Grey Wonderer
· 19 December 2003
· Chapter 11: In Remembrance
I have been reading this one and it gets more interesting with each new chapter. The little boats with their candles sound like such a lovely tribute and remind me of the luminaries that are lit here for those that have died of cancer suring our yearly walk for cancer. I could picture all of the little boats floating in the water. You discribe it so well.
Author's reply
Thank you! I appreciate the review. The luminaries sound beautiful, and sad somehow. I've lost grandfather, father, aunt, and brother to cancer. I have used "Remembering Day" in several stories, and it is beginning to seem the most natural thing in the world. Wonder what people would do if anybody set floating candles on the river for real?
Have been enjoying (in an angsty kind of way) Pippin's knock on the noggin in your current story. Hope he gets his memory back soon... poor Merry!
FantasyFan
· 17 December 2003
· Chapter 10: Driving a Bargain
Oh, young Hally is here! How wonderful! Opening a chapter of one of your wonderfully-entertwined stories is like opening a Christmas box with another piece for a treasured collection. Each new bauble has its own facets, and it fits together with the others to make a sparkling whole. And not an old mathom in the bunch! So will this be Rosemary's story as well as Pearl's?
Lalia intends to drive a hard bargain with Gundavar. Hopefully he is confident enough of his and Hally's skills to know what he can and can't do. Or will she go so far as to make it difficult for him in order to escape payment? I can't tell if Pearl was there for this conversation with the Bolgers or not - did she stay with the mistress after she returned to the study as she did the previous day, or was business first on this day and the outing just before noon? If she was there, how many of the subtleties does she understand? If she doesn't now, I imagine she soon will. Most likely, nobody hears more than the companion to the Mistress, quietly sitting by with the shawl and water pitcher, and unnoticed by any of the important people taking part in the conversations.
Pearl can hold her own with the other girls in the dormitory, but she is going to have to modify her schedule a bit. She won't be able to be up with the dairymaids if she's got to also be sharp for her duties towards the mistress for hours after sundown. Might be tough to modify years of ingrained habit. (I find changing sleep schedules very difficult. I've always been a morning person; today I'm dragging after staying up late last night at the movies. Three hours of sleep just doesn't do it for me, and I can sympathize with Pearl.)
Author's reply
I was going through and answering reviews, and I saw this one without an answer from long ago. (I also can tell that this story was deleted and restored from backup a few years after it was posted, and I wonder if maybe that explains why so many review replies are missing? Because I seem to remember making an effort to reply to reviews consistently to show my appreciation!)
It has been awhile. I miss "hearing" your insights and snippets about life. Quite often, you uncovered elements I wasn't even aware of, and sometimes you shaped the direction of a character's development or an aspect of the plot. I hope that not hearing from you means you're well and busy and have moved on to other interests. In other words, what I mean to say is if you ever come by this way again and read this reply, I hope it finds you and yours well.
Lyta Padfoot
· 15 December 2003
· Chapter 9: Day's End
The thoughts on dresses made me laugh - I just did laundry and saw for myself how many clothes I actually own. Funny, it never seems like that many when I need an outfit for the day... Pearl's attitude surprised me a bit until my brain supplied information on how precious cloth was in the past and that a girl of Pearl's background would not have more than a handful of homemade clothes. You excell at picking up on those details; another excellent chapter.
Author's reply
Yes, when you think of all the work it took to produce cloth in those days, not to mention hand-sewing every garment, it would be no wonder that a farm girl would feel rich to have a "company and visiting dress" in addition to her everyday dress. I had to think for a bit before I figured out how they'd handle washday. What would they change into? Then I remembered that they probably would have some sort of nearly-worn-out clothes for especially dirty work, or to wear when the other outfit was being washed. In pioneer days, ladies wore the same dress daily, sponging away dirt or odor if need be. To freshen up, they'd change to a fresh apron, not a fresh outfit. How spoilt the Smials Tooks are, and they don't even know it!
How sad about Esmeralda's sister. I'm glad I already know that Ferdi makes a recovery of sorts. Poor Rosemary - she is trying so hard to be strong for her brother that she risks a tumble herself.
Author's reply
A recovery "of sorts"? Do you mean that Ferdi's still daft after this incident? (Well, in the minds of the other Tooks, perhaps he is)
Rosemary is a dear, and she will get her reward, in time.
FantasyFan
· 15 December 2003
· Chapter 9: Day's End
I think you have an error in the ninth paragraph of this chapter - you have done my favorite trick and confused Elegantine with Esmeralda. Or perhaps Pearl's mum has popped in to make sure her daughter is suitably dressed?
I am glad Aunt Esme is looking out for Pearl - and I am surprised she did not think to add a small bit of lace to her own dress to reinforce the new fashion. I am sure Pearl will be able to find her own way of dealing with her high-born relations, eventually, but the extra protection is nice for now when she is not settled yet. Speaking of those relations, I don't think I like Ferumbras' close regard of Pearl and her costume. It might have helped her out here, and its not likely Pearl can keep a low profile while waiting on his mother, but.... it feels uncomfortable. Yet he did and said absolutely nothing unfitting. I tried imagining Pippin-as-Thain in the same scene with a new girl, and he might not have done much different - a few gentle quips to put her at ease, enough to let her know she is seen with favor, but then I am sure someone else would have walked her to her room. Perhaps it is the awkward relationship between Ferumbras and his mother that makes any interaction uncomfortable. "Of course I don’t need you" is not something I would say to any of my children, I hope.
Author's reply
Error fixed, thank you for pointing it out. I often confuse Thain Paladin and Thain Peregrin, as well.
Ah, the good aunt ought to have thought of adding lace to her own dress. Perhaps she will in the revision. My editor is on vacation until after the holidays, so we shall see.
You have good instincts to have picked up on a future plot point that was (I hope) very subtly introduced.
FantasyFan
· 15 December 2003
· Chapter 8: Bittersweet Reunion
I am glad to see you back after your enforced vacation. I hope your cold is better too - I think we will have the flu for Christmas at our house, if I read the signs aright.
I am intrigued by your story of Esmeralda's older sister. Of course, there are no details in canon, not even the poor girl's name, so all must be from your imagination. Will the story of what happened to cause her trouble come out? Do you have stories for the other two unnamed girls as well - do you think they also died young? And are the Tooks prone to this kind of illness as a result of trauma? - no, Bittersweet says she has heard of only one other case. Merry cannot face greeting poor Ferdi. He is young, and hasn't had much pain in his life to deal with yet. But I know what he feels like - I am no good myself at hospital visits. There are never the right words to say.
Ferdi we know will recover, of course. But from the level of his dissociation here, that recovery looks to be slow. I wonder what it will be that brings him out of it. His sister has not been able to, although perhaps it just needs time. Would a visit from Nell at Yule? Ah, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Author's reply
Thank you for the kind words. I am glad, too. Computers are such a mixed blessing--difficult to live with, nearly impossible to live without.
Flu for Christmas? What a shame! (One of my brothers always got sick at Christmas. Since he shared a bedroom, that meant he always had to sleep on the couch on Christmas eve. How frustrating for the rest of us that he always had opportunity to catch Santa at work, but always slept through it all and couldn't tell us how the presents came to be under the tree or how the stockings got filled.
Paladin and Esmeralda's older sister exists in the sketchiest of outlines at the moment. The other two girls did not die young--some of the mischievous cousins who lead Pippin's son Faramir astray are descended from one of these two, who married a "Smials Took" and moved back to the Smials before Paladin became Thain, though you may not see her in this story. Pearl, despite the fact she's a niece, is only a farm girl in the eyes of her snobbish aunt.
Merry will have a touch of this same trouble in "Jewels", after Ruby dies. (Is it something about drowning?) Perhaps it will help him to understand Ferdi better, and accept his weakness. According to events in "Flames", the two friends are estranged until Merry returns to the Great Smials for a visit after Ruby's death.
As to what brings Ferdi out of it... well, that remains to be seen, but rest assured, it *will* occur in this story.
FantasyFan
· 8 December 2003
· Chapter 7: A Busy Morning
Thank goodness for Merry and the Brandybucks! I wonder if they will extend their stay at the Smials to make sure that Pearl is well settled in? As much as Lalia seems to be testing Pearl to see how she will handle her new place, Merry knows just what to do to make her feel cared for and understood. But there is a bit of a soft spot even for Lalia, who can't comfortably go out in the air, and doesn't see as well as she pretends. If Pearl can keep that note of sympathy and a little bit of control, she'll be all right. I'm wondering what will happen when the Brandybucks finally go home, and Pearl's best friends are Rosemary and Ferdi?
Author's reply
I know the Brandybucks are to stay at least a week. They might extend their visit to two weeks, but need to be back in Buckland for Remembering Day on the 2nd of November.
As far as the future... the story is outlined, but not yet written. There's something about the holidays... all the extra goings-on have eaten most of my "free time", and one does have to sleep, for some reason.
But if I can carve a few hours this week for writing, you'll get to see what happens when the Brandybucks finally go home.
Lyta Padfoot
· 8 December 2003
· Chapter 7: A Busy Morning
I agree with Paladin on this one - I'd want my daughter (assuming I am ever blessed enough to have one) to use her head and not her body. I like the seamstress hobit, poor thing, I imagine Pearl must be a pleasure to help after all the stiffer necked Tooks.
Author's reply
Definitely! It is nice that the Brandybucks are more practical than the Tooks. Probably because they're a much younger branch, you know. Brandy Hall hasn't been around all that long, compared to the Great Smials. Bunch of upstarts... and of course, Esmeralda is not a "Smials Took" herself, which gives her some perspective.
FantasyFan
· 4 December 2003
· Chapter 6: The Mistress of Tookland
I love the comparison of Lalia the Fat to the old, bad-tempered sow. Hopefully Pearl's common-sense upbringing will stand her well dealing with this new class of Tooks. Probably nothing could prepare her, however, for the Talk and for a degree of mean-spiritedness she's never been exposed to. Starting off by insulting her best dress, after Merry complemented her (and Frodo too) had to leave her feeling a little vulnerable, which was I am sure the intention. But Pearl has some spunk and her own brand of Tookish stubbornness, softened as it is with a smile. Looking forward to the first challenge: I am sure one is to come.
Author's reply
I think Pearl is equal to Lalia and the Tooks... she has, after all, been dealing with the old sow and the cow with the crooked horn and silly ducks and stubborn ponies and temperamental chickens--roosters can be quite unpleasant! She has learned to manage people pleasantly but firmly, without appearing to manage most of the time (for Pip, if he thought he was being managed, would never cooperate!)
All is not nice, neat and cosy, however. (See upcoming chapters for more)
Arwen Evenstar
· 4 December 2003
· Chapter 1: Guess Who's Coming to Tea?
This is a GOOD story mmm..I wounder what the next Chapter is like. O ya, is Da's , Dad?
Author's reply
Why, thank you very much! The next chapter will be posted today or tomorrow, I hope, as soon as I finish cleaning up the rough draft.
"Da" is "Dad" as you surmised.
Lyta Padfoot
· 4 December 2003
· Chapter 6: The Mistress of Tookland
Poor Pearl - Lalia reminds me of those old Southern Dowagers who loved keeping their family members under their thumbs and were slightly mad.
Author's reply
Actually, I was thinking of a combination of people I've known and that I've read about. A grandmother, a couple of neighbours; the Captain's widow in Anne of Green Gables, a few other fictional characters... names not mentioned, of course, to protect this writer...
Janice P.
· 3 December 2003
· Chapter 5: Transitions
I love all of your stories, but I really like the way this one is developing. There have been references to the previous Thain's nasty mother in your (and I think other) stories. It looks like we are going to get a good, first hand look. I like the 'tude your Tooks show. I enjoy how you weave your stories together so carefully, picking up details from one to fit another.
Your language and grammar are carefully constructed, making reading your stories an enjoyable experience. The research you have put into what Tolkien provided gives a good base. The stories you have created for minor characters, making them major characters, are wonderful! There is a richness to the "world" you have appended onto JRR's that is an honest tribute to the books we know and love.
Thank you, and keep writing!
FantasyFan
· 3 December 2003
· Chapter 5: Transitions
I'm a little geographically challenged. Where is Paladin's farm, anyway? On my map, Whitwell and Tuckborough are pretty close together, and connected. And I thought there was a road between Bywater and Tuckborough - or is it just that it hasn't been built yet? To go around via Frogmorton and Stock seems a mighty long way out of the way indeed. Maybe I'll try to find a better map.
A few random thoughts: Why did you change the rating to PG? is Lalia really going to be that nasty? In the other chapter, I noticed Paladin edited the story of how Ferdi's mother died when he told it to his family - speak no ill of the dead indeed. I like the way Vinca is just a bit less sympathetic than Pearl or Nell: just the same as when they've grown up. And I like that little Pip is so focused on what he's doing right now that he has no idea what is going on next week. He's so open and innocent here, and I've always thought he was the most softhearted hobbit. Why did Frodo tell Will tea was on in the parlor, then direct him to the kitchen? The tea in the parlor remark was intended for Paladin and company, but they're still in the coach at the time? I'm happy Frodo's appreciative of the way Pearl's 'cleaned up' so to speak. He's just come of age, so he ought to notice a pretty girl, even if she is his second cousin once removed on his mother's side (and especially when there aren't any old aunties around ready to try matchmaking).
I'm not really fond of the way this paragraph reads:
Pippin perked up at once, causing her to congratulate herself on her healing skills, though of course, anyone, even a dying old gaffer, would have perked up after a dose of that horrid stuff. I’m sure you remember it from your own younger days, don’t you?
Having the last sentence adressed directly to the reader is jarring to me. I'd rather see Elegantine congratulating herself on her healing skills, and Pippin congratulating himself on having the wits to avoid another dose. Or something.
Last comment. Elegantine seems to have a bad feeling about this, but I don't think poor Pearl has any idea what she's getting into. We'll see what happens tomorrow!
Author's reply
Thanks for the review! I am using the map from "The Atlas of Middle Earth". If you are travelling from Bywater to Michel Delving, there is a road that branches southwards from Waymeet, I think (am doing this from memory, book is not at hand--it was a library book and I am on the wait list again). Whitwell is on that road, about on a line with Tookbank and Tuckborough. From Whitwell you can take a road east to Tookbank but the road ends there.
I don't know why Tolkien didn't put a road between Bywater and Tuckborough, but he didn't. I did, as an innovation got up between Thain Pippin and Mayor Sam, and probably other fanfic writers have as well.
If you look at the map of "A Part of the Shire" in Volume I--in my book it is just before Book 1--you will see a bit more clearly perhaps. The little clump of dwellings that is unlabelled on this map, at the juncture of the road going south to Longbottom and Sarn Ford and the road going east to Tookbank, anyhow, this little clump of dwellings is labelled "Whitwell" in the Atlas of ME.
The rating change reflects my own uneasiness at the thought of my 7yo reading about a mother trying to drown her own children, what a horrid thought to put in a little one's head! ...as the "true story" of the death of Ferdi and Rosemary's mother will come out in a later chapter. There is also a bit of suggestive stuff later on in the rough draft (not sure if it will make it to the final, depends on how the plot flows), involving Ferumbras, mild by today's standards I'm sure, but not something I would necessarily let my 7yo read (her idea of sex is the kiss between Cindrella and the Prince, and that's fine for now. She is not often in the position of having to worry about sexual harassment quite yet, and even when she plays with neighbour boys her big sis or her mom watches over the play, and she has had the standard "good touch" / "bad touch" lecture just to be sure--sad, ain't it?).
Was not happy about the "tonic" paragraph myself and am hoping my editor will help me smooth it out.
'Tea's just on in the parlour' was directed to the visitors who were peering out of the windows of the coach preparatory to exiting, and they would have expected the driver to have his tea in the kitchen with the rest of the hired help. Will would have understood this and not been offended. Perhaps I'll re-write Frodo's greeting anyhow if it's not clear.
Lyta Padfoot
· 2 December 2003
· Chapter 5: Transitions
If I may suggest a title for this chapter, I'd call it "Transitions" as all the characters seem to be doing just that - Pearl, Pippin, Frodo, even the Brandybucks are transitioning from life travelling to being guests again. Poor Pippin, Pearl seems the sister closest to him in terms of personality. The bit about Bilbo throwing Frodo to the Tooks while he escaped made me fall off my chair! Pearl didn't seem as nervous as I might expect, but then I doubt it has really sunk in yet that she's going to be there for more than a visit. You are setting up Lalia well, can't wait to finally meet her as I suspect Pearl will find her more trying than any cow. Cows don't talk.
Author's reply
Thank you! "Transitions" just might suit.
Pearl isn't too nervous yet, but then she hasn't heard much about Lalia. I believe her parents don't engage much in the national pastime of Tookland--gossip. As a matter of fact, it will come out later that Paladin Took told a deliberate falsehood about the end of Ferdibrand's mother, knowing that it would spread as gossip and then be more or less forgotten as one of those sad events in life, whereas the real scandal would have been whispered about for years...
The Brandybucks didn't want to fill her head full of fears and fancies and so were very careful in what they told her.
You ought to be meeting Lalia in the next chapter, I think I've done all the filling in of details that the rough draft left out at this point in the story.
Lyta Padfoot
· 1 December 2003
· Chapter 4: A Difficult Decision
Paladin's thoughts while watching Merry and Pippin made my eyes water. He needs a hug!
Lyta Padfoot
· 1 December 2003
· Chapter 3: Message from the Thain
Sigh, I like Paladin the Farmer better than Thain Paladin. His roughness is tempered with warmth and far more understanding than in later years. I hope you do a story about Paladin's elevation to Thain, its such an important event in the lives of Pippin and his siblings. Poor Pearl, Lalia sounds like a hard hobbit to serve. I hope Rosemary doesn't attract the eye of the Thain - or his mother.
Author's reply
I have to admit to liking Paladin the Farmer very much better than Paladin the Thain, at least as I've written him in most of my stories. *sigh*
FantasyFan
· 30 November 2003
· Chapter 2: The Grim Reaper
Another strongly drawn point of view of one of the events in your wonderfully woven together storyline. Little Pip is very much the charmer. He gets his mother to butter his bread for him, and he shirks as many chores as possible, but nobody scolds him. It's funny to think he could have been the one to teach his son how to squirt milk at a cat, had things turned out differently.
The emotions are nicely done here, from Paladin's annoyance at the very beginning to his grief at the end. Nell's sense of loss is especially bruising, and it gives us a hint at how far back her feelings for Ferdi go. It's a little hard to reconcile Paladin's perception here with the later Thain who sniffed around Odo for hints on the Bolger sucession and gleefully thought of controlling the quarry and Bolger fortune. I understand Ferdi's future went down the drain with the fire and what happened afterward, but maybe we can see in this story a little of what made Paladin into the person he became later.
The only thing I am left wondering about is why did someone send a letter to Paladin by quick post and make him go to the Smials right at harvest? By the time he got there, it would have all been over. Did they want him for the funeral, or was there some other reason? I can't bring to mind now exactly how close the family relationship was. Was it for a council to decide what to do with the children? Lalia has her finger firmly on that decision. I guess I would have expected someone from the family to ride out and give him the bad news in person if telling him what had happened was all there was to it.
Author's reply
I'm not sure you'll see as much of Paladin's transformation as you wish... this particular story does not go as far as his becoming Thain, and that is when he changed the most.
Paladin didn't go to the Smials, but to Ferdinand's property on the Water (probably in or just west of the region of Bridgefields), thinking Ferdinand had burned to death in a fire along with his brother Ferdibrand (that's what the hastily scrawled message brought by the quick post rider said). He was "Merry" to Ferdinand's "Pippin", does that clear things up for you? That comes out in the next chapter, or at least, it is mentioned. Their grandfathers might easily have been close friends in the Smials, deciding to leave at the same time to make their own way and raise their children out of the Smials, but stayed in touch, much as Merry and Pippin would have stayed in touch even when they had to live so far apart in later years, with frequent letters and visits. Forgive me if I ramble, I am tired, and have to get off the internet any moment.
Thus Paladin left in the midst of harvest and stayed more than a day, though he could ill afford the time. Only when it appeared that Ferdinand might survive his injuries, and that Lalia had arranged for his care, and Ferdi's, at the Smials (something Paladin's family might not have the rescources to do), and of course Rosemary would want to be with her father and brother -- anyhow, once these issues were settled he reluctantly left his friend's side to return to the harvest.
FantasyFan
· 30 November 2003
· Chapter 99999: Story Notes - Finished!
As far as F. being Thain or not, you are probably right that it makes very little difference. He held the title, but not the power by any sense of the word. Tolkien implies that he was thoroughly overshadowed by his mother, extending even to not being able to find a wife despite his prospects (or because of hers). I imagine after a while, he refused to marry to spite her: he would have the control in the end, even if it meant the end of his line ( a classic passive-agressive stance). What the rest of the Tooks thought of him is more of a mystery. She was respected if not universally beloved, but it's up to you if he was treated with pity, contempt, a grudging admiration, or barely tolerated.
Author's reply
I know I've said elsewhere how much I've appreciated hearing your insights and explorations of themes and characters, but I just wanted to say it again. Thank you so much. (((hugs)))
Lyta Padfoot
· 30 November 2003
· Chapter 2: The Grim Reaper
Poor Ferdi. No wonder Rosemary is so protective of him. Pippin's recounting of Paladin's recieving of the message reminded me of the phone call my father got to tell him that my grandparents had just been killed in an accident. He didn't have to say a thing, we all knew someone had died it was only a matter of who and how. Thats a tricky thing to capture in a story, but you did it well. And for a bonus more on Ferdi's past and his connection to Pimpernel.
Author's reply
Thanks for the review! I feel for your father, to lose both parents at once, and so unexpectedly. Each of my parents died after a long illness, which gave us time to prepare, though it was still difficult of course. We had a similar experience (the sudden shock, and knowing someone had died but not who) when my father's uncle died not long after he'd visited us. The phone call came in the middle of the night, and our father left on the first plane he could catch.
In future chapters you'll understand more about the Tooks' later attitude towards Ferdi, poor lad. It is good to be writing this *after* I know how he turns out in later stories.
Tim the Enchanter aka Lyta Padfoot
· 29 November 2003
· Chapter 1: Guess Who's Coming to Tea?
I love Young Pippin stories. Can't wait to see more on Pearl since she isn't present much in your later stories. Farmer Paladin is also a nice change. This should be an interesting tale to watch grow and bloom.
Author's reply
O I just caught the name change this minute, isn't that funny?
Young Pippin is fun to write, though he probably won't appear much once we get to the Great Smials except for an occasional visit perhaps. Still, hope to keep folk entertained anyhow. Just imagine him in the background, back home at the farm, getting into all sorts of mischief.
FantasyFan
· 29 November 2003
· Chapter 99999: Story Notes - Finished!
Actually, you were right the first time, he is the Thain. He succeeded to that title on the death of his father in 1380, but until the death of his mother in 1402 he was not the head of the family. Whether or not he would claim the title of "the Took" I am unsure, I would guess not. The descent of the title Thain is the footnote No. 7 to Letter 214 (bottom of page 295 in my edition). I would imagine that he has an escort as you described, but no more power than a bachelor son who was not yet Thain.