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The River  by Indigo Bunting 19 Review(s)
ArielReviewed Chapter: 11 on 2/26/2006
All caught up and finding the story exceptionally captivating! You write action sequences very well and they keep me right in the moment. Eagerly awaiting the next installment.

Author Reply: Thanks, Ariel. :) I haven't had a chance to respond to your email yet, but I will. Excellent advice, and not what I was expecting! I tried to keep it in mind while writing this latest chapter. More than a few sentences bit the dust as a result, and I think the chapter is the better for it. I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

LarnerReviewed Chapter: 11 on 2/16/2006
Finally was able to read this.

A wonderfully suspenseful chase they've been given, and glad that Sam was able to think so clearly. And that he and Legolas could take advantage of the pool beneath the cliff was also wonderful.

As for our Gimli--OH, I love him! Just the right thoughts and the best possible POV for this action.

Author Reply: Thanks, Larner. Sorry for the belated reply. Every time I sat down at the computer with some time to work on the story, I thought, "Story, or reply to reviews? Story, or reply to reviews?" And "story" always won out.

I think Sam kept his head very well - until he stabbed Jakov, that is. Realizing what he had just done must have shocked him to his core. I'm glad you liked Gimli! He was fun to write. He wasn't easy, but he wasn't hard, either. I think maybe that's because there's so little written from his POV, both in canon and fanfiction. I'd love to see some more Gimli stories out there.

Aya_ShoruReviewed Chapter: 11 on 2/6/2006
oooh, please update please this is a great story, please update.

Author Reply: Thanks, Aya_Shoru! Sorry it's taken a few weeks, but the next chapter is finally done. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!

NightwingReviewed Chapter: 11 on 2/6/2006
Hello Indigo Bunting! Sorry I have taken so long to leave a review. I was knocked on my butt by an infected tooth and subsequent root canal, and have only recently risen to my feet again. It was quite interesting to read such an exciting chapter under a narcotic cloud.

And, whoooah, what a chapter! I think you do a good Gimli POV. He's not the easiest character to get into. I imagine he's got a lot of layers under the rough dwarven exterior. I liked as well the terrible choice Gandalf was forced to make, and the little interactions between the members of the Fellowship.

I feared I would not be happy getting back to the Fellowship after you left us with such a terrible cliffy, but you solved that little problem by having them witness what was happening to Sam and Legolas. Clever, and effective, as I was gasping right along with our friends as they watched the ordeal unfold. Sam did it! He did what he had to do, though it obviously shocked him to his core.

The fight scene was wonderfully detailed. I am with French Pony on the "dance" thing, simply because it is tremendously overused by fanfic writers when they describe Legolas fighting. But to your credit you did not rely on it, and you are obviously fully capable of writing a whopping good hand-to-hand. I was excited and biting my nails as I read it, which is just the effect you want to have on your readers. And there were also some very satisfying elf-worship moments, as when Legolas "strode forward purposefully, his face a merciless mask". Ohhh yeah, that's our warrior elf. And then he is gentle, trying to help Sam recover from his shock and horror.

And oh! The end was terrifying. No time for elf and hobbit to recover from all the last few minutes have wrought. Legolas and Sam made the only choice they possibly could. Perhaps they will survive the fall, but if they do not, their deaths will be relatively quick. Remaining with the men guaranteed a slow, agonizing death by torture. They had to jump.

Now I fear that Legolas has been hit with an arrow. He would not leave Sam to flounder about in the river on his own. But perhaps he is remaining under so as not to be hit, and will grab Sam and pull him down too, in an attempt to elude the men.

I liked the last paragraph with Gimli's thoughts on Legolas. It was a perfect ending point to the chapter, and good insight into how everything is affecting the dwarf. I wait as patiently as I can for more!



Author Reply: Ugh, a root canal? I’ve never had one, but the very phrase strikes fear in my heart. I hope that you are feeling better. It’s been so long since you reviewed that you probably are. I apologize for the very belated response. As I told Larner, every time I sat down to work on this story in some way, I decided to work on the next chapter instead of responding to reviews. I think this was in part because the bulk of the chapter was written quickly but I was unable to finish it for a long while, and that made me anxious to get it done.

I’m with you on Gimli not being the easiest character to write. He wasn’t the toughest, though – Gandalf still takes that prize. I think part of the problem is that there isn’t a whole lot written from his POV in fanfiction (at least not when compared to the other members of the Fellowship), and like Legolas, he was not deeply developed by Tolkien himself. At least, that’s my opinion. I’m glad you mentioned Gandalf and the difficult position he was in. Frodo sees that difficulty. He is waking up to the idea that he may not always be with the whole Fellowship, and that he may eventually have to make some difficult choices – choices that could mean life or death for all of them.

I appreciate your honest criticism of the “dance” description, as I appreciated it from French Pony. When I first read (her?) response I had to think about it for a while, but then I came to the opinion that she was right, as you are. “Dance” really doesn’t describe an all-out fight to the death; it brings the wrong images to mind. I haven’t fixed that paragraph yet, but I’ll get around to it soon.

There have only been a few reviewers that have had constructive criticism to offer, but they are all reviewers that I have learned to respect. I will openly admit that the first time I received criticism it was a bit of a shock. I’d had so many positive comments that I was unprepared for it. But every dissenting opinion has proven to be useful to me, no matter whether I agree or disagree with it. It helps me take a good, hard look at my work, and in all cases it has helped me to improve as a writer. Quite frankly, I think it’s an honor that people find my writing worth spending time on, and if they think it’s worth spending their time to help me better the story…. Wow. I know there are lots of things I’d like to do with my time – I never have enough – so wow.

Ah, elf-worship. This is something I have worked very, very hard to avoid. :) Legolas is a real character, not perfection given flesh. But this is really his moment to unleash the tempest – to shine. He’s been repressed for days, he’s furious, he wants vengeance for Sam, and he is a warrior who has been around the block about a thousand times. In my opinion he can kick some serious butt. The other Men didn’t contain their rage at all, and that did them in as much as Legolas’ superior skill (and desperation) did.

I agree that Sam and Legolas definitely had to jump. It seemed in keeping with their characters, caught with no way out as they were. They certainly wouldn’t have surrendered to Garan; they would have run – and died – if they had had no chance to escape. But there was a chance, even if it was remote. It had to seem better to them to at least try when they were dead anyway. It was actually Sam that suggested they jump, although the point was obliquely made. He looked down, he saw the pool, and he convinced Legolas to try. Earlier on Legolas said that he did not want to chance the river again unless he had no other choice. Foreshadowing!! (I’m rather proud of that although I didn’t expect anyone else to remember it, and now I can’t resist pointing it out.)

Glad you liked Gimli’s parting thoughts. He’s quite a noble Dwarf. I don’t think that a friendship could have sprung up between him and Legolas if both parties were not willing to try to look beyond centuries of prejudice and animosity.

Now for some parting thoughts of my own. I think it’s neat that you read other people’s reviews… and perhaps my responses to them as well. Personally, I like to read what other people say about stories and the author’s comments back. It helps me get to know the author a little better. Also – the next chapter is finished! I didn’t want to post it without responding to all reader comments first. Can’t start getting behind. I hope you continue to enjoy, and thanks as always for your lovely reviews. I always look forward to reading them.

IthilienReviewed Chapter: 11 on 2/4/2006
Holy smokes! I did not see that one coming. Talk about evil cliff-hangers! I call that an evil cliff-JUMPER! My elf! What have you done to my elf?

Seriously though, these last two chapters were wonderfully action-packed. I don’t know where you find the energy to write so much. Of course I’m delighted that you do.

First, all that is happening between Sam and Legolas as told from the Hobbit’s perspective, is a refreshing take. Usually there is a lot of narrative making it hard to follow where the action is coming from, but you crystalize this by keeping it all from Sam’s pov, and that makes the chapter very crisp.

Then you do the same thing in the next chapter, picking it all up from Gimli’s perspective. I have to admit I loved the voyeuristic approach you played out for us in showing how Legolas and Sam got out of their dire situation. A lesser author would have gone a standard route. Allowing the Fellowship to witness it as a part of their end of the story was sheer brilliance on your part.

And now you leave us with this moment of hanging on to our breath, wondering why Sam is calling for Legolas and if the elf has survived the fall. More soon please. Put it into standard pace mode and I’ll look for an update next week, right? Well, if not, give us more as soon as you get a chance. I’ll be waiting.


Author Reply: Ahh, I thought I was going to get this chapter up in a week. The bulk of it was done very quickly, but suddenly I didn’t have much time to work on it, and when I came back to it, I found that I had lost momentum. Oh, well. It’s done now!

I’m glad you liked the “voyeuristic” approach, as you call it. It was interesting to have the Fellowship in a position to be able to see what was going on, but not be able to do anything about it. Poor Gandalf is left in the unenviable role – again – of having to decide who he can afford to try and save and who he cannot. In my mind, Frodo hadn’t really thought much about possibly having to choose between his friends at any point, but he’s surely thinking about it now. The river really is a main character in the story, and it’s played many roles: kidnapper, attempted murderer, pathway, insurmountable barrier, and now, escape route. Anyway, I hope the next chapter does not disappoint, and thank you so much for your long and thoughtful review. Those are absolutely the best.

ziggyReviewed Chapter: 11 on 2/2/2006
Lost sight of this fic and then found it- bloody hell! How good is this!
I have not put this down for the last 6 chapters. Excitment, tension, brilliant writing. Serious fiction.
I love the way you see it from all angles- and Gandalf's terrible dilemma. Great stuff

Author Reply: There was a bit of a gap between the postings of chapters 9 and 10. It sounds like more than a few people thought I was giving up, but it was the holiday season after all. Mmm - serious fiction? Thank you! And thank you also for singling out Gandalf's chapter. That one was a real pain to do, so it's nice to know that you think it came out well. I hope to post regularly enough that anyone who is reading this story doesn't lose track of it again. Thanks for taking the time to review!

DairwendanReviewed Chapter: 11 on 2/1/2006
Oh this is wonderful!
True to your word you moved the plot along, thank you!
But another cliffhanger! *LOL*
Thanks!
Dair

Author Reply: Yeah... sorry about that. I had to end it there; that chapter was getting out of control. I'm glad you liked it. Now that I think about it, a good many of the chapters have been cliffhangers of varying degrees of severity - but then, a lot of stories are like that. If novels were published in installments we'd all be accusing the authors of cruelty. :)

WindSingerReviewed Chapter: 11 on 1/31/2006
I just have time for a quick review but wanted to let you know how very much I am enjoying this story! The bit with Legolas controling the trees was wonderful. And now that the rest of the fellowship has found them (but poor Sam and Legolas don't know they have been found) they are back in the river -- with their enemys hot on their trail! Go Aragorn and fellowship!

Nicely written and I just love the interaction between the characters. Everyone seems just as I imagine them.

Kudos!

Loved the nice --- long --- chapter and can't wait until the next one!

WindSinger

Author Reply: I'm glad you're still enjoying the story, WindSinger! It's nice to hear that you liked the bit with the trees. It made me kind of nervous; I didn't know how it would be received. That was the longest chapter by far and will probably end up the longest of them all - but who knows? I certainly didn't go into this chapter knowing that it would end up so lengthy.

Starfire_MoonlightReviewed Chapter: 11 on 1/31/2006
What an exciting chapter! And all through Gimli's prospective. Plus, Sam and Legolas got away! Hope the Fellowship reach them before those Men do adn I hope their aim sucks ;)

Author Reply: Yes, let's all hope their aim sucks. :) Glad you liked it!

eliza61Reviewed Chapter: 11 on 1/31/2006
When I catch my breath, I'll tell you what a tremendous story this is but right now I'm too busy having a heart attack from Legolas going over the edge, your going to have to post warnings like they do on rollercoasters. "people with bad hearts and weak nerves may faint". LOL
What a place to leave us hanging (this means you'll definitely have to update soon.) You've develop all your characters really nice, especially the bad guys (and a "good" bad guy makes a great story)

Post soon,
Eliza

Author Reply: Thank you for your kind comments, Eliza! I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story. I'm especially pleased that you like the characterizations of the villains. Even though I never have any chapters from their POVs, and there are a bunch of them, I gave them all distinct personalities (where required) or at least several definitive traits before I began writing them. That seems to have helped make them more real.

I'll post again as soon as I can!

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