tell Pip without Merry present. The two of them together raised the child after Lilas died. It wouldn't have been fair. So glad Pippin insisted and that Merimas backed him up. This will hurt Merry deeply too.It was so sad to watch Pippin let go of his hopes for his child. Your song was lovely. I thought that you did a wonderful job on it. Take care. I will be waiting for more.
Author's reply
Well, I thought for as much as Merry helped Pippin with Rosebud, DB only saw Pippin as her Father. She wasn't as close to the situation as Merimas, nor Merry. Pippin knows better though about Merry. You'll see more in the upcoming chapters. Oh, yes, a nice Merry moment is coming up. ;-) Take care, and thanks for reading Roses. :-)
Pippinfan
I am a big coward and so I waited to tackle this chapter until after Christmas. I knew this was coming but it is still very hard to read and even more-so since Pippin is so sick himself. In a way the things Rosebud says in the dream remind me of Frodo and how he felt near the end before leaving. Wonderfully done.
Samwisegirl12, who is, as usual, too lazy to login!
· 26 December 2004
· Chapter 50: A Lullaby for Rosebud
*sniff* aww ... no, no, no! You can't kill poor lil Rosebud! *sniff* noo!
This was a very well written and sad sad chapter. No doubt the next chapter will be her death, huh. Angst galore! *sniff*
Bye Rosebud .. sweet lil baby! *hugs her* wahhh!
btw, your lullaby was beeeutiful - very good! :) I'll have to find that song that you used for the tune!
Thanks so much and update SOON - I'll give u a cookie if you do! lol
~ swg ~
Author's reply
Hello Samwisegirl12! LOL...thanks for resisting the urge to not log in! And thank you for the lovely complimenets.:-) Afton was a song I used to play on a toy organ when I was a kid, and liked it back then. It's a Celtic tune; just type the title in your search engine and see what you come up with. Hehehe...lucky for you I LOVE cookies! Chapter 51 is on it's way tomorrow or Thursday. Thanks for reading Roses!
Pippinfan
Connie B.
· 26 December 2004
· Chapter 50: A Lullaby for Rosebud
Well, you've done it; I'm crying. This was so sad. Just because I knew it was coming didn't make it any easier.
I can't begin to imagine what this is going to do to poor Pippin. I keep having visions of him lapsing into a deeper sickness himself and them nearly losing him, too.
Oh, please post 51 soon. I can't stand the wait. I need to know even if it's angsty.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Oy...what can I say? Sorry about the hanky deal...I think. No...the loss of someone so dear is never easy to bear--especially that of an innocent child. Fifty-one is coming soon! Indeed...poor Pippin. Thanks for reading Roses, Connie!
Pippinfan
pipspebble
· 21 December 2004
· Chapter 49: Where's Rosebud?
Here it comes! What a poignant way to show the gradual shift into awareness for Pippin that his Muffin must, indeed, leave him. It is going to be so very hard to read the rest of this story, but you haven't let me down yet. I will stick with you to the end. You are amazing and wonderful and I just love this angst you're putting us all through.
Author's reply
I'm glad you noticed that! There is so much I want to tell you about that, but it would ruin the next chapter. You're terrific yourself, lady--and I'll be catching up on my reading over the holidays--meaning, I'll be visiting a lot of libraries on the sites. Everyone has been so great in supporting me, I would like to reciprocate. Hope your holidays are happy and safe. Take care!
Pippinfan
pipspebble
· 21 December 2004
· Chapter 48: Hearts in Despair
Oh, my heart! You're going to kill me, you know that, don't you? So beautifully written, so achingly lovely. I'm so glad I found this story. It is simply marvelous!
Author's reply
Wow...I am always amazed at wonderful reviews such as this one. I'm so glad you found it, too--I've made so many lovely friends through this story. Take care!
Pippinfan
Rosie-Ann
· 21 December 2004
· Chapter 49: Where's Rosebud?
WWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
*incoherant babbling*
You're cruel, Ter. Just cruel! *sniffs* but it's beautiful.
Author's reply
LOL...glad you liked it! Do you have your hankies? ;-)
Pippinfan
Beruthiel
· 21 December 2004
· Chapter 49: Where's Rosebud?
At last, exams are over and I can catch up on reading. I'd like to throttle whoever scheduled exams this late in the month. That's just plain cruelty.
Just can't resist stretching out the heartbreak as long as possible, can you? We're all going to need waterproof keyboards at this rate.
This chapter is truly heart-wrenching. It sounds like the healers are about ready to give up on Rosebud, and Pippin's getting worse. By the time Rosebud actually dies he may be sick enough to just drop dead from grief (or at least come close to doing that-plenty of room for more angst there).
Poor Pippin (seem to be saying that a lot these days). By the time this is over he'll be scarred for life. Hope Merry's stocking up on handkerchiefs.
Hoping to see the next chapter soon. Merry Christmas! :)
Author's reply
Yeah...my niece had finals this week, too. I know the trauma! :-P
LOL...waterproof keyboards--that was cute. We're almost done--how are you doing on the sequel? All hobbits, including Merry--EXcluding Pippiin--carry handkerchiefs! Merry may have forgotten them when he was younger, but he's an adult now so he's expected to carry his own supply. :-) Merry Christmas to you, too! Hope to post before then. Take care.
Pippinfan
Pearl Took
· 18 December 2004
· Chapter 49: Where's Rosebud?
AAAAARRRRRGGGG!!!!!! the torture of the cliff hanger!!!!! This is so tenderly and sympatheticly written, it is a beautiful story. Life isn't always pleasant and easy. Wonderful!!!!!
Author's reply
LOL...you poor thing! I didn't think it was that torturous...then again, *I* have the entire story in my head. :-o I'm glad that there are those who realize life isn't always happy. Life is life--chock full of moments that are happy, sad, funny, horrific, pleasant...I could go on, but you get the idea.
As always, Pearl, your reviews go straight to my heart...remember, you taught me everything I know about angst writing! ;-) Have a wonderful and safe Christmas--and a safe drive to your family's place(s). Merry Christmas, Pearl! :-)
Pippinfan
Eruviluieth
· 18 December 2004
· Chapter 49: Where's Rosebud?
You write a real tear-jerker. I've loved this from the beginning but couldn't review on ff.net. Looks like you're starting to wrap up. I don't like the thought of Rosebud dying, but it's starting to look that way. Sad, but you're writing it so well that I can't complain too much. I wish she would live, but all happy endings isn't the way it works. Even Tolkien had Frodo sail. I'm sticking with you and looking forward to each new chapter.
Author's reply
Even on the 49th chapter, I'm still in awe when someone writes a response such as yours! It feeds my muse more than you know. About ff.net, you're not the first person that I've known to have review problems. I've had it where it tells me the review "was not posted successfully"--to try again later, then presto!--it's posted. I found that out after writing a couple duplicate reviews to stories there.
Bingo! You're right in that not all endings are happy ones--and JRRT having Frodo leave Middle-earth is my first argument in that defense. This wee tale was never going to have a happy ending straight from the beginning. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a wonderful review--and thank you for reading Roses!
Happy Holidays and take care.
Pippinfan
Connie B.
· 18 December 2004
· Chapter 49: Where's Rosebud?
Ugh, that was hard. My own eyes are misty.
Well, we're into the heart of the angst, aren't we? I was afraid for a moment that we were going to lose her in this chapter. I feel so bad for poor Pippin. He's sick himself, and then there's all of this going on, too. Then he goes and has this weird futuristic dream about Rosebud wanting his permission to leave this life; what a place for a parent to be. Why do I have this very bad feeling that Rosebud is going to die while Pippin is still sick? If that happens, things could get a bit touch-and-go for Pippin, too. A traumatic event combined with an illness is a bad recipe for a normally healthy person, but for a person with a history like Pippin's, it could be devistating. This is almost overwhelming to think about.
I am impressed, though. I had been thinking about you and this story since Thursday night, and boom, I log on today and there it is. Maybe I'll have to think about it more often and the chapters will appear. Then again, maybe not. Just wishful thinking.
If you don't post befor Christmas, have a happy holiday.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Let's just say this is #1 of 2 very angsty chapters--and goodness me, it will be traumatic for all around. Including me. :'( As usual, I can't go too much into your comments--you're good, though.
The transition of Rosebud going from healthy to sickly was a bit sticky, but now that that part is past, the story is almost writing itself. My fingers are having to keep up with my muse!
As always, you're sweet, Connie! I hope to post before Christmas, but Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas to you, too! :-) Thanks you for taking the time to leave another of your fantastic reviews...and for reading Roses. Take care.
Pippinfan
Pervinca
· 12 December 2004
· Chapter 48: Hearts in Despair
Sorry - been busy with exams, so just catching up on all of these chapters that I missed. Rest assured, that I will carry on reading this story, no matter how many tears it may bring to my eyes. It's wonderfully written, but it must be so hard for you. I agree that you shouldn't become too attached to OCs. That's probably one of the reasons I don't like to use OCs all that often :P
They should write to Aragorn for help, I think :P Has anyone thought of using athelas? (And please forgive me if this has come up earlier in the story - I'm very tired)
- Pervinca
Author's reply
I know you have--it's *that* time of year for you. :-) You know, I've thought about writing the King, but her illness is too far along for that at this point. You just gave me an idea for something else, though. ;-) I'll pm you and let you know when I have everything formulated.
Pippinfan
melilot hill
· 11 December 2004
· Chapter 48: Hearts in Despair
Thi is so sad, but I still very much love this story!
Author's reply
Thanks, Melilot! I'm glad! :-) Thanks for reading Roses--and for taking the time to let me know you still enjoy it. Take care.
Pippinfan
Kriszta
· 10 December 2004
· Chapter 48: Hearts in Despair
Good story, fantastic chapter, I like it very much! I still have hope in the happy end. I now I may be silly or childlish, but I don't care. Losing your child is an impossible great burden wich changes you forever, and I like Pippin the way he is, and I like Rosebud as well. It can be hard enough to bear when they say to you that you will lose your only child, this can have a free scope for a great Pippin and Merry angst. But I still have hope that THAT is enough suffering for poor Pippin. Besides, there is a therapy for this illness wich is used by horses: the doc inserts a tube into the lung to have run out the fluid from there. (See that e.g. in The Black Beauty)
Good luck!
Author's reply
Hello, Kriszta! Oh, I know there is therapy for this type of illness...but did it exist in Middle-earth--or the Shire during this story? I choose to believe that probably it didn't. At least, not in the Shire. JRRT mentions that hobbits disliked contraptions more complicated than a mill or a handloom, so I choose to believe that they largely depended on herbs and such for healing. I don't put it past Gondor to have that "technology" in its most rustic form, but not the Shire--however, thanks for the input. Yes!! This does give way to more Pippin and Merry angst! :-) The premise of it being extraordinarily hard on a parent to lose their only child is what this angst is all about. Thanks for reading Roses. :-)
Pippinfan