Oh, no! It's over :( But what an ending! I think it would have wonderful if you had ended it with chapter 25, but that little epilogue just made it so much better. I see you did end up using Merry's little bungle in his father's study :P
Thank you so very much for sharing this wonderful story. I can't wait to see a new story from you. :)
Author's reply
Thank you for sharing your enjoyment. I had planned on ending it at 25, but I just had this little niggle about it--I couldn't quite leave things as they were with Fatty. And yes, I used it after all; I'd originally planned to do a bit more with it, but it didn't quite gel.
Hopefully my next story will be a bit shorter!
Grey Wonderer
· 15 April 2004
· Chapter 9999: Epilogue
I am so sorry to see this one end even though I know it must. It has been very enjoyable, looking forward to new chapters on this one and seeing the conspiracy from different points of view. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story! I love forward to your next one. I love love to read more about your 'Fatty' and his dear friend Falco.
Author's reply
I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun to do, and I was amazed at how long it ended up being. I have some more ideas about Fatty and Folco. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do with them, though.
GamgeeFest
· 15 April 2004
· Chapter 9999: Epilogue
Excellent way to end it! I smell a sequel! Thanks for the amazing read and I'll be looking forward to anything else you put up.
GamgeeFest
· 15 April 2004
· Chapter 24
Whoops, that other review was for this chapter. That's what happens when you read and then come back later to review. But as I said, this is a wonderful story and I love the way you're handling it. I've also read your other stories, the ones about after the war, with Merry and Pippin. I just want to say bravo for those as well, they're just beautifully done and perfectly cannon. I felt as if I was reading lost chapters from the book!
GamgeeFest
· 15 April 2004
· Chapter 23
I liked the way you looked into Merry's and Sam's thoughts in this one. Sam's especially were very cute and funny, he's so protective of Frodo. I always liked that line about how Sam wasn't inclined to trust anyone who had beaten his master, however long ago. It really says a lot about his dedication and loyalty, even at that early stage. From that point on, you know that if anyone messes with Frodo, they'll have Sam Gamgee to deal with. Ah, but the beer helps, doesn't it? :)
Merry also, I think showed considerable restraint for not strangling his cousins for the worry they caused him. It's bad enough worrying over someone coming home late when it's just a regular day, but to know that there is a very real possibility that something actually may have happened makes it a million times worse. But hobbits do show their concern by making light of a subject and Merry was always very good at that. You make your narrative and Tolkien's run together very well, almost seamlessly if not for the ilatics. Great job!
Author's reply
Yes, I always remembered that line as well, and thought I'd expand on it a bit; and yes, beer helps, especially a hobbit.
I think Merry was so relieved to find them, and of course, it was clear that *something* had happened--it just wasn't quite as bad as he thought it was.
Blending the narratives was the hardest part for me, I'm glad you thought it worked. ( And getting those italics to stay right when I posted. Seemed like *one* sentence in italics and the whole rest of the story suddenly would be. Confusing.)
Pervinca
· 15 April 2004
· Chapter 24
"A Shortcut to Mushrooms" was always one of my favourite chapters (though not quite so good as "A Conspiracy Unmasked"!), so I really enjoyed this chapter. It's good to see them all together at last. Poor Merry and his stressing. I really do pity him for what he had to go through that day, so it's nice to see that some authors have been good enough to write what he did. :)
Author's reply
I'm glad you enjoyed it. The first parts of the story are favorites of mine,too. I know some people think he took too long to get going, but I could easily have enjoyed a few more chapters set in the Shire before they left. But then I guess that wouldn't have left anything for us to do! 8-)
eiluj
· 15 April 2004
· Chapter 24
"He probably wouldn't be hungry again for a couple of hours."
Yes, you do know your hobbits!
Author's reply
Six meals a day? That works out to a couple of hours between each, and poor Pip was still a growing lad. 8-) I'm having way too much fun describing meals.
Grey Wonderer
· 14 April 2004
· Chapter 24
Well done! You are still putting the book together with your story so very well. Loved Sam in this chapter, not trusting farmer Maggot at first because of the dog incident from years before. Also, Merry's worry about his friends came off very well. I liked it when he thought that Pippin might have climbed at tree for some reason along the way. Irrational fear to cover his real fears.
Author's reply
Sam definitely would not be well-disposed to anyone who had lifted a hand to his Mr. Frodo, however long ago it might have been. Although personally, I think I might prefer a minor beating to being dragged home by one ear!
Merry had to have been frantic. I'm sure given enough time he could have come up with even more disasters that could have happened. I wanted to bring up the tree climbing, because I had mentioned it earlier in the story, and I'm glad it came off well.
FantasyFan
· 14 April 2004
· Chapter 24
I am enjoying the characterizations you have added to flesh out the story Tolkien gives us. Merry is so in control, organized, a worrier, planning ahead for everything that he can. No surprise he's figured out six ways that Frodo and company could be delayed, and that one of them involves Pip climbing a tree. I loved his observation that Sam never gets sick, Sam's comment that Pippin is a bottomless pit when it comes to food, and the easy way Frodo turns on the charm for Farmer Maggot's wife. It's fun to read a story where the famliar scenes play out as if through he eyes of a new observer.
Author's reply
Thank you. I knew that if I didn't do the parts with the walking party from differing POVs, that all I would be doing was just quoting big chunks of FOTR; it's been very hard to know what to quote and what to add.
Yes, Merry is the practical one, a "long thinker"--but he is so protective that he worries himself to death. Six? Really? I didn't count them, I just put them in as they came to me.
I thought Mrs. Maggot deserved a little flattery; imagine those big blue eyes focused on her. She appreciated it enough to put up the extra mushrooms! 8-)
Grey Wonderer
· 13 April 2004
· Chapter 23
A very nice job of weaving the book into your fiction! It all blends together so perfectly and I am still enjoying this one very much.
Author's reply
Thank you. This has been the hardest challenge of the story--what to quote, where to quote it, and how much. Of course the closer to the end I get, the more I have to do it. I am glad that you think I am blending it well--it's made me very nervous. ( I can imagine an indignant JRRT thinking "she's got some nerve messing about with my words like that!" )
Pervinca
· 13 April 2004
· Chapter 23
Hehehehe, Pippin getting drunk off the drink the elves gave them :) The scene I particularly enjoyed in this chapter was Fatty's contemplation about the differing opinions of death. I never thought about how the hobbits regarded death, so you made a very interesting point there. I don't want this story to end, but I'm guessing you're nearing the conclusion. Please continue soon :)
Author's reply
It's pretty sure from the description that it was some kind of Elven mead--I think it might have had a nice little effect, especially on the youngest one.
Fatty had just read about Numenor, and I remember my reactions about it when I first read of it. Tolkien's idea that death was a gift from Illuvatar is so profound, it really made an impression on me.
And yes, I am drawing near to the finish line. These last few chapters have been hard. But now I have a bunch of new ideas. 8-)
Lyta Padfoot
· 13 April 2004
· Chapter 23
Fredregar's observation on how others view death was very well written. You really have your characterization down to an art.
Author's reply
Thank you, I'm not sure I can take credit. Fredegar has seemed to have developed himself--I start writing about him and then think where did that come from?
He is a scholar and philosopher, so he would be thinking about what he had read. The downfall of Numenor is so central to all of JRRT's work, I wanted to bring it in a bit.
Pervinca
· 10 April 2004
· Chapter 22
Very, very clever, working Bombadil and Aragorn's assistance to the hobbits into this chapter. You've written the elves as well as you have written the hobbits! I absolutely loved the Brandy Hall scene between Fredegar and Celandine. I think that she would be every bit as flirtatious as you have made her (in fact, I enjoy pairing her with Peregrin :P). It will be interesting to see how you use Merry's little slip-up in his father's study.
Author's reply
Thank you. We know that both Bombadil and Aragorn had heard about the hobbits' plight, and the assumption has always been that it was somehow from Gildor. I just made it more than an assumption. I'm glad you liked the way I wrote the Elves; I was a bit nervous about that. (Trying to avoid OCs when possible, I needed names for the messengers, though. I just ran random words through one of those online Elvish name generators until I got three that sounded right.
So if they are not quite right, that's why; I'm not an Elvish scholar.)
I wanted to do a little flirting scene involving Fredegar, and I remembered Celandine from the family tree, but when I went to check her, I saw she would have been way too young for Fatty. But this actually made it better. I don't know that hobbits would use the term "jail bait", but I was sure there would be the hobbitly equivalent of the concept. There's no actual explanation for how the age difference thing works, but I figure Pip at 28 is about the equivalent of around 16 or 17, which would make Celandine at 24 about equal to 13 or 14. Anyway, she's underage. Good old Merry to the rescue. Again.
Merry's little slip up? Well, that might actually be another story. 8-)
Grey Wonderer
· 10 April 2004
· Chapter 22
Yet another wonderful chapter. Where do I start? I thought that you did a wonderful job of showing Merry's concern for his parents and how homesick he was. I also enjoyed seeig Frodo and Pippin and Sam as the elves saw them. I like the way you chose to write that part of the chapter. It was less about Frodo's pov and more what the elves saw which is something new. Enjyed how careful Pippin was trying to be so that Frodo didn't know how frightened he was. This really is wonderful!
Author's reply
I realized when I came to this part, that when I was showing the walking party, it would have to be from a different POV, or I would just end up quoting huge chunks of FOTR, with nothing new to show for it. Since we are not told too much about what this group of Elves thought, it was ready made for me.
Pippin is already having to learn to control himself in order to make things easier for Frodo.
Merry knows what this will do to his parents. It just has to tear him up a little.
GamgeeFest
· 9 April 2004
· Chapter 22
Poor Merry! It's so hard not to cry in front of your mother sometimes, cuz you really just want to be cuddled and comforted, even if you are too old. But he kept it together wonderfully (though you really can never fool a mother, can you?)
So Gildor knew Sam was faking sleep! I never thought of him breaking up his traveling party to send out the messages, but that does make sense.
Great chapter. Keep it up!
Author's reply
It's pretty hard on Merry right now. I don't think he's in the habit of deceiving his parents on anything important, and also he knows how hard this is going to be on them, since he's an only child.
Gildor was one of the High Elves, and so was very perceptive (that's why I had him see the Fea) and I'm thinking that he would be able to tell when someone was asleep or not by that. I figured he sent out messengers because it would have taken too long for the whole party, while one or two runners could travel much more swiftly. I'm trying to tell the story of the walking party from a different POV than Tolkien used. Usually that's Pippin (because JRRT used mostly Frodo or Sam) but in this case, I decided to go with the elves.
I'm glad you liked the chapter. I posted it without my beta, because she told me she would be out of touch for a couple of days, and I really wanted to get at least one more chapter up for the weekend.
Pervinca
· 9 April 2004
· Chapter 21
Oh, poor Fatty. He'll certainly be in need of a very *large* second breakfast now! I really like the development of Merry and Fatty's friendship. It's a very good set-up to the fact that they will become brothers (through marriage) in the future. I can imagine that Fatty is very protective of his little sister, and only a lad he approved of would be allowed near her! I also enjoyed one particular line very much - about Esmeralda looking more like Pippin's mum than Merry's. Makes sense with her being a Took and all!
So very close, but I'll bet you'll be able to stretch it out for another few fabulous chapters! :)
Author's reply
It's already stretched out longer than *I* thought it would! 8-) I had no idea when I started it that it would go on for so many chapters, but the characters seem to have their own ideas. I do have a definite destination in mind, however.
eiluj
· 8 April 2004
· Chapter 21
Hi. I am muchly enjoying your three-dimensional Fatty Bolger, plus all the other details you are bringing into this story.
One FYI: even if Fatty has never been across the Brandywine before, it's likely Merry's parents would have met him at some point. If not through a cousin's or acquaintance's wedding or funeral or party, then at the Great Smials at some Tookish holiday or get-together.
Saradoc, Esmeralda, and Fatty's father Odovacar are all great-grandchildren of the Old Took, which makes them second cousins (and Merry and Fatty, third cousins). [And if you look through the family trees, you will find that several other Bolgers have married into the Bagginses and Tooks. But not the Brandybucks so far, so maybe Fatty wasn't the only Bolger who didn't want to cross the river....]
Author's reply
I thought about it for a while before I decided they had not yet met. It is possible that their paths had just not happened to cross, or that Fatty was too young to remember if they had. They are of different generations, so even if she had met his parents, she might not have met him.
And yes, I do think the "not across the River" thing might very well be somewhat of a family trait. I've got a couple of ideas about that, too, now.
Grey Wonderer
· 8 April 2004
· Chapter 21
You are doing a wonderful job of blending the book with your fiction. I felt so sorry for Fredegar when he was frightened of the river, but Merry knew just the perfect thing to say. I can't wait for more.
Author's reply
Thank you. That's the thing that's worried me most about this story.
I just keep finding out things about Fredegar--it's amazing, I really don't know where they come from, but they are just there.
Pervinca
· 7 April 2004
· Chapter 20
I was worried that you wouldn't have Pippin's little plan in this chapter! So very cute, and so very Pippin. I think that your story has made me love Fredegar even more - I absolutely *loved* the idea that his nickname had come from Estella!
Merry was so right in what he said to Fatty:
"You know it won’t be much longer until it all comes out.” :)
Author's reply
Oh, I had that for the end of this chapter since the *first* bed bouncing episode.
I always thought it odd for "Fatty" to be a nickname for a hobbit when it obviously would describe so very much of the population. But if it started out as something else, then the fact that he was a bit plumper than average might cause the nickname to stick later when the original reason no longer existed. And so many little ones do have a problem with the sound of "R".
Grey Wonderer
· 6 April 2004
· Chapter 20
Way to go, Pippin! I think that is a splendid plan as a house warming gift, considering who the new owners are. Fredegar is so wonderful in this chapter. He realy is thinking of everything that could help in any way. Frodo was very lucky to have him for a friend.
Author's reply
Yes, very appropriate for the S-B.s who are major pests themselves. 8-)
I'm having a lot of fun with Fredegar--he just keeps on showing me new sides to his personality.
Frodo inspired deep devotion in all who came to know him; his flaw was that he underestimated how much he was loved, and never considered himself as worthy enough.
GamgeeFest
· 6 April 2004
· Chapter 20
That devilish little Pippin! With a present like that, I'm surprised Lobelia wasn't waiting for them at Crickhollow to pay him back! And he gives "let them eat cake" a whole different meeting. I would be ill after that much junk food. No, after just half that much junk food.
Can't wait for the conspiracy to be unmasked. Which is silly, since I don't have to, I can just read the book, but I want to see your version of it. Update soon!
Author's reply
Lotho should have waited. Merry warned him. 8-) Actually, I wanted Pippin to leave a lot more "surprises", but I realized that it would have been over the top. ( You may have noticed that I sort have it in for the S-B.s. I always was a bit disappointed that Lotho got his just desserts "off-stage" so to speak.)
I warned everybody that Pip has a sweet tooth! Also, I think he might be a bit hyper. [VBG]
The closer I get to the unmasking, the slower it goes; it's so hard to decide which details from the book to bring in and which leave out, and I keep getting sidetracked by discovering new things about the characters.
Pervinca
· 5 April 2004
· Chapter 19
Awww, the gift-giving was so sad! Even though I *know* Merry and Pippin will be going with them, it was just so sad having Frodo give them some of his most treasured possessions. And Sam's present was wonderful - so touching. You actually managed to make me cry with this chapter - which is a bit of an achievement, so congratulations there :)
Author's reply
Thank you. I guess it's good to make someone cry?
Really, what made it sad to me was that Merry and Pippin knew, too, why they were getting those gifts, and could not let on.
I think Frodo gives up his treasures for the same reason he sold Bag End to the S-B.s He is cutting the ties that bind him to the Shire, so that he won't be so afraid to go.
Grey Wonderer
· 5 April 2004
· Chapter 19
I loved the story about Pippin and the one about Merry! So funny and so like small children. Reminded me of a friend's little girl as I read them. I was very pleased when you had Frodo give Falco the flute. That was so perfect. This is still a splendid story and of everything that I am reading currently, this is the one I most look forward to updates of. You are doing a wonderful job of filling in the missing moments.
Author's reply
Thank you very much. Really, that is all I'm trying to do, is fill in the moments. I've somehow discovered so many more than I anticipated, and I'm rather surprising myself with how the story grows--I can see how writing these stories becomes addictive!
eiluj
· 4 April 2004
· Chapter 19
I liked that the "toy" flute Frodo received as a teen from Bilbo was such an excellent instrument Folco was impressed by it.
Sam attending parts of the party was a perfect answer to that difficult question.
And I imagine there are many of us who will have a better idea of why Pippin kept hanging onto that scarf all the way to Gondor.
And through all the story, the worry about Gandalf....
Author's reply
Well, it *was* of dwarven make! I'm not quite sure of where the idea of Folco playing a flute came from, but it just felt right. And then of course, I knew what his gift would be.
I did want the scarf to be from Frodo, and then it finally hit me what would make it special.
And the worry about Gandalf--well, I can't take credit for that, but I hope that I brought it in enough. It's canon, after all.
GamgeeFest
· 4 April 2004
· Chapter 19
Embarrasing childhood stories! Those were hilarious. They had me rolling. There's nothing that will cheer you up more than embarrasing your family members. Loved the presents also. Frodo was giving his most treasured gifts away in case he never came back. Wonderful chapter!
Author's reply
Oh, yes. It does cheer one up to embarass others! Of course, that's precisely why Pippin planned it that way. And who hasn't known toddlers who have done one or both, of those things. One of our neighbors had a two year old that just shed his clothes every chance he got. And showing off one's accomplishments when learning the difficult art of using the toilet is always good for a chuckle.
And of course, Frodo is still making his sacrifices; I think he believed from the start that he would never come back. It took Sam to prove him wrong.