xsilicax · 20 January 2004 · Chapter 1: The Hunter
Bill the rat...oh it's fantastic! I'm sure she loved it too. This was absolutely brilliant! Your description of the chase was *extremely* amusing; I can well understand Glorfindel's ire with the pesky creature. Needless to say it would of course be the twins' bedroom it escapes into - they've probably been feeding it on the sly anyway. I loved Elrohir's reaction to the rat's 'death' though I rather think I would have been jumping for joy and screaming 'get it out of here!' Oh and don't worry about the length, I thought it just right and you ended it perfectly -that was a lovely line about the balrogs. And also a great opening too. There was one place where I got a little confused: "Squeak?" Elrohir beamed. "Hello!" He replied cheerfully. When I read that I see it as Elrohir saying "squeak" and the rat replying "hello." I think 'Elrohir beamed' should be mixed in with the 'cheerful reply' bit. Other than that, this was a wonderful read! Cathy, xx