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| More Dangerous and Less Wise by daw the minstrel | 22 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| If I want to 'manipulate' your behavior, I will tell you. Beliond has a very ... direct ... idea of manipulation! Although I'm not surprised - when it comes to subtlety, he is remarkably obvious. Just going to see Arriel, nothing else - hmm! I love young, wild, careless Beliond - who has a pleasing knack for alliteration - and I'm sad for the events in his life that turned him into a suspicious loner. Legolas is good for him - and I would love to see the pair of them roaming the woods of the Blessed Realm. Beliond and Maltanaur are a delight in the trees - and their cunning plan worked up to point - but do they really want to be lumbered with Stubby Beard? I'm not sure Thranduil appreciated the gift at first - he has a better idea of political ramifications than his friends. Although I daresay the kick was a good way to get him to overcome his doubts. And they're in the gorge? Maybe there's a way here for Thranduil to come out as a hero - and for Stubby to look a total ... idiot. Just like Legolas and Eilian, I delight in these looks back into the earlier lives of the keepers and their king. Author Reply: when it comes to subtlety, he is remarkably obvious. Just going to see Arriel, nothing else - hmm! LOL. I know. I don't write comedy very often, so when I do, it's so much fun to remember how insanely broad one can be in that genre. When I planned the raid on the Dwarf camp, I made a list of daring things they could do and then used as many as I could, though there are still a few I'd have liked to arrange. I just didn't have the right props on hand. Thranduil did a good thing for Beliond when he put Legolas into his care. Beliond needed to come back to society again and to let himself love someone else. Thanks for the review, Bodkin. | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Wow, it's a shame we've finally been subjected to the scourge of fanfic.net - the anonymous "helpful" concritter. Take a look around, friend - do you see any other anonymous concritting reviewers on SoA? It's considered courteous here to sign your name to the e-mail if you'd like to pass along some helpful writing tips - or e-mail privately. | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| It's quite enlightening to see Beliond from Maltanaur's point of view, and vice versa! Interestingly, neither seems to have changed much LOL. Pity Thranduil for not having anyone to stick up for him. It was a kick to see these guys in their younger-and-definitely-not-wiser days. Especially Thranduil. Interesting how even then, he was starting to sober under the weight of his responsibilities. He had the longest journey of all of them, I think. Author Reply: I'm so glad you said that about Beliond and Maltanaur. Beliond is easy and fun to write. I just have him say, do, and think stuff that I would never say, do, or think. But Maltanaur is trickier because he's more balanced and strategic, but he's still a young wood-elf. Now Thranduil has to loosen up a little to fit in with his people and he never quite makes it all the way, but I think he's a happier person for what he does manage. Of course, his wife helped too. Thanks for the review, Meckinock. | |
| Elflingimp | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Arg! I want to hear the rest!!!LOL! the Dwarf folded like a fallen foes war banner? That was my favorite line. However do you think of all this? It is simply great! I love it. Hugs The Imp Author Reply: You're so kind, Elflingimp. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. There's not much more. Another chapter, I think. I've been writing about what Beliond and Eilian find, and now I have to fish Thranduil back out of that gorge and reunite everyone. Soon! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Cutting this with Thranduil taking a tumble is better. Good choice. I like seeing Beliond and Maltanaur and Thranduil in their early days. Once can understand their suspicion of dwarves. I like Beliond telling Eilian he will let him know if he is manipulating his behavior. LOL. Author Reply: Cutting all this stuff together, with tonal differences included, is hard. Or maybe not wise to try? LOL Beliond makes me laugh even when I write his lines. | |
| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Oh, I LOVED this chapter! I was laughing right from the opening when we’re back with Legolas and Maltanaur but in the middle of the same story. You did that so well. That was a really interesting moment when Legolas wonders if he’s said too much about Thranduil. I know it becomes second nature to them all to keep stuff to themselves but it can’t be easy being so restrained about what happens at home all the time. Still, Maltanaur knows Thranduil even better than his sons do! I’m so intrigued by this glimpse of his younger days. The real problem came later after Beliond had his idea. LOL!! Stop confusing me! Laegcened tended to think Wood-elves did inexplicable things as a matter of course. Heh. I bet he does. Though something tells me he still wouldn’t believe they’d all gone swimming in a freezing river while still in their clothes. Beliond’s insults are hilarious. When he’s riled up no-one stands a chance! Thranduil’s attempts to suggest the elves weren’t exactly innocent were certainly squashed. Leaving Beliond on his own was a bad idea. You can say that again! Though tagging along might not improve matters, Maltanaur... They got stung again?? These two are incorrigible. But oh, what fun to watch them so carefree and full of mischief. And to think how they scold Eilian and Legolas for showing the slightest inclination towards doing something silly. The Dwarf camp actually sounds pretty cosy. I was almost sorry to think they were about to be disturbed. Almost ;-) I was desperately trying to figure out what Beliond and Maltanaur were up to – it was so hard to stop myself scrolling down to see! And wow, they’re good! I was totally engrossed in their bad deeds. Now, that’s teamwork at its best. And then they have no idea what to do with the Dwarf once they’ve captured him! LOLOL. It’s fascinating too to see the reactions from Legolas and Eilian. And I laughed so hard at Eilian’s sarcastic "You are joking" in answer to Beliond’s comment about Thranduil. Of course, both of them are distracted by what’s happening in the present too, which I thought was a nice insight into their character. And a good reminder on your part that it’s not all fun and games. So now Thranduil gets dragged into it. Not that he isn’t well able. And the cheek of that Dwarf to kick him! Oh, he’ll regret that. I kind of agree with Beliond too that they’re in it this far so they might as well enjoy themselves :-) I’m not sure he needed to be quite that eager to knock young Stubby out, though! Did Beliond just put a Dwarf in a tree?? I have to say, Amdir’s guard doesn’t seem remotely bothered by the goings-on. At least Oropher’s people aren’t boring guests... Then it broke, and both Thranduil and Stubby rolled down it, through the underbrush, and over the edge of the gorge. What? Holy crap! This adventure just gets Of course, Eilian’s right too to focus on what happened to the present-day Dwarves. The end sent a chill through me. Excellent chapter, daw. Author Reply: Geez, I just nearly gave myself a heart attack by clicking "delete this review" instead of reply. Thank goodness the site gave me a chance to think it over! As always, Dot, your review is most welcome. I'm having a good time writing from the keepers' POVs, though even I am having trouble keeping this straight sometimes. The raid on the Dwarf camp was especially fun to write because I could let them get absurdly Wood-elfy. And then they take Thranduil a present! How could he resist? Maybe they should have left Stubby in the tree. He'd never have been able to explain that one! I expect Amdir's guard is used to Wood-elves. He is one. And Oropher's gang has been here before, often enough that Beliond had a girlfriend here! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this when I know you're really busy. | |
| curiouswombat | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| I am really enjoying this 'cross-over fic'... It is a sign of how good your writing is that I find myself worrying, particularly about Eilian and Legolas' nana, even though I know that they live to fight another day. Author Reply: What a great compliment! One of the difficulties of putting fanfic characters in danger is that we know quite well, for instance, that Legolas is not going to die, not unless the author is writing AU, and I don't. So it can be hard to create tension. LOL about this as a cross-over. | |
| nessie6 | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Ahh love it! "He supposed they could tell the captain they'd decided to go for a swim. He might believe that. Laegcened tended to think Wood-elves did inexplicable things as a matter of course. " --Honestly? lol, does he really think Wood-Elves are THAT silly? "Beliond brightened. "We should take him to Thranduil. He may have talked about backing away, but I could tell he was angry by the way his teeth were grinding. This will cheer him up no end." --for some reason, this makes me a bit sad, because now Beliond is like the crabby old man of the group. Poor guy. He seems so care-free here. Stubby should've never kicked Thranduil. He's asking for whatever's coming for him. Stupid dwarf. I loved how Beliond thought Thranduil would make a great leaader because of his plan on framing the dwarf :D Yes, that is a quality an Elf-King must have :) Beliond's astonishment that he had disgusted a dwarf was funny too! Aaaand the branch breaks XD It was all Stubby's fault, obviously! Oooh, I hope they don't get caught! I'm just as eager as Eilian/Legolas is for Beliond/Maltanaur to finish the story! Glad you updated! Can't wait for the next one! Update asap! ~nessie~ Author Reply: does he really think Wood-Elves are THAT silly? LOL. I think Maltanaur may be being unduly optimistic here. The captain has spent enough time around Wood-elves to know that an innocent swim is probably not what these three were up to. Beliond is young and hopeful here. Life kicks him around some after this--what with Dagorlad, his son dying, his wife sailing. And then he spent all those years alone too much as one of Thranduil's spies. Legolas is good for him. Thranduil did a kind thing when he trusted Beliond with his son. Writing from the keepers' points of view is so much fun, especially Beliond. He thinks so differently than I do! | |
| Naledi | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Oh I am enjoying this! It must be a real eye-opener for Legolas and Eilian to hear about their elders behaving in a less than responsible manner. I've been having a giggle about the names the Elves have been assigning the Dwarves. First we had Stubby, now we have Fist-pounder. I'm just waiting for Grumpy and Dozy to make an appearance :) Author Reply: Oh man, I struggled with names for the Dwarves and finally resorted to the ones you have. I figured Thranduil and his buddies wouldn't know their real ones and I couldn't just keep saying "the Dwarf," "the other Dwarf," "the other other Dwarf." I'm glad it's amusing because it sure was practical. I suspect Eilian and Legolas are indeed blown away by this picture of their father and his friends. Thranduil is going be really annoyed! LOL | |
| Fantasia | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Daw, this is priceless, I have been laughing while reading, in my work! if they fire me because I'm having too much fun, it is the wood elves fault... You should write fanfics more often, I for sure, miss you a lot (I have been reading fanfics since 2003 and I miss the good ones). I know that you are in your way to become a famous writer, but your Mirkwood stories are the best of the entire fanfiction world. So, do not forget us when you have your novels published. (Post here when this happen, I'll buy it in a second) You know what I found most funny, this phrase: Laegcened and the Dwarves apparently thought alike. Poor Laegcened...and it show how suspicious are both races. Ah, when Beliond was surprised because he has disgusted a Dwarf...priceless. So, falling from a tree...I can't wait. Love how Beliond and Maltanaur have different versions of their adventures and how they feel sorry for Thranduil, a sindar and a prince, a poor repressed elf...Thanks, you have made my day, I'm glad to read a happy story. Author Reply: I'm so glad you like this, Fantasia. Looking at it now, it seems structurally flawed to me with odd tonal shifts, but I'm still having fun writing it. I miss these guys when I'm gone too long, and I, too, needed a happy story. Re reading at work, Scarlet Pendragon reviews me sometimes and she read "A Spring of Joy" at work. You may recall that's the story in which Sinnarn buys it. Well, she burst into tears in her cubicle and her boss showed up, all concerned, to ask what was wrong. SP said she got word a friend died, and her boss gave her the rest of the day off. Maybe you can get that for laughing too! The LOTR fandom does seem to be dying back. There are still good writers but far fewer than there used to be. Or maybe we're just harder to please. I know I am. I've seen most scenarios repeatedly by now whereas at first I was just enthralled by anything grammatical. Believe me, when/if I sell a novel, I'll shout the news everywhere I can! | |